A/N: {[Please excuse my inability to write good violence and gore scenes. XD]}

Nightfall had just begun to set in, and along with it, numbing coldness.

The troops had stopped their march prior to and had begun to set up camp; Roy would have normally ordered to find some kind of brush to conceal their location, but seeing as they were in a desert, that idea was dropped. Some were setting up the tents, some were getting out the food, and others were testing their luck with a fire.

Ed wrapped his arms around himself as he shivered, trying to shield himself from the cold breeze. Despite how hot it was before, and how furious he rubbed his palms on his arms, he just could not warm up. He was beginning to get irritated. His sweat from earlier that day was starting to freeze over, and his uniform that had once started out crisp then moist, was now beginning to stiffen uncomfortably against his body. Just another reason to add to the list of why Edward hated the desert.

He suddenly stiffined, his face contorting in pre-sneeze.

"A…ah….ACHOO!" Ed sniffed, wiping his nose along his sleeve.

"You okay there kid?" Breda asked, lifting his head from his work.

"Yeah. Just freezing my ass off, that's all. No big deal, really." Ed sarcastically responded.

"Oh Edward! If it is warmth you seek, it is warmth I shall give you! Come, boy! I'll protect you from nature's fury!" Armstrong stepped forward, his shirt magically dissolving from his body, exposing his over-toned pecks and biceps.

"N-no thank you, Major. I 'm goo-!" Edward tried to reason, his hands flailing in front of him to try and stop the inevitable. But he was abruptly interrupted by the Major's strong arms pressing him to his chest.

"Nonsense, Edward! Children need the guidance and protection of adults!"

"M-major! Stop! I cant…..b-breathe!" Edward pushed against the major's biceps, attempting to put some distance between them and struggle to get air in his lungs.

Armstrong continued his deadly hug, spouting nonsense of how he would always be there for Edward if needed. Everyone around them gathered and laughed heartily. Roy suddenly held up his hand.

"SShh….everyone….do you hear that?" All the men quieted and Armstrong loosened his grip, dropping Edward to the ground, who was left gasping for air.

"I don't hear anything, boss." Havoc replied.

"Shhh…. there it is again..."

All eyes began searching around, listening for the noise Roy had assured was there. But all they could see was the blackness and the soft orange hue from the campfires. Ed looked to his left, and in the distance, saw a soft glow.

"Hey…what's that?" he asked, squinting his eyes to get a better look.

Everyone looked in the direction he was pointing at. Soon screams and yells could be heard, and finally gun shots. They're hearts stopped; Xingese Soldiers.

"Men! Get you're weapons! Alchemists! Ready yourselves!" Roy ordered, watching as his men scrambled to gather their belongings.

But it was too late. The soldiers from Xing had arrived, and were shooting at everyone they could. Alkahestry and Alchemy alike were performed, blue lights shooting from every direction. Roy cursed under his breath, swiftly slipping on his nylon gloves and snapping towards the opposing army. Flames were sent flying through the crisp cold air, killing some, and offering a soothing warmth to those not in it's path. Armstrong had placed his iron fists on, smashing them into the ground to send hardened projectiles soaring through the air. Havoc, Breda, and Fuery and quickly scattered to retrieve their rifles and were now hidden behind a stack of wooden crates, loading and engaging them. People without their weapons in hand began fist fighting.

But in that, the Xingese had the advantage. Stealthy movement and strong, lean bodies, they destroyed almost half of the Amestrian fleet. Edward fought with his hands and feet, beating up a few of the enemy. He ran full speed, using the same stealth and agility as the Xingese as he clapped his hands together and ran it across the top of his right arm. He looked down, surprised when he didn't see the familiar blue light and shape-shifting of automail.

Oh right. Real arm now.

Damn, that was a really bad habit he had.

Roy glanced over to him, seeing his fighting. "Fullmetal! Use your gun!"

"No!" Ed shouted back after back kicking a soldier in the head.

"Yes, Fullmetal! Use it now!"

Ed still fought back, refusing to use that weapon of murder. If he didn't need to, he wouldn't.

"What is he thinking?" Roy muttered under his breath, swiftly turning to flame down a couple of Xingese men who rushed after him.

Suddenly, Edward was surrounded by men, swords held in their hands, stained with blood. I can take 'em out. Ed thought, smirking to himself. He had fought even worse opponents before. These guys were nothing compared to the homunculi.

He punched, he kicked, he head butted. He was doing good. Edward jumped up, pounding his foot into the last Xingese man who opposed him. He dropped to the ground, clapping his hands in self-victory. "There that should do it."

