Ch 7

(Eli's POV)

"Are you sure they were tampons?" I asked. Clare is now getting suspicious of Adam's secret.

I needed to play dumb because I swore to Drew that I'd never tell anyone. Friends don't break promises. Well, friends also don't constantly blow another off because their girlfriend wanted to spend time with them. Apparently, I'm not good enough for Drew. His new group consists of my ex girlfriend, the guy who stole my ex girlfriend, and Ali. But that doesn't mean I'd, too, pretend to forget what actual friends do.

"Yeah, but I mean, what would he need them for?" she pondered.

"Nose bleeds?" The oldest trick in this type of excuse. On the other hand, tampons do work like a charm for them.

Out of nowhere, Adam popped up. He just stood there, looking both of us directly in the eye. He must've overheard everything.

"Hey, thanks for covering Clare. That wasn't cool of me," Adam graciously greeted.

"Ah, don't sweat it. But I'm just going to lay it out, what exactly was I covering?" Clare hinted. She can hint all she wants; Adam is not going to say anything. Adam just took a deep breath and could possibly reveal the truth.

"You don't have to explain. It's none of our business," I quickly assured. I didn't want to pressure him if he wasn't ready, though.

"It's okay, I want to tell you," he nodded and took a seat across from us on the picnic table.

(Clare's POV)

"Questions? Anything, go ahead," he eased after he told us the story of how he was an FTM. Wow. I was literally floored. I knew Adam had some quirks about him but I didn't know he was born in a girl's body. Poor guy.

I gave the stare down at Eli but he was literally silent. I guess he was just as shocked as I am. I'm surprised he wouldn't ask anything, though, considering his religious background.

"But wouldn't that technically make you a dyke?" I asked. I didn't mean to sound like a bitch, but I was just throwing out the terms people might call him. The people who were ignorant of course, the type I despise.

"No, I like girls. Since I'm a guy between the ears, that makes me straight. At least I think so," Adam gravely replied. I didn't mean to insult him; I was just asking a question!

"Cool," I said in attempt to not try to offend him. "How long have you known?" This put light in the kid's eyes and made him smile.

"Since I was four, five. I hated wearing dresses or having long hair," he explained.

"Well, how do you know you're not a tomboy, or a lesbian?" Eli finally asked. Seriously? I have short hair and don't like wearing frilly dresses. Does that make me a lesbian? Of all the nerve, too. He has longer hair than most guys, wears more decent clothes than most guys, and drives a Volvo. Does that make him gay? No, I don't think so.

"I just know," Adam cooly answered.

"Does anyone else know? Besides Drew and the rest of your family of course," Eli interrogated.

As Adam went on explaining about his teachers and the principal knowing, I started thinking. Thinking about Julian. I knew it was a bad time considering the heavy stuff Adam just confessed but I couldn't help it. Ever since I've been having these close encounters with Eli, I've actually been thinking about Julian more and more. This morning, I actually wanted to literally press my lips against Eli's. I need to face the facts and treat him only as a friend.

"Hold it. Does this mean Eli can't let one rip in front of you?" I teased. That would be a start, I think. He just rolled his eyes.

"I'd be insulted if Eli didn't. But I don't think he's man enough to do so anyway," Adam teased back.

"No, I'm just not disgusting like that," Eli frowned as we knuckled.

"You're just jealous," I finished. Adam gave me one of those grateful smiles.

(Eli's POV)

I started trotting on toward the parking lot. I forgot one of my notebooks in my car and there was a homework assignment in there that happened to be due next period. That's when I saw Adam, dressing as Gracie, with an object he was pressing against his skin. Please tell me he wasn't cutting himself!

I rushed over there and cried, "What are doing?" Adam quickly took the hairclip, I think, and the lighter. He was burning himself, wasn't he? I sat down and quickly grabbed his arm and observed all the other burn marks. The tears in his eyes had a soft spot for me.

"Adam-" I was speechless.

"If I'm Gracie, everything's easier, right? For everyone," he excused. "When I was her, I used to burn myself to let out all the anger." This is what Drew meant by Adam being the most miserable when he was Gracie. I should've known it was this horrible.

"But you're not her," I tried to help but I honestly didn't know how to. I've truly never been in a situation like this.

"I have to be her! For my mom, my family, for everyone." Not everyone, including me, Drew, and Clare. His mom always has to be such a pushover. "I'm trying so hard."

"You don't have to change. Everyone else does," I pointed out. "Come on, let me drive you home." It was the best I could do, and screw the homework assignment. This was more important.

"Not in these clothes," Adam stated.

I grabbed his arm and said, "Follow me, I have an extra sweatshirt in my locker." He nodded his head and he wiped away his tears. Together, we headed inside the school.

(Clare's POV)

"I do love a bonfire," I admitted.

"I thought it was a good way to say goodbye to Gracie without hurting myself," he declared. That's good enough for me.

"What did your counselor say?" Eli asked as he was standing there, watching us.

"We're going to try really hard so that doesn't happen again," Adam answered as he stood up. Since everyone else up, might as well join the crowd. All of a sudden, I hear this "Wooooooop!" What the hell was that? Is there a bird that decided to watch this burial. I turned around. Oh.

