BPOV
We had laid together in his bed – hot, naked, sweaty bodies wrapped around one another, both feeling like we could conquer the world. We kissed for the next hour or so as our hands nervously navigated over the other's body - blindly exploring our newfound territory. There wasn't much talking; we communicated by touch and taste, guiding each other with nervous giggles, racing breath and throaty moans. We fell asleep in each other's arms that night for the second time.
But the sun had to rise once again and with it, the realization that love - or whatever manifestation of it we were currently experiencing – is a drug, but not a cure.
I stretched out across his luxurious bed, my muscles and ligaments stretching divinely as I smiled into the sunlight that streamed through the windows. I was sore, but not as badly as I had always imagined I would be. Mostly, it was the kind of pain you feel the day after a really good work out: the kind of pain that means good things.
With a silly grin on my face, I opened my eyes and rolled on my side towards the only man I had ever shared my body with. I purred, almost cat like, when I saw the wide, muscular expanse of his shoulders. I allowed my fingertips to tip-toe over his shoulder blade and then trailed my fingers softly down his side, over his rib cage, to his trim, square hips. I eased my hand around his waist, allowing my fingertips to explore the soft hair below his navel as I pulled myself closer to him, pressing myself as tightly against his back as I could.
Part of me whispered that this wasn't right. I was his nurse. I hardly knew him. Even if we made love…or…just had sex…it didn't mean anything and I really shouldn't be taking such freedoms with him until I knew where we stood.
But I wasn't that girl anymore and the truth of the matter was that I just didn't care. It might be wrong, it might be right, but I was too busy living in the moment and just feeling for the first time in my life to allow any of that other stuff to matter.
I picked my foot up and lightly laid my big toe against his outer ankle, sliding it slowly up his calf to caress his leg as I pressed my breasts against him, delighting in his warmth and reveling in his scent. I leaned forward and kissed him softly on his shoulder and he trembled. I smiled into the kiss, loving what my touch was doing to him, when he trembled again. His back tensed beneath my lips, his shoulders grew taut and it was then that I realized he was folding in on himself.
"Edward?" I whispered, immediately concerned that he was having a nightmare.
He shook his head and drew in a deep breath.
He was sobbing.
"Edward, what's wrong? Are you in pain? Did I hurt you…" My voice trailed off as he continued to shake his head no, now sobbing more fiercely. The next questions hurt too much for me to say out loud.
Was it me? Did he regret it? In the light of day, was he realizing that he had just desperately slept with his hired help?
My stomach twisted and I feared that I might be nauseous.
"I can't feel my legs." He whimpered.
EPOV
"I know, but we're going to work on that together, I promise…" She coaxed, sounding almost relieved.
"No, you don't understand…I can't move…" I caressed the petite hand that rested on my stomach, threading my fingers between hers and pulling her more tightly to me. I was falling apart again, I could feel it. I just needed her to hold me together a little bit longer, but she wasn't getting it.
She raised her other hand to my temple and began gently caressing my hair. "It's going to take time, Edward, but we can do it."
"No!" I shouted, throwing her arm off of me and wanting to turn to face her, but being unable to do it quickly without the use of my legs. "You don't get it, Bella! Last night…you said I moved. You felt it. My toes…I moved my toes, remember?"
I finally maneuvered myself so that I was facing her when the tears that were pooling in her eyes instantly made me wish that I wasn't. Her bottom lip quivered as she struggled not to cry. "Yes, Edward…I remember."
I caressed her face gently, hoping to ease the tears; to mend the harshness of my ways.
I didn't deserve her. It wasn't the first time I had had that thought and, as long as she was willing to put up with me, I was sure it wouldn't be my last.
"Bella…I did move, right? We…did we? Please tell me I didn't dream it…" I pleaded, my own vision becoming blurred by tears. I didn't know what was worse: the idea that I had never really moved my toes, or the notion that I had never really had the opportunity to make love to the gorgeous creature lying beside me, looking heartbroken.
"Yes Edward, you moved." A single tear spilled over and streamed down her cheek. "But you're not cured. I'm sorry, but it doesn't work like that." Her small fingers stroked over my temple and along my jaw until her palm cupped my cheek reassuringly as she looked into my eyes. "It was a step, Edward. A big step. But this is a marathon, not a 50 yard dash."
There was no mistaking it now. Although I had hurt her feelings when I barked at her, these tears that were streaming down her face were for me. But I couldn't be angered by them – it wasn't pity I was seeing in her eyes. She cared…about me…and it had nothing to do with her job. "And the rest, Bella? Please tell me I didn't dream the rest." She was so small and dainty, so very petite beside me that my fingertips were easing into her hairline by her ear as my thumb teased at her plump bottom lip.
She closed her eyes and nuzzled her cheek against my hand before slipping both of her arms around me and pulling her dainty, naked body against mine, as if to remind me. She rested her head against my chest, her ear aligned over my heart and it felt like something clicked for me. I rested my chin atop her head and we just…fit. It was as if I wasn't cured, but I was whole.
"If we're dreaming, Edward, then I'm not ready to wake up, m'kay?" She whispered as her arms tightened around me and she nuzzled her face more fiercely into my chest.
