Code Name Sailor Moon?
Disclaimer: I don't own any thing with a copyright that you would see or see allusions to.
TTG:Thanks to sparrowflyaway for reviewing! In response to your review well, I did it for the giggle factor really.
That and it's my way of poking fun at the fact in Sailor Moon the scouts were virtually identical to their civilian forms and not even in a Clark Kent/Superman way. At least Clark Kent seemed to put some effort into that disguise (though not much: glasses? come on!).
I will also take this time to let anyone reading this know that this will be a short fic and was partly inspired by the DC Elseworld's comic called Superman: Secret Identity, which itself was only four issues long. Now onto what anyone reading this is here for: The chapter!
2: By Jovians, I think we've got it
After my abrupt transformation into the real life version of Sailor Moon, I didn't have time to gush because Molly and Serena were about to be crushed by the monster.
"Hey ugly, over here!" I yelled. It was after I was able to make out details on it that I realized that my night vision had improved drastically. This thing looked like 'The Blob' and 'The Creature from the Black Lagoon' had an ugly baby together, its scaly head and beady eyes looked right at me.
"Who the heck are you supposed to be?" asked a voice as a floating man appeared. He looked a good deal like Jarred East.
"Same goes for you, blondie," I said.
"In case you haven't noticed, you're blonde too," the man said, "But I'm Jedite, you are?"
"Sailor Moon, who do you think?" I snapped. Now the only thing I really knew about Sailor Moon, aside from what she and her 'inners' looked like, was her signature attack. I pulled off my tiara and said,
"Moon Tiara Magic!" as I threw it like a discus, Jedite was able to avoid it but the blob/lagoon thing couldn't. It crumbled into dust like a vamp that had just been staked on Buffy the Vampire Slayer before my tiara returned to my hand.
"Care to try that on me little girl?" Jedite asked appearing next to me so suddenly that I leapt a few feet in the air, but I was smart enough to scramble away.
"Don't throw you tiara, it won't work on him!" Molly yelled, "That was in the sixth episode of the anime. You'd need an airplane to kill him or at least Sailor Mars!"
"Thanks, uh, citizen but everyone needs to scram!" I yelled over my shoulder before I threw my tiara at the doors, destroying a crystal barrier that had formed, which explained why people hadn't simply fled outside when the monster attacked. I caught the magical weapon again and saw Jedite had vanished.
"Boo!" He said as he reappeared next to me making me jump.
"Jupiter Supreme Thunder Crash!"
"Thunderbird strike!" a pair of voices yelled as he was suddenly electrocuted. That and they'd frizzed out my hair.
"Nice going," a voice said. I turned to see in the panicked room was three other forms. One was wearing a black and gold version of what the fried creep had been wearing: Black with gold panels down the sides of his pants. The other was wearing a green and maroon version of that, and he looked a lot like Nick West, just as the guy who'd been electrocuted had looked like Jarred East, only he looked like Nick did as he did while wearing his wig. The third person was Sailor Jupiter.
"Let's get out of here," I said.
"Damn, I wish we had a Mercury," said Jupiter as we fled. The man in black in gold looked just like Darien Prince, I finally noticed but just like with the fried creep and our green and maroon wearing friend, the ones they looked like were clearly in view, just as I knew that Jupiter was not Lyta (thank God) because I wasn't Serena (thank God again).
In the chaos the cops had arrived and the kids had spilled out into the night. We found a place to hide and de-transform. My jaw dropped whenever I saw Eddy was the Darien look alike and Andy was Sailor Jupiter. The boy who was in maroon and green was a friend of Eddy's, Edmund 'Ned' Jones. Ned was a tall lanky boy with bright blonde hair that was short and spiked, his dark blue eyes also filled with confusion.
"We'd better slip back into the chaotic crowds before people realize where we are," I said.
"Good idea, we'll all talk later," Eddy said.
The cops interviewed us and I lied about a lot of stuff, Andy too before we managed to make excuses to spend time with Eddy and Ned.
"So, now what?" asked Andy as we got into Ned's car.
"We talk to Mrs. Goodall. She's the one who told me to transform and I know she has something to do with this," I said as I pointed to my broach. There was golden broach on Andy's costume too with a green Jupiter sigil on it. The boys revealed golden manacles on their right wrists (Ned's had a green stone embedded in it on top, Eddy has a golden crystal) and no amount of tugging would get them off.
"Well If you're Sailor Moon that means you're the moon princess!" Andy said.
"Maybe, maybe not: we don't know if we are the incarnations of the characters or if we just have their powers," Ned said startling all of us.
"First we talk to Mrs. Goodall," I said.
The dance was on a school night so we were able to talk to her the next day. Eddy and Ned met up with me and Andy over an hour before the first bus was to arrive. Luckily, being a bibliophile, I knew that Mrs. Goodall, our librarian, would be there. She was waiting for us in the parking lot.
