Disclaimer: I don't own Glee

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Chapter Nine

Freedom

…

They hadn't touched for two days since they had that strange kiss. They barely talked, stopped holding hands, and they were starting to sing with other people rather than each other. The only thing they still did together was drive to and from school.

As distracted as he was with trying to cope with his feelings for glee's resident honorary girl, Finn didn't miss how unusual it was for Rachel not to say anything about their lack of communication, especially after his embarrassing faint the other day. She was just was distracted as he was.

Could she be having second thoughts on their relationship?

Considering his situation, breaking up didn't seem like such a bad idea as he thought it would be. Then again he couldn't assume that Rachel shared the same thoughts. Reading her was becoming tougher and tougher, she could be distracted by what pencil to use for her biology class for all he knew.

Was this that point in the relationship where passions 'fizzle out'?

He didn't need to think on it for long because she finally spoke up on their way to school.

"About the sex thing," her voice cut through Reefer Man playing quietly from his radio. "We don't have to do it."

"What?" he glanced at her. She was looking straight at him, with those troubled eyes she seemed to be wearing more and more recently. "But we…a-are you sure?" He didn't know whether to jump for joy or go to a corner and cry. He'd been wanting this for such a long time. Yet, now that he had the opportunity, he didn't know if he wanted it anymore. Rachel must have noticed or she wouldn't be calling it off now.

"It's just…" she took a deep breath, "well…there's something I need to tell you."

He glanced at her again. She was focused on her skirt, fingers fiddling, and worrying her lip. "Okay…" he lowered the volume of the music, giving her his full attention when he pulled to a stop at a red light, "what is it?"

"I…" she shut her eyes tightly, "things have been happening and…I kind of…we haven't talked much…I feel terrible about this, it's my fault and – and I'm so…so sorry…" she released a sob, burying her face in her hands.

Finn's face fell, caught off guard by his girlfriend's sudden break down. "Hey," he unbuckled himself and reached over to her trembling form, pulling her into his arms. She felt so tiny and fragile, completely unlike the fiery Rachel he knew. Shame and guilt filled him for forgetting her so easily. "It's my fault too," he said, running soothing hands up and down her back, "I haven't been paying much attention to you lately, I'm sorry."

"No…!" she shook her head roughly against his chest, "I'm a terrible girlfriend, I – "

"No you're not," he cut in firmly, "you the most awesomest, coolest, hottest girlfriend in the world, and I'm lucky you're even with me." He kissed her wet cheek, but she seemed more upset than before.

He bit his lip. The words he wanted to say choking in his throat. It was so easy to say it in front of Santana and the others, but now that he was with the person who deserved to hear it, he couldn't do it.

Maybe if Rachel said it first, it would be easier for him to say it.

She bit her lip too. Chocolate teary eyes looking up at him.

Say it.

Say 'I love you.'

She didn't. He couldn't. He hugged her again and kissed the crown of her head. "Cheer up, we can work through this," he said instead.

The red light flashed green and cars started honking behind them.

…

There were people staring at him as soon as he entered the school. Ever since he fainted on top of Kurt, Finn had been the subject of gossip for a good few days. They came up with the craziest rumors that he was following a crash diet and fainted from malnutrition, he was sick with a deadly disease, a robot that went through a malfunction, an alien that was losing its health to human food, all sorts of strange things and they weren't in the slightest bit close. There was even a joke going around that 'Frankenteen was breaking down'.

It didn't help that now all the girls who heard of what happened were now crushing on him. Why was it that they always fell for the Florence Nightingale effect?

Finn followed Rachel to her locker and stuffed his lunch beside her books. The nurse obviously reported what happened to him to his mother, and now she insisted on packing his lunches, convinced that he wasn't eating well at school. Kurt helped her a bit there, making her pack lots of vegetables and fruit. Finn may have been settling into the idea that he liked Kurt, but for him to pack him lunch was humiliating.

He looked at his name on the paper bag and cringed. It was all neat and flowery with little bears with cowboy hats. He honestly wasn't sure who was responsible for the designs.

"Can we talk after school?" Rachel asked as she closed the door to her locker. "After glee I mean?"

"Yeah," he nodded. She smiled and gave his hand a squeeze before going to class.

Finn watched her go. Her perfectly straight black hair swishing gently against her thin shapely back. It used to get his heart racing, now it just brought a tiny smile to his lips.

"Did you make sure to eat all of your breakfast?"

Now his heart was racing.

He turned to his 'almost stepbrother'. Kurt had left earlier than him so he didn't see him at home until now. The shorter teen looked up at him inquisitively; his neatly combed hair was partly hidden under one of those black short brimmed hats that Finn wouldn't be caught dead wearing, but fit so nicely with the fashion addict. He was actually dressed down from his usual attire.