BPOV
As long as we lay together, nude and tangled on his warm bed, Edward seemed content. Unfortunately, bladders began silently screaming for release and stomachs began growling for food until we could ignore real life no longer. I noticed his emotional decline immediately as I helped him to slip on some sweat pants and secured his wheelchair by his side. Only now that I was no longer his hired help, he was struggling to hide his despair from me.
It was odd how having shared such an intimate moment with me made him feel some need to hide the way he was truly feeling. I always thought it would work the other way when I finally found someone. I imagined that, once we shared our bodies, there would no longer be any need to hide anything from one another.
Yet, here he was – obviously disheartened and feeling desperate and trying to pretend as if everything was wonderful. He was even going as far as to feign pained smiles as I placed his feet into the foot rests and unlocked the brakes to wheel him out towards the kitchen.
"Edward – what are you doing?" I asked as he began to whistle.
"What do you mean?"
"This is obviously bothering you. We should talk about it." I put the brakes on once again as I walked around towards the front of the chair to face him. "I could probably answer some questions for you, or at least look into answering them."
His eyes flashed wide as he attempted a devilish grin before reaching out to snatch his arms around my waist and pull me down into his lap. "My only question, Isabella, is when can I get you out of this bathrobe and back into my bed?" He was attempting to leer lasciviously at me as his fingers teased up along the sensitive skin of my inner thigh, but I could see through it. It was a distraction.
A very pleasant…enticing distraction. I thought as my body trembled with anticipation. But a distraction none-the-less.
"Oh no you don't." I pecked him quickly on his beautiful lips before jumping up and securing the robe more tightly around myself. "Now, what do you want me to fix for breakfast?" I asked as I wheeled him into position at the breakfast table.
"Surprise me." He replied blankly.
EPOV
How could she see through me so easily? And, why couldn't she just let it go?
The truth of the matter was that I didn't know what was what anymore. I didn't know what to expect from anyone or anything – including myself and my own damned body.
Everything was out of my fucking control. Last night, my body had surprised me. She had surprised me. I didn't think I could. I didn't think she'd want to. I didn't know it would feel so fucking good.
And then, to top it all off, I moved. I frigging' moved! Hallelujah, I'm healed! It's the case of the miracle pussy! It was joy and elation and spiritual enlightenment all rolled into one amazing experience. I went from being a miserable, broken man to having everything…having it freaking all in the course of an hour.
The bleak and miserable existence I had envisioned for myself was blown to pieces in light of a successful future where I was a man again – a man made even better for having known the love of an extraordinary woman.
When I woke up this morning, it was disappointing to say the least. To have held a bright and gleaming future in the palm of my hands only to have it torn away by the reality that I still had two legs that would not work…the icy claws of my reality clenched at my heart and squeezed, making every beat painful and agonizing.
Then, to feel her soft, warm body pressed against mine – to feel her arms wrapped around me exactly the way I had dreamed and to feel her breath as feminine words cascaded over my skin…it was confusing. The dream and the reality mashed together. What was truth? What was fiction? Where did dreams and reality collide? They had been sewn together so flawlessly that I was having trouble finding the seams.
I tried to focus on what she was telling me. My legs still did not work, but she wanted me none-the-less.
So yes, I was aggravated and confused and pissed as hell at my own broken, fucking body – but the girl I didn't deserve wanted me. Before, my self-loathing and depression had been so all consuming that it had taken me this long to see through it and find her. I wasn't going to allow myself to be blinded by it any longer. There was no time for that bullshit if I was going to make this work so, with every ounce of strength I had, I was going to be the happy, flirtatious, romantic lover that she deserved and just pray to God that someday, my legs would catch up with the rest of me.
She set a plate down in front of me with scrambled egg, bacon and hash browns and my stomach rumbled loudly in appreciation. She returned a moment later with a bowl containing half a grape fruit and some coffee before I peered her sneaking away out of the corner of my eye. "Where are you going? This food is far too good not to share!"
She paused, speaking back to me over her shoulder. "I snacked while I cooked, so I'm good. I'm just going to get dressed real quick. Eat up, I'll be right back."
The distracted look on her face concerned me, and the hollow sound of her voice made a chill run up my spine, but I shook it off, determined not to allow negative thoughts and paranoia to disturb me. I scooped a fork full of eggs into my mouth, but the amazingly delicious, steaming hot mixture landed uncomfortably in my vacant stomach.
I ate the rest of my meal as my mind wandered to her bedroom, wondering what might be going on in her pretty little head and wishing that I could read her mind.
BPOV
I spoke to him over the sizzling of the bacon as I scrambled the eggs, but he never responded. Once again, I asked him if he was alright or if he needed to talk, but he was so caught up in his own thoughts that he never even acknowledged me. He was so far away that he jumped slightly when I placed the plate of food in front of him and, in that moment that I caught him off guard, I got a brief glimpse of the expression that he didn't want me to see. His brows were furrowed deeply over stormy emerald eyes and I immediately recognized the look.
Just two days ago, that look would have been a warning that he was going to scream and yell a lot more than usual as he battled his inner demons but now, as soon as he realized I was there, he pulled a pleasant mask on for my benefit.
I was having none of it.
