Hello, comrades. We bring to you the update early because we may be too busy to update for some time, da?

Sorry if we don't update soon, but school gets in the way, aru!

Ah, thank you for all the reviews, favorites, and the like, mes chéris! They are absolutely delightful.

I agree, though why you lot would even review this piece of rubbish is beyond me.

Ja, ja, some reviews are good, but why do so many people enjoy watching me suffer? And they call me the sadist...

Eto, can we skip this next part? There are a lot of awkward moments in this one.

Ha ha, cool, all the more reason to read it! And I know you guys will keep reviewing, right? Right!

Enjoy, ve~!

America stopped and looked at Japan. "What?"

Japan blushed a little, and answered quietly, "Et, eto, I said that, eto, you are awesome."

America, for once, was struck. This was probably the first time that anyone had ever reciprocated his patriotism. Of course, America knew that they all secretly loved the kick-ass hero of the universe, but none of the other nations ever showed it before. What did Japan mean by it? "Japan…"

"Aru!" China shouted. "What is wrong with you, Japan?"

"How can you say such a thing!" The drunken England was furious, but then a figurative cloud hung over his head and he moped in relative silence. "Wanker, wanker, wanker…"

America adjusted his glasses and stared blankly at Japan. Slowly, a small smile grew on his face, until it burgeoned into a laugh. "Ha ha! Of course, I am awesome." America put his hands on his hips and made a pose. But then he was quiet for a few seconds. "…So, uh, I, uh, have to go and get a few things from the camp. Be right back!" America gave everyone a playful salute and ran away.

"W-What the hell was all that? Blooming, barmy little…" England gloomily went over to get a refill of beer, and dropped the two guns he was holding by the beer cart.

"Ah, cheer up, mon cher." France poured the drink for him. "You know I still think highly of you…" France rudely stifled a laugh.

"Arsehole!" England tried to choke France but Germany kicked England's feet and tripped him. He fell callously onto the dirt, and looked up in confusion. "Whoa, what was that…?"

"You are drunk again, England." Germany answered lazily. "How can you not have a tolerance of alcohol at your age?"

England wasn't even listening to him. "How dare someone praise America! It is cruel and unjust!"

"Europeans are so immature, aru!" China picked up the other two guns on the field. "But at least we don't have to reenact anything until America returns-"

"I'm back!" America shouted suddenly, and out of nowhere plopped a large wheat-colored bag the size of a person down on the Allies' side of the field.

Russia came over to see. "What is that, comrade?"

"Hey, no peeking!" America stood defensively in front of it. "Stay away, commie!"

Russia smiled. "Every time you say that, I think you refer to China."

"W-What?" China heard Russia say his name out of context and did not like it. "What? What's g-going on over there? Is America doing the Manhattan Project again?"

"No! I'm doing nothing! No one is allowed to look into my super secret bag of unknown awesomeness!" America, however, took the privilege of stuffing his own head into his bag, while making sure that Russia could not see into it. "Who knows what happens next?"

"America-kun, what are you…? Eto, eto, Germany-kun invaded Egypt, but-"

"Brazil declared war on the Axis, aru!"

"I laid siege to Stalingrad, though-"

"Wait, who said that?" America took his head out of his mystery bag. "Was it you, Germany? Was it?"

Germany scowled flatly. "Ja, but I-"

"You're awfully retarded for a German. Didn't you already invade the Soviet Union?"

"Idiot, invasions do not happen overnight! The Battle of Stalingrad alone lasted more than six months!"

America laughed it off. "Okay, if you say so. We're going to do that!" America gently kicked Russia to get him to move. "Go get captures by the Nazis, Soviets!"

Even though the evil flicker in Russia's eye haunted the field, the entertained Russian obeyed and went over to the Axis powers.

China shuddered and surreptitiously left the Axis' side to return to the Allies' side. England was too hammered to get up.

Russia happily watched China leave. "China behaves strangely." Then he looked at Germany, and therefore, Italy. "You lay siege to Stalingrad now, comrade?"

Germany groaned. "Gott, America, forcing me to… I did not even keep Stalingrad for very long..."

Actually, the loss of Stalingrad really meant the end of the war for Germany, and it had been an awful struggle. The city center changed hands thirteen times, and by the end of the battle the city was mostly reduced to rubble. For a while, the Germans controlled most of the land, but they were not prepared to endure a long-term siege and the remaining German troops in Stalingrad surrendered in early 1943.

Germany just wanted this to all be over.

Italy abruptly yawned and stretched his arms up. His sleepy brown eyes fluttered, and when they caught sight of Germany, they gleamed with drowsy delight. "Hi, Germany, ve~!"

Germany started. Oh, damn, that was cute. The light warmth that filled Germany whenever Italy shined all of his goodness onto him always made Germany forget his troubles, even if it was just for a moment.

"Hm." Germany strained his voice to sound particularly annoyed and not at all swooning. "G-Guten Morgen…"

Strangely, Russia smiled admirably at the exchanged looks between Germany and Italy. But then Russia stared at France and said, "Hello, comrade."

"W-Welcome to the A-Axis powers, Russia." France did not make any attempts to offer Russia beer, and it took all the strength in his body not to hide beneath the beer cart. "D-Do not hurt me, please? And, try not to step on my friend there."

Russia looked down and moved off of England.

England let out a string of, "Wanker, wanker, wanker, wanker, hic, wanker, wanker…"

America waved his remaining Ally over. "Hey, China, what happens next in the war?"

China did not bother to get a look into the large bag. He really did not care what America was hiding in there, honest! "You held a conference at Casablanca in Morocco, with England, aru."

"Ha ha! Casablanca is a movie, not a place. What really happened?"

