After a long delay...the 5th chapter to Crash Course Parenting! 'chirpchirpchirp' GASP! Have I lost all my readers? Probably not, but there is one noteworthy reader who deserves some recognition, and not just because they read/review CCP, but also my other works.
This chapter is dedicated to you, Kitsu. Hope this was worth the wait.
The update came a little earlier than what I stated in my profile, but since I just had 3 days straight of testing and I have a presentation tomorrow, I decided I deserved a reward. So...I ditched all my homework for this. Yay for bad prioritizing!
Chapter 5, ready for your reading pleasure.
Chapter 5: Home and . . . Oopsies
"Shinra's the smartest Al Bhed at Home," Cid explained to Yuna and her guardians as they made their way through Home. Auron and Rikku had been left in a room Cid guaranteed secure, with toys and snacks abounding. The adults were now in search of a cure to Auron and Rikku's dilemma, and Cid suggested that the first place to go was the resident genius of Home.
"Give him a problem, he'll have it solved or give himself an aneurysm before the end of the day."
"So, he'll help us?" Wakka asked as they hurried along.
"He will, or I'll toss him off the airship from a thousand feet," Cid growled, steering them into a room.
Computers completely lined the walls, papers with calculations and scribbling littered several tables, and a bubbling chemistry lab was set off to the side on a counter.
"Cid, what brings you to my humble abode?" a young voice asked.
Everyone turned to the far back reaches of the room, where someone dressed in what appeared to be a diving suit sat. When the figure hopped down, they were surprised to see the figure stood barely taller than Wakka's hip.
"This is their genius?" Wakka whispered to Lulu. "Most other people call 'em kids."
"Shinra, we need you to find a cure for Rikku," Cid said bluntly. As an afterthought, he added, "And Auron."
Shinra cocked his head. "Auron? The Legendary Guardian Auron? And your daughter? Well, isn't that just an interesting predicament. What seems to be the problem?"
"Well," Yuna stepped forward, "they were turned into children a few days ago."
"Turned into children? Hm, that is very curious." Shinra glanced past their group. "As there is no ruckus, I'm assuming the children are elsewhere?"
"In a playroom," Cid confirmed.
"Let's go, then," Shinra strode forward, picking up two sterile needles. "If I'm to make any sort of diagnosis, I'll need a blood sample."
"Blood sample?" Tidus gulped. "Glad I'm not them right now."
"I don't like needles!" Rikku sobbed as Cid placed her on a table close to Shinra's height.
"Now now, princess, don't you worry about a thing," Cid cooed, his tough exterior melting away into fatherhood. "It won't hurt a tiny bit."
"Actually," Shinra started, "the needle's puncture will be very notice—"
"It won't hurt," Lulu stated, glaring dangerously at Shinra. The Al Bhed boy decided not to push his luck and continue with preparing the needle.
Rikku eyed the equipment through watery eyes. "Do I get a sucker after this?" she asked her father.
"You get all the suckers you want, Rikku," Cid assured her, squeezing a hand.
"Alright, blood sample number one," Shinra declared, sliding the needle under Rikku's dermis.
When Tidus left to retrieve Auron from Kimahri and Wakka, the blitzer was certain his eardrums were at least popped, if not bleeding.
"Okay, Auron," Shinra said loudly to compensate for his hearing loss, "hop onto the table and we'll get you squared away."
Tidus plopped the boy onto the table, and Auron looked at Shinra with wide, curious eyes. "You wook funny," he said.
"My, aren't you just complimentary," Shinra prepared his needle. "Yuna, maybe we should try and give him a sucker before we take a sample. Just to see if it makes any difference."
Shrugging, Yuna proffered a sucker. Eyes brightening, Auron took it eagerly and began slurping at the sugar.
"Okay, Auron, I'll try not to make this hurt."
To the adults' amazement, Auron watched the needle pierce his skin, waited, and watched it slide out again with nary a yowl. The boy tilted his head, sucker firmly planted in his mouth.
"Maybe we ought to give him a sucker whenever it's You-Know-What time," Tidus whispered under his breath to Yuna as Shinra bustled about with his newly-procured sample.
"That would defeat the purpose, wouldn't it?" she replied as saliva dribbled down Auron's chin.
While the grown-ups were talking to the Bad Man with the Needle, Rikku peered critically at the battle laid out before her. With one eye squinted shut, she maneuvered the cannon further to the right.
"Ready," she whispered to her troops. "Aim . . . FIRE!"
