Disclaimer: I don't own Glee

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Chapter Eleven

Noticing

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They didn't stay at Santana's house for long. Following her orders, they washed the sheets, cleaned up any other mess they made, and left the house as fast as possible. If Finn ever saw that bedroom again it would be in hell.

He took a glance at the empty passenger seat. He'd already dropped Sam off at his house. They hadn't said much after what happened. He wasn't very willing to, and he figured Sam felt the same.

As he rolled into the driveway of his home, Finn unwillingly thought back to what he felt when… well when he was playing bottom.

He actually liked it. It wasn't really factoring into his overwhelmed brain, but he knew what he felt, and how wrong and perfect the experience was.

It wasn't only the physical pleasure of being pounded senseless. Finn blushed. It was the thought of Kurt pinning him down and doing it to him.

And not just going crazy. Finn also imagined Kurt would be they type to want to go slow. Stretch out the rhythm as if each thrust were filled with…

Love.

Shaking his head, Finn cleared his throat. This was starting to alarm him. In the few weeks he started noticing these feelings, they only continued to get stronger. This was going way past a simple crush, or mere curiosity.

He slouched miserably over the wheel, regret filling him. If he hadn't done it with Sam, he'd still be assuming this was all curiosity. This was supposed to get it out of his system, not make him desire it even more!

And now there was nothing he could do about it.

Kurt no longer loved him, and it was all his fault. This was probably karma getting back at him for pushing Kurt away. For yelling and insulting him.

His chest felt tight again. There'd be no point in telling him he loved him now. He still didn't quite understand it himself. How could a few moves and singing snatch him so quickly? This wasn't supposed to happen! He should be blindly happy with Rachel right now, not pining over a hopeless cause!

Rachel.

He sat up and stared at the garage door bitterly. Rachel didn't love him either. He had such luck with girlfriends. The first one cheated on him with his best friend, and then strung him on, making him believe he was the father of their child. Then the second one runs off to the first one.

But it still didn't hurt as he assumed it would. It hurt that he had never been able to hold up a relationship without anyone cheating on him. Was he that bad of a boyfriend, or was he just some trophy to tote around until he got boring?

When he thought of it that way, it hurt even more.

What if Kurt felt the same as Rachel and Quinn when he was crushing on him? That he was a trophy?

That hurt more than anything else.

Sighing, Finn shut off the engine and got out of the car. Living with Kurt was going to be hell from now on. He hoisted his book bag over his shoulder, flinging something that had been tangled in the shoulder strap. Catching it before it hit the ground, Finn realized it was the purple flowery iPod he'd been clinging to these past few days. How did it get all caught up in his shoulder strap?

Freeing the headphones, he pocketed the music device and went inside the house.

The living room was right by the door, so when Finn entered, his first sight was the sofa.

Kurt was sleeping on the sofa.

He felt his hands tremble, and his stomach flip. Of all the people to greet him, he didn't want it to be a sleeping Kurt. Finn bit his lip, painfully reminded of the tumultuous feelings that developed for his almost brother.

Oblivious to his nervous intruder, Kurt continued sleeping blissfully. Finn watched in a trance as the smaller teen's chest slowly rose and fell. Pink lips parted and releasing soft gusts of air. He was draped over the sofa as if thrown haphazardly there. Neatly combed hair now mussed up against the pillows and tickling the edges of his porcelain face. One arm over his head and hanging off the armrest of the sofa. Legs splayed out…

Finn realized too late that he was leaning over the smaller teen, observing him more closely with the overwhelming desire to press his lips against those soft pink ones. What would they taste like? Would he wake Kurt up?

"What the hell are you doing?"

Finn's blood turned to ice. He straightened up so quickly, he almost fell over. Burt looked at him from the kitchen door with a deep frown. Gulping, Finn stumbled backwards, hitting the coffee table and almost falling over again.

Shitshitshitshitshit!

"Um…I was just…um…" he scrambled down the hallway, unable to think of a good excuse of being seconds away from kissing Burt Hummel's son. Gratefully, he reached his room and locked himself inside.