China glowered. "You are an ass!"

Japan, who was still standing idle and confused in the middle of the field, finally worked up the courage to meander toward the Allies. Japan did not understand what America was doing, which seemed to be a response to Japan's praise, but he wanted to ascertain for certain that it was not atomic weapons. "T-The Battle of Midway happened around this time, America-kun."

But when Japan came close, America deliberately sat on his bag and pretended it wasn't there. "Huh? What's Midway?"

Japan was too embarrassed to answer, for a few reasons. What had come over America?

"That was when you started winning the Pacific War, aru." China replied easily. "You also captured Guadalcanal. By then, the Battle of Stalingrad was over. So, Russia should not be with the Axis, aru…"

America shrugged. "Meh. Let Russia hang out with the Axis guys a little longer. What else was going on?"

Japan nervously advised, "I, eto, I had a new military dictator boss. Russia-kun attacked Sweden-kun and Finland-kun."

"I believe Germany invaded Hungary, aru." China let himself take a few stray looks at what America was sitting on.

"Is that all? Come on, that is all so mind-blowingly lame!" America moaned. "Come on, Japan, there must have been something going on with the Axis!"

Japan looked behind him, to his old war-time friends. He noticed that Italy was waking up. With a pit in his stomach, Japan said softly, "This was a bad time for us. Several Axis troops surrendered in the Soviet Union and North Africa. America-kun and England-kun began invading Italy-"

"What? Awesome! Fuck yeah!" America stood on top of his bag. "Everyone, stop everything! And since none of you are doing anything at all, that should be easy! We've finally gotten to the part where the Allies start beating up the Axis! Oh, yeah!"

Confused and conflicted as a result of America's behavior, a stoic Japan went back to his Axis. He said to Germany, "I am sorry."

Germany did not understand yet why.

"So, listen up, less important countries!" America shouted irrelevantly. "Germany, Italy, go meet England in the middle of the field, okay! And grab those guns!"

"What about, hic, you, you bloody yank?" England's voice cracked at the end, and he hated it.

"Me? I'm busy! Go, go, go!" America commanded with a great smile.

England swore colorfully and incomprehensibly. Russia helped him stand, but England did not show any gratitude and stumbled angrily to the field.

Germany tapped Italy. "Get up."

"But I'm still sleepy, ve~! Let's sleep some more!" Italy reached around Germany's waist. "Please, sleep with me, Germany~!"

Germany was so embarrassed by that unfortunate choice of words that he kicked Italy off of him. "N-Nein! W-We have w-work to do."

"Ow, okay…" Italy whined, but he never was very persistent. He stood up, waved goodbye to France and Russia, and meandered to greet England. "Ciao~!

Germany uneasily combed his hair back with his fingers and grabbed the paintball guns. He tossed one to Italy and England each. Both nations failed to catch them, and scrambled to pick them up.

America laughed. "Ha ha, you all suck! All right, guys, this is it! The Allies are totally invading Italy now! Italian Campaign, 1943!"

Germany froze, except for a noticeable spasm in his shoulders and a stutter. "N-N-Nein!"

Italy jumped gleefully, clapping his hands several times in delight. "Yay! The Allies are coming over! Well, they come to my brother Romano and he surrenders to America and England and Romano tries to capture me but I run away and Germany saves me and I stay friends with Germany and Japan, ve~!"

That was not how it happened.

No matter how hard Germany tried to prepare Italy for the invasion, it made no difference. When the Allies invaded through the land of Southern Italy, the Italian Fascist government was overthrown and captured. The new Italian government surrendered to the Allies without putting up a fight at all. Romano welcomed the British and the Americans as liberators, and quickly declared war on Germany.

In Northern Italy, the German army invaded. They entered Rome and freed the old Fascist government so that the north of Italy would remain an Axis power. In reality, the old Fascist government was subject entirely to the whims of the Germans, and so Northern Italy became a puppet state of the Third Reich.

Essentially, Italy was invaded by both the Allies and the Axis, and was split between them.

Japan's blank expression almost became sad. "This is cruel…."

"This is hilarious, love." France retorted. "If anything, this is not cruel enough. Maybe I should intervene?"

"China looks lonely." Russia mused. "He should not be alone with America."

"Huh? T-That is cute, I guess." France chuckled uncertainly. "I-I do not suppose, you would appreciate having some help with China?"

Russia's sudden pervasive darkness made Japan flinch backward.

"Ç-ça fait r-rien!" France hid behind the keg of beer. "Never mind…"

"Da?" Russia asked innocently. "Oh, well. It is easier for the mare when the woman gets off the cart."

"Oh?"

The idle Axis powers were confused and quiet after that.

"T-This is absolutely unacceptable!" Germany stood defensively in front of Italy. "I refuse to allow this reenactment to take place-"

The sound of a buzzing power saw impolitely interrupted the German. It came from inside of America's bag. Evidently, he was building something in there, and his flashing eyes and wide grin revealed his project to be of colossal importance.

England cradled his head in his arms and cried out, "Bloody hell, the noise!"

Germany nearly exploded in anger. "S-Shut that off!"

America did not stop, so China tapped his shoulder and yelled over the cry of the saw. "America, what are you doing in there? If you aren't going to watch, then why should they reenact anything, aru!"

"But I am watching! And this is funny!" America laughed. The screech of the unseen saw died and America pulled his hands out of his large bag. "I'm working here! No looking!"

China glared. "Fine, but no power tools, aru! Put it away!"

"Ah, man!" America groaned in slight annoyance. "All right, all right, keep your pants on!"

"Aru!" Offended, China whacked his frying pan against America.

America yelped. "Ow! Come on, what was that for?"

