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How To Get A Boyfriend

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Hello, Alice Academy students. My name is Sumire Shouda and I'm going to give few advices how to get a boyfriend. If you're almost eighteen and still single since birth, you have the last chance to change it or else you will be a LOSER forever.

Now, who wants to be a LOSER forever? Not me, that's for sure.

Mikan Sakura, my dearest friend, told me that you, silly people, had sent her letter to remove my article from Alice Academy's newspaper; and I thought about it. And I say – NO WAY, DUDES.

I decided to change my style of writing. Instead of making you all feel like idiots, I will make you successful. I will give you advices for your life every month. This month, as I mentioned few paragraphs earlier, I will give you advices how to get a boyfriend.

First Advice:

Find a guy.

Second Advice:

If you see a random guy STARING at you, call the police. It's serious.

Third Advice:

If you see a hot guy, get closer to him so he could walk past you and accidentally touch your shoulder with his. It's the best thing in the world—even better than apple pie.

Fourth Advice:

Now that you have found a guy, got away from some crazy stalkers and accidentally touched him (YOU HAVE HIS DNA ON YOUR SHIRT), you can start following him on Twitter.

Fifth Advice:

If he accepts your request to follow, it means that he has noticed you too—AWESOME. Now you can find him in Facebook and add him as your friend.

Sixth Advice:

He freaking accepted. YES—go celebrate. Now you know that he's ready to mingle. MHAHAHAHA.

Seventh Advice:

If he's in relationship with someone, remember that dating doesn't mean marriage. He will not have ten kids with his girlfriend and sooner or later they will break up. That's how the cookie crumbles.

Eight Advice:

If after long wait they are still together, send him a letter, telling him how much you love him. If he doesn't respond, he's a douche.

Ninth Advice:

If you're still single, change your attention object. Maybe something is wrong with him?

Tenth Advice:

To make your searches easier, try to find your perfect matches at dating sites as 100 Top Dating Sites, Luvfree, Datingsiteslist or just type in Google Dating Sites. It will help you get a hot and single guy faster.

Warning – Those guys may be lying to you (Example: pedophile, transvestite).

Eleventh Advice:

Never ever go on a blind date. Please, just ignore the request. If you really want to go, ask you friend to come with you. It's going to be safer.

Twelfth Advice:

If you haven't had a date, choose your first date partner to be your friend or classmate. You know him and he knows you. You must feel good, being on your first date.

Thirteenth Advice:

If your best friend accepts to go with you on a date, make sure that you go with him to a place that is interesting.

Warning – Never go to ZOO, your house or to beach on the first date. Choose the cinema or a nearby park.

Fourteenth Advice:

DO NOT KISS YOUR DATE ON THE FIRST DATE.

Fifteenth Advice:

Take a shower before your first date.

Sixteenth Advice:

Your teeth must be clean on the first date.

Seventeenth Advice:

Act like an idiot. Boys like to know that their dates are more stupid than they are. Go and figure them out.

Eighteenth Advice:

If your best friend wants a second date, turn it down.

Nineteenth Advice:

If he doesn't leave you alone on Myspace, Twitter and Facebook, tell him that you father is a policeman.

Twentieth Advice:

If he doesn't leave you after it, you have found a pearl. Go on a second date.

And now, my dear readers, that's the goal to find your ideal boyfriend. It doesn't matter if he isn't as hot, good looking or even smart. You have to realize that no one will love you more than your best friend.

That's all from me this week. I have a date with Koko Yome. Bye.

xoxo,

Sumire.

A/N- This is one-shot and was made for fun. I hope you enjoyed reading it. Big thanks to Ria Lee for beta reading.

~LCG