Author's Note: Okay here is the final chapter. This kinda went on a lot longer than I meant it to, it kinda just kept going and going haha. I hope you don't find the ending too abrupt. This story by nature just doesn't have a resolution so I struggled a bit with how to finish it.

Now here's the thing… technically this is where this stories ends. However, due to a request from one of my favorite reviewers and a little inspiration on my part I am not going to mark this story as complete just yet. I think that in the next week or so I'm going to write an alternate ending to this story that I will post as a fourth chapter if anyone is interested. So keep an eye out for that.

Also one more note, there is a line that I stole from a movie that I will credit at the end so as not to give anything away here.

Please review!

Chapter Three

And if you were with me tonight,
I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big,
God wouldn't let it live.

- Jimmy Eat World (May Angels Lead You In)

It was later that night and Pony sat alone in his room. If possible it felt even larger and emptier than before. Neither him nor Darry had bothered with dinner, neither of them had been hungry. It seemed an accomplishment that they had just managed to eventually drag themselves off the floor of the living room.

A few hours after they had received the news Steve and Two-Bit had shown up. The night had gotten even worse then. Through his own grief Pony never even thought about what it would be like to break the news to Two-Bit or Steve. Especially Steve.

"Hey Curtises!" Two-Bit had shouted as he entered the house with Steve in tow. Steve had gotten a lot quieter since Soda had left.

Two-Bit's happy-go-lucky grin hadn't lasted long as he took in the looks on both Pony and Darry's faces. Pony looked over at Darry and could see that his eyes had a deadened look in them, though the obvious signs of crying had been wiped away. Pony imagined he himself looked worse as he had cried several more times in the past few hours.

Darry leaned forward in his recliner and Pony sat up a bit on the couch, turning away from the TV that hadn't even been on. His stomach was sinking. He knew that Two-Bit would take this news hard, but he was especially afraid of Steve's reaction. Steve didn't have any siblings of his own and he didn't get along with his parents. Even though he had the whole gang just like the rest of them did, Soda was the one who really held him together. How could they tell him that he was gone?

"What happened?" Two-Bit asked, his voice immediately serious.

Darry sighed heavily, and then silently indicated the coffee table in front of them. They had carefully placed Soda's dog tags there, unsure what to really do with them yet. Two-Bit walked up and carefully picked them up, reading them with a grim look on his face, knowing what it meant. Steve slowly came up behind him, his expression guarded.

"Soda's dog tags?" Steve said slowly. It was obvious that he didn't want to believe what this meant as he sent a questioning look at Darry. He wouldn't go there on his own free will; he would need it spelled out for him.

"He's gone, Steve," Darry said, his voice hitching slightly. It was the first time either him or Pony had admitted it out loud. Pony could feel fresh tears welling up in his eyes. He was kind of surprised that he had any tears left at all. Two-Bit slowly replaced the tags on the table, taking extra care as if afraid of breaking them. "They came by this afternoon to tell us. He's gone."

Steve was backing up toward the door and with a warning glance from Darry, Two-Bit moved to block the exit. They all knew that if Steve ran off right now he could end up just like Dally.

"No," Steve said, shaking his head and glancing around like a trapped animal. "No… he-he can't be…"

"Steve…" Darry said slowly, pain on his face as he watched the realization that this was really happening wash over Soda's best friend's face. Steve turned and made to run for the door, but Two-Bit stopped him, grabbing him by the shoulders. Steve struggled against him, trying to push him away but Two-Bit had a very determined look in his eyes.

"Let go!" Steve demanded.

Darry stood up and walked over to them, but Pony felt frozen in his spot, unable to move.

"You can't leave," Darry said.

"Like hell I can't!" Steve shouted, his eyes flashing dangerously. "You ain't the boss of me, Darry."

"Steve, please," Darry pleaded tiredly. He placed a hand on Steve's shoulder. "We're all hurtin' right now. None of us are dealing well with this. But Soda wouldn't want you runnin' off and doing anything rash, you know that."

"What the hell do you care?" Steve spat fiercely as he fought even harder against Two-Bit's hold. After a moment he managed to get lose, roughly shoving Two-Bit away, but Darry tightened his grip on his shoulder, keeping him in place at least for the moment. "What the hell do you care what I do?"

"I care a lot!" Darry said firmly. Steve froze and looked up at him. "We are still family, Steve. Soda being gone doesn't change that. I'm not gonna let you run off and do anything drastic because I care about you and I don't want anything to happen to you."

