Thank you again for the feedback. The season 2 episodes were a little challenging because the character consistency has been a little off… anyway, see you in June.

Between the Lines

"Do you think Vocal Adrenaline ever thought about recruiting me?" She asks. "I mean they went through such great lengths to obtain Sunshine."

"Of course they did," he reasons. "They probably couldn't though because it would be like a reach of contract or something for Shelby."

"Breach ," she corrects quietly.

"Whatever," he shrugs. "Sunshine is good, but you're way better."

She frowns. "But you said we needed her."

"Not as much as we need you."

She smiles in that way that she's too embarrassed to look at him. "It's probably for the best," she decides. "I mean if Sunshine stayed at McKinley, where would she sit at lunch?"

Finn's confused. She'd probably sit at the same table she sat at before.

"If she wanted to eat with the glee kids, there wouldn't be enough room at the table because there are only six seats. And with Artie's wheelchair there's no room for other chairs."

Finn still doesn't see the point and he doesn't get why she's making such a big deal about this until he realizes that she's using one of those metaphor things. He smiles because he thinks it's totally cool when he thinks like a smart person. "You could sit in my lap," he offers.

This doesn't cheer her up. "But what happens if we're not together anymore?"

Now she's just being silly because they're together and they just told each other that they weren't going to break up. But then he really gets to thinking about it. If they weren't together he'd probably just sit with the popular kids, like he did before they started dating and she insisted that they sit with the glee kids. Well he wouldn't sit with the cool kids now because he's not on the football team anymore, but he could probably sit with Puck if he wanted to because he totally owes him.

This makes him think about Rachel though. She only started sitting with Kurt, Mercedes, Tina and Artie at lunch when they started dating. Before that she sat with Jesse Patron Saint of Douches and before that he can't remember ever seeing her in the lunchroom. It all makes sense then. Rachel's not afraid of Sunshine being a better singer than her. She's afraid that the club won't need her anymore. Like how he didn't need her when he had Santana and Brittany and like how Shelby didn't need her when she got Quinn and Puck's baby.

"I'd just stand then," he decides. "That way it'll be easier to look down your shirt while you're eating your Tofurkey sandwich." Crap. He realizes that he said the second part out loud. "Because we'd still be friends." He takes her hand in his. "You're like my best friend."

"Thanks, Finn."

The next day at school he can't help but notice that (for the first time in the history of ever) the top few buttons of her polo shirt are left out of place and that when Rachel leans over to take a bite from her sandwich she presses her elbows together so he can sneak a glance down her shirt. He doesn't know how anybody thinks they could replace Rachel Berry because she's like totally awesome.

She counts the number of days they've been together. 137. She knows it's crazy but she can't help it. She knows that he and Quinn dated for 8 months... she's not sure how many days exactly, but she feels if she can make it to 9 months then that means she's more important to him. It's becoming an obsession and she can't stop, but she wants to mean something to him. She wants him to look back at high school and not think about football or all his cheerleader girlfriends. She wants him to think of her and the glee club and how significant it was. She doesn't want to just be that crazy chick he dated for a while.

That's why on the afternoon that he's put back on the team, she panics. He doesn't take the bait to leave the team and after she asks him to, she realizes that it was probably the wrong approach. She can't bring Finn down to her level; she has to rise to his.

"I don't think that's a very good idea," he says when she suggests they go to a football party that weekend.

"It's your world, Finn; I'm only trying to be a part of it."

She's never been to a high school party before. Well she had gone to a few birthday parties (family mostly), and over the summer she, Finn, and the rest of the original glee kids would watch musicals and plan set lists. But she's never been to a party that has a keg before.

That doesn't stop her from snatching the red cup that Finn pours for himself or stop her from drinking it quickly, much to Finn's surprise when he mutters, "Is beer even vegan?" She's not sure; she's never had to consider it before really. She knows she thinks it tastes terrible… like sweaty feet, but that doesn't stop her from pouring another cup.

This turns out to be a bad idea, of course, and one bathroom break later, even under strict orders not to go anywhere because he'll be back in 20 seconds, she finds herself wandering the house party alone.

"You look ridiculous, you know that. Right?"

Before she can figure out what's going on, she's being ushered over to a couch with a glass of water forced into her face. "God knows why I would be willing to help you."

"You're just trying to shuffle me away so you can get your hooks back into Finn," she manages to mumble.

Quinn can't help but groan. "You are pathetic. Are you seriously going to let yourself get all insecure and start making dumb decisions? Look at yourself; you can't even sit up on your own!" Rachel shuts her eyes and uses all her might to sit up straight. Damn she was right. "Take it from me. They're not worth it. No man is worth it! I've got a baby out there to prove it."