If he wouldn't speak to Bella, his lover, then there was only one other person I could think of who could make him talk. I took my time getting dressed, trying to gather my thoughts and rehearse what I was about to do.
I recognized the clinging of his silverware against his empty plate just as I stepped back towards the breakfast table. He arched an eyebrow when he spotted me in my scrubs.
"Did you enjoy your breakfast, Mr. Cullen?" I asked as I reached over to take his plate.
His hand reached out, easily engulfing my wrist. "Bella?" He laughed. "What are you doing?"
I looked into his eyes. "Well, I assume the usual, Mr. Cullen. I'll clean the dishes quickly and then we can get started with therapy." He loosened his grip in shock as I slipped away with the dirty dishes.
"I don't understand. Why are you acting like that?" He wasn't smiling any longer. In all honesty, he looked confused and more than a little scared. It hurt me to do that to him, but at least it was real.
"I'm your nurse, Mr. Cullen. Of course, your well being is my highest priority." I answered sweetly as I leaned forward to unlock the brakes.
"Bella, call me Edward. What the fuck is going on?" Tears pooled in his eyes, which made it nearly impossible for me to go on.
I kneeled down in front of him, my arms crossed over his knees as I looked up into his eyes. "I want to do what is best for you, Edward. If me being Bella means that you can't be yourself and be honest with me, then it's obviously better for me to be Nurse Swan and for us to go back to the way things used to be. At least that way, you had finally learned to ask for help when you needed it."
He reached out, taking my face in his hands and gently caressing my cheeks. "I fired you. I don't want you like this. I want you to be my Bella." He reached behind me and began frantically pulling bobby pins out of my hair, as if trying to find the real me underneath it all.
Once my hair began flowing loosely over my back, he took my face between his hands once again. "I'm scared. I don't understand how I could move one day and then be broken again the very next morning. But, you deserve more than some miserable, handicapped man. Don't you get it, Bella? I used to be someone who could make you happy. I could take you dancing and skiing and for long walks on the beach. I can't do any of that anymore, so I'm just trying to do what I can."
"And you think that means lying to me when you're upset?" I wrapped my fingers around his, holding his hands against my face – clinging to him as he clung to me.
"No. It means being strong. It means you not having to take care of me. Not having to nurse me back to health. I want you like a man wants a woman, so it kills me to have to sit there and let you dress me and wheel me around. I'm not afraid to ask for help, Bella. But I want to be your equal, not your patient – and I don't know how the fuck to do that." The tears finally broke loose and streamed over his cheeks as I climbed onto his lap and wrapped my arms around him, pulling his wet cheeks against my chest so that my scrubs absorbed his salty tears.
I didn't say anything because, for once, I could understand what he was saying and the way he was feeling and the best way I could see to help was by not trying to make it all better. So instead, I hugged him and stroked his hair and let him hold me as he cried.
EPOV
For a macho soldier who was struggling to be a strong man to impress a girl, I sure did cry a lot. I thought to myself with a pathetic snort and a shrug. Hell, it's gotten the girl back into my bed for a third time. Maybe us guys have it all wrong after all.
The movie credits were rolling on my TV as Bella reached across me to put the empty popcorn bowl on my nightstand. With the bowl safely on the table, she folded her arms over my stomach and stared up at me with her big doe eyes. "So, what did you think of the movie?"
"I'm glad I didn't spend 17 bucks for us to see it at the theaters." I mumbled, allowing myself the luxury of running my fingers through her hair. She leaned into my hand with a quiet little purr.
"Are you saying that you think Vampires Suck-"
"Sucked?" I finished her sentence. "Most definitely. Though I thought the werewolves were pretty hilarious." I added with a smirk.
She smiled as she leaned down to place a simple kiss on my abs. When my groin tensed in response to her feather-light touch, I couldn't help the grin that pulled at my lips. Glad to see you didn't desert me like my legs did, Private. I silently saluted.
Bella peeked back up at me. "What are you smiling at?" She asked, one seductive eyebrow arched playfully.
"Just taking inventory of all the working parts, is all." I teased back.
To my slight disappointment, she climbed up my body in order to snuggle into my side.
Don't get me wrong, it was really nice to hold her and I knew from hearsay that girls are usually pretty sore after their first time, but that didn't stop me from hoping for another round. I mean, with faulty parts like mine, you have to strike while the iron's hot, ya know? Instead, I wrapped my arm more tightly around her petite shoulders and kissed her forehead, just grateful that she was sticking around.
"I did some research earlier, while you were talking to Emmet on the phone." She started hesitantly.
I could feel my body tense slightly. "Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. But, if you don't want to talk about it…" She led off.
I closed my eyes and focused on relaxing my body…tuning my body into feeling hers instead. Within minutes, I had plugged every nerve and every sensory reception into the tiny girl by my side. I breathed every breath with her and could only feel the parts of my body that were directly in contact with hers. "No, of course I want to hear. What did you find out?"
"Well, you know that conversion disorder is largely psychological…" She started. My shoulders immediately tensed up, so I focused once again on loosening my muscles and focusing on the way her nipples grazed my chest and her breath ghosted across my shoulder…
When she could feel that I was relaxed, she started again. "You're making progress because you spoke to me – you told me what happened. That's the first step in facing it and dealing with it."
