RESPECT: I WON'T BE THERE

Respect: Hands Tied Together

"Oh look, Tezuka, the snow is falling." I said while holding on to his hand and pointing at the clouds.

"Yes"

Unlike last Christmas where he didn't come and visit, Tezuka came to Japan. I didn't know about it until a week ago. It was quite mean of him not to tell me, but like the other times, he said that it was a surprise. I found it amazing how he could surprise me so well. Besides, I never even knew that he could hug me tightly, too tight I couldn't breathe. He must have missed me too much that he didn't want to let me go.

"I just wish we could be like this tomorrow, and the next day, and the next week, and the month after that." I stared into Tezuka's eyes. His eyes were glued to mine. "I don't want to let you go." I raised my right hand, the hand that held on to his, and showed it to him. "Don't you ever let go of this hand."

"Amai" He said. Whenever he said my name that usually meant that he had nothing else to say. I noticed that a lot when we talked on the phone. After I say a sentimental comment, he would say my name and then we would change the topic.

But I didn't want to change the topic. "Tell me you'll never let go of me."

He breathed out air. Visible air puffed out of his mouth. "I won't let go of you."

I grinned. "And now that you've said that, you will not let go of this hand until the clock strikes midnight."

His expression didn't change. I always wanted to crack his head so that I would know what he's thinking. But apparently, he tried to fill me in with what's inside his thoughts. "If holding hands mean so much to you, then I guess I shouldn't let go."

I couldn't help but laugh at the comment. Any single phrase that doesn't seem like a Tezuka- phrase would officially make my brain laugh on its own. I gave him my signature smile, "Right!"

"Now, where might these two love birds be heading to?"

We both turned our heads to be greeted by the one and only character who would snoop at our back with a grin on his face, Fuji Syuusuke. Along with him came a bunch of few other characters, namely Eiji, Oishi, Kawamura and Haru-chan.

I completely ignored Fuji's comment and jumped on the one guy I've been waiting to hug - Inui Sadaharu. It's been three whole months since I last saw him. I took a huge step and let go of Tezuka's hand. I jump on Sadaharu and he caught me without a problem.

"Gosh, I've missed you so much!" I looked up at his huge figure. "Wow, you've grown quite a bit in three months."

"I did, huh. 38% percent of my weight must have come from this new diet that I'm in. You want to try it?" He asked while letting go of my waists. "You, on the other hand, have lost quite a lot."

I giggled. I wasn't quite sure if that was a compliment or a show that I was completely stressed out during my second year of high school. I suddenly realized that my hand was missing some sort of warmth. I looked back at the expressionless Tezuka and noticed that I was not holding on to his hand.

I moved back and stood beside Tezuka. "I guess the second year of high school is stressful" I replied while catching Tezuka's hand. "How's Ren?"

"Renji? He's studying quite a lot. Just the usual."

"That sounds too boring." I looked at the other tennis idiots. "And how are you guys? Oh, wait, I hear Kawamura-san here has a girlfriend. Dare to share?"

He started scratching the back of his head, "We met in the sushi shop. She's a year younger than me and…" He began to start looking like a tomato. Eiji hit him in the back and told him to calm down. Apparently, Haru-chan explained to me that he was too in love that he couldn't explain anything about their relationship too publicly. We all laughed, except for my dearest Kunimitsu.

"And how are you two?" Eiji asked. He was eyeing our hands that were tied so elegantly to each other. I looked down at them and started blushing even though I tried to stop the blood from rushing.

"You didn't even tell us you arrived, Tezuka!" Oishi sounded infuriated.

"I arrived this morning, Oishi." He replied quickly.

"Ah, you guys are so mean." Eiji begins this puppy dog face. I think he's too old for it but man, he still looks cute. "You weren't planning to tell us that you're both here in Tokyo. And then last year, Tezuka flew straight to Osaka without telling us. We haven't seen you for a year."

Basically, the guys just miss Tezuka more than they miss me. I guess, it can't be helped.

Eiji didn't stop talking and continued getting mad because he was too late with all the news. "I wasn't even told that both of you were almost going to break up. Don't you guys ever think about how I feel?"

It's never too hard not to know what Eiji feels. I mean he shows all his expressions to you without even trying to hide it. He's an open book. An extremely open book!

I bow down to him jokingly, "I'm sorry, Eiji, Oishi. But you see, both of us are together now." I rose up our tied up hands. "So, you don't have to worry."

Oishi sighed while giving himself a massage on his temples. "That's exactly why I'm so happy."

I smiled back at him. "I swear with that attitude of yours, you can have a girlfriend without a problem. Believe me; you're like the ultimate nice guy!"

We all make another huge laugh while Oishi starts turning extremely red. And as expected of the senpais of the Seigaku regulars team (a few years ago), we all rush to Kawamura's sushi shop to try out his new dishes. This time, all the dishes were especially made by Kawamura for all of us. Oh, I just miss this.