He heard Havoc scream from one end and turned to help him, but suddenly stopped. A Xingese soldier, blood dripping down a wound in his head, stepped forward, a gun held tightly in his hand.

Ed froze, staring straight into the barrel of the gun, the stomach-twisting feeling he felt as he knew what was to come. Roy saw the boy halt, his eyes widening as he yelled,

"Ed! Now!"

Suddenly everything went blank.

The only thing Ed could remember was grabbing his gun, hearing and feeling the trigger go off, then the soldier before him dropping to the ground. Blood, flesh, and pink brain matter exploded from the wound in his head, some splatting against Edward's face. He could only stare wide eyed, hands shaking. Blood poured onto the sand, turning it into a dark crimson. The soldier had died with his eyes still open, staring deep into Edward's soul.

Ed dropped the gun, falling to his knees as his arms wrapped around his stomach. His shoulders and back convulsed violently, as he retched and heaved, his last meal finally thrown onto the sand. He sat back, crying out and holding his head in fear without bothering to wipe his mouth.

"…stop….Stop…Stop Stop Stop!" He yelled, burying his face between his legs.

Finally, as quick as they came, the Xingese soldiers left, their first attack successful. Dust was thrown in to the air as the rode out, coating the Amestrians with sand and blood.

*cough cough* "Is everyone all right?" Roy called out into the air.

Moans and cries were the only response he recieved. The dust cleared as Roy wiped his eyes on the end of his sleeve, getting a better look at his surrounding. Bodies, wounded and dead, were littering the ground. They were everywhere. To his right was a man in blue uniform, his brain boiled to nothing but slosh as it seeped out his eyes and ears. Another man, his arms chopped off and scattered around him, lay to his left. The same, gruesome scene was everywhere he looked. Roy's face dropped. They had lost the first battle of the war.

"Sir!" he heard Riza call out to him.

He staggered toward her, his leg wounded from a stray bullet. She was bent down, a worried look in her eyes as she looked at a seated Edward. Is he hurt? Roy began to panic. He finally reached her side, taking in that she had cuts on her arms and a bullet in her thigh.

"What's wrong? Is he alright?" Roy stopped, hearing Edward's faint voice crying out through the other moans of the men.

"…stop….stop it now….please…"

He bent down, placing a bloodied hand on Ed's trembling shoulder. "Fullmetal."

"…stop…no more…"

"Fullmetal!"

"enough…"

"EDWARD!"

Roy grabbed the collar of his shirt, forcibly raising Ed's head up to look at him. Tears, blood, and what he later noticed was nauseation and chunks of brain matter, dripped freely down the boy's face. He winced slightly at the sight.

"Get a grip, Fullmetal!" Roy yelled, remaining to keep his cool.

"...I….I killed him…" Edward responded, looking down to the dead corpse before him.

His eyes widened in fear, as he pushed Roy away and dropped to his knees, his back writhing as he failed to throw up once more. Riza bent down, trying to quickly brush off whatever pieces of flesh had clung to Ed without him noticing.

"This is war, Edward! Did you really expect to go through with this without having to kill someone first?"

Edward coughed, not bothering to look up from his daze.

"The way you fought today, you're never gonna last! If you can't handle being in the battle field, go home! We don't have time to hold your hand and calm you down every time you get scared!" Roy yelled angrily, burrowing straight into his mind so that he could feel Roy's words in his soul.

Edward looked down at his hands, stained with the blood of the Xingese soldier. "I…I-I…"

"Boss, calm down. It's his first time. You're the one that dragged him into this the first place." Havoc intervened, holding his left arm as blood seeped through his fingers.

"I don't care. If he couldn't handle it, he should have just said something before-hand." Roy scoffed under his breath.

He stood up and turned away, leaving to tend to his wounded soldiers. Riza rubbed Ed's back once more, before she, too, stood up to help anyone injured.

Ed couldn't take it. He had seen blood before, but never in such large quantities. He had always lucidly dreamed that he would forever stay with Alphonse. That he would go through life happy. That he would never have to kill. That dream was traumatizing-ly destroyed tonight. He looked once more to the soldier he had murdered, trying his hardest to hold back the feeling of nausea that swept over him once more, then stood up, wiping his tears.

Mustang was right. He had to get a grip or he would never make it out there. He would never return to Al or Winry.

Ed staggered away, leaving behind the pain of murder which would slowly fade to numbness

Aaaahhhhh I hate how this turned out! Someone help me PLEASE! I'm terrible at action and gore scenes! anyway, please Rate and Review! happy happy happy...