That made sense. The nightmares had decreased significantly. My ability to see more than what was two inches in front of my face...
"Okay…" I hedged, goading her on.
"With me, last night, you weren't thinking about it. You weren't trying. You just did. This morning, you were focusing on it, concentrating so hard that you were trying to force your body to respond. That's what set you back."
My muscles tensed and this time, I was unable to do anything about it. "So what you're saying is that, as long as I want it and work for it and try to make it happen, it's impossible?" I could hear my voice becoming strained. "Then, what's the point in trying? It's like saying if I give up, I can walk again!"
My neck instantly began to hurt as my jaw clenched and my hands fisted.
"Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh…." She hedged, stroking down my arm and peppering kisses on my shoulder to try to calm me down.
"Bella, you don't understand." I tried to explain my frustrations as her hand drifted lower, her fingers lightly caressing the hair that led from my navel to the apex of my thighs and my thoughts immediately became frazzled.
"Forget I said anything…" She whispered between kisses.
"How can I forget…" I started, but the way her tongue was trailing sensuously over my skin made me forget what it was I didn't think I could forget.
A moment later, her fingertips slipped beneath the waist band of my sweats as her tongue circled my nipple – something I wasn't even aware that guys were supposed to like but fuck was it good!
My hand slipped over hers and we traveled further down until I could feel her slender fingers gripping me tightly. I moaned out loud and a moment later, my mouth was covered with hers as she sucked seductively on my bottom lip and then slipped her tongue in between my lips.
She began stroking and teasing up and down my length as we kissed. I impatiently worked my way up beneath her scrub top to rub at her nipple through the lace of her bra. She arched her back, pushing her breast into my hand as she moaned into my mouth.
"Ugh, Edward." She whimpered and hearing my name on her lips was nearly enough to make me come undone.
She released me and my hand continued the up and down pace as I watched her eagerly tear off her top and discard her bra. I growled and suddenly, my need to have my mouth on her body overrode my need to continue stroking. I released myself and pulled her to me, quickly covering one pert breast with my mouth as my tongue flicked and circled her taut nipple. She moaned, her hands buried in my hair as she pulled me to her chest greedily.
She swung one leg over my body so that I could feel her warm center on my stomach, my erection straining against the fabric of my sweatpants mere inches away from her snug little ass. She leaned back, one hand disappearing behind her to search for me as I sat up, chasing after her to lavish my attentions on her other breast. Her fingers wrapped around me once again just as my lips landed upon her other nipple. I sucked in with her touch, tugging gently on her nipple with my lips as my tongue darted out, flicking against the feverish bud.
With my left arm wrapped tightly around her small waist, my other hand squeezed and caressed her other breast. I could feel her body flushing beneath my touch as she began to grind her hips against me, seeking friction. I slipped my hand from her breast and down her body, her skin breaking out in goosebumps beneath my fingertips as I ventured down into her pants, seeking the warm, wet, tight center between her thighs. Fearing that she may be sore, I slipped one finger tentatively between her moist folds and she bucked against me, seeking more.
"Oh God, Edward. I want you so bad. How can I want it like this?" Her voice trembled wantonly.
With the feel of her on my fingertips, I literally ached to be inside of her. My body tensed and jerked and tightened with an overwhelming need to bury myself, feeling all of her wrapped around me in every way possible. Hearing that she wanted the very same thing was quickly pushing me over the edge.
"Aren't you sore? I don't want to hurt you…" I pleaded, my voice harsh and gravelly with restraint.
"No Edward. It only hurts wanting you….needing it so badly. Please Edward…please…" She begged as her body danced on top of mine, seeking the same release that I was.
"Ugh, Bella!" I growled as I rolled her off of me, quickly pushing her bottoms and panties down as fast as I could. She quickly began reaching and kicking, trying to discard the rest of her clothing as I pulled my own pants down, kicking them off with lazy legs, eager to be nestled between her thighs.
My legs felt like jelly as I rolled over her, her legs instantly wrapping around my hips as she reached down to position me. "Now Edward." I immediately thrust into her and stars exploded behind my eyelids. She gripped onto my biceps, squeezing and prodding me on as her heels dug into my ass, guiding my movement.
At first, I was bewildered and aggravated as to why my body was moving so sluggishly. Even as she cried out how good it felt to feel me moving inside of her, I longed to push faster and harder. Soon, my legs strengthened and I could feel my ass tensing and squeezing as I began to pound even deeper into her. My body was on fire, every muscle from head to toe triggering and responding in unison as she continued to beg for more and I longed to give it to her.
I pushed and pulled as we chanted in unison: exulting in moans and groans, exclamations to God and my favorite sound of all – the screaming of my name.
Thoroughly spent, we cuddled next to one another, our frantic breaths slowing amidst satisfied hums.
It wasn't until the very last breath I took as sleep overwhelmed me that I realized I moved my legs at all, and I fell asleep wondering if tomorrow would bring another devastating jolt of reality.
BPOV
My plan backfired. After the amazing night we had shared – a night filled with miracles beyond my imagination – I woke the next morning to the sound of Edward's body crashing against the hard wood floor beside his bed.
I ran around to find him in a tangle of limbs as his fists pounded the floor ferociously.