"That was for the remark about my pants, aru!"

"But I say it all the time!"

"Then you are always rude, aru!"

America rubbed the back of his head. "Man, the Chinese are so weird…"

Germany palmed his forehead, sinking into a pool of hatred and regret. These people were idiots, so why was Germany so upset about this? Clearly, no one else cared about the reenactments. He was the only one remembering the war, and reliving his nightmare, remembering the suffering of those closest to him for which he was ultimately responsible.

At least no one had mentioned the Juden yet. And he knew someone would.

Germany sighed. "Italy…"

Behind him, Italy stopped thinking about food for a moment and replied, "Germany~!"

"Ja, well…" Germany turned around to face Italy. The charming, oblivious Italian face made it hard for Germany to think sometimes. That face had followed him through the war, even though Italy lost his brother to the Allies and was home to a large resistance movement. In truth, most Italians wished for nothing more than to be free of the Nazi oppressors.

A country's heart lies with its people, so Italy must have resented Germany, too. If so, then why did Italy stay with him? Did Germany make him do it?

With that monstrous thought, Germany shut his eyes and ordered, "Go to the Allies."

Italy's squinting eyes opened a bit more than normal. "Ve~?"

Germany refused to look at the small, gentle man. "You may not have noticed, Italy, but we are reenacting World War Two. The Allies are invading now. So, you can go to them."

Italy shifted balance around on his feet. "Okay!"

Germany opened his eyes to see that Italy had not moved. "W-What are you waiting for? Go."

Italy swung his paintball gun in circles. "I'm happy here, Herr Germany~!"

Germany paused. He had not been called that in a long time. Strangely, the silly, obsolete name brought back some good memories. Despite all that Germany did, Italy had enjoyed their time together, right? He was always happy, or needlessly scared, but never unhappy. Maybe Italy had stayed because he wanted to stay. Was it possible for someone to be oblivious enough to truly enjoy the company of the hated, evil, callous Third Reich, and to feel safe with him?

For a moment, Germany smiled.

"Holà! Holà, look!" France pushed himself over the keg and pointed eccentrically at Germany. "Look at his face! He's smiling!" And he whispered suggestively, "He must be into that name…"

Germany realized too late what he was doing and stopped immediately. "I am not!" He should not be happy about this! He had invaded Italy during the war; he should not be happy. Germany should never be happy about the war! He was never protecting Italy; he was hoarding him!

"You were right, France-kun." Japan noted apprehensively. "What does this mean? Is it a sign of Nostradamus?"

China said nothing, for fear that Russia would misinterpret it. But America hollered, "What, Germany smiled? Damn, I totally missed it! Do it again, Nazi!"

"Everyone, hic, forgot about me, damn it..." England erected his gun and pointed it at Germany. "Surrender Italy, hic, to me!"

No.

Yes?

No!

"Nein! I am done with this game!" Germany directed his gun at America and fired.

America's bag was painted green. The strong country pulled his hands out of the bag and waved them around. "Ow! What the hell?"

Germany brought the gun to his knee and snapped it in half. He let the pieces fall to the ground. "I am getting off of this island myself, or I am staying here forever! But I will not participate in this sick form of American entertainment any longer!" Germany pulled his legs strictly together, snapped his captor an ironic salute, and marched away.

"H-Hey! Where're you going?" America stood up and left his bag. "What do you think you're-?"

"Ich verlasse!" Germany stormed past Italy, then Japan, France, and Russia.

"Wait!" America ran after him. "I can't have World War Two without Nazi Germany!"

Germany kept that in mind while he disappeared past the trees.

"A-Aspetti, don't leave me alone, Germany!" Italy cried and ran after him.

France let Italy pass but stopped America from going any further. "Mon cher, do not chase them. Give Germany a ten minute break, and I am sure that he will return."

America complied, and the dictatorial grin that he usually wore was gone. His raised shoulders slumped and he murmured sadly, "Why, why did he leave?"

"Because, hic, you are an arsehole, America!" England assumed that the reenactment must be over, so he went to the Axis side to get some more beer. He tripped over one of the pieces of Germany's gun once, but that didn't stop him for long. "Give me some, hic, more beer, frog!"

"Anything for a friend." France poured him another glass, but he was not thinking about England too much right now. After all, Germany was alone! This was the perfect time for his new plan.

"Do not feel bad, America-kun." Japan, terrified of close contact, shuddered as he ventured comforting America with a quick pat on the shoulder. It was not as bad as he expected, but he would not be doing that anytime soon. He exhaled in relief. "Eto, do not push Germany-kun so hard. France is right; he will come back."

The same words that failed to mean anything when France said them somehow cheered America up when they were from Japan."Great, thanks, Japan!" America grabbed Japan around his shoulders with a bear hug. "You're the man! You always know what to say."

France pouted.

Japan trembled. "Et, eto, eto …"

Alone on the Allied side, China side-stepped over to the unattended green bag.

"Hey!" America released Japan to yell at China. "Get away from that!"

China huffed. He really did not care about the bag, really. With nothing else to do, China regrouped with the five remaining nations on the Axis side.

"America," Russia said lightly, "We hold Teheran conference in Iran now, da?"

"Oh, like an anime conference?"

Japan lowered his head. "A-Anime convention, America-kun."

"Niet, is conference after invasion of Italy." Russia continued. "Big Three meet in a Soviet Embassy."

"Ha, yeah, all right!" America regained his enthusiasm and resumed his fierce dictatorship with a thrust of his fist. "The Big Three will meet while Japan and France go bring Germany and Italy back!"

"What about me? You only remember the Big Three of Europe!" China prepared himself and raised his frying pan. "What about the Big Three of the Pacific: you, England, and me, aru!"

