A/N: The word kidlets and bratlings came from my 9th grade teacher who is really young and doesn't have kids of her own. She hates bodily functions that much so she calls us her kidlets instead.
And damn, that's a lot of reviews! I didn't think that my story would be this popular! I tried really hard to update so I hope you guys enjoy the new chapter!
Disclaimer: I would love for Kanda to be my boyfriend/lover/friend but Allen has already filled in that role and I would hate to see them apart.
Chapter 2: Our New Nanny is a…!
Allen had fallen out of his chair and had to suffer little fists beating incessantly on his chest in an attempt to dislodge the pancake stuck in his throat.
"Live, Allen-nanny!" Lavi shouted like the paramedics he saw on tv. He punched his fists into Allen's chest just like them too for added effect. "Live!"
Lenalee started crying as she assisted Lavi in beating Allen's chest. "Live, Allen!"
The pancake had long gone down his throat and Allen was trying frantically to catch his breath but as each thump beat down, he felt the oxygen that he desperately needed be pushed out from him.
"S-Stop!" Allen huffed, groping the air urgently. "STOP!"
"He's... alive!" Lavi cackled like that one movie he saw on tv.
"Yay, he's alive!" Lenalee shouted joyfully, throwing her little arms into the air in celebration.
Allen sat up and took a few precious deep breaths. His head swam from the lack of air and he allowed himself a few moments before turning back to expectant faces.
"Allen-nanny, why did you choke?" Lavi asked innocently with heartrendingly sad green eyes. "Do you not want to be our new mommy? Yu-papa would love you because me and Lenalee love you."
Lenalee nodded furiously. "Daddy would love you for sure!"
Allen thought it was sweet how accepting they were of him. They were so beautiful and kind; their father must be just as caring and compassionate to raise such lovely children. He secretly envied them because of his lost childhood. He would never know what it would be like to be a true child but taking care of the twins made him relive the happier moments of his own past, ones without Cross.
"I'm sorry but I don't think that I can be your mommy," Allen said serenely, patting their hair. "There must be someone out there better than me." Like a woman, Allen said in his mind. "So how about I umm… help you find a better mommy?"
He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. Lavi and Lenalee sucked in their breaths and their eyes widened as if they had been stabbed.
Holy shit, Allen Walker, he thought anxiously. What the hell are you getting yourself into?
"Why?" Lavi inquired desperately, grabbing Allen's shirt front. "Allen-nanny is the perfect mommy! You care about us right?"
Expectant violet and emerald eyes stared up at him. His will crumbled under their gaze. In a matter of hours, Allen felt himself being pulled in by their adorable faces. He knew he could never say 'no' to them now.
"I do, I do," Allen appeased, trying hard to reason with them, "But you've only known me for a few hours. Maybe in the future, you'll want a better mommy."
Lenalee and Lavi gave him a look of pure horror as if he had said blasphemy. There was a long silence and Allen shrunk under their gaze.
"Do you hate us because we're not perfect?" Lavi asked despondently, ignoring Allen's explanation.
"We're sorry if we played pranks on the mean lady who popped my ball!" Lenalee wailed. Lavi caught on quickly and followed with his own declaration.
"I'm sorry for making the dishwasher machine explode!" Lavi shouted. And at once, Lenalee and Lavi began confessing every little sin they could think of. Allen felt his eye twitch as the children went into detail about every trick they had pulled against their nannies. He was amazed at how creative they were in their plans of getting rid of their nannies.
"I'm sorry that I put bubblegum in nanny number twenty-seven's hair!" Lavi screamed.
This is quite enough, Allen sighed internally, rubbing his temples.
"Lavi, Lenalee," Allen hushed. When they ignored him and continued their tirade, he tried again. "Lavi, Lenalee!" They continued to ignore him. By now, Lenalee was in tears and Lavi's cheeks had turned bright red with the effort of reciting every single wrongdoing. Allen sighed and quickly pulled both children into a hug. "Calm down," Allen whispered. The fact that Allen had hugged them and talked to them quietly seemed to have a profound effect on the twins. Immediately, they stopped and stared at him with wonder.