"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" He repeated with every blow until I worked my way beside him and pulled him to me, hugging him tightly and rocking him back and forth, needing to comfort him in the only way I knew how.
"It's not right, Bella! I made love to you! We made love!" He screamed as the tears came, but he wouldn't allow them this time. He swatted at his eyes angrily and shook his head, denying them completely. "I'm not going to cry about this! I'm a grown man, damn it!"
Remembering everything he had achieved last night, he thought he could simply walk away now. He had sat up in bed and swung his legs over, attempting to stand up; until his legs collapsed beneath him. To add insult to injury, he had gotten out of bed to use the restroom. In the time that he lay on the floor, his bladder gave in.
That was what brought on the numbness.
I held him through the tears and the tantrum until the numbness set in. I hated seeing him that way, but it was what I had asked for. It was real – no hiding.
I cleaned him, put new lounge pants on him and got him up into his wheelchair in silence, unsure what I could possibly say to make him feel better.
He withdrew from me, locked back up inside of his head where I couldn't reach him.
Not even the scrubs could help me now.
EPOV
It had been embarrassing when I was her patient but now that we were…what the fuck were we, anyway?...it was just too much to bear.
Not only did I fall out of the same bed I had just made love to her in, but I pissed myself like a damn invalid and then sat there, helpless as I watched her clean it up. I'm not even sure how long ago that was. Was it a few days? A week?
I tried to remember in nightmares.
That's right, the nightmares came back, but worse.
This time, there was no dog.
It was Bella. Tied up and gagged on the side of the road in the fucking desert and all I could do was sit and watch. I knew what was going to happen. To Sarge. To Newton and Crowley. And to my beautiful, helpless Bella. And I couldn't move because my legs were frigging useless.
To make matters worse, right before the bomb went off and everything went red – I pissed my pants.
So, how many times had I had that nightmare now? Was it twelve?
Yes, it had been approximately twelve days since I last made love to Bella. Almost two weeks since she lay with me in bed. Two weeks that she had been within arm's reach and I had yet to hold her or kiss her or touch her. And once again, I couldn't remember any of it.
What have we said to each other since then? What have we done?
I couldn't seem to remember one conversation or one shared meal. Hell, I couldn't even remember the last time she bathed me, though the signs I had been bathed recently were there.
Just then, my door creaked open and a petite brunette peeked her head in skittishly, a sad smile on her pink lips.
"Edward?"
Once again, I checked out.
BPOV
He was worse than ever. I had taken a wounded man and then ensured that he was more broken than ever before.
Where there had once been anger and hurt and sorrow – there was nothing now. He spent his days usually staring blankly ahead in whatever direction I pointed his chair. If I put food in front of him, he ate. If I prepared his bath, he allowed me to get him undressed and bathe him. He took pills when they were given to him and stared at the TV when it was turned on for him, but the Edward I knew…hell, the Edward I was in love with…simply wasn't there anymore.
After the first week, I took an afternoon off to visit with Alice and Jasper. Emmet was eager to spend time with his brother and I could only hope that a change in routine would be what Edward needed to snap out of it.
Or maybe, just a break from me. I thought sadly.
The visit was worthless on both ends. I sat wordlessly on their couch drinking tea, unable to silence the thoughts in my head long enough to feign intelligent conversation and, upon returning home, Emmet informed me that Edward had remained completely unresponsive.
I spent the second week researching information online and calling specialists seeking advice, but their responses weren't good. Most of them suggested if I – his live in help – were not enough, that he might need to be moved to a home. I spent that night bawling in my room, the guilt eating at me till there was nothing left but remorse and bones.
Of course, what would happen to Edward next was not up to me – it was for the Cullen family to decide. I could either stay and watch him self destruct while feeling completely responsible the entire time; or I could leave and hope that the next nurse could reverse the damage I had caused.
Of course, I couldn't return to nursing. I had proven what an incredible failure I was at my chosen profession and would never be able to step foot in a patient's home again without worrying about the total destruction I would bring to their lives. As it was, I had not even collected my paycheck in the weeks since we first made love. The thought of cashing in on this simply hurt more than I could possibly explain.
So it was, nearly three months after moving into Edward's home that I made the hardest decision I had ever had to make.
"May I speak to Mr. Cullen please?" My voice was shaky, but I struggled not to cry.
"This is Carlisle, may I ask who's calling?" The dignified man responded over the phone.
"Hi Mr. Cullen, this is Isabella Swan – Edward's nurse?" I choked a little on Edward's name.
"Oh, yes Nurse Swan. Is everything okay?" He immediately sounded concerned.
No! Nothing's okay! I'm in love with your son and everyone in your family thinks I'm just his nurse! And he won't talk to me and I can't break through to him and even though you trusted me to make him better, now he's even worse and it's all my fault!
"There's no emergency, but I'm afraid I've done all I can for your son. There have been more set-backs and I think he may need more help than I can offer." I turned the mouth piece away, hoping that he wouldn't hear the sobs I was swallowing back.
"I see. Am I to understand that you are submitting your resignation, Nurse Swan?" The lump in my throat was simply too painful to speak past, so I nodded my head.
"Nurse Swan?" he repeated a moment later as I realized he couldn't see me.
"Yes sir." I eked out.
