Author's Note: Hang on; the roller coaster is about to go into that deep valley.
Chapter 13 – Love Letters
As Dave drove by Cait's place that Saturday after returning from the case, he noticed the boys were mowing the yard. That would give him the opportunity to deliver Hotch's letter without the boys around. Plus he had the excuse to stop, since he had to pick up Mudgie. Yet, when he pulled in next to the garage, the boys immediately pounced on him.
"Uncle Dave, what is going with mom and Aaron?" Matt almost demanded.
"Guys, I don't know. I tried to talk to Aaron and he told me to butt out. Your mom pretty much said the same thing."
"Uncle Dave, this isn't right," Mike added.
"Listen to me boys. You just have to be there for your mom and be supportive. She's going through a tough time. And you have to trust they will work it out."
"Uncle Dave, there's something big going on," Matt said. "Mom is quieter than usual. And she's not eating that much." Dave marveled how much Matt was growing before his eyes. He had always tried to be the "man" of house, but clearly he was taking that role more seriously since Hotch wasn't around. But his observation also troubled Dave.
"Guys, I'll go in and talk to her. You keep working on the lawn. Knowing that you're taking care of that and helping her out will mean a lot."
The boys agreed and went back to the yard. Dave walked through the garage and entered the door. "Cait, where are you?"
"I'm right her," she answered. Of course she would be in her kitchen, Dave thought. It was her haven and cooking or baking was her catharsis.
"What are you making? It smells wonderful."
"Monster cookies; the boys love them," she said, yet she didn't look at Dave.
"Cait, look at me," Dave said. When she turned around, he saw a different woman. This was clearly affecting her more than she was letting on to him. Dave noticed she clearly had already lost some weight. While Cait kept herself in athletic shape, she was looking almost thin. He walked over and simply pulled her into a hug. She laid her head on his shoulder. "How have you been sleeping?" he asked as he rubbed her back. It was killing him to see her like this.
"Alright," she simply answered. Dave pulled back and looked her in the eye.
"Cait, please I'm here for you but don't lie to me."
"I told you."
"The boys are worried. Matt is noticing things."
"I know." The timer went off on the oven and Cait reached for the hot pad, opened the door and pulled out the cookie sheet. She went to reach for the next sheet she had ready and Dave stopped her.
"Don't," he simply said. As Cait looked at him, he pulled an envelope out of his inside suit coat pocket and handed it to her. "This is for you. Go someplace and read it. I'll keep an eye on the boys." She took the envelope and left the kitchen.
When Cait came back, Dave could see she had been crying and yet she had a smile on her face. "You know Aaron as well as I do. But did you ever think he could write a beautiful love letter?"
Dave smiled. "Probably not; but I know how much he loves you."
"Can you get one back to him?"
Dave grabbed her hand and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I've already told him I'll be postman for the two of you. Make sure I get some of those cookies. I share with my friends."
Dear Cait,
God, I miss you. Your gentle touch, your smell; everything about you. Sometimes I feel like I can hardly breathe. You are the air that sustains me.
I'm sure Dave is keeping you informed about my recovery. While I'm getting stronger every day, the one thing I need to make it complete can't be with me. The doctor I need most is unavailable.
I'm sorry – I'm horrible at this. It's just knowing you're so close and yet so very far away. And I miss my boys; all of them. Sam stopped by yesterday. Jack and Haley are settled in. He says they are adjusting and coping. I guess I should take a cue from them and learn to cope as well. But it's hard. I love you so much. And sitting in this apartment day after day isn't helping. I promise I'll be better when I get back to work.
Cait, we're going to get through this. And when we're old and gray, sitting in our rockers on the porch, we'll look back at this time and realize it made our love that much stronger. I do want to spend the rest of my life with you. This time has made me realize that. I need you in my life. I never thought I would be blessed to find such an amazing woman. You make my life complete. And our three sons are icing on the cake. I love them all as much as I love you. I have no words to tell you how much you truly mean to me. Please use them. I need to hear from you. You are my heart, and you have my soul and every fiber of my being.
Hug the boys for me and be strong sweetheart. We will be together soon.
All my love,
Aaron
(TB)
My darling Aaron,
I miss you too. The days seem to drag by and the nights are so lonely. The first night I slept on your side of the bed. I could smell you there. I cried when I finally had to wash the sheets.
Dave has been my rock. And he reminded me that I need to lean on my faith. That is what is getting me through, Aaron. I trust God that we will be together and it will be soon. And I pray for Jack and Haley as well. Please find that strength, my love.
I want to grow old with you as well. And you're right. This is only going to make our love for each other stronger and more powerful. You are my heart. And you will have my heart forever.
The boys miss you as well. However, they have been very supportive. I'm sure they are looking forward to the day when you will be back in our lives. I trust, with all my heart, that will happen soon.
Until then, please get better and be safe. I look forward to the day when you can hold me in your arms. Nothing, or no one, can keep us apart. You are my soul mate.
All my love to you,
Cait
(TB)
The days turned into weeks and soon, the weeks turned into a month. Aaron had returned to the BAU and was more intense than usual as Dave expected. And Cait seemed to be doing better once she and Aaron were able to communicate with each other. To that extent, Dave was glad to postman. He knew the letters that he couriered was keeping Cait and Hotch strong. It also gave him the opportunity to keep an eye on both of them. And between cases, he tried his best to get the boys out to give Cait some space. Whether it was dinner or over to his townhouse to shoot pool, he knew they needed the time as well.
And yet, more months passed, until one afternoon when Cait was driving home from Georgetown. Her cell rang and she answered it.
"Cait, its Dave. Something has happened."
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