He could faintly hear Kurt's tired voice asking what happened, and his father saying it was nothing in a gruff tone. Finn's legs gave out from the shock. He slid down the door and sat there for what felt like forever. The dull ache on his lower back once he hit the floor unceremoniously a reminder of what he'd done earlier.

He had sex with Sam, and then turned and almost kissed Kurt.

Finn buried his head in his knees, self disgust clawing over him as the reality of what he'd done finally hit him. This was no better than the night he let Santana take his virginity from him. He went and let Sam do the same thing. He might as well call himself a slut.

He didn't deserve Kurt.

"…thought we said goodbye last night…"

Momentarily confused, Finn looked down at his pocket. The headphones had jostled out in his run to his room, and apparently he managed to turn it on without realizing it. Billie Holiday's voice quietly crawled up his ears, gripping onto his disappointments and self disgust.

"…Wish I'd forget you, but you're here to stay…"

His vision blurred. He retreated under his arms, biting the corner his lip hard.

…

Burt stood in front of the door with great reluctance. It was dinner time and Carole wanted everyone at the table. That included Finn. Carole was busy setting up the table, the only person missing was the boy who almost gave a sleeping beauty kiss to his son. Like hell he was going to let Kurt retrieve the boy for dinner.

Not after what he saw earlier.

Burt rubbed the bridge of his nose. Of all the things he had to witness, he didn't want to see his almost step son about to kiss his only son. While he was defenselessly asleep. It took a lot of willpower not to kill Finn right on the spot.

Now the boy had to join them at the dinner table, probably trying to make eyes with his son. Burt bit back a groan. When the hell did Finn start liking Kurt that way anyway?

At least Finn was still scared of him if his reaction earlier was anything to go by. Burt sighed. Why couldn't Finn still be with Rachel? What happened to that?

He knocked on the door. "Finn? Dinner," he said shortly.

"I'm not hungry," the teens depressed and muffled voice said through the door. Burt could picture him sitting against it like those...what did they call them nowadays? Emo kids? He frowned.

"Kid, you gotta eat," he paused thoughtfully, "and I'm not gonna kill you for what happened before."

"I'm not hungry."

Burt stood back contemplatively. If he told Carole that her son didn't want dinner, she'd start to worry. He rubbed his chin; he really didn't want to do this.

Awkwardly, he asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

Good. Burt almost sighed in relief. That didn't solve the current problem though, and now he was pretty sure Finn wasn't trying to go and rape Kurt earlier. He was obviously going through some tough issues. But Burt still didn't feel comfortable with having Finn near Kurt.

"Fine, we'll save you a plate," he rubbed the back of his neck and returned to the kitchen.

Carole and Kurt looked up from their plates expectantly. Burt mentally winced. The next few days were certain to try his sanity.

…

It was one of the few occasions that Finn wished it wasn't the weekend. At least in McKinley he could distract himself with school work and keeping himself out of Karofsky and Azimio's path when they felt a good slushie was in order. Kurt would be far from his mind by then.

He also had work to distract him, but that was only a few hours a day, and Kurt would always be home by the time he returned. It was only the Saturday, but Finn knew he wouldn't be able to avoid dinner forever, and even when he'd sneak into the kitchen for a snack, he'd always hear music coming from Kurt's room, making him feel too jittery to eat anything.

Which was his current situation. He was in the middle of preparing microwave pizza when a soft orchestra of music wafted from the basement door. After listening to the iPod non-stop since he got it, Finn knew exactly what the name of the song was before any singing occurred.

"I'm in the mood for love…"

He set his jaw and glared hard at the declining red numbers of the microwave. It would be two minutes before the pizza was done. He could just leave for his room and come back later. His stomach was already fluttering, and his hands were turning clammy. Pretty soon, if his mind betrayed him, he'd risk getting a boner if he stayed and longer.

"Sweetheart you have me under a spell…"

Fumbling, he dumped the package the pizza came in, and made to leave the kitchen. His room wasn't so far that he wouldn't hear the familiar beeps of the microwave, he just had to listen hard enough. There was homework to catch up on too. Maybe he could go to Puck's place and play video games. Or visit Rachel and…

Oh.