"Ha, you're probably lying but I'll go along." America pushed China's pan down. "We can do the meeting of the Big Four!"

"Idiot, the Big Four refers to, hic, the First World War! I doubt you remember that one, either." England noticed the wooden music box in France's hand. "Huh? What's that thing?"

"This? Oh, nothing." France put it behind his back.

England scoffed him and proceeded to lose his balance and collapse on the ground. "Wanker…"

Japan was already walking away, so France darted off to catch up with him.

America pulled England back up. "So, you two get to work on the conference thing while I go back over there and work on my super secret project of unknown awesomeness."

Russia asked kindly, "What are you working on in the bag, America?"

"You can't know, commie! I wouldn't tell you about the Manhattan project, and I surely won't tell you about this!"

"Then I must learn through my spies again, comrade."

America laughed. "You didn't have any spies at my house! I would have known about them! Ha, stupid Russians."

"It is no wonder that Germany left, aru!" China poked his finger in America's ribs. "You are such an idiot!"

Russia leaned closer, and bent a little at the hip. "Hello, China. It is later now, da?"

China started and took a step back. "W-What?"

Russia grabbed China around his neck. This time, it was entirely the Russian's own doing, and the darkness that normally marked him gave way to a welcoming light. "Remember? You said that we could continue this later. Now, it is later, da?"

"G-Get off of me!" China replied as firmly as possible. "And I never said that! B-But I did say, you should be concerned about my face, aru!"

Russia smirked. "Oh, I am."

China did not like the sound of that. "Uh, th-that is g-good, so will you-"

Russia grabbed China's hair and pulled the nervous man into a soft kiss.

America laughed so hard that he accidentally hammered England back down into the dirt, knocking the drunk country unconscious.

Japan was very uncomfortable.

"Ha ha, did you hear what Italy said? Herr Germany, ha ha!" France's chuckle was careful and controlled, unlike America's boisterous laugh. "And yet the poor bastard insists that the dress I made for Italy was a mistake! How hypocritical."

"France-kun…" Japan pleaded. "Please talk about something else."

"Ah, Japan, I have a wonderful scheme, but I will need your help to execute it. What do you say?"

Japan wasn't so sure. What little information he had been able to gleam about the morning incident made him reluctant to be involved. "Eto, eto…"

"You must help me! Here, I will give you something." As they walked, France gave Japan a small wooden box. "You can have this."

Japan cautiously took the object. "Is this the music box that Italy-kun was crying about before?"

"Yes, and I assume that it plays nice music. But don't open it, or you might scare the other Axis powers away!" France lowered his own voice, and smiled deviously. "Do you accept the gift? Of course you do."

Japan nodded, but he scrunched up his face. Now he owed France something in return, and he expected the worst. Resigned to his well-mannered fate, Japan put away the box and answered, "A-Arigato."

"Japan! Japan!" Italy's cries assaulted them as the worried little nation came sprinting back. Italy lurched onto Japan and shook him ecstatically. "Japan! I was following Germany and asking what he was doing but he was just grunting a lot so I think he might be injured somewhere and then he told me to go back to get America's chainsaw so that he could get lumber and I don't know what that means but I wanted to help and so I'm running to get it but I am afraid it will be too heavy so will you help me?"

"Eto… I, eto…"

"He is building a boat? That is insane! Quelle horreur!" France stressed at the mere thought of the amount of hard labor required. "We do not even know where we are!"

"I-Italy-kun." Japan, with great effort, gently pushed Italy off. "We need to bring Germany-kun back and continue reenacting the war."

Italy shook his head furiously. "I have to help Germany! And we're a team, so you should help, too!"

Japan murmured, "…Eto, that would be difficult."

"You must speak more directly, mon cher, or Italy will not understand." France gracefully stepped in between Japan and Italy. "Vous voyez, little Italy, we want to help him in a different way."

"Ve~?" Italy paused and paid close attention.

France demurely drew Italy closer in a half-hug. "You see, he is still suffering from his, oh, his stomach pain, non?"

Because Italy was too oblivious to understand, Japan had to be doubly embarrassed for the both of them, and his cheeks tinged pink. What had France just said about the need to speak directly?

"Sì, sì!" Italy nodded happily. "I should wear the dress again, ve~!"

Finding this situation to be too much to bear, Japan decided that now was a good time to continue walking. Unfortunately, Italy and France tagged along.

"Eh, not this time, cher Italy. My new plan is far more sophisticated." France pushed Italy along with his right hand, while explaining with his left hand. "Think of it as a game."

"Eto…" Japan yearned to say something, but it was caught in his throat. "F-France-kun… eto…"

"Ah, Japan, I did not forget about you." France pushed Italy further so that all three of the nations were walking side by side, with France in the middle. "How would you like to help Germany? Hmm… Oh, you like role-playing games, n'est-ce pas?"

Japan's eyes widened, and he immediately understood the implications of that assertion. He still tried to avoid it, though. "H-Hai, France-kun, like the kind played as board games."

France laughed delicately. "Bien sûr, you can call it that if you want to."

"O-On second thought, no, I d-do not like them."

China never saw it coming, and he did not know what to do. Russia captured him in a most unusual way, with locked lips, closed eyes, and hands that were beginning to wander.

China, however, shuddered and his brown eyes opened impossibly wide. Florid, shocked, and frightened, China shoved Russia away and staggered back. "L-Liúm-máng, aru!"

Russia's bright smile only faltered for a moment. "Your face is all better now?"

"Ha ha!" America stepped over the unconscious England to more properly laugh at the Eastern countries. "El oh el, what the hell was that? I didn't know gay was contagious."