Lenalee put her thumb in her mouth, a gesture she did after crying or when she was confused. Lavi's gaze went from Lenalee to Allen and back to Lenalee again. No one had been able to calm her down as quickly as Allen except for their father and sometimes, Marie.
Allen hugged Lenalee and Lavi a little closer and gave them each a soft gaze. Their attention stood riveted on Allen.
"I don't hate you and it's not because you're not perfect," Allen murmured in the same soothing voice. "It's because I'm not the perfect mother. You little children deserve someone better. So please stop crying."
"But you are the perfect mommy!" Lenalee insisted, pulling her thumb from her mouth and tugging his shirt as if to keep him grounded to her.
"Yeah, yeah!" Lavi affirmed, tugging the other side of his shirt. "You make us pancakes, and you are nice to us, and you're so pretty! Like Cinderella in that movie!"
The last part came out as odd to Allen. No one had called him pretty before. He was called adorable yes, but never pretty. And he had never been compared to Disney Princesses either. A thought struck Allen and his chrome-plated eyes widened.
"Wait, you children do know that I'm male, right?" Allen asked uncertainly. Blank, curious stares answered him. He felt a lump form in his throat.
"What does 'male' mean?" Lenalee piped up with large violet eyes.
Please don't tell me... Allen begged mentally.
"It means that I'm a man," Allen explained patiently. In his mind, he desperately held on to his last threads of masculinity.
Lenalee's and Lavi's eyes widened. Allen felt his stomach sink in dread. No freaking way.
"EH?" they shouted in disbelief. It was appalling how quickly Allen felt all his manly pride fall before him.
Lavi squirmed out of Allen's arms and poked Allen's chest. Lenalee patted Allen's face and touched his arms in a curious manner. She tugged on his white hair and examined the strands as if they held the mystery to his androgyny. All through this examination, Allen felt his pride sink lower and lower as if he was physically being beaten.
"You're a guy!" Lavi yelped in incredulity.
Oh dear Lord, Allen thought with alarm. They thought I was a woman!
Years of poker experience was the only thing that kept Allen from breaking down and staying in some corner of the room. He took a few deep calming breaths, holding his nose between thumb and forefinger to stop an incoming migraine and then faced Lenalee and Lavi again.
"Yes, I am a male," Allen repeated with a small, wavering smile. He saw both of their small bodies wilt with disappointment and panicked again. "I'm really sorry but I can't be your mommy."
Both Lenalee and Lavi looked downtrodden and heartbroken as they huddled close to him. Even they knew that the prince didn't fall in love with the other prince in the fairytales.
"But I like Allen," Lenalee sniffled. "I want him to be our mommy!"
"I want Allen-nanny to be our mommy too!" Lavi bawled. Allen felt his shirt become soaked with tears and snot. He felt tired and drained all of a sudden even though it had only been hours since he had been given care of the children.
I never knew how hard it was to take care of kids. Allen thought. He felt even more reverence for the apparition father in his imagination. Surely the father of the twins had an immense amount of patience to deal with them.
He went to the table and searched from two napkins. He held them to their noses.
"Blow," he commanded. Lavi and Lenalee stopped and did as Allen asked. Their combined blows sounded like twin foghorns and made Allen laugh. "All better?"
Both of them nodded slowly but their faces told him everything.
Allen hugged them both. "There, there. I'm still your nanny so I'll be here for as long as you want."
"Really?" Lenalee brightened a little. "Forever?"
"Really," Allen repeated firmly.
"Pinky promise?" Lavi asked, holding out his pinky.
"Yeah," Allen grinned, and hooked his own pinky with Lavi's. He stood up all of a sudden and clapped his gloved hands together. "Now who wants to go out and play?"
"Me!" both Lenalee and Lavi shouted at the same time.