Pony watched Steve's face carefully as the anger slowly melted away. His shoulders dropped and his posture took on a defeated look. He was shaking his head, grasping desperately at denial, but the facts were too clear. Finally there were the shining signs of tears in Steve's eyes. Pony had never seen Steve cry. Ever. Not even when he was little. He let out a choked sob and Darry pulled him into a hug just like he would for one of his own little brothers, wrapping his arms around him protectively. Steve's arms were limp at his sides but he buried his face into Darry's t-shirt much like Pony had hours before. And the dam broke. Steve wasn't just crying, he was sobbing just as much as Pony had. Soda had meant the world to him as well. Pony could see that so clearly in that moment.

"Hey kid." Pony jumped at bit at Two-Bit's soft voice. He had been so mesmerized by the scene in front of him he hadn't noticed him approaching. Then he realized that there were tears freely falling down his own cheeks again. He wondered vaguely when that had started. "C'mere." Pony was surprised by the gentleness in Two-Bit's voice.

He allowed Two-Bit to pull him to his feet and they walked over to where Steve and Darry stood. Darry looked over and reached out a hand to pull Pony in closer. Pony tucked himself in safely under Darry's free arm as he wrapped one of his arms around Darry's back while carefully wrapping the other around Steve. Steve didn't even appear to notice, too consumed by his own grief. As Two-Bit moved around to Darry's other side, Pony noticed tears falling down his cheeks as well. It didn't matter that they were all supposed to be tuff hoods. Darry was right; none of them were dealing with this well. But as Two-Bit joined the circle and Pony closed his eyes he could almost feel Soda watching them.

Soda always had a way of bringing everyone together.

Pony sat at his desk, staring down at the letter he had written to his brother just hours before. The letter he had written before he had known that his whole world was about to be undone. Again.

Pony took a deep breath. He needed to talk to Soda now more than ever. He reached a slightly shaking hand toward his pencil. Carefully he flipped over the piece of paper, placing the portion he had written while he still thought his brother was alive firmly against his desk. He placed his pencil against the clean sheet and began to write.

"Dear Soda,

We just got the news. It's so hard to believe that this is really happening. I have been missing you so much for the past eight months but it was so comforting knowing that you would be coming home in another four months. At least that's what we thought."

Pony paused. He had lost count of the amount of times he had cried today and he could feel the tears welling up once more. He was determined to get this out though.

"I miss you so much more now that I know. It's a much different kind of ache. It's like there is this huge hole in my chest where something is missing. I feel empty thinking about never seeing you again. You always meant so much to me Soda. I loved you so much. I love you so much. I will always love you. I know you never talked about it in any of your letters, but you must have been scared over there. I know you'd never want to hurt anyone. So I'm glad that you are not scared anymore. And I know that now you are with Mom and Dad. They can keep you safe now in a way that we could not.

I want you to know that I'm going to try very hard for you. This is so hard on all of us. Steve didn't take it well at all. But Darry kept us all together. Just like you used to. And Darry is going to take care of us. Just like he always does. I don't know how, but we will find a way through this. I know you are looking down on us and I want to make you proud. Darry and I won't fight. And I'm going to work real hard in school and go to college. I know you wanted that for me almost as much as Darry did. Maybe Darry will be able to go back to school too. I just hope that he doesn't always have to work so hard. I know you hope that too.

Please watch over us Soda. You have always been my guardian angel. I need you now more than ever. And say hi to Mom and Dad for me. Tell them I still miss them too.

I love you. God, I miss you. And I forgive you. I know you never wanted to leave.

- Ponyboy Curtis"

Pony stared down at the paper for several minutes. Several tears had fallen onto it, smearing the words in several places. He knew that it didn't matter much though.

There was a soft knock as his door, but Pony didn't acknowledge it, still transfixed by his letter. After a minute he heard the door creek open.

"Pony?" came Darry's careful voice. "You okay in here?"

Without looking at him Pony slowly shook his head. Things were definitely far from okay. He knew it was be a very long time before he felt okay again. "I… I wrote him a letter," Pony said quietly.

Darry walked up behind him and put a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure he'd like that a lot, kiddo," he said softly.

"Not like I can mail it to him though," Pony said flatly.

Darry gave Pony a light squeeze and then crouched down next to him. "Pony? Pony look at me." With an effort Pony turned his gaze away from paper in front of him and looked at his big brother. Darry's eyes were steady and Pony desperately wished for some of his composure as he was aware of tears creeping down his cheeks once again. "We're gonna be okay, alright kiddo? We'll all get through this together."