"Happiness is always contagious, comrade." Russia kept his gaze on China but did not approach him yet.

China trembled. "R-Russia! W-What is the m-matter with you, aru!" China could not believe this. Russia was not always this stupid! "W-When Am-merica says gay, he does not m-mean happy-!"

"Hey, don't let me interrupt you two!" America grabbed China and pushed him. "Go ahead and kiss again, just let me take a pic with my cell!"

"N-No!" Instantly, China spun around and whacked America with his frying pan.

"Ow, my head! That hurts, you know? And where did the frying pan come from? Do you just carry that thing around all of the time?" America whimpered lazily. "Jeez."

China then turned to point his weapon at his other Ally. "S-Stay away from-"

Russia was already right behind him, though, just centimeters away from China's honor."You look so cute when you are holding that pan, China~"

China screamed. "Máo z-zi!"

"Ha! Oh, you're screwed now!" America quietly bent to the ground shook England. "England, wake up quick, you've got to see this! China's about to get his ass kicked by Russia!"

England turned over in his sleep onto his stomach and murmured, "Not now, little America… Your big brother needs to nap, but we can play later…"

"Come on, England! Get off your drunk ass and laugh with me!" America compelled England to stand on his feet, half awake. "Check it out, Russia's owning China!"

"Huh?" England snapped to attention. "What? What's happening? Ah!" He flinched back into a standing fetal position. "God! Damn it all, my head!"

"You are shivering, comrade?" Russia blissfully gathered the distraught China in his arms again, forcing the frying pan to fall to the ground. "I keep you warm, da? You are my field of sunflowers~"

"Russia, l-let me g-go!" China struggled desperately at the deathly close contact. "A-America, Eng-gland, help me!"

England held his head down. "Blimey, someone kill me…" America laughed and gave him a hearty slap on the back, which earned a hateful glare.

Russia took advantage of the height difference between him and his captive, and nuzzled China's hair. "Become one with Russia..."

The terrified Chinese man did not care about his face anymore. He was scared for his life, and he did not want to die on this obscure island! "N-No, I hate you!" He felt like he was going to faint. "I hate you! Release me, aru!"

Russia stopped. "Da?" He let China go.

China immediately ran backwards, completely ignored the Russian's strange smile, and stuttered," I-I am g-going to ch-check on the A-Axis!" He ran and flailed his arms like his life depended on it.

Russia devotedly watched him go. "The way China rejects me is cute. It is part of his culture, da? I wonder how many times I should ask before I force him~"

"Ha ha! Too bad, commie." America remarked without sympathy. "But hey! Now that you're done being gay, you can stand there and envy me while I build my super secret project of- what! My bag is gone! I left it right there! Where is-?"

Somehow, America's large green bag appeared in Russia's arms and at his feet, and he was looking inside of it. "What is this, comrade? It reminds me of Little Boy you drop on Hiroshima."

"Yo! Get your Russian hands off my bag!" Furious, America pulled it away from Russia. "I knew it, stealing secrets from me again, Russia! And by the way, Little Boy was my bomb! It sounds perverted when you say it."

Russia smiled thoughtfully. "I wonder why China avoids me. Maybe he is weird, like big sister Ukraine."

England tried to ignore the dulling throb in his head for a moment to lean over and look in the bag. "What's all this, anyway? More of your fireworks?"

"Nope! It's way cooler than fireworks, which are still pretty cool." America opened the bag and started throwing tools at his Allies. "Well, since Russia already peeked, you two can help me build it!"

"Of course not! Now, answer my question, yank! Ah!" England ducked as a wrench threw over him. "Cripes, are you trying to knock me out again? And what the bloody hell are you making, America!"

"Get real, Iggy! I'm not going to tell you that easily! It's a gift for someone, so no one else can know what it is before he does!" America reached into the bag and pulled out a wrapped hamburger. "I also happen to keep food in there, but that's unrelated."

Germany searched through all of the materials available in his camp, but he knew even before then that escape was impossible. What good would all the wood, rope, and nails on the island be, when they were so far away from any civilization?

But how could he go back there and become what he hates most, just for the amusement of some self-indulgent super power?

Looking for an answer to his problems, Germany left Japan's tent and moved on to his own. He noticed that Italy's green and white dress was still there, so he picked it up to move it outside.

Japan met him there. His dark eyes were less emotionless than usual. "Kon'nichiwa."

"Oh, Japan." Germany looked around to see if anyone else was around. "What is it?"

"Germany-kun, would you consider, eto, would you please consider, eto…?" Japan started shaking. "W-Would you p-please, eto…" Japan had worked so hard to prepare himself but this was just too foreign to him.

Germany warily raised an eyebrow. "Ja?"

Japan gulped and started over. "That dress you are holding, Germany-k-kun." He politely extended his hand. "M-May I have it?"

"Oh, you want the dress." Germany rolled his eyes and kept the dress away from the otaku. "France must have put you up to this. Tell him to stop this immaturity at once."

"N-Not exactly." Japan steeled himself. He had to pay attention; the happiness of his friends was at stake! Plus, he still owed France for the gift. "Et, eto… I need… eto…"

"What do you need?"

"Et, eto… "

"Spit it out, Japan!"

"Eto, I want to wear the dress."

Germany lit up with incoherent shock. "You…"

"Hai, Germany-kun." Japan anxiously waited for a response.

"That is… That is…" Germany was at a loss for words. That was the last thing he expected from Japan, who must be the most proper and insecure personified nation on the planet. "… Are you serious?"

"H-Hai."

"Is… Is this one of France's tricks? He wants Italy to wear it, again, does he not?"

Japan avoided answering directly. "I want to wear the dress."

