Notes: This turned out to be more world-building than Percabeth. :-/ But it's really not something I feel comfortable creating a brand new story for, so here goes...

Survival Instincts

One, his name was Percy Jackson. Or so they told him, anyway. He decided to go along with it because it was simpler that way.

Two, he owned a retractable sword with a three-foot blade. He could say with certainty that it was his, because it kept coming back into his pocket if he dropped it. Unless it was a sword with stalker tendencies, which would be weird even for his life.

Three, he could talk to fish. He wasn't sure about this one, and he tried not to think about it too much. He could also talk to horses, but apparently that was pretty common and not weird at all. Go figure.

Four, his skin was some sort of impregnable armor. This was really weird, even for a guy living in a military camp run by talking wolves.

Five, the alpha talking wolf had told him that goddess or no goddess, he had to prove himself to her pups before she'd even considered letting him fight beside her Legion. Which was why he was somewhere, covered in muck and crouched in the shadow of a large rock absolutely infested with ants.

He was so glad he couldn't feel them biting him.

"And how are you holding up?"

Hazel, who was also covered in muck but looked sexy as hell in spite of it, grinned at him. Probably to drive in the fact that she'd snuck upto him without him noticing and could have very well killed him by now. Or at least that she could have done it if he hadn't had natural full-body armor.

"Is it always this boring?" he wondered.

"It's a stakeout," Hazel said, kneeling down beside him, "So yes."

"Why do you people even do this, anyway?"

"We," Hazel corrected, "do this to know what our enemies are planning, how they move and mobilize and what potential weaknesses they have."

He gave her an extremely skeptical look.

"It's combat intelligence 101, Superman," she told him, "All the advantage you can get."

"Isn't there an easier way?"

"What, like waiting in your tent while until divine forces tell you what's going to happen and what you have to do?"

Percy frowned, "Actually, that sounds-"

"It was sarcasm, Jackson. Please tell me you didn't think I was serious."

There was silence for a few minutes as Percy tried to remember why he was suddenly thinking about rhymes.

"So," he said, giving up, "Found anything?"

"Nothing specific," Hazel said, "There's something major going on, like Titan Uprising major, but no one seems to know the details, and the stories are getting really weird. Bronze dragon parts falling from the sky and all that."

"Weird," Percy agreed.

"Yeah. And we don't know where Jason is," Hazel said, "We need him. Dakota and Reyna are going to kill each other in a month if he doesn't get his ass back to Camp."

"Oh yeah. That was one mean fire."

"And it'll only get worse. I think Dakota's researching lightning magic."

Cue synchronized shuddering. Some things were just plain terrifying to bear thinking about.

"I'm glad you're around," Hazel said, moving closer, "We could use a human fire extinguisher at this point. And actually, I'm glad you're around anyway."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, every guy in Camp is either does not know how to have fun or is obnoxious. You're refreshing, Percy, and I'm not the only one with that opinion. Getting some alone time with you took a lot of effort."

Percy blinked, "What?"

She grinned at him and moved her head closer, and his heartbeat sped up a little. Since he'd been forced to hang out with the Tribunes, Hazel had been the one person he could actually talk to without getting disdainful sniffs and resentful glares every two minutes. And she was pretty, like really pretty-

Her lips met his just as his instincts screamed at him. Percy jerked away and scanned the shadows.

"What's wrong?" Hazel asked, hand moving to her gladius. They had learned to trust Percy's instincts, (no questions asked) by now.

"I-" The feeling was gone just as suddenly as it had appeared, "I thought I- False alarm, I think."

For a moment there, Hazel looked like she might advocate a quick getaway/area search, but then she shrugged and leaned over to kiss him again.

She felt his lips meet hers, accompanied by a surge of ohmygodshe'shot and, inexplicably, the feeling that there was something very, very wrong with her lips. They should have been softer, but a little less fuller-

And then panic surged through him again and he leapt back from her, smacking his head loudly on the rock.

"Percy, what's wrong with you?" Hazel, predictably enough, sounded a little peeved.

"I can't," he gasped out, his mouth working without interference from his brain, "She'll kill me."

"What?"

"Annabeth will kill me. No wait- she'll castrate me and then she'll kill me."

For a moment, there was almost-complete silence, interrupted only by the sound of someone panting heavily.

"Who," Hazel enunciated, "Is Annabeth."

His mouth, which wasn't on autopilot anymore, declined to help.

"I- don't know?" He said, a little weakly.

"Well, whoever she is, you've managed to lead those laistrygonians to us," Hazel said, pointing somewhere behind his head, "Congratulations."

Percy drew Riptide and turned around to fight two cannibal giants, while Hazel dismembered a third with a murderous look on her face, very deliberately not looking at him unless she absolutely had to.

And therefore, in conclusion, this amnesia thing was a giant pain in the butt.