Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of "CSI:NY"-they belong to Anthony E. Zuiker and CBS

Author's Note: Much thanks to afrozenheart412 for conversation on this story. It's complete, just needs to be fine tuned. As always, like it, love it, hate it, drop me a review!

CHAPTER ELEVEN

"So why all this, Manda?" Danny asked as they moved into the building. Angell sent a family scrambling back into their unit as they headed for the stairwell. "How 'bout we start with an easy one-did Sonny put you up to this?"

"Do you know what it's like?" Amanda asked him. "To only get to see your brother for ten minutes at a time? To know that you're going to outlive your big brother?"

"Yeah, matter of fact, I do," Danny bit back. "At least your brother gets to talk back! Your brother put my brother in a fucking coma!"

Lindsay couldn't hear Danny. But she had an idea of what he must have said, because Amanda suddenly yelled, "It should have been you! You should be lying there like a vegetable, for leaving me all alone! You don't deserve what you have, Danny, you don't! You're not the fucking good guy everybody thinks you are!"

Lindsay twisted her wrist, hoping that the in her fury Amanda had made a mistake and left the knot loose. She should be so lucky. She could only watch the half-crazed woman with the gun who was standing between Lindsay and her baby and was coming unraveled.

"Sal should have killed those two Pelham bruisers that night!" Amanda was yelling. "But he didn't! He was so fucking drunk that they beat the hell out of him instead! You should have been there, Danny, you were the only person who gave a rat's ass about me besides my brother! But you weren't! Sonny told me you ran off, got the fuck out of there before the fight went down. And then you left me! You didn't even come to see how I was. I never heard from you again!" She started sobbing, which only made Lucy cry louder, and Amanda turned to the playpen. "Shut up!"

Danny, please hurry! Lindsay begged silently.

"So what about Sal?" Danny asked as they climbed the stairs. "What'd he do to deserve a bullet in his brain almost thirty years later?"

"Sonny wanted the little maggot dead for fucking up a business deal. He couldn't do it himself; and I volunteered. Payback for him not lifting a damn finger the night they tried to defend my honor. Sal Cuccione should have died years ago. I was too busy wallowing in self pity-I'd lost everything, I can't have kids, Danny, did you know that? Those Pelham boys fucked me for life."

Stella pulled open the 8th floor door, and Danny stepped onto the floor, keeping his voice low. Down the hall, he could hear a baby crying, and jerked a thumb in that direction. "And what about me, Manda?" he asked softly. "What did my wife and baby girl ever do to you?"

"You have everything I wanted, Danny. Everything I can't have. It shoulda been you and me, Danny, getting out together." Amanda stopped, dead center of the floor, so abruptly that it made Lindsay jerk in surprise. "It's not fair. It's not fair."

Just then, the door flew open. "You're right," Danny said as he stepped into the room. Lucy's tears subsided as she heard her father's voice, and Lindsay's stomach caught in her throat. Behind Danny, she could see Mac, Stella, Flack and Angell. "It's not fair. But this isn't going to fix anything. It's not gonna solve anything. Sonny's still gonna get a lethal injection, and you're still gonna be all alone. And I tried to see you, Manda, I did!" He stepped into the room, his gun trained on her. "Your goddamned brother always said you didn't want to see me!" Danny's heart was pounding. He was scared. Oh, God, was he scared. "But I know you, Manda. You shouldn't have had to suffer the way you did. Your brother screwed us both for life. He kept us under his thumb because that's where he wanted us, and believe me, I know how hard it is to get away from him." He took a step toward her cautiously. "But that asshole can't control you anymore, Manda. You're stronger than that piece of dirt."

"Don't you fucking talk about my brother like that!" Amanda turned, and trained her gun on Lindsay.

"Amanda-" Lindsay said, as Danny said, "Manda! Amanda, wait!"

Mac, from the hall: "Put the gun down!"

"You don't know how it feels to be me."

"Yes, I do!" Danny objected. "Jesus Christ, Manda, my brother's been in a goddamned coma. I know what it's like to walk into the room and have 'em be in a situation that you wish-" Tears stung his eyes. "That you wish you coulda prevented. That they're where they are for the rest of their lives because you couldn't save them." He shook his head as the room fell silent, save for Lucy's terrified whimpers in the background. "Manda, it's not over, baby. It's not. You can walk away from all this. Nobody else has gotta get hurt." He took a step forward again, and his eyes flew to his wife.

Lindsay wished she could pull her husband into her arms and whisper in his ear that it was going to be okay. She cursed the circumstances that put them in this situation. She'd never been so proud of her husband.

"Sonny wouldn't let me be there for you twenty years ago. Manda...please...let me help you today."

Amanda looked around the room. At the detectives who were staring her down, guns drawn, aimed at her. She was a fuck-up, God, just like Sonny said. You got yourself here Amanda, you put us both where we are now. She could almost hear his greasy voice in her head, echoing off her ears, rattling around the room. It's over, kid. It's over. You've screwed up big time. You ain't gettin' outta this. Even the great Saint Messer can't get you out of this one.

"It's over," Amanda Sassone repeated the words of a voice only she could hear.

She pulled the trigger.