"Um... Then…" Germany thought he understood then. Japan was just trying to get the dress from Germany and then give it to Italy, for the schemes of that sick Frenchman! That had to be the case. Japan's actions made no sense otherwise! "Then, here, take it."

"A-Arig-gato." Japan accepted the dress from Germany.

"But, before you go, you have to put the dress on in front of me. That way, I will know it is not a trick, you see?"

Japan nodded, as if that had always been his intention. "Hai." He took the dress and suppressed the painful feelings manifesting in his brain.

The German soldier-turned-modern-businessman stood calmly and watched Japan, knowing that the Asian man would never wear it, and France's awful games would be ruined.

But then Japan hastily pulled off the top of his replica uniform and pulled the green and white dress on over his head!

Germany was shocked for a second time. "You… You were… You were serious!" His features contorted pathetically and he stared incredulously at Japan.

Once the dress was on, Japan dropped his trousers and folded them. "Thank you, Germany-kun." Japan stood there a while longer without saying anything else.

"Um, Japan…" Germany rubbed the back of his head. "W-Why did you do that?"

"Et, I want to, eto, better understand the Italian culture."

"… By wearing a dress?"

"… Hai."

"… I see."

Japan inhaled deeply, resigned himself to his mission, and suddenly embraced Germany, throwing his arms under the German's shoulders and resting his dark-haired head against the black shirt on the chest.

Germany jumped the tiniest bit. "Was! Japan!"

"I-I a-am sh-showing g-gratit-tude as-s It-taly would-d." Japan was terrified. He could hardly breathe, yet he still maintained his calm expression. Of course, this was not the first time his personal space had been violated, but it was the first time that he had initiated it!

"W-Well…" Germany was confused and surprised. This was not normal behavior for the reserved Japanese man. And the dress did not help; this situation would have been awkward enough without it! But aside from the horrible, horrible, horrible shock value, it was not so bad. At least it was Japan making this gesture, and not Italy. Sure, this had never happened before, but Japan was evidently just trying to learn about Western cultures, right? Germany could respect the initiative. "Fine, if you insist."

But Japan's errand was not quite done yet, and he forced his eyes to stay open. They surreptitiously fell from the German's black shirt and down to the green pants, watching for any suspicious movements. Nothing happened, though.

Japan waited longer, but still nothing occurred down there.

After a while, Germany guided Japan away with a push of the hand. "That is long enough, Japan. Even Italy's hugs do not usually last this long. He does not have the patience for it."

"H-Hai. T-Thank you, G-Germany-kun. I should g-go now, eto, the others-s might be…" Japan stammered the rest of his words in his own language and made haste for the woods in the dress, eager to escape this social nightmare.

Germany remained by his tent, astounded, failing to fully comprehend his Eastern companion.

Wait. Did no one care that Germany was trying to escape the island? And why is Italy taking so long with that saw!

A somewhat calm and collected China found France and Italy lying down in a thicket of trees, spying on the Axis camp from a safe distance.

Unlike Italy, France was unhappy. The sparkles that normally danced around him were tempered with disappointment. "Merde! It did not work!" He groaned. "And I was so sure!"

"Germany never gave the signal, ve~!" Italy flailed his legs playfully behind him. "Should I go anyway?"

China bent down, trying to see what they were looking at. "What are you two doing, aru?"

"Chut, China, s'il vous plaît!" France stood up, along with Italy. "Japan is coming back."

From the Axis camp, the flustered island nation came running. His impassive look was betrayed by the tremble throughout his body that could only be explained by a Frenchman or an earthquake. To his credit, Japan was able to navigate the woods beneath his feet without dropping his folded clothes or tripping all over his dress.

Oh, that's a surprise. China gawked openly at him. "Japan! You are wearing a dress, like a maid!"

"China, please, do not speak so loud." France knew that his plan had failed but he asked anyway. "Mon cher, did anything happen, Japan?"

"N-No." Japan suffered from some post-traumatic stress disorder, but other than that he was relieved. The hard part was over, and now his debt was fully repaid. "I am sorry, I failed." Actually, Japan did not know why France had asked that Japan wear the dress in the first place. He had no idea what France was expecting, but obviously, whatever it was, it had gone wrong.

"What is going on, aru!" China shouted quietly.

"We are cheering up Germany! Yay!" Italy held his hands up high. "My job is to wait for Germany to panic, yell, or jump Japan, and then I rush in and-"

"Italy, Italy!" France cut the boyish country off. "Out of context, China would not understand that."

China crossed his arms, silently demanding an explanation from the rather eccentric wine-lover.

France took China by the shoulder. "Vous voyez, I thought that if Japan wore that dress, Germany would have a similar reaction to the one he had this morning! Once Germany, eh, reacted, heh, to Japan, I would send Italy in naked and then all of the Axis powers would have a great time together! Genius, non?"

"Nani!" Japan jerked back and blushed as red as the dot on his flag. France had not mentioned that last bit before! "Et, eto, eto…"

"Like a party!" Italy added happily, attesting to his ignorance.

"Ugh!" China wanted to throw up, just to prove a point. "That is disgusting, aru!"

"Non, mon cher, it is love!" France, as always, did a great job of making himself out to be the protagonist. "But unfortunately, there was not so much as a bulge in Germany's pants! Forgive me, Japan, but I suppose it must be Italy to do it." France sighed dramatically.

Japan face-palmed, hiding the shame written in metaphorical kanji all over his face. He turned away from the group and averted his gaze from everyone, even the occasional bird in the sky.

China narrowed his eyes and stepped away from France. "We should not leave Italy with you, aru."