He sighed, making me feel even worse. "I see my son's temper was too much for you to bear. Can I assume that you are giving me two weeks notice, then?"
I was aghast. "No sir. I mean, no – you're son is wonderful. He's funny and charming and talented and amazing…" I blathered.
"Miss Swan, his mother and I may live out of state, but we are perfectly aware of how difficult Edward has become to work with – we've been told by previous caretakers. If this is about a raise, perhaps we could work something out…" He suggested.
"Mr. Cullen, I am being honest when I say that you're son is amazing. He's the most incredible man I've ever met. I simply don't feel that I am capable of offering the kind of help he needs right now."
"To be quite honest, Nurse Swan, I'm a bit confused. My son Emmet was claiming that you were some kind of miracle worker. He told my wife and I after a recent visit that he had never seen Edward so incredibly happy – so it would appear to me that you are doing a terrific job." His praise was more than I could take as I finally broke down.
"Mr. Cullen, as I said, there have been some setbacks. Perhaps you and your wife should come see for yourselves and then you can decide what you think is best. Although it makes me feel terrible to say it, I think you will both agree that it is not me." I hung up the phone as I began sobbing uncontrollably.
EPOV
The nightmares were changing again, though I wasn't sure what was causing the change. This time, Bella survived the blast. As I climbed out of the wreckage, she walked over to me, caressed my face and placed a gentle kiss upon my forehead before she silently walked away, leaving me there among the wreckage.
I no longer woke up screaming but somehow, the pain of watching her walk away to leave me among the rubble hurt worse than anything else ever had. The tears poured quietly from my eyes as my gut ached like nothing I had ever known before – like something deep inside of me was being ripped out without anesthesia.
Three weeks? It was hard to tell, I had started losing count of the dreams, but I would venture to say that three weeks was a pretty accurate guess.
Between the nightmares, there were other dreams, though they were never as vivid. In one dream, Emmet visited but I didn't want to talk. There were lots of dreams of Bella – caressing my face, asking me to come back to her, begging me to tell her what she did wrong. In those dreams, the edges were fuzzy but her face always remained crystal clear and beautiful. In those dreams, I wanted to talk and tell her I loved her, but my tongue was too heavy and I could never get it to work. Those dreams always ended with her looking so very sad.
There were other dreams, but I often wondered which was a dream and which was reality. Did I really have seafood for lunch? Was there really a Three Stooges Marathon the other day? I didn't really know anymore.
I missed Bella. Aside from the nightmares where she died or abandoned me, and the crazy, fuzzy dreams where she somehow thought she did something wrong, I hadn't seen her in ages. I wondered what she was doing and where she was, or if it was really that long ago after all.
I was dreaming now. My parents were here with Emmet in my living room. It was good to hear their voices, though I really couldn't understand what they were saying. They weren't talking to me…they were talking about me, like I wasn't even there. Somewhere in the background, a girl was crying.
I struggled to focus on their voices, to make sense of what was going on.
"He wasn't like this." Emmet said. "He was…well…he was Edward." That made me smile. Only my brother would use my name as an adjective.
"Then what did you do?" My mother screeched. My loving, tender mother. I had never heard her sound like that before. So…betrayed.
"I don't know." It was my Bella, but why did she sound so upset?
"Nurse Swan, as his medical provider and sole care-taker, surely you can tell us what happened to cause this change in his condition." My father was in professional mode, but I didn't really like the way he was talking to Bella.
"It's complicated, Mr. Cullen." She struggled.
I didn't like this dream. It was good to hear my parents' voices, but my parents would love my Bella. They would see how good she was for me…they would see that I was a better man because of her and they would instantly adopt her as part of the family. That's the way my parents were. There's no way in hell the kind and generous Carlisle and Esme Cullen would make the girl I love cry.
"I'm an educated man, Nurse Swan. I'm sure I can follow along." My father prompted.
"He…he fell out of bed." She whispered.
Oh no. Not that. Don't tell them that, Bella. Please. It's too embarrassing as it is…
"And where were you when this happened?" My father asked, sounding a little upset.
"Dad, you can't expect her to be by his side every minute of every day." Emmet defended.
Way to go, Emmet! Talk some sense into them.
"I was with him." Bella slipped in between their comments, sounding small and scared.
"And what did you do?" Dad asked.
"Did you call the ambulance?" Mom's voice cracked an octave higher in worry.
"He was….he was…fine. I checked him. He had no physical injuries. He was able to speak coherently. There were no contusions." She rambled on, sounding insecure as she attempted to defend herself.
"Then that wasn't how this happened, was it?" My father asked, beginning to sound a little frustrated.
"It was after." She answered hollowly.
Mom jumped in. "What do you mean?"
"He was angry and frustrated and embarrassed." Bella struggled to explain. My heart swelled just a little with the fact that she got it. She got me.
"That doesn't make any sense. Why would he be embarrassed?" My mom mused.
Emmet huffed. "Seriously, mom, have you learned anything by living with three men at all?"
My mom scoffed. "Of course, but she's his nurse. I'm sure Nurse Swan has seen much worse. You're brother may be a man, but he's intelligent enough to know that."
"She wasn't just his nurse, mom." Emmet whispered under his breath.