"Twelve midnight is a long time, Amasawa Amai."

This was the comment of Tezuka as soon as he realized that he was getting tired of holding on to my hand. I never even knew that it was going to be this tiring. I mean at some point in my life, I just have to let go.

We sat on one of the benches that overlooked a frozen lake. "You know what I love about today?" I asked him.

He shook his head.

I looked up at the sky, while he continued to look at my face. "It's the fact that it's not raining." I stared back into his eyes. But my view was then covered by the darkness. Sometimes Tezuka just can't control himself. Kissing me without any sign or heads up, he's such an idiot in such things. I don't let go and allow him to kiss me with all he's got.

When he finally took a breath, he doesn't let his face move an inch away from mine. Our foreheads touch each other and I smiled. "I'm getting tired of these surprises, Tezuka." I whispered.

I rested on his chest as he hugged me tightly. I felt all surge of warmth around me. For some reason, I felt like I was covered in a blanket – a very thick blanket.

"I have a lot more surprises up my sleeve, Amai." He replied. "I hope you don't get tired too easily."

I chuckled. I pushed him away. He gave me a surprised look. "Just make sure that none of these surprises will give me a heart attack."

He smirked. "Sure"

Gosh, I just love that smirk!

I closed my eyes and felt the cool air on my cheeks. I rested my head on his right shoulder. A question popped out of my head. It was a question that I hated asking but every single time I think of it, I knew that I just had to ask it.

"Ne, Tezuka." I whispered, hoping he wouldn't hear me.

"Hm?" But I was mistaken. He's Tezuka. He hears every single thing that surrounds him.

I gulped a large bunch of saliva. I had to ask it. "When are you leaving?"

A moment of silence passed both of us. He didn't answer the question but instead stood up without notice and pulled me off the seat. I didn't know exactly where we were headed but I knew for sure it was another surprise. I hated surprises.

"Tezuka?"

He didn't respond. Either he was too excited to show me the next surprise or he was angry with my question.

"Tezuka!"

I yelled. I hated the fact that he was pulling me. It was hurting my arm. I was getting too tired. He knew that I suck at these strenuous activities like brisk walking or pulling of arms. I was seriously getting annoyed. Besides, I still had no idea where we were going.

"Tezuka!" I screamed once more and pulled him to a stop. It was hard and painful to my arm. He tried to pull but he stopped. "Why aren't you answering me? I just wanted to know when you were leaving. I don't care if it's tomorrow or the next day or the next week. I just don't want it to be a surprise. Not this."

He still didn't look at me. "Have you ever wondered what it felt like to be in my position, Amai? Have you thought that it hurts a lot for me to answering that stupid question? Leaving? Who wants to leave?" he screamed at my face. His face was filled with so much distaste. He looked so frustrated.

I looked down at my hand. It was still amazing that he didn't let it go. I don't think he was ever planning to.

I shook my head. "But Tezuka."

"Think for once, Amai!" He yelled once more. "I know I'm not alone here. I know you understand what I feel. You're a smart girl. Just for once, let's forget about leaving. Let's forget that next week I might be gone or that for the next few months I won't be seeing you. Let's just think about now. Because I don't want anything else but you for now."

A teardrop fell from my eye. It was uncontrollable. Even though he was stupid with all these love crap, he seriously knew how to make me fall in love with him again. He pushed me into another tight and warm embrace. I hugged him back and squeezed him tight. That's when I cried like a baby on his shoulder. Like a baby- I was for sure that was the term that best described how I looked.

"I guess every time I return to Japan, I see you cry, huh, Amai?"

I just nodded, continuing to sob relentlessly.

"Won't you stop?"

I shook my head.

I knew at that instant that Tezuka would have smiled at the very reaction I was giving him. He would have smiled and I would have missed that moment because my eyes were wet from all the tears that kept flowing.

He walked me home, with my hand still held on to his and my eyes still flooding with tears. I must have looked stupid. I must have really looked stupid.

We were nearing my house when I felt a vibration in my pocket. I wiped away the extra tears that were flowing from my eyes and looked at my phone.

It was an alarm.

"It's midnight, Tezuka." I told him.

"What do you think we should do?" He asked while looking at our hands. He obviously didn't want to let go of it since he held on to it with a lot more force. I, too, didn't want to let go.

"Nothing." I replied, trying to smile even though I knew another tear was going to fall.

Tezuka looked back at me and watched me force a smile on my face. And at that moment, I knew for sure that that smile he was giving me was genuine.

"You're too cute." I said while squeezing his cheek.

"Merry Christmas!" We all yelled.