The miniature cannon ball shot in an arc upon little figurines she had dubbed, "Evil Maester-Men of Yevon." The round piece of lead struck one particular figure that had horn-like blue hair, leaving an impressive indent on his chest. With a wide grin, Rikku moved her Al Bhed troops to an area she declared, "The Party Room of the Bestest Peoples of Spira." For the dead of the bad guys she had a huge sandworm descend upon them and "swallow" the armies. In reality, all she did was kick the figurines clear while she made roaring noises that did not sound at all like the ferocious sandworms of the Bikanel Desert.
Rikku frowned down at her play scene, hands on her hips and lips pursed in dissatisfaction. After a half hour of battling the Evil Maester-Men of Yevon she was bored. She wanted someone to play with, but most definitely not her Brother! She wished Auron was around; it was fun to show him around and teach him the important stuff of the world. But Auron was off taking a nap, because little kids needed naps, and she was too old for such things.
The girl wandered to the sleeping boy, glaring down with her hands on her hips. Maybe, if she stared long enough, Auron would wake up and then they could go on some more adventures!
Ten more minutes passed, leaving Rikku agitated and no closer to having adventures. Just as she was about to poke Auron with one of her toys the sitter came over, making tsk tsk noises and leading Rikku away from the boy. "Now, Rikku, you should leave Auron alone. He needs his nappy time."
"But I'm boooored," Rikku fidgeted anxiously. "I want to play with Auron!"
"You'll have to wait until he wakes up on his own, now, dearie," the sitter patted Rikku on the head and went on her way to a comfy chair.
Rikku frowned and stomped her foot in dislike, looking around. With a disgruntled huff Rikku laid down on her tummy and kicked her feet, watching Auron sulkily. As she continued to gaze, her eyes were attracted by the bright sun-decorated sheets. Slowly, devilishly, Rikku came up with an idea.
When Auron trundled over twenty minutes later Rikku was dragging out spare sheets from the closet. The boy tilted his head, asking, "Whatcha doing, Rikku?"
She spun around, clapping her hands together when she found him at her side. "Yay! You're awake! You took foreeeever with your nap! C'mon, I've got an idea for an adventure!"
"An aventuwe?" Auron gasped, jumping up and down in glee.
"Yeah! We're gonna go parachuting!"
Tidus smiled at Yuna, sipping from his iced tea on a patio reserved for diners. "Isn't this great?" he asked, leaning back in his chair. "Calm and quiet. No worries about Auron and Rikku running around under our feet."
"I don't know," Yuna said hesitantly, drinking from her own tea. "We should be keeping an eye on them ourselves. They are our responsibility."
"Yuna, we're too young to be worrying about kids," Tidus argued. "I mean, we're nowhere near being ready for marriage and stuff like that--" As Yuna furrowed her brows Tidus realized what he had said and backtracked nervously, "Not that we're not ready for the next step, y'know, l-like dating stuff . . . N-not that we're not doing that already, but I mean for the bigger dates like expensive dinners and, and, walks on the beach and, er, well really expensive dinners--"
As Tidus dug himself deeper into a hole that would earn him several nights on a flea-ridden couch, there was an eerie sound that fell upon the diners. The multiple pitches were both high, and coincided with a large shadow that overcame the patio. Looking up, Tidus and Yuna stared open-mouthed at the huge winged monster descending upon them.
A huge, winged monster with . . . shoopuf and chocobo patterns on its wings?
Tidus blinked, watching as the shape became more distinct. A strangled screech lodged in his throat as he recognized Rikku's blonde locks and Auron's brown ponytail.
"That's Auron and Rikku!" Yuna gasped beside him.
The two children glided into the buffet table, breaking it in half and causing the plates of sandwiches, fruits, juices and other beverages, cakes, and pastries to fall upon them. Horrified, Tidus and Yuna launched at the table, clearing away the debris as fast as they could.
The sheets were stained, but that was nothing compared to the mess Rikku and Auron were. Covered head-to-toe in cake and sandwich fillers and drenched with juice, they looked like twin smorgasbord mountains.
"Uh," Rikku chuckled faintly, an apologetic smile on her face. "Oopsies."
Auron blinked up at Tidus and Yuna, lips turned downward in an adorable (if wholly unfortunate) pout. "I don't wike pawaduting."
After cleaning up the children and healing a few of the bruises and cuts they had garnered from their attempt at parachuting, the adults went to the sitter to see how she could have let them out with sheets to attempt an asinine version of parachuting. To their rage they found her asleep in a chair, unaware of her charges' disappearance. Cid yelled rather furiously in Al Bhed while Lulu and Kimahri glared on intimidatingly. Combined, the force made the sitter rush out in tears. Entirely unremorseful, Cid appointed another sitter (one who knew better than to sleep on the job) and told the children in no uncertain terms that they were to never parachute again.