"What do you mean, she wasn't just his nurse?" Dad asked.
I could almost hear Emmet's eyes rolling in his head. After a long, strained pause, Emmet replied "He was in love with her."
Mom gasped. Then, my tiny little Bella surprised the hell out of me. "We're in love with each other."
"Wait a minute…you said you were there when he fell out of bed. If you were standing there to support him, how did he fall?" Dad was ever the Sherlock Holmes, though I was really beginning to wish he could put two and two together without putting Bella on the spot.
The awkward silence stretched on.
"You weren't there to assist him, were you? You meant that you were in bed with him?" My breath caught in my throat as my father leveled the accusation at her.
The voices were becoming clearer with each agonizing second as the dream became more and more real. I wanted more than anything to stand by her side and defend her. I could see the warped way my parents were starting to think and I couldn't do anything to prevent it. My heart was pounding as my still body became covered in sweat.
"Yes sir." Bella's tiny voice replied.
"I'll report you!" My mother shouted.
"Mom, it's not like that!" Once again, Emmet stood in for me.
"You were hired to take care of our son when he couldn't take care of himself! How dare you!" My mother cried.
"Is this the truth, Miss Swan? Have we been paying you to sleep with and take advantage of our son?" My father leveled.
"No sir. I mean…no…it's…" She was struggling to explain but I knew her well enough to know that she thought she was wrong.
She thought she was wrong.
All the fuzzy dreams of her caressing my face and begging for answers.
They weren't dreams. She thought she did this to me. She blamed herself.
And I had let her.
"No." I struggled to yell, but my unused voice came out in a dry whisper as I attempted to enter my waking dream.
"You realize what you've done is an abuse of power, Nurse Swan?" My father's voice was strained, his anger and hurt tightly controlled.
"Yes sir." Bella whimpered.
"No!" I struggled, but they couldn't hear me over my mother, who was now shouting "Look at him! It's molestation! You took an oath to care for people! How could you?"
I sat up in bed, my arms feeling like jelly beneath their own weight.
"I don't know." Bella cried. "I didn't mean to." She was sobbing now. "I love him."
"If you loved him, you never would have let it go on like this. You would have taken him to the hospital immediately. How long as he been unresponsive, Nurse Swan?" I could picture my father towering over her trembling body, blaming her just as badly as she was already blaming herself.
I kicked my legs over the edge of the bed and looked for my wheelchair.
"A couple of weeks." She gasped.
"And you didn't tell anyone? I am going to report you, Miss Swan. By the time I am done telling them the way you have abused and neglected my son, not only with they take away your license, but you will be jailed, do you understand me?"
"No!" I struggled to shout once again, choking on the saliva that was finally beginning to flow into my mouth.
"She told me!" Emmet barked.
I spotted my chair folded up beside my dresser and knew that getting to it was useless.
"What?" My father had finally lost it. "You knew that she was mistreating your brother – that he was far worse than he was when she arrived – and you did nothing?" My father charged.
"She wasn't mistreating him. He was good, Dad. I mean, really good. I've never seen him fall for a girl like this. She made him happy." Emmet pleaded.
"So you didn't see anything wrong with him falling in love with a prostitute?" Dad yelled. The fact that Emmet was involved was simply too much for his professional demeanor to bear.
"NO!" I attempted to shout, my muted voice once again being drowned out by the ranting and raving in the next room.
"I'm sorry. I'm so, so, so sorry. It wasn't about the money. You can have all the money back, I don't want it." Bella wailed.
I needed to hold her like I needed air. I needed to be by her side and stop this, to make everything better – to make everyone see. I gripped the nightstand and leaned on it, testing my weakened legs. And then, I once again attempted to stand.
BPOV
I had never seen two people be so infuriated and heartbroken in all of my life, and I was the cause for all of it. If I could have grown a tail in that moment, I would have tucked it between my legs right before crawling under a rock and praying for death.
"Bella, don't you dare apologize." Emmet comforted as he plopped down beside me, picking me up and placing me in his lap before securing his arms around me.
It felt wrong to be in someone else's arms but, he was like Edward in so many ways that I closed my eyes and allowed myself to pretend, drawing in his strength.
Mr. Cullen sighed loudly. "Emmet, I think you and I need to go outside and talk right this instant." He seethed.
"No Dad. You don't know because you haven't been here. You and mom didn't hear the way the nightmares messed with him at night. You didn't see him when he looked like a meth addict from the complete lack of rest. And you didn't see how much better he looked when she came around, or the light in his eyes when he talked about her. I know you love us, but you weren't here." His large hand came up behind my head and laid it down against his shoulder as he began rocking me gently.
Mrs. Cullen spoke up. "Are you trying to say this is our fault, Emmet?"
"Mom, don't be ridiculous. What I'm saying is that you haven't been here. I'm his big brother! Do you honestly think I would stand by and support him if he was in a position that was bad for him?" Emmet pleaded as he stroked my hair soothingly.
What Mr. Cullen said next shocked even me. "No, we don't. But we do know from experience that you and your brother both share a fondness for attractive young ladies that often leads you into trouble. That could explain why you are defying your parents and comforting the young lady who appears to have put him in a vegetative state."
