So here is the second chapter. And in this one, there is actual dialogue, and all that good stuff! Like I said, I'm not entirely confident that I have portrayed these two accurately, so I would love you're critiques. Who knows? Maybe I'll actually have the patience to rewrite. That would definitely be a good thing for me to learn how to do. Thanks for reading!
Julian sunk into his brown leather armchair with a sigh of relief, eyes still damp, and throat still knotted from the song he had just sung. He felt completely overwhelmed by life in general. The stress of schoolwork combined with the constant fear of his stalker, and the fact that he hadn't slept for more than an hour at once for the past two weeks made every day far too long. He rested his elbows on his knees and pressed his closed eyes against his palms until small stars appeared in the blackness of his eyelids. A knock on his door made him jump, his whole body going tense, and his lungs refusing to draw in air.
"Jules…?" He sighed with relief as a familiar voice sounded through his door, reprimanding himself for being so jumpy. Part of him lit up at the sound of that voice, but another, more prominent part of him groaned and muttered a curse under his breath, making no move to answer. "Julian, I know you're in there. Open the door!" This was accompanied by an impatient pounding on thick wood, as Logan's voice grew sharper. Julian stood slowly, in no hurry to let the other boy in. He unlocked the door, pulled back the deadbolt, and turned the doorknob, only opening the door part of the way.
"What do you want?"
"Jesus. Nice to see you too," Logan answered sarcastically. Julian didn't respond. "Would you let me in? Or is that too much to ask of your royal highness?" Julian glared at him, swinging the door open and stepping aside to let his friend in. Logan stood in front of him for a moment, studying him, as though trying to calculate what to say next. "May I sit down?" he asked in an overly patient, falsely polite voice. Julian could tell he was trying to stay calm, but from the brightness in his eyes, he could see that the boy wasn't medicated.
"Sure. Whatever." The actor rolled his eyes, gesturing vaguely with one hand towards the sitting area of his room, while turning to close the door. While Logan's back was turned, he quickly relocked it and drew the deadbolt back across it, as had become his habit as of late. He walked over to the armchair he had been sitting in earlier, trying desperately to look nonchalant and cold, but he was too tired to make his act entirely convincing. As he sat down Logan began studying him again. Julian tried to stare coolly back at him, but if he looked into those pale green eyes for too long he knew from experience he would get lost in them, so he jerked his eyes away, looking pointedly at his watch, though not registering the time, and speaking again. "Want to tell me why you're here?" Logan was silent for another moment before answering.
"What's going on with you?
"What's that supposed to mean?" Julian asked defensively.
"You're barely eating, and from the looks of you, barely sleeping too, when you aren't in classes you're up here, literally locked in your room, you don't really talk to Derek much, and you're completely avoiding me. So what's wrong?" Julian laughed coldly.
"There doesn't need to be something wrong for me to be avoiding you, Wright." He was purposefully avoiding the question, because all his concentration was being used to force himself from overreacting to the fact that Logan had actually cared enough to ask.
"That's bullshit and you know it. Maybe we fight a lot, but we're still friends and I know you well enough to know that something's up. So tell me what it is," Logan demanded. Julian could see his eyes darken as he grew more impatient.
"Nothing's up. But even if something was, why bother pretending you care?"
"Because I fucking do, Larson! And I'm not leaving this fucking room until you tell me what's going on, so I'd stop playing the fucking diva and start talking if I were you." Julian stared at him silently for a minute before answering.
"Fine, but I'm not saying a word until you calm yourself down. I thought you said you were gonna start taking your meds again." Logan glowered at him. Julian couldn't help but notice how insanely beautiful he was when he was angry.
"I do take them. But I can't be on them full time. You know what they do to me. I can't spend my whole life not feeling." Julian nodded, but didn't answer, waiting for Logan's eyes to lighten again, and waiting for his own heart to stop racing at the thought of Logan caring about him. After a few moments of silence, Julian reached into his pocket for his phone, keeping his eyes trained on the good-looking boy in front of him. He glanced down for a second to select the twitter icon and scroll through the tweets from his fans, until he found the block of tweets, all from the same person, that he was looking for. He tossed his phone lightly to Logan, who caught it easily, a look of confusion on his face. Julian watched expressionlessly as the blonde boy scanned the screen of his phone, his green eyes widening. Logan looked up at his friend in shock. "Holy SHIT! What the fuck Julian? Why the hell would you not tell someone about this?" he demanded.