…Very dressed down.

He was in black and red bondage pants, Doc Martens, and black and red striped shirt, dog collar, those metal spiky wrist bands, black nail polish, and…

Finn squinted. Was that eye liner?

"Uh…yeah…" he answered uncertainly, "you look…different…"

Kurt blushed, his lips going into a thin line. "I lost a bet."

Finn visibly sighed in relief. He was hoping Kurt hadn't gotten into the whole rocker look, it didn't work for him…well…it kind of did, but it wasn't Kurt. He shook his head. Think straight, he needed to think straight. "A bet?"

Kurt huffed loudly with a nod. "I made a bet with Quinn about whether or not I would get an A for this test in Biology and …"

Finn wasn't listening anymore. He never realized how distracting Kurts lips were. It was like the day he fainted, forgetting his surroundings and focused only on the teen. His lips weren't girly, or manly, they were somewhere in between, not overly plump or thin or completely invisible. They were…modest? But in a nice way, quietly calling for attention, especially when they curved and stretched to form words, like the tantalizing tongue that darted between those pearly whites…

Suddenly he really wanted to feel those eloquent lips against his.

The myriad of Kurts rambling stopped suddenly.

Finn blinked. Then paled.

Somewhere in their one sided conversation, Finn's hand decided to get a life of its own and cup Kurt's cheek, his thumb softly running over the boy's bottom lip. He snatched his hand away as if it were burned.

"You had something on your lip," he excused himself lamely. Kurt still stared at him oddly, a light blush on his cheeks, "so you lost the bet, that sucks, I have class, later!" he quickly hurried away from him, his hand still tingling from when he touched Kurt's face.

…

The curtains opened up slowly, the melodic notes of a piano taking the audience back to the swing jazz era. There's people laughing, glass's clinking, and hands clapping. Then there's a hint of something modern, a small almost inaudible guitar note that stretches on and on under suddenly everything stops and -

"It don't mean a thing!" Mike sang, leaning against the edge of the piano. He was in costume, which were basically his regular clothes. Mr. Schue wanted to keep it that way to help with giving the music a modern street kind of feel.

"If it ain't go that swing!" Rachel stepped out from the left side of the stage, guitar strapped across her shoulders. Both she and Kurt imitated the scat part with piano and guitar.

"Don't mean a thing!" Mike continued, running towards Rachel.

"All you gotta do is sing!" Kurt sang. Mike slid on his knees as if startled that the pianist was singing.

They continued singing, gradually climbing to a point where drums, guitar, and piano climaxed in a musical explosion. The rest of glee ran down the aisles in the audience towards the stage, flipping and dancing as the singers went on a blazing scat singing war. It was so intense that everything stopped as they threw their string of gibberish at each other, eventually coming together in a harmonic one note scream, bringing another bang of instrumental flurry and the final string of lyrics. By the end of their first song they were breathless and grinning with arms open wide to the audience.

Mr. Schue clapped excitedly. "Excellent! Good work guys!"

The group dropped their arms tiredly with sighs and cries of relief. They'd been practicing the song about ten times; some were already feeling bad aches in their knees.

But they couldn't stop, because Kurt was still playing the piano, the first song gradually transforming into Minnie the Moocher. Mercedes came in from the back corner of stage. Everyone watched her as she told the story of Minnie, jumping at attention when she made them repeat the hi-de-hi's and hi-de-ho's.

They managed to get through her song and Fever before they had to call it quits. At this point Finn was very thankful for not having a solo, because he all through practice he was distracted by Kurt's singing and dancing, secretly fantasizing him dancing with him, or grinding into his chair as he played the piano. That, and Santana and Sam were shooting him looks. He knew what they were thinking, and he knew they would probably approach him after practice, so he made sure to leave the auditorium before they did.

It wasn't until he reached his and Rachel's locker that he remembered she wanted to talk to him, and was probably still waiting for him in the auditorium. Alone.

Crap.

He turned around.

And slammed into Brittany.

"Sorry," he stumbled back. She merely cocked her head to the side and smiled. Finn looked around nervously. Santana and Sam weren't around.

"Santana was talking about you just now," she said conversationally, "are you gonna do it with Sam?"

He really couldn't understand this girl. "I have a girlfriend, of course I'm not gonna do it."

"Then if she wasn't?" she asked, innocently clasping her hands behind her back and twisting girlishly from side to side, her cheerio's skirt swishing against her thighs. "would you?"

Finn frowned. There was something strange in her eyes that he didn't like. Did the word 'cheating' mean anything to her? "I'm not gay," he walked past her, pointedly ignoring the smirk she was giving him.