I pushed through the barricade of Emmet's arms and struggled to stand up. "You're right. I never meant to hurt Edward and I most certainly don't want to stand here and tear this family apart. That was why I called you, Mr. Cullen. So that you could see to it that Edward gets the help that he needs and find my replacement as quickly as possible." I swiped at my eyes, drying the last of the tears that I had to cry.
I spun around to retrieve my purse and looked into Emmet's eyes, placing a palm against his cheek as if to make him feel my sincerity through my touch. "If he ever comes back to you, please tell him I love him and that it was real." For the first time all day, his eyes teared up and he nodded at me, returning the light caress to my cheek. "Thank you for believing in me."
Before I could get more choked up, I turned to face the parents who currently loathed me. "I am so very, very sorry that I couldn't do more for your son and I will forfeit my license first thing Monday morning. I understand if you feel the need to press charges – I will, however, not apologize for falling in love with Edward. It was the single most gratifying thing I've ever done."
With that, I swung my purse over my arm and headed past his bedroom for the last time on my way to the front door.
"Please don't go." A quiet voice pleaded from the bedroom doorway as arms wrapped around my waist and hugged me tightly.
EPOV
I refused to celebrate when I stood on my own legs for the very first time. I refused to rejoice when Emmet stood up for Bella as I took my first shaky step.
More importantly, I didn't collapse when my father once again put Bella down, and I managed to take another step, and another step as Bella laid it all out on the line for my parents.
My heart did sing however when I reached the doorway in time to wrap my arms around her tiny waist and pull her flush against me. I leaned against the doorframe, thoroughly exhausted from my five foot hike across the bedroom, but seeing the way her eyes lit up when she looked at me was enough to make it worth it.
"Edward?" She beamed, dropping her purse onto the floor as she cupped my face in both hands. "You walked! You walked Edward!"
"For you." I whispered as I peered over her shoulder at my bewildered parents. "I did it for her." My body trembled with the strength I was exerting to stay upright.
"Emmet – Can you get him a chair, please?" My big brother bolted to the breakfast table and quickly returned to our side, helping Bella to guide me into the chair.
It was the first time I had sat in a standard chair in months. I quickly pulled Bella into my lap, absolutely refusing to ever let her go again.
"Mom, Dad. I know you love me and you were worried about me, but Bella never behaved inappropriately during her employment. I fired her before we took any romantic steps, even though she's continued to stay by my side and care for me." Before my dad could step in, I added one more important factor: "Check your bank account. If I know her well enough, I'd be tempted to bet that she hasn't cashed a paycheck in about three weeks, have you?"
One look into her big brown eyes told me the truth as she blushed and buried her head against my shoulder.
BPOV
It took a while, but Carlisle and Esme eventually came to trust me and eventually take me in as part of the family. It was a long, awkward road, but thankfully we had big brother Emmet there every step of the way.
Alice even invited Esme to my bachelorette party. That was where we learned that Esme can't handle Tequila shots – but it was also when she unloaded how very sorry she was for all the accusations that were made against me on that day. It was apparently a burden she had been carrying around for quite some time.
My bridesmaid Rosalie informed me that I didn't handle my Tequila much better. Luckily, Esme doesn't seem to remember me telling her how good Edward was in bed…nor does she remember telling me that he must get it from his father.
Tequila seemed to do well all around as Alice squeezed a proposal out of Jasper that night and Rosalie hooked up with a tall behemoth of a man with blue eyes, dark cropped hair and dimples.
Before much longer, I assume Rosie and I will be sisters-in-law.
Despite the fact that things worked out in the end, I simply couldn't go back into nursing after my experience with Edward. Instead, I found work at a local youth center as a counselor and advocate. My specialty seems to be helping children work through post traumatic stress disorder.
After I worked at the youth center for some time, they hired an incredibly handsome, charming man to run the boys sports division. He coaches soccer in the summer, football in the fall and during the snowy winter months, he teaches the kids how to ski. He even adopted a dog to be the center's mascot – a gorgeous husky named "Miracle". All the single moms flirt with him relentlessly, but that never stops Coach Cullen from coming home with me at the end of the night.
Edward likes to joke that I have a miracle pussy – a magical vag that broken men will walk a mile through the desert for. It's a joke that I find crude and distasteful, though I still laugh a little when he's not looking.
In truth, we know the secret of miracles. It takes a dream, a pinch of strength, a healthy heaping of faith and a whole lot of love.
A/N: This second chapter was written in response to the many reader comments I was getting in regards to Edward being cured by sex. The original one shot was written for a contest, and then cut and chopped and demolished in order to meet the 15,000 word limit, which admittedly made the ending seem rushed. Although the "cured by cooch" responses were funny, I felt that the story was not being taken seriously, despite my best intentions. So, hopefully, this will help cap that off a little bit (though you will still see that I am quite capable at laughing at myself. lol) For the record, though, my research shows that it would be perfectly reasonable for Edward to have regained some use of his lower limbs after 1) speaking to Bella about the trauma and 2) being distracted from his inability to move (ie: during sex).
You can learn a little more about the disorder from this blog, which was written by someone who recovered from conversion disorder: http:/ mindbodythoughts. blogspot. com/2011/02/conversion-disorder-by-mayo-clinic-on. Html (Remove the spaces)