"How can you say such a thing? I am his only role model for romance! Ah, de toute façon, my plan has failed." France stroked his chin. "I need to form a new one…"

"Oh, oh!" Italy bounced. "Japan's role-playing games sounded fun, let's play those, ve~!"

France contemplated that for a moment, and smirked widely. "Why, yes, Italy, that sounds… Ha, I have the perfect plan! But I will need help from more than just the Axis powers." In a superior tone, he pleaded to China. "Perhaps you could spare some time to help our poor German friend, China?"

China frowned with suspicion, Japan stammered a polite refusal, and Italy clapped his hands with delight.

"One of you two needs to say something! I am so bored, and you two suck! What did we do during the Teheran Conference?" America fiddled with a hammer. He wasn't really using it, but it was an entertaining item to spin around. "Ha, tare-on conference... That sounds really terroristy. I don't remember it at all."

"You should have paid more attention, then, git!" England, like Russia, was indolently watching America work on his project. They had nothing else to do. "If you must know, we planned out the invasion of occupied French territory in Europe, among less important items. Besides, it was the first time that the three of us met during the war."

Russia added cheerfully, "In famous photograph, our bosses sat like we sit now, except they sat on chairs and we sit on dirt. This is fun, I hope that we can play here forever~!"

"What, you can't really want to stay here!" England retorted. "We all positively reek and I am just getting over two hangovers that were beyond mortal means! This island must be haunted by demons and-"

"Oh say, can you, see!" America shouted randomly. "By the dawn's early light~!"

"Wanker!"

"What so proudly we- ow!" America rubbed his ear where the Englishman smacked it. "Everyone hits me, but no one else here is strong enough for me to hit back! It's so lame."

"That song of yours is deplorable, America. And more importantly, you stole it from me!" England raised his nose at his former charge. "It used to be my drinking song! It's no wonder I want a beer every time I hear it…"

That was when China came running across the field. He was in quite a rush and he passed the other Allies without getting close. Russia smiled to him, which only made China shake and go faster, toward the Allied camp.

Russia hummed. "See you soon, China~"

Italy followed, but he slowed down to chat with the Big Three. "Hi, Russia! Hi, America! Hi, England!"

Japan quickly pushed Italy from behind, forcing him to resume running. "H-Hello, Russia-kun, America-kun, England-kun. Forgive us; we are in a hurry."

"Yo Japan! What's up!" America responded loudly. "That's a sweet-ass dress you've got on there."

"I, eto, I do not normally wear d-dresses. P-Please ignore it."

"Hey, dude, wait! Where're you guys going?"

"If Germany c-comes this way, please stall him." Japan scampered after Italy.

"Ha, okay!" America gave a thumbs-up that Japan did not see.

England finally muttered, "Where are they going, and why is Japan in that dress that France made?"

"Maybe that is what Japan wore during the war." Russia postulated a theory that he knew was incorrect. "Is cute, da?"

"Why wear a dress in combat!"

"Ha, you have no sense of style, England." America smirked adorably and pushed up his glasses. "If it were up to you, we'd all be wearing pants and suspenders!"

England paled, like the calm before a storm. In England's house, pants and suspenders are what America calls underwear and stockings. So it is understandable why England filled to the brim with resentment.

"Huh?" America poked at England obliviously. "What's your problem?"

"Pant's and-! You must be vexing me on purpose, yank! Speak the Queen's English!" England pulled at America's hair. "Say it with me! Trousers and braces! Trousers and braces! Not bloody pants and suspenders!"

"Hey, that hurts! Cut it out!" America swatted at England. "Ow, jackass! Get off of Nantucket!"

Russia smiled and drank his vodka. This was not too different from how they behaved at the real conference of 1944, or any world meeting, for that matter. All the nations did was babble and they never got anything accomplished.

But, then again, Russia was not really thinking about the reenactment anymore, as he lovingly held an imaginary sunflower in his hand.

After recovering from Japan's questionable behavior, Germany moved on to Italy's tent in search of equipment. Germany already gave up on the prospect of building a boat, but he still had some hope of contacting the outside world.

However, the only noteworthy thing in Italy's tent was the lack of a blanket. France must have used Italy's blanket to make that awful, certainly-not-at-all-effective dress. Germany sighed, looked through everything in the tent, and left empty-handed.

A charming Frenchman greeted him outside. "Bonjour, Germany!"

Germany suddenly grew larger, taller, and darker as he stared down at the weak nation. "France…"

"Oh, p-please, I know you w-would not hurt me!" France nonetheless stepped back a few feet. "… I-I hope."

"Go away, France, unless you have a way off of this island."

"I do not, but I do have something better." France grinned. "I assure you, it is better than all of the kink dresses in the-"

"I knew that was you!" Germany snapped, and then groaned. "Torturing me is one thing, but Japan can be as impressionable as Italy sometimes… Enough with this juvenile behavior, France."

"You are so cruel!" France mockingly placed his hands over his heart, as if it were struck. "You care only for your own discomfort! After all, Italy is having lots of fun-"

"What are you doing with Italy!" His hands clenched tightly.

"Nothing at all, mon cher!" France began retreating slowly. "Well, nothing that he does not want, anyway!"

Germany fumed. How he wanted to throttle the man! "Bastard, what are you up to!"

France laughed and ran away. "Farewell, à plus tard!"

"Scheiße, stay away from Italy and Japan!" Germany thundered after him.

Like Italy, France was accustomed to retreating, and the dense forest was a bonus, but what really helped him escape was that Germany could not bring himself to actually assault the Frenchman. Once or twice, Germany got close enough where he could have grabbed France, but instead he would only grunt and shout, "Stop, verdammt!"