Finding her resolve, Yuna chose to confront Shinra to see if he had any luck with the blood samples. Auron and Rikku were a danger to themselves in this condition, and it needed to be remedied as soon as possible.
"I haven't discovered the exact spell used to change them into children," Shinra admitted to the anxious adults gathered around him. "To do that, you'd have to find the person who cast the spell and make them spit it out."
"But you said you had some good news, ya?" Wakka pointed out. "That can't be it."
"While I don't know what the spell is, I do know a particular ingredient used in the spell," Shinra tapped two keys on the computer and an image appeared of a flower. "Moonlilies, concentrated around the Moonflow area and Guadosalam. The petals of the flower were used in the spell, and showed up in Auron's and Rikku's bloodstream."
"Found in the Moonflow and Guadosalam, eh?" Cid frowned. "That means the Guado did it! They targeted my Rikku!"
"We should head back to Guadosalam and find the person who did this," Lulu interrupted Cid's rant. "Preferably before Auron or Rikku recall any more memories."
"Let's pick them up and head out on the airship then," Tidus exclaimed. "The sooner this is over, the sooner I can start repressing."
An intercom cackled to life just as they were leaving. "Cid? Fa yna bnabynat du myihlr dra dacd Vmoanc. Cruimt fa ku yrayt fedruid oui?" (We are prepared to launch the test Flyers. Should we go ahead without you?)
Cid considered, then said, "Oac, ku yrayt. Ehvuns sa uv yho secrybc." (Yes, go ahead. Inform me of any mishaps.)
"Oac cen." (Yes sir.) The intercom shut off.
"What was that about?" Yuna asked her uncle.
"We've developed some new technology that allows us to build smaller aircraft," Cid replied as they walked down the hall. "You may not have noticed, but building airships takes some technology, and in order to get technology we need to go to excavation sites. These Flyers will let us travel individually to the sites, rather than using the airship as a bus transport."
"Convenient," Tidus remarked.
"Yep!" Cid nodded with satisfaction. "It'll be our pride and joy when we get them in perfect working condition. Aside from the airship, of course."
"You mean to say they don't work right?" Wakka asked, alarmed.
"Course it don't," Cid growled. "That's why it's called a test-run. We don't use real pilots, just drones that don't feel a thing if the Flyer goes out of control."
Tidus gulped. "Man, I wouldn't want to be the unlucky guy that rides a malfunctioning Flyer. Guess it's a good thing no one around here is that naive."
"Oooh, those look neat!" Rikku exclaimed as she and Auron watched older Al Bhed men prepare a craft that looked like a metallic Zu.
"What isth it?" Auron asked with wide eyes. He had never seen things like those back home.
"I don't know," Rikku shrugged. "Let's go see!"
Auron followed the older girl as she led the way down winding staircases and catwalks. Eventually they stood on ground level, staring in awe at the enormous machina.
"Woow," Auron blinked. "It's biiig."
"C'mon," Rikku tugged his hand. "Let's take a look inside."
They clambered with difficulty onto the wing and tottered to the cockpit. The two examined the multitude of gauges and levers, feeling the smooth black leather of the single seat in the machina.
Giggling, Rikku slid onto the seat and grabbed a lever. "I'm a pilot!"
"I wanna be a piwot too!" Auron pouted.
"Alright, but no pushing anything," Rikku allowed Auron to slide in beside her. "You never know what's a missile and what's the seatbelts."
The two played for some time, guessing what each of the shiny buttons did and what the numbers meant.
In the control tower a few yards away, an Al Bhed checked the screen in front of him. The screen relayed the pressure on the seat of a Flyer, and found the pressure to be regulation standard. The drone had been put in place.
"Myihlrehk Vmoan 1, tacdehydeuh: Moonflow." (Launching Flyer 1, destination: Moonflow)
Auron and Rikku squealed as the glass cover slid into place, and the engine ignited. "What did you do!" Rikku demanded.
"I didn' do nothing," Auron cried, tears flowing. "Make it sthop!"
Before Rikku had a chance to reassure the boy, the Flyer shot into the air and headed for the Moonflow, clanking noisily and rocking dangerously as they screamed.
GASP! Cliffhanger! Also known as the spot where an author conveniently stops writing before the resolution is written. Haha. You'll just have to wait til I update again, which will be (hopefully) sometime before the 17th of February, as that is when I will lose reliable access to the Internet for the weekend. If not, then take heart in the knowledge that I will be writing muchos.