"That's easy for you to say," Rachel says bitingly. "You're hot and popular and could have any guy you wanted. All you'd have to do is snap your fingers and Finn would come running."

Quinn laughs at her. Laughs at her. "Are you kidding me? Finn checked out of our relationship the first time he danced on stage to that stupid Journey song with you." She throws her hands up and Rachel can't help but find it cruel how much she is spinning around the room. "Listen. I'm going to do you one favor. As much as I hate to admit it, I owe you one. You were unnecessarily nice to me last year and I wouldn't have made it through my whole pregnancy without the glee club's support." She sighs heavily. "Tomorrow at school. Come find me."

She doesn't remember the rest of the night. She remembers Finn finding her and throwing her over his shoulder. She remembers portions of the car ride home, mostly Finn yelling at himself for going to that stupid party. And she remembers him tip toeing quietly up the stairs of her house to tuck her into bed. But she can't remember if he told her he loved her. Maybe that's the problem.

Rachel's waiting and he's totally cool with it… so long as she doesn't turn up pregnant. Sure, he was kind of surprised that she didn't want to do it… or anything really… especially since she had done it with Jesse right away, but if it was anything like his first time with Santana, he can understand.

When they first started dating she wouldn't let him in her room, which was weird because he used to go in there all the time. And one time when his hand accidentally passed by her boobs (in front of her dads no less) she didn't talk to him for like three days. It was then that she told him that she wasn't ready to be "intimate" and she said it all shy and terrified like he was going to break up with her for not putting out. It's not like he's Puck or something.

At first he's bummed (because he's a dude) but then he's kind of relieved. Rachel was doing it with Jesse for months and he only had sex with Santana that one time and after they did it she said "is that it?" like she was all bored or something. To be honest he's kind of insecure about this kind of stuff. He's kind of big (and not necessarily in the good way) and he doesn't have much…rhythm. He can't help but think if they were to ever actually do it that she would think Jesse was way better.

But after a few months, waiting gets hard… like literally. He's not sure how Sting holds it in for seven hours because usually after fifteen minutes he starts to worry there might be some serious damage to the plumbing. He starts thinking that something might be wrong with him. Not like a problem with his… problem, but a problem with him. Why girls don't want him.

But then Rachel lets him touch her and it's awesome.

Finn's been thinking a lot about what Ms. Pillsbury said; that when you talk to girls about important stuff and let them be right, it totally gets them off. So he starts disagreements with her on purpose just to let her be right, like playing with fire.

When he tells her that a Barbra medley for their first dance at their wedding would be awesome, she lets him grab her boobs: head on.

When he calls the three month Glee Club Itinerary that solely consisted of her performing various solos "inspired," she takes her top off.

And when he tells her that it's totally cool if they raise their kids vegan, she lets him slip his fingers down her underwear.

Rachel perches herself on the bed so that their shoulders are touching, "The only offensive performance I can think of would be for me to stand silently while you take lead."

"What?"

"I know. It's too gruesome to imagine. Let's not go there."

Finn presses his lips together. "How about a rap song? Like '99 Problems' or 'Superman' or something. Those are pretty offensive."

Rachel gasps, "Yeah, to women. We're trying to be offensive, Finn. Not tasteless."

He puts his arm around her shoulder and pulls her closer. "What about sex?" He asks all casual and innocent but when he turns his head to look at her his eyes are anything but innocent.

Her breath catches in her throat. It's getting harder to resist him. "Pretty much every song in existence has some sort of sexual undertones." He just smiles at her and it's obvious that he has no idea what she's talking about.

"Well we could sing a song about sex," he reasons, "and then we can totally do it."

She gasps. He flinches. Finn's verbal filter is surprisingly worse than hers… if that were even possible.

Her cheeks are warm and she knows she's blushing. "Sounds like a quick way to get expelled."

He's laughing nervously, but his arm is still around her and his body is so close to hers. "It'd be totally worth it."

She wants to do it. She really does, but she's terrified. Would he be able to tell if she were a virgin? She's read that something… happens, but is that something he would… notice? Would he know that she was lying about the whole Jesse thing? That she was a total loser who wasn't ready for sex? Like some celibate tease or something.

"Sex and religion!" She exclaims, effectively changing the subject. "There's nothing more offensive than sex and religion… I think there's a song for that."

There was a petition to get him to transfer. Transfer. Now he knows how Rachel feels, when people have an irrational annoyance towards her. Is he really that awful?

He lifts up his shirt, looking at the reflection in the mirror. Maybe he should start using bronzer or rub himself in baby oil like Sam does. He clenches his stomach and leans forward to pronounce his abs. "One, two, three… four?" He counts. Four packs are just as hot as six packs, right?

"What are you doing?"