Rachel was probably still at the auditorium, he didn't leave that long ago. He could imagine her cursing him out for leaving without waiting for her. Ugh, that sounded terrible in his head, and even worse now that he'd done it. And after telling her this morning that he would pay more attention to her too.

He needed to work harder as a boyfriend. He had to make this up to her somehow. Take her to a restaurant or something. Flowers would be good right? She liked flowers.

The other glee members were shuffling down the hall, Sam and Kurt among them. Finn kept his eyes ahead, rushing past them before they could stop him. No such luck, he could hear the little squeaks of white sneakers hitting the floor. That had to be Santana.

He reached the auditorium doors and was about to tell the cheerio off when he saw something through the window of the door. He couldn't believe it at first because…

Because it was just ridiculous!

It was Rachel, standing by the audience seats near the middle of the auditorium, but she wasn't alone. She was with Quinn. They looked like they were hugging, but…

Finn's whole body went cold.

They were kissing. No. They weren't just kissing, they were full on making out, their bodies rubbing and clutching desperately, hands running through hair, teeth nipping, tongues licking, lips pulling. It was all the things that could be described as passionate, and nowhere near what he and Rachel shared, compared to this, their make out sessions were like a kiss on the cheek!

He really wanted to run away. Unfortunately he opened the door before he had time to let go of the handle. The two girls sharply jumped away from each other and looked to the door. Their eyes widened in horror when they saw who exactly interrupted them.

There was a pregnant and uncomfortable silence in which they all felt their stomachs fall. Tears were starting to form in Rachel's eyes, and suddenly Finn understood everything. He understood why she looked so distracted and troubled lately, why he didn't find her that day he looked for her at the auditorium, why she kissed him differently that one time, why she broke down this morning.

This whole time he felt guilty for liking Kurt, and Rachel was doing the same thing behind his back, with his ex-girlfriend. He felt stupid, angry, sad, and happy all at the same time it was hard to voice which.

"Finn…" Rachel said in a tiny voice. Although he was partly across the auditorium from her, he heard her clearly. It was that same fragile voice from this morning.

He clutched the door handle, praying that his voice wouldn't shake "You said you wanted to talk?"

The tears were falling quietly and she tried to speak. Quinn wasn't helping, still paralyzed in fear.

"I'm sorry…" Rachel quivered, "I'm so sorry…"

Why didn't he see this coming? Quinn cheated on him, and now Rachel did too. Did he have this 'cheating girlfriend' magnet on him or something? Was he really that easy to be fooled?

He looked from Rachel to Quinn. How long had this been going? He wanted to ask, but his voice wasn't working.

"Finn," Rachel hesitantly took a step forward, "I was going to tell you, but not like this."

He should be crying by now, he did when he found out Quinn's baby was actually Pucks. There had to be at least one tear to shed now, Rachel was cheating on him with Quinn for crying out loud!

Then a thought struck him. It was a terrible thing to think of at the moment, but maybe that's what was keeping him from feeling any real pain.

If Rachel didn't love him, then he was a step closer to being with Kurt.

It was nice to think about, except Kurt was a guy, and he was still uncomfortable with the idea of being gay and most important of all, Kurt didn't like him anymore.

But he did blush when he cupped his cheek…

Finn clenched his jaw. This was too much to think about. One minute he liked Kurt, the next he wasn't sure, and now his girlfriend was making out with his ex-girlfriend.

He looked again between Rachel and Quinn. It was obvious they were over. It was over a long time ago.

"We're done," he sounded strange, but when he heard himself say it, he felt like a heavy burden was lifted from his shoulders. He was free.

Rachel nodded, looking exactly as he felt, though still very upset. He couldn't blame her. They were stupid to continue their pointless relationship.

"Finn," Quinn seemed to snap out of her frozen state, "I…"

He didn't want to hear anything from her. Without a second thought or even a glance to the blonde, he left, shutting the door behind him.

Santana stood waiting behind him, smirking knowingly. Finn wondered if she knew about Rachel and Quinn. Then he wondered if everyone else knew.

He couldn't be that oblivious could he?

"No, I found out just now," she shrugged, reading his mind, "I kind of had an idea, though."

"You have until Friday to decide."

Finn bit the corner of his lip. He didn't have the excuse of having a girlfriend to hide behind anymore. To be honest, he was starting to seriously consider giving it a shot. He was a teenager, teenager's experiment, it's natural. He just had to make sure no one found out.

He really hated liking Kurt. If it was just physical, he could move on with his life.

It had to be physical. He was merely…projecting his curiosity on Kurt. So if he did it with Sam it would go away and all would be right with the world.

"Is your offer still up?" he asked quietly, ashamedly.

Santana's smirk widened.

TBC