"Why?" I asked her.
"Why you and not the carbon copies are the senshi?" she asked.
"Well, not exactly what I was going to ask but that works too," I said.
"Evil from that universe has leaked here and your souls resonated with your counterparts in the original 'fictional' universe. Though I could have sworn you'd be Mercury," said Mrs. Goodall.
"Sorry for screwing up your plans," I snapped.
"No, you didn't mess anything up, you're just not who I thought you were," said Mrs. Goodall said.
"Is there a moon princess here?" asked Andy.
"Yes, it's Serena Moonstone," said Mrs. Goodall. Freaking unbelievable! I have to protect her! I knew that much about Sailor Moon.
"And I'm betting Darien Prince is the prince of Earth?" asked Ned in an equally disgusted tone.
"Also correct," Mr. Goodall, assistant librarian and husband of Mrs. Goodall said as he appeared.
"You're Luna and Artemis!" Andy said.
"Their incarnations, yes," said Mr. Goodall. Eddy was looking at them oddly and muttered something in fast French which made the pair look at him in shock.
"Such language," said Mrs. Goodall after she recovered.
"Eddy?" I asked.
"It's nothing," he said.
It was a tense few days after our unwilling conversion to the protectors of the Ice Bitch and her consort. But just because we had to protect them didn't mean anything had to change. And it didn't. Plus the blonde ditz was claiming she was Sailor Moon and she and Lyta had saved the day with Darien and Nick in tow blah, blah, blah. Molly was quick to bust her bubble though,
"If you're Sailor Moon then how was I next to you as you whimpered in fear while she was on the other side of the room dusting that blob thing, huh?" Molly said.
"I,she-we," Serena sputtered.
"Wow, you broke her, Mol," I said.
"Knock it off Ragmuffin," said Serena.
"Whatever," I said as I and the others walked away.
"At least my name doesn't sound like I'm trying to be something I'm not!" Serena said.
"Lena, calm down," said Molly as I stopped dead; it was hardly a secret that 'Lena' wasn't my real first name and that my very well hidden first name was something that I hated. Serena knew that name from brownies.
"My parents chose my name to honor my grandma, nothing more, nothing less," I replied without turning around.
"I'm leaving her ass to Chaos, universe be damned," Andy grumbled later.
"It's not like she knows your real name like she knows mine," I replied, "Though hers is derived from the word 'serene' and mine has mythological roots."
"So what's next, super friends?" asked Ned.
"We wait," I said as I looked over to Andy who nodded,
"The others will pop up in time," she said.
"So do why we all look like doubles of the bitch squad?" I asked.
"That's just coincidence in the case of the Jovians," said Mrs. Goodall startling all of us as we walked to the cafeteria for lunch.
"And for us?" Eddy asked.
"Royal Decoys," said Mrs. Goodall. Eddy got a dark look on his face and just kept walking in silence.
I was walking home alone, stupid move I know, and that's when Goon # 2 showed up.
"You're going to surrender your energy to Queen Beryl!" he said. He looked like Nick and Ned when transformed only his uniform was the same gray color as Jedite's had been.
"Seriously?" I said, "Buh-bye!" I sprinted away while he said some mumbo jumbo about stars. I slipped into an alley and said,
"Moon Prism Power!" Nude-transformation later and I was back to being a blonde in a mini-skirt and red boots. The guy and his monster arrived.
"Where'd that girl go?" he asked.
"I got her to safety," I replied, "Oh, I guess this is the part where you ask me who I am and I go into the dramatic 'In the name of the Moon I punish you speech?"
"What?" he said before I pulled off my tiara.
"Mars Fireball Ignite!"
"Firebird Talons Smite!"
Two more were added to our merry band as Nephlite was destroyed, or the guy Sailor Mars and Jadeite identified as Nephlite.
"Sailor Moon it's an honor or are you like us?" said Mars.
"Probably like you," I said, "Let's get out of here." Jadeite looked like Jedite only he wasn't evil and his uniform was red with yellow stripes down the sides of his pants.
I led them to an abandoned building and said,
"I'm this universe's Sailor Moon, and I'm betting you two are this universe's Sailor Mars and…uh, I don't know your name," I said.
"Jadeite, Heavenly King of the Far East," he said pointing to his katana.
"Let's de-transform and formally meet one another, so turn around blonde boy," I said.
"You're blonde too!" he replied.
"Only when I'm Sailor Moon," I said, "Now turn and if I catch you looking I'll neuter you."
We de-transformed and it revealed,
"Renee?" I said looking at my friend with her overly thick glasses.
"Not fair! The Sailor Moon hater is Sailor Moon!" she said. Next to her was red-neck Supreme Jimmy Tiberius-Kirkwood. Though I knew his real name, and had my own nick name for him.
"Hey, Jed Clampet," I said.
"Lena, it just had to be you," he replied in an annoyed tone.