"Derek knows," Julian replied in a voice devoid of emotion, "I was going to leave for good after the Valentine's Day fair, but when I opened the door there was blood and rose petals on the front step. And-" his voice broke, but he forced himself to continue, "-and there was a mutilated picture of… of me." Logan stared at him, clearly terrified.
"Oh my God, Jules. Oh my fucking God…" his voice trailed off as he tried to process the information. But suddenly he looked up again. "Wait. You were going to leave for good? Without even telling me?" Julian gaped at him. That was what he was worrying about? "Why?" Julian forced himself to breathe as he tried to figure out how to answer the question. He dropped his head into his hands thinking of the song he had just sung, and could still taste in his mouth. He was so tired of all of this. The stress, the fear, the hiding. It was all too much. Tomorrow he would leave, screw the consequences. If his stalker actually came after him, he would deal with that then, and if whoever it was killed him, well, at least he'd be out of this damn school. Tonight he was going to tell Logan the truth, because he couldn't stand pretending any more. He looked up.
"Maybe I was tired of all this. Of watching you fall head over heels for all those other guys and never give me a second glance. Of living for our fights, because at least then you looked at me with half of the passion you look at Kurt with. Of waiting for that minute when you would look at me and actually like what you saw, but knowing it would never happen. Of all this fucking hiding." Julian stood up as he spoke, walking to the door, unlocking it, and holding it open for Logan. He heard the other boy's shoes walking across his wood floor, towards the door, walking away. But Logan stopped, placing a hand on his shoulder. Despite himself, Julian's heart fluttered at the contact.
"Jules, are you saying what I think you're saying?"
"Probably," Julian answered, his eyes resting firmly on the floor. Logan was silent, and Julian waited for him to walk away. But he didn't, and after a few moments, he spoke.
"Can you give me some time to figure this out? Can you promise me you won't run away again?" Part of him wanted to say yes, that he would give Logan all the time in the world, but Julian shook his head slowly, still not looking at the other boy. "Jules… Jules look at me." Unwillingly Julian looked up at Logan, brown eyes meeting green, his stomach jumping to his throat as he saw the look of confusion on his friend's face. "Don't leave. It's not safe."
"You think I don't know that? I don't give a shit, and you don't either."
"That's not true. You know damn well that give a whole lot more than a shit." Julian shook his head again, and Logan's expression became desperate. "Julian… Please. I can't loose you. There aren't many people who would put up with an idiot like me…" His voice was different now, that note of pleading was so rare that it caught Julian off guard and he found himself nodding his head.
"Fine. I'll stay. But you should go now." He nodded towards the door. The look of relief on Logan's face was so evident, that Julian's heart began to pound again, realizing how much he meant to the other boy. It almost made it worth the sacrifice of staying, though even now he was regretting making that promise.
"Right." Logan started to walk away, but then turned around. "Do you have the windows locked?" Julian nodded. "Are you going to be okay in here by yourself? Derek and I could sleep in here with you or you could come into our room…" The brunette shook his head. There was a knot the size of a tennis ball in the back of his throat that prevented him from answering. "You sure? Okay, well, call if you need anything…" Logan trailed off, and turned to leave again.
"Lo?" It hurt to speak and his voice threatened to crack on every syllable, but he had to say something. "Goodnight." Logan smiled genuinely, a rare occurrence around Julian.
"Goodnight, bitch." Julian smiled back weakly and closed the door behind his friend, locking it and drawing the dead bolt across it. He walked to each window in his room, checking that it was locked, and then slowly took off his uniform, carefully folding it over the back of a chair, and pulled on his plaid pajama pants and a baggy Something Damaged t-shirt. He checked the door and all the windows again before crawling into bed, and only then did he allow himself to cry. It started as only tears but before long his whole body was shaking with sobs. He couldn't quite explain why he was crying, there was just too much to process, and too much to worry about. He had a stalker who threatened to kill him, he had told the boy he loved that he loved him, and then promised not to run away as he had planned, and to top it all off, he was terrified that he would fall behind in school because he was so tired from not getting enough sleep, that his brain could hardly function in class. But, Logan hadn't jut walked away. He had said that he cared about him, and asked for time to "figure this out." That had to be a good sign. As Julian's tears dried, he fell asleep and almost slept soundly for the first time in ages.