Finn drops his shirt quickly. "Nothing."

"Why'd you miss rehearsal today?" Rachel demands. "Did you march around school in your underwear, or is that just some vicious rumor?"

"What? No!" He lies.

"Finn. I'm all for over the top, show stopping displays and protests generally when they involve me and there are loving tears shed but that's beside the point…I think you're being ridiculous."

"Is it that crazy that I feel bad about myself?" Finn whines. So he's being immature, but given the circumstances he thinks he has the right to. "Some guy puked in his locker!"

"I think you're hot!" She tells him like it'll make a difference.

"No you don't!" He snaps. "You're my girlfriend, and you don't even want to have sex with me. You barely even want to touch me!"

She doesn't say anything. It's never a good sign when Rachel is speechless. Her eyes grow dark and he's suddenly terrified. She approaches him like one of those cheetahs on the Discovery Channel that is about to eat an ostrich.

"What are you doing?" He says, because oh God, she's going to murder him.

She doesn't kill him though. She pulls his shirt off over his head, which is a struggle because she's kind of short and then she kisses the side of his chest where she told him his heart was.

Oh God. They're going to do it, he realizes just as his pants become impossibly tight. That is until she unbuttons them.

"I want you," she murmurs and her breath is so freaking hot against his chest that he can't stand it.

"Oh God," he says out loud this time. He hits the mailman with a semi-truck before muttering, "I have to go."

He locks himself in the bathroom and thinks he's in the clear until she knocks on the door. "Are you okay?" She demands.

He peaks beneath the waistband of his boxer shorts and sees that there has been some irreversible damage. "I think you should go," he calls against the door. "I've got to do my homework."

Crap. He sucks at lying.

Finn lays on her bed pretending to do his homework, but she knows he's probably just drawing elaborate doodles of some comic book super hero or video game villain or whatever teenage boys waste their fantasies on.

"Do you think of Coach Bieste?"

He breaks his pencil.

"What?"

"When we're kissing… do you ever think of Coach Bieste to cool off?"

He shakes his head frantically. "No. Never."

"Oh," she says because it's kind of disappointing that he doesn't need any help resisting her.

Surprisingly Finn catches on to her uncertainty because he replies with, "I have my own methods."

She takes this moment to stroke her ego, a moment she will never pass up. "Like what?"

"I hit a mailman with my car once," he says.

She glares.

"Is that why you sometimes run away when we're kissing... because of Coach Bieste or the mailman or whatever?"

He swallows thickly and for some reason it makes her feel… empowered. "Sometimes."

"Oh," she says quietly. A smile starts to form across her lips. Was that why he ran away last week when she stripped him to his underwear? Or all those times last summer when he would jump into the lake even though he was still wearing his shoes? Or the first time he kissed her in the auditorium? "I didn't realize I had that affect on you."

He shrugs. "Well, yeah."

"Girls have feelings too you know," she says off handedly. It's not like she doesn't picture various Broadway shows closing before she has a chance to make a name in the starring role.

"You have a strange way of showing it," he mumbles.

She catches herself staring at his crotch.

"Just because I'm not ready to… you know. Doesn't mean there aren't other things that we could do."

She can hear his breath go uneven and it makes her feel… powerful. "Like what?" He chokes out.

"I could touch you." She says carefully.

He frowns. "You touch me all the time, Rachel."

She approaches him and sinks down onto the bed beside him. "I can touch you like you do," she says walking her fingers up his thigh.

"Oh," he says as her intentions finally become clear to him. His entire body tightens until his shoulders are touching his ears. "Oh!" He repeats in a quick bark.

She smirks.

Mailman.

He can't get the sight of her legs off his mind. That's all he could look at when she was signing that song with that hot substitute, even when there were guns and explosions and stuff. Her legs looked awesome.

And so when they get back to her house he can't wait a second longer. He pulls her tight against him and kisses her until their legs collapse and their kissing on the floor and it's like the coolest and hottest thing they've ever done.

But then she stops it and then she tells him. She's a virgin, which is great because now she won't have anything to compare it to. She'll think it's really good because she won't know what it's supposed to be like. But then she says it: "We can save it for each other."

He flinches.

"Awesome!"

He has to tell her.

He only did it one time. It's not like he'd come off as some suave expert. That's what Puck would tell him, "Who cares, you'll suck no matter what, not like it's going to make a difference."

He has to tell her.

It's so unfair though because he didn't even like it. He regretted it like the second it happened and he's not sure how it could even count. It was over before it began, she told him that kissing was lame, and he didn't even take his shirt off. How can it count if he didn't even get his shirt off?

He shakes his head. He has to tell her.

No matter what he says though, she's going to break up with him. She is just so not going to be cool with this.

He has to tell her.