"I'm not the princess by the way, Ice Bitch holds that honor." I added in.
"You're kidding me!" Renee said.
"I wish I was." I said.
"And her consort?" asked Renee.
"Prince," I replied, "Andy is Jupiter, Ned is Nephrite, Eddy is a double of Darien, whose name we don't know."
"Odd, so Eddy's Tuxedo Mask?" Renee asked excitedly.
"No tux, nor mask, just black and gold uniform like Jimmy's here," I said.
"Weird," Renee said.
Freak number 3 appeared as Me, Jupiter, and Mars were all out on patrol on a Saturday Night, the boys were on the other side of town.
"So you're the one destroying us," tittered an annoying woman's voice.
"Zoycite I presume?" asked Jupiter.
"You know of me, how quaint!" Zoycite said with another annoying titter.
"Mercury Bubble's Splash!"
"Fenrir Crystal Fang Bite!"
"Now Sailor Moon!" yelled a girl's voice, presumably Mercury. I shrugged and threw my tiara at the shadowy form of Zoycite only to hear her scream and the fog cleared revealing her male double who was a dead ringer for Zack North.
"Zoisite," said the guy bowing to us as Sailor Mercury just waved.
"So then there was four," I said.
We regrouped and it revealed that Mara was Mercury and Ezekiel "Zeke" Smith, the second biggest redneck in the school and Jimmy's cousin was Zoisite. The geeky redneck had on thick glasses and had his dark brown hair cropped short, his mint green eyes looking at Mara in shock.
"So I turned out to be the smart scout, big deal!" Mara muttered, "Why's the Sailor Moon Hater, Sailor Moon?"
"Irony," I replied, "What's worse is the Bitch Queen is the Moon Princess."
"Oh, HELL NO!" Mara said, "There is no way I'm serving a self-absorbed super bitch."
"We don't appear to have a choice," Andy said looking as angry as I felt.
"And if the pattern holds true, Malachite will appear and so will Sailor Venus along with Kunzite," said Eddy.
"So Mrs. Goodall mentioned some damn leak, right? Well why don't we have Mercury here find it and then seal it tighter than a fricken' drum to keep them out of our world?" I said.
"How did you know Mercury could do that?" asked Mara.
"I've seen maybe six episodes of the whole freaken' series and Mercury's job always seemed to be the analyst," I muttered.
"Right, but we'd need some nega-energy to analyze and we just deep-sixed our only sources until Malachite shows his bleached mug," said Mara.
"Until then we need to protect the Bitch Queen and her consort," said Andy.
"Heaven help us," Renee said.
"Notice how, so far, that all our allies are our respective inner circles?" Eddy asked me during lunch. We packed our lunches while the others bought theirs so we had time to talk.
"Now that you mention it, yeah, odd; wait you don't think that Molly's actually…?" I said.
"That and my friend Karl might be her counterpart," Eddy said his eyes flickering to where his diminutive friend sat, his silver eyes focused on the book of military strategy he held in his hands. Everyone knew what Karl wanted to do, despite his short stature, and I say, go for it. The little guy would make one heck of a secret weapon. The enemy wouldn't see him until it was too late! Ok, mean! And my nickname for him was "Reepicheep." Eddy usually called Karl,
"Hey, Mighty Mouse! Quit reading and go get in line or there won't be any food left!" Eddy said.
"Whatever you say, Goldilocks!" Karl said closing his book and setting it down before he got into line. Just as he did the room shook and the lights went out, which was no big deal as it was day light and the windows let in a lot of light. In the middle of the shadowed room appeared a white haired figure with gray on yellow eyes that I assumed was this Malachite figure from the fact his white hair looked bleached. And in following the trend of the other bad guys he looked like one of the Bitch Squad's consorts, in this case, the ultimate unobtainable guy Michael South, and lo and behold Michael was in plain view trying to valiantly protect Mina, while his counterparts did likewise for the other four.
"Serena Moonstone, surrender and I will let these people live!" Malachite said. SHIT! How the hell did the Negaverse find the Princess?
"Venus Crescent Beam Smash!"
"HAHH!" Two rays of light appeared and slammed into Malachite's side just as Jupiter, Mars, Mercury, Zoisite, Jadeite, and Nephrite burst out of the lunch line along with fog.
"Mars Fireballs Ignite!" Mars yelled aiming her hand at the doors blasting them open.
"Get out of here morons!" Mercury yelled as she spread a fog over the room,
"Look and I'll strangle you with your hair," I threatened before I threw my hand into the air,
"MOON PRISM POWER!" I yelled, my voice not my own. A rush later and I was Sailor Moon, and Serena Moonstone was staring directly at me in shock. Her consort was staring blankly at Eddy's transformed state reminding me of a pair of statues. The only thing I could think to say in such a situation that Eddy and I now found ourselves was,
"Well, shit."
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