A Christmas party with a special reunion of the Seigaku tennis team was the perfect to celebrate. Two years has been too long. Echizen, who flew all the way from states just to meet his crazy senpais, is now an extremely gorgeous fellow. Kaido and Momoshiro haven't changed a bit in terms of attitude but I think those two have turned into gods of their own kind. Amazingly, I had just realized that the tennis team two years ago may have been secretly a host club. I mentally laughed.

Kawamura brought her extremely cute girlfriend, who was so clueless with the craziness of this club. Apparently, Oishi had a girl he liked and brought her along. But this was actually part of his plan to confess to her later when the clock hits 12. We all know the plan. Eiji has been pushing Oishi to stop blushing. I find it quite a cute scene. Haru-chan has been cooking up some new juices for all of us to try but none of us are willing to die on Christmas day. Fuji and Tezuka are talking silently in the corners. I have no idea what type of secrets they are hiding from me but sometimes, I just try to shrug it off.

I sit down on the cold benches near the tennis court. Everything from here looked like middle school all over again. I was starting to go sentimental.

"Amasawa-chan!" I looked up at the person calling my name.

"Ryuuzaki-sensei!" I greeted. "Merry Christmas!"

"Ah, Merry Christmas to you, too." She sat beside me on the bench. I've never actually talked to her about my personal life so it was a surprise for me when she called out my name. "How's Tezuka-kun?"

I smiled. "He's the same old stoic captain that you know."

"Oh really? He must be an interesting guy to pair yourself up with." She commented.

"Of course he is. Sometimes I think that it was stupid that we got together and thought that we might break up. But since he knows how to keep his word, I realized that it's pretty hard to do that."

"Keeping his word, huh?" She grinned, "In reality, he isn't just keeping his word."

I looked at her stare at her ex-students jump around the tennis court. "What do you mean?"

"He's doing all that he can so that he can get what he wants." She smiled. She explained more. "Of course you know how he sacrificed his arm for the sake of his team."

I nodded.

"He can do that again just to have you by his side." She smiled. "I'm speaking metaphorically."

"I know." I replied. "But what does he want?"

"I guess other than being by your side, he wants something more." She took a sip from a drink she was holding on to. "Now, that is something you youngsters have to find out on your own."

"Would you know what it is?"

She stood up from her seat. "Of course not!" She giggled. "I don't know what goes inside that boyfriend's head of yours."

I smiled in return and watched her leave. I thanked her mentally for the words of wisdom. I believe that's her way of giving a Christmas gift.

"Alright, gather around because it's time for the gift giving!" Eiji called out to everyone.

Everyone else except Kawamura, his girlfriend, Oishi, his friend, Tezuka and I picked up a piece of paper from a bowl. Basically this meant that I had to be giving to Tezuka while he was giving to me.

I sighed at the stupidity of this whole party. And here I bought two gifts, because I had one for Tezuka and the other one to whoever I'll pick in the bowl. But there was no bowl picking for me. I guess I had to give both to Tezuka.

As everyone went to their pair to exchange gifts, I saw Tezuka walk to me. I jumbled through my bag and found my gift for him. I was close to showing it to him when suddenly he holds my left elbow.

"Amai" he said. "I have something to tell you."

I looked at his empty hand before I nodded my head. He didn't seem to bring a gift today. He led me outside the tennis court and back to the bench where I was sitting awhile ago. He told me to take a seat. He started feeling through his pockets while asking me questions.

"How long will you be in Tokyo?" He started.

"Uh, two more weeks." I replied. I wondered what he was trying to get from his pocket. He finally pulled out

"Any plans?"

"Nope." I shook my head. By this time, he had a piece of paper removed from his pants. It was pretty large. I suddenly thought that it was stupid of him to take some time in searching when it was not so hard to find. "I guess I'm just going to stay home."

He hands me the paper. "Want to go on a trip with me?"

I get the paper. "To where?"

I opened up the folded paper and looked at the contents. I opened my eyes to the answer of the question. "To Germany"

I scanned through the ticket. I was bound for a flight to Germany in three days. I'd be staying there for five days and then I come back.

"Five days?" I asked while looking up at him with glee.

He nodded.

"Oh my gosh! You're brilliant!" I jumped off my seat to hug him. He hugged me back immediately.

"Is that a yes?"

"Who would say no to such a magnificent request?" I replied rhetorically. He smirked.

What I love about this Christmas is the fact that I would be spending it mostly with him. It was probably the happiest Christmas that I've experienced so far and I was for sure that if I would be with him until I die, every single Christmas would be better.

"You know what?" I said while staring deeply into his eyes.

"Hm?"

"You're irreplaceable." I said while pinching his nose.

"Yes. And so are you…"

A/n: It has seriously been so long since I last wrote. Anyway, I don't plan to write spontaneously with this story. Two more one shots to go! And the next chapter would obviously be a date in Germany!!

Thank you to all those who subscribed, favorited and reviewed. You are the ones that keep me alive.