"Non, you will just have to follow me!" France replied. Still, he was glad that this island was so small, and he did not have to sprint very far.

France broke through to the clearing where some Allies were sitting. "Watch out, friends, Germany crossing!" He laughed at them, rolled the keg of beer away on its cart, and continued on.

"What?" England let go of America's hair. "What are you doing, France? Get back here!"

Germany appeared next, cursing under his breath. "France! Stop or I will kick you out of the European Union!"

"Not good enough, love!" France disappeared toward his camp.

"Oh, wait, Nazi!" America rolled up on to his feet and blocked the large German. "Stay here!"

Germany glowered. "I am not participating in your games anymore, America." He noticed that the only people on the field were America, England, and Russia. "Hm. And you do not need me to reenact your conference."

"But we need you to for the rest of the war! Unless, you surrendered already?" America turned from the newly offended Germany to get confirmation. "Did Germany lose yet?"

"Da." Russia answered simply. "He lost as soon as he invaded Soviet Union. He just did not know it yet."

"Um, no." England corrected his not-so-innocent not-so-friend. "… Officially, Germany did not surrender until later."

"So you have to stay!" America beamed, and held one hand out parallel to himself. "Stay right here!"

"Not now. I need to find Italy and Japan." Germany stepped to the side.

America matched his movement. "Nope!"

"Why not? I am the leader of the Axis powers. I should be allowed to retrieve them!"

"Yeah, well, I am leader of the world, so suck on that."

Aggravated even further, Germany gently pushed America out of the way.

America roughly pushed him back. "Nuh uh! You're staying here, buddy!"

Russia finished his bottle of vodka and stood up. "You are not very good at stalling, comrade." Russia smirked darkly. "I should stall him, da?"

"Brill, Russia." England remarked sarcastically at Germany's widening eyes. "We can always count on you."

"Why are you stalling me? What is going on?" Germany thought about kicking America down but that probably would not work anyway. "Is France using you three as well?"

"No way! I don't take orders from no ancient-cheese-eating surrender-monkeys!" America heroically brought his hands to his hips. "Nope! Japan asked us to stall!"

"Japan!" Germany rubbed his forehead. "Verdammt partners…"

America grew fierce. "Hey, don't be dissing Japan! He's awesome!"

"Wanker…" England hung his head low, and whispered to himself. "You never call me that…"

"I stall Germany now, da?" Russia dropped his empty bottle of vodka, brandished a metal water faucet, and raised it to strike.

"Hey, hey! No hitting people with blunt objects to stall them! That's now how you do it in America!" America said, then broke out into laughter. "Ha ha, not how you do it in America… I'm so funny and great. Anyway, at the very most, you would waterboard them, not hit them with inhumane pipes."

Russia was innocently confused. "In America, you do it without faucet?"

"In Soviet Russia, faucet does it without you!" America slapped his knee and laughed his ass off. "Ha ha! Got you there! Man, I am so awesome in every way."

"America, you do notice that Germany is leaving, right?" England rolled his eyes and stood up. "And by the way, in Soviet Russia, they didn't tell foolish jokes about Soviet Russia."

"Niet, comrade! We told many jokes about it." Russia smiled innocently. "For example, I once heard someone tell the funniest joke about communism in Moscow."

America smirked in anticipation. "Oh, what was it?"

Russia answered merrily, "I can't tell you. I gave him ten years for it!"

"W-What? Huh?"

"Ha ha!" England beamed and laughed. "Oh, that's a good one."

America soured and rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't get it. What was the joke?"

"How typical, you don't understand." England expressed his feelings of superiority with a scoff. "He just said it, America. It's about the suppression of political freedom in communism. Russia didn't actually give a guy ten years; it's a joke."

"Oh… Okay?" America shrugged. "Whatever. Mine are better."

"And Russia is right, you are terrible at stalling." England raised his chin. "I bet you didn't even see Germany leave!"

"What? Germany didn't leave, he's right…" America spun around several times. "Here…? Aw, man, that sucks! Fine, I'll just bring him back! Uh, what happens next in the war?"

Russia stroked his faucet like a pet Chinese kitten. "We enter Rome, da?"

"All right, awesome! That's what will do!" America shoved the nations forward. "Time to crush the Germans and maybe some Italians if any of them are still Fascist or if he found my hidden supply of pepperoni pizza under my tent!"

"France! France! Stop this or I will-!" Germany infiltrated the enemy camp, and was dumbfounded by what he saw. "This…"

The camp of the Allies had five tents, circled around a campfire, much like the three tents in the Axis camp. However, one of the tents was enormous and suspended at the corners, and the other four had to be clumped together to make room for it. The mammoth tent was decorated with neon lights and advertisements for drinks in German, English, and two Chinese languages.

The tent had a lighted sign on the front which read, in German, 'Mädchen-Café und Kneipe.'

Sorry to say, that translated to 'Maid Café and Bar.'

"Hm?" Germany was not familiar with the idea of a maid café, but he knew what a bar was, and the tent was certainly about the size of one. If the construction of a pub was all that France had planned, maybe Germany was overreacting. And another beer sounded pretty good right now. But the tent was so massive, and it had electricity! Maybe Germany could find a way to use it and contact other islands?

At any rate, he had to find his fellows and scold them about working with France. For Italy, it would be the second scolding about listening to France today.

Germany pulled aside the opposing flaps on the front of the tent, only to gawk again.

Nothing in all of his years as a punctual politician, experienced businessman, or conditioned soldier could have prepared the miserable German for what was standing right in front of him.

Japan, in his green and white dress, and France, in a new black and white maid costume that failed to reach his knees, both extended their hands to Germany and said together, "Welcome home, Doitsu-sama!"

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