Pony nodded vaguely. He had to believe that or else he knew that he wouldn't survive.

"How's Steve doing?" he asked quietly.

"He seems to be calming down," Darry said. "Two-Bit's with him."

Pony nodded again. He sighed and then turned back to his letter. He carefully folded it up and placed it in the envelope next to it, sealing it tight. He picked up his pencil and wrote 'Sodapop Patrick Curtis' while trying not to actually read the words.

"Do you… do you think…" Pony knew what he wanted to do, but he just found it hard to actually put it in words. "Maybe we could… bury it… with him…" He was just barely holding it together, trying not to think too hard about what his own words actually meant.

"Sure, kiddo," Darry said, rubbing Pony's back comfortingly even as his own voice shook slightly. "We can do that." He paused. "Steve and Two-Bit are gonna stay out in the living room. You thinkin' about going to bed soon?"

Pony look at his bed, feeling a sinking feeling in his stomach. He had sucked it up for the past eight months and had slept in that bed alone, curling up on his side of the bed as far away from Soda's side as possible. That way it was easier to close his eyes and pretend that Soda was actually there with him, just out of reach. Somehow he knew that wouldn't help him tonight though. He contemplated sleeping on the couch before he remembered that was taken tonight.

"Maybe not yet," Pony said reluctantly.

Darry looked at him carefully, his eyes straying to the empty bed for a moment before returning back to Pony. "You can bunk with me tonight if you want," he said easily.

Pony was quiet for a moment. He was sixteen years old. Did he really want to be the teenager who couldn't sleep alone in his own room?

Finally he slowly nodded. "Yeah, if that's okay," he said quietly, looking down at the floor in embarrassment.

"Course it is," Darry said. "I'm gonna crash. Come to bed whenever you're ready, okay?"

"Thanks Darry," Pony said with a nod and a very small smile.

Darry walked out of the room and Pony took a deep breath. He wondered if he would get any sleep tonight. He couldn't help but think back to the night after his parents' funeral, it was the first night he had one of his terrifying nightmares that he could never remember. Just thinking about it caused him to shudder.

Pony quickly changed for bed, suddenly not wanting to be alone. As he walked down the hallway to Darry's room he could hear low voices coming from the living room. Steve and Two-Bit. He wondered if either of them would sleep tonight.

Even though he had been invited, Pony still felt a little nervous about going into Darry's room. He hardly ever had a reason to go in there. He slowly opened the door and stepped in, closing the door behind him. The room was just a little bigger than his own room that he had shared with the middle Curtis brother. Before their parents had died Soda and Darry had shared a room while Pony had his own room. After Soda had more permanently moved into Pony's room they had sold the two twin beds that had been the other room and Darry had moved their parents' bed into what was now only his room. Darry was practical, sleeping in the bed that belonged to their deceased parents hadn't bothered him like it would have bothered Pony.

"Hey Pony," Darry said. He was laying in bed, looking over at him.

"Hey Darry," Pony said as he approached. Carefully he climbed onto the far side of the bed, tucking himself in under the covers. He was grateful not to be alone tonight. He was grateful that Darry was still here with him. He took a deep breath, trying to calm him, but it was shaky.

"You okay, Pony?" Darry asked again, rolling over to face him.

"I'm such a bawl baby," Pony muttered as felt tears welling up yet again. He had probably cried a dozen times since they had received that damned letter a few hours ago.

Darry carefully reached out and wrapped his arms around Pony. "Yeah… so was Soda…" he said quietly. "But that's okay."

Pony remembered Darry telling him that Soda had cried every night for the entire week he had been missing. Pony sniffed and he pushed himself closer to Darry. If only he could cry for a week and have this be over. If only he had some kind of hope that this would only be a temporary pain. If only he didn't know that his brother was gone forever.

Pony broke down into sobs as Darry held him close.

It'll be a long time before I'm okay again… but I do think that someday this won't hurt as much. Someday I'll think back on you, brother, and be able to smile even though I will still miss you. Someday I'll be able to think about you without crying and hurting. But that day is not today. So I hope as you look down at me you are not disappointed. I will get to a better place someday. But for now I just need to let this hurt.

Sodapop Patrick Curtis… The world is just a little bit colder without you in it.

I love you. God, I miss you. And someday I will see you again along with Mom and Dad. Someday we will all be a family again.

The End

Credit: The line "I love you. God, I miss you. And I forgive you." is from the movie Remember Me (2010).