"We don't want to take a nap!" Lavi scowled. Lenalee held her green ball to her chest and mimicked her brother's expression. Nice nanny/ future mommy or not, Lavi and Lenalee hated bedtime with as much passion as breakfast time and there was nothing Allen could do to persuade them to sleep.
Allen had tried picking them up but they sat firmly on the ground and refused to move. He tried bribing them with promises of more playtime when they woke up but Lavi pointed out that they could play now and Allen's compromise fell at his feet. He tried sheer begging because his pride couldn't have been more bruised than having children doubt his gender but the twins weren't persuaded.
Allen collapsed on the couch from exhaustion. Lenalee and Lavi sulked with petulant faces. Usually their nannies gave up by now or got so aggravated that they stormed out of the room and left them to put their newest prank in place.
Allen sat up as if a revelation hit him upside the head. The twins stared at him curiously.
"Do you have a piano in the house?" Allen asked hopefully.
Lenalee and Lavi exchanged confused glances and telepathic looks. They both nodded and took Allen's hand. Down a few corridors and up a few staircases later, Allen found himself standing at a pair of white double doors. The doors were covered with carvings of a war scene. Allen's eyes widened and he examined the carving; it seemed to be about two sides: one with demons and another with warriors in robes of some type. Each demon look about the same except for a few in the back. One man was exceptionally fat, Allen noted, and had the largest yet most menacing grin he had ever seen. On the other side, Allen could see that each warrior had a different weapon: one had a hammer that looked like it had fire spewing from it, one had boots that looked as if they were propelling her into the air, and yet another had an arm that was a huge claw that blocked his face from view.
They look like Lenalee and Lavi! Allen noted with a stagger.
"That's me and Lenalee as grown-ups!" Lavi pointed at the man with the hammer and the woman with the boots.
"That's Daddy!" Lenalee squealed and pointed at a carving of a man with long hair, holding a sword and slashing some ball-shaped monster with cannons protruding out of its body.
"Yeah!" Lavi nodded. "Tiedoll- and Panda-jiji carved this for us. Daddy said he saw this in a dream once!"
"It's umm... very detailed and very pretty," Allen replied with trepidation. Lavi must have noticed the tone of his voice because he ushered Allen towards the door.
"The mean lady got a piano and put it in here," Lavi explained.
"Mean lady?" Allen voiced out but didn't get any further as Lavi stood back and allowed Allen to push open the ornate double doors.
It was a huge ballroom with crystal chandeliers and marble flooring and in the corner, there was a white grand piano. Lights bounced off of its lacquered lid from the floor to ceiling windows that made little fragmented rainbows on the floor.
"It's for dec-... dec-decoration," Lenalee pronounced slowly, scrunching her face in concentration at the hard word she was trying to say.
Lenalee and Lavi hopped up onto the sofa and watched with rapt attention as Allen opened the piano lid and tested out the keys. The sound rang all the way across the room, making it sound loud and grand. He adjusted the seat a little and turned to the twins.
"Would you like to hear something?" Allen asked though he already knew the answer. Both children nodded quickly and with anticipation.
His fingers positioned themselves on the keys and he launched himself into a lullaby he had composed himself as a young child.
Song after song, most of them soft tunes or lullabies, he played until his fingers ached and until he could see the twins slowly drift to sleep. Allen stopped, the music ceasing as if cut by a knife, and padded quietly to the sofa. He gently picked both of the children up, tucked them under his chin, and headed for their room.
Inside were two beds, one on each side of the wall. One side of the room was bright green while the other side was cheerily purple. Toys and books littered the ground and it took a huge amount of effort to navigate around the room without tripping.
Both Lenalee and Lavi whined and whimpered when he tried to separate them and put them in their respective bed. In the end, he gave up and pushed the beds together to form a double bed.
Allen smiled gently when both children stared at him with sleepy eyes. He set them down and pulled the blanket over them.