He doesn't tell her.

There's something about weddings that are so magical. She takes in every detail and makes notes for how her wedding to Finn will be when they're 24 or when her publicist says she needs her name in the papers.

Finn is amazing. So loving and brave and caring and giving. She feels dizzy just staring at him tonight.

She's not sure what she's waiting for anymore. He loves her, they're in love, they told each other so just that afternoon. He's not going to leave her, he's not going to humiliate her, they're together and they're happy and they love each other. She doesn't want to wait anymore. She can't wait a second longer. She has to show him how much she loves him.

"Maybe 25 is too long to wait," she murmurs while they dance to a slow song. All he has to do is sway slowly, nothing too challenging and he's perfect at it. He's perfect at everything in her eyes.

"What?"

She stops dancing and looks into his eyes, "I'm ready." She says like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Tonight."

"What, no," he steps away from her. "We can't."

This was not the reaction she expected. "Why not?"

"It's my mother's wedding day, we can't do that."

"Doesn't it make it more romantic?" She asks. "Weddings are so beautiful and memorable and she won't even notice that you're missing."

The color has drained from his face and he looks panicked. She doesn't get it. He should be doing well rehearsed back flips or throwing a ticker tape parade.

"I don't have a…" he begins.

"I stole one from Brittany's purse; she had an industrial sized box in there."

"Um…" he begins to sway, but he's not dancing anymore. Suddenly he lurches forward and pukes right in front of her feet.

She shrieks. "Are you drunk?" She bitingly whispers.

"Um, yeah," he says. "I'm totally wasted."

She frowns, "That's funny. I didn't even see you drinking."

"Me neither," he shrugs, "must not have been sparkling cider after all." He stumbles all grandly, like she would if she were putting on a performance. She wonders if he's faking but there's no way he could be. She offered him sex after all. "I think I'm too gone to… you know."

But she was ready.

He feels like he's been hit by a mail truck. The wind gets knocked out of his lungs and he tries to breathe again but he can't. She's going to break up with him. He's just waiting for her to say it. It's going to happen she's going to do it. And it makes him mad.

What right does she have to break up with him? He didn't do anything wrong. Sure he lied to her but it's not like he wanted to. He slept with Santana to make her jealous but when she told him that she slept with Jesse it didn't seem worth it. It hurt too much.

"Tell her you only slept with her because she was bragging about doing the Douche," Puck tells him. "You've still got all the power."

He groans. She knows he loves her. He tells her all the time. Why is she making such a big deal of this? Who cares how hot Santana is? It's not like she's his girlfriend. He's dating Rachel. He wants to date Rachel. Why doesn't she get this?

Santana skips by him and winks at him. He almost laughs. Why would he ever want to date Santana? He thinks to himself as he watches her pass. She's awful and she's mean and she's not Rachel.

He's going to fix this; he's going to make things work. He needs Rachel. She's the only person who makes him feel good about himself and who has never let him down. Everybody always uses him for his popularity or his singing or his insurance policy, but not Rachel, she's totally awesome and she loves him more than anything.

But then she kisses Puck.

There aren't enough chairs in the school for him to kick over.

His first instinct is to find Santana. To drive her over to Rachel's house and bang the crap out of her on Rachel's bed. But he knows that won't help. He's tried that before and it didn't make him feel better. It made him feel hallow and empty. He wishes he felt that way right now.

All he feels now is this tightness in his chest. Could this be a heart attack? Should he see a doctor? He thinks throwing himself off a bridge is a better cure.

Never again. He's never doing this again.

She rearranges the cookies on the platter. There's no one left in Mr. Schuester's kitchen except for her and Finn and she thinks she may explode if she doesn't say anything.

"Are those your famous sugar cookies?" He asks allowing her to exhale the breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

"Um, yeah, we always prepare a batch for the holidays." She extends the tray and smiles sweetly. "Want one?"

He nods and picks one off the platter. "Cool."

"Look, I know it's a little early but I've already made my New Year's resolution," she says shyly. She wants to look at him but knows she'll start crying if she does.

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to give you space," she explains. "I've been so focused on making things right between us that I haven't respected your feelings. My resolution is to be more mindful and to give you time."

He grins and it's the first time she's seen him happy in what seems like forever (even though it's only been two weeks). "Thanks."

"I'm not giving up on us though," she says quietly.

He takes a second cookie off the tray and eats it in one bite. "Good," he says before grabbing the last bowl of popcorn to take out to the living room.

As the club gathers around Mr. Schuester's Christmas tree she catches his eye for a brief moment. He grins at her and every instinct she has tells her to pounce him and to make him love her again. But she doesn't. She lets the moment pass. She gives him time.

And for the first time in two weeks she knows that things will be okay.