It was Drew and their parents. I looked at Eli and smiled. I could tell he was too startled by Drew's strange entrance noises. I bet Ali adores that, knowing her.

"Force them to come?" Adam retorted.

"Nope. But we have some ugly ass clothes to burn," Drew chuckled. I saw him give the head nod to Eli as he gave Gracie's clothes to Adam. I knew their friendship has been strained ever since he and Ali started going out. I know what that's like. My best friend, Marissa, from last year couldn't handle my time always being occupied with Julian. I don't blame her either. That's why I'm trying to keep my girl friendship with Ali, even though she's the head cheerleader. Technically, she's head because Chaneyney, or something like that, got striped off her title. The details are blurry in my mind at the moment.

"Not ready to burn it?" I stopped spacing out and looked over to Eli's shoulder. He was referring to a photograph in Adam's hand.

"It'll still me," he finished.

(Eli's POV)

After the ceremony, Drew tapped me on the shoulder.

"Hey, long time no see," Drew patted me on the back. Adam and Clare were talking with his parents next to the gate.

"No really," I grumbled.

"What's your problem, Goldsworthy?" he snapped.

"I'm surprised you even showed up. Did you decide to take a breather from Ali's tongue?" I fumed.

"Stop acting like a little bitch," he maintained to keep his voice low.

"You're the one who practically ditches me every time Ali calls. What, do you expect me to act like everything's all good?" I retorted.

"No. Look, I just wanted to say sorry about that. Ok?" Drew saying sorry? That does not happen. Let me rephrase that, it never does. Every argument or fight we've been in, I'm the only one who always had to find the mistake I made and come clean about it.

"What made you want to apologize all of a sudden?" I asked.

"You've been one hell of a helping hand to Adam. And all the while, I've been both a shitty friend and brother. So that made me want to apologize all of a sudden. And to say thank you, for being there for him, when I couldn't be," he sighed.

"Hey, you're the one who put one heck of a fight up with Owen and Fitz," I tried to ease.

"I swear, you always have a Mr. Nice Guy line loaded up. Eli, are you sure you're not some guardian angel missionary or something sent from God to save the Torres family?" he questioned.

"Thank you, but no. Anyway, so now that we're officially on speaking terms…"

"Meaning, we're back to being friends?" he interrupted.

"I wouldn't say that," we both smiled. Drew gave me one of those hugs that you would probably see from those fake bromance moments but this one was definitely real. I broke the hug when I saw Clare coming up to us.

"Sorry to interrupt but I need to get home soon. And, since you are my ride and all," Clare hinted.

"Right, well I guess we better get going," I interjected as Drew patted me on the back. What on earth was that for?

"Drew, should Ali be worried?" Clare raised her eyebrow in that sarcastic manner that she could pull of so well.

"Haha, oh yeah. Eli's pretty hard to resist. Especially with his collared shirts and his oh so sexy crooked smile. Makes me go WILD!" Drew squealed. This is so embarrassing. "So, Clare, I think you should get him while he's up for grabs!" Only best friends enjoy embarrassing someone. Welcome back, Torres.

"Um-uh, yeah. You know, I'll keep that in mind," Clare left before anything more can be said.

"I resent you!" I gritted.

"I know. The red cheeks in your face have showed," Drew noted. Now I'm blushing, that puts the icing on the cake.

"Why? In front of her?"

"Dude you like her, don't you?" Drew looked genuinely serious when he asked that.

"Is that some kind of hypothetical question?"

"No, I mean you like her a lot, right?" He's made countless jokes about this and now he is asking me like he has no clue. All right, I'll play along.

"You have no idea," I sighed. I looked over to Clare talking to Adam, next to the fence, and we kept a good long eye contact.

"And you haven't hit that because…?" Eye contact with Clare broke. I took a look at Drew and his Neanderthal of a comment.

"Don't talk about her like that!" I defended. I didn't want Drew to use words like that for Clare. It just didn't fit with her.

"Holy shit, you like her that much?" he gasped.

"For the 50th time, yes I do. Now will you please stop using foul words and Clare in the same sentence, thank you." I didn't know what I was saying. Even that sounded a little too neurotic for me. I liked Clare but I still needed to keep the guy in me running.

"I'll wash my mouth. Anyway, seriously, how come you're stalling to ask her out? This is like last year's case all over again," Drew brought up.

"I beg to differ."

"Not like that. The concept is the same: you like girl, girl likes you, everyone knows this, and yet no one does anything. Have some game for once," Drew melodramatically pointed out.

"Fine. I can't do it now, though, since Adam just came to terms with himself. I'm not the type of person to jump to my impulses you know."

"I've been around you well enough to know the drill. Now come on, you better give your sweety a ride. Maybe you'll go for a drive and who knows, maybe you'll get to first base!" Drew winked. I fake punched him and felt the heat in my cheeks get even hotter. "Okay, okay, I'm done," he raised his arms as if he were surrendering. I walked away and went to Clare. We both knew well enough that we were back to being best buds.

We said our goodbyes to Adam but they were quick because this was his time with his family. Clare and I are smart enough to respect that.

"So did you and Drew finally kiss and make up?" Clare asked as we got into my car. I nodded as we went to talk about how judgmental people can be to the ones who are different. Well, she did, I just listened and nodded my head. If only she knew how much I wanted to kiss her.