"Go to sleep now," Allen whispered. He had tucked Lenalee in and was about to leave after tucking in Lavi when Lavi grabbed his hand. Allen stopped and gave him an inquiring look.
"Allen-nanny," Lavi said hesitantly, small cherubic voice laced with sleep. "You're… not a bad nanny."
That single line made Allen's heart soar. A broad smile made its way on Allen's face and his cheeks turned bright pink with joy.
"Thank you, Lavi," Allen answered, happiness barely restrained in his voice.
Lenalee made a small whining noise from her side of the room and Allen went to check on her side. Like Lavi, she grabbed his hand and looked at his through half-lidded eyes.
"Will you stay with us, Allen?" Lenalee asked sleepily. Allen's silver orbs softened. The child was teetering on the verge of sleep, big violet eyes drooping ever so slowly. Her hold on his hand slackened ever so slightly.
"Of course," Allen replied, smoothing her beautiful black hair down. "Now go to sleep."
"Stay with us, Allen-nanny?" Lavi murmured. "Will you still be here when we get up?"
"I'll be right here when you wake up," Allen assured. Both children grabbed his hands, one in each and after Allen gave them dozens of reassurances, they closed their eyes. He settled himself comfortably on the edge of the bed. Even when they were fast asleep and Allen felt his legs go numb, he couldn't bring himself to leave their side.
Kanda came home and was mildly surprised that there was no screaming, crying, or spouting mess of any sort in his house. He slowly set his keys on the table and waited for the incoming screams of Lenalee and Lavi as they ran away from their new nanny but that never came. The mansion was eerily silent.
Warily, he checked all the rooms and found them all to be in one piece. Whoever Cross had recommended had either been so shitty that she had quit as soon as she saw the children or so fucking fantastic that she was able to calm them down enough not to wreck the mansion. Personally, Kanda thought it was the former and smirked at the thought.
He entered the children's room to find a small boy (or girl?) sleeping by Lavi's and Lenalee's bedsides. Their beds had been pushed close again to form a double bed (something they always did on the sly) and both the boy's (of girl's) hands were each taken by Lavi and Lenalee.
What made Kanda twitch though was the boy's (or girl's) appearance. Hair as white as fresh snow covered the person's pale face which was marked by an ugly scar that ran across from the person's brow to his/her left cheek. The person wore white gloves despite the warm weather, Kanda noted, obviously to hide something. In short, this person was a freak.
At the sound of the door opening, the boy (or girl? He still couldn't tell) stirred and stared at him with groggy chrome-plated eyes.
"Good morning sir," he (Kanda decided it was a boy by the deep voice) greeted. "You must be Kanda Yu."
He made a move to stand up but Lenalee whimpered when he tried to extricate his hand from hers. Allen smiled apologetically and gently removed his hand from hers and Lavi's. He got up and winced when his limbs popped back in place. Allen stretched and elicited more popping sounds as Kanda sneered in disgust and left the room. Allen blinked in confusion and shrugged his shoulders. He walked out and shut the door as Kanda waited for him in the hall.
"Hello, I'm Allen Walker, your new nanny," Allen introduced and held out a hand. Kanda stared at it with an expression he could not read but Allen was not discouraged.
Here was the celebrated father of the beautiful, sweet, kind little children he was taking care of. Sure the scowl was a bit off-putting but Allen was never one for first impressions. He was sure that Kanda was the nicest person in the world. His children were testament of how kind and fatherly he could be.
"What the fuck is a moyashi freak like you doing with my children?" Kanda snapped, unbridled anger etched on his face.
Say what now? Allen thought with bewildered eyes. The only thing was, he had said it aloud too and by the looks of it, his new employer was about to deck him in the face.
Holy shit...
A/N: Hate it? Love it? Continue it?
Please review!
AH! I'm super sorry but for some reason, this chapter was deleted when I checked on it this morning! So sorry to those who weren't able to find this chapter! I've re-uploaded it and while I was at it, made a few small changes.