He stopped at the door. That's right. He wasn't with Rachel anymore, it wouldn't make sense to see her. She was probably with Quinn anyway. He looked at the clock by the phone, which was also near the place he was trying to run away from.

Three thirty in the afternoon. Finn was willing to bet his two ex-girlfriends were together right now. Probably going past whatever level he was at with Rachel. He sighed. Unsurprisingly, whenever Kurt was nearby, it didn't hurt as much to think about the two girls who lied to him.

"Such a strong appeal tonight…"

He felt his whole body shiver. Kurt's voice had never had such an effect before. It was almost frightening, yet in a good way. Finn groaned and rubbed his face as if to remove the sappy feelings from his head. There had to be something wrong with him.

The back door opened, his mother and Burt bustling in after grocery shopping. Finn internally sighed in relief for the distraction from the weird thoughts that had taken over him the past few days. He helped Carole with the bags vaguely noting with renewed hunger the boxes of his favorite cereals, sausages, beef, and packets of microwave junkfood.

"You're home early," his mother said after sighing in relief, "got any homework done?" Knowing she wouldn't like a 'no', Finn nodded mutely. Carole scrutinized him with an arched eyebrow anyway, "get to it after helping me."

"Heaven in your eyes…"

Burt perked up. "Kurt's here?" he gave Finn an odd look.

"Y-yeah," he stammered, shrinking under the man's penetrating stare. "He's been practicing all day," he added, hoping Burt wasn't assuming things, "I just came back a few minutes ago…" Actually it was an hour ago, but Burt didn't need to know that.

Satisfied, Burt busied himself with putting away the groceries. Carole smiled as Kurt's light voice breezed into the kitchen. "He's got a beautiful voice."

"Yeah…" Finn sighed quietly.

Both Carole and Burt raised eyebrows at him. Biting his tongue and mentally cursing himself, Finn scrambled for a decent excuse, but before he could even think of the first word, the music from downstairs shut off suddenly, running feet pounding up stairs until the basement door burst open and Kurt flew into the kitchen.

"Hey," he greeted breathlessly, walking up to the bags occupying the table. "did you get my baby spinach?" he asked, fishing through the bags.

"Yes we did," Carole said dramatically, presenting the shorter teen with a bag of the leafy green. "Why is it that you don't prefer Iceberg again?"

Finn gulped discreetly. If his nerves were aflutter while Kurt had been singing, they were on fire now, just as all the other times he'd been around the boy. It didn't help that Kurt was fresh from what looked like a work out.

Kurt had chosen to be different again. A hobby that was starting to drive Finn crazy. Instead of the familiar skin tight leggings he'd wear for exercise, he was in slightly loose fitting deep blue shorts, showing off milky white shaved legs with a modest hint of lean muscle no doubt developed from years of practicing dance numbers for shows. His white, surprisingly plain t-shirt was clinging to his smooth yet very masculine body from sweat. Finn could faintly note the small bumps of developing muscles. His pale arms flew around in gestures as he conversed with Carole, showing off soft small hands, yet there was still one or two veins that stuck out notably from the back of his hands. His face was flushed and happy, teal eyes vibrant with life, his light brown hair darkened from sweat and matted down in a messy toil. He was still as slim and soft as ever, but the presence of growing masculinity was there. Finn had never imagined Kurt had such a body.

Or that it was turning ever more attractive.

Burt cleared his throat loudly. Cheeks flaring up in embarrassment, Finn quickly looked away and helped his mother put away the food, pointedly avoiding looking anywhere near Kurt for fear of being caught openly staring again.

He could not believe he just did that.

"What's with this getup," Burt asked his son lightly. Finn almost flinched, understanding the undertones of suspicion.

Kurt shrugged, pulled at one end of his sweaty shirt, "I didn't want to ruin my good clothes, and all my workout clothes are in the laundry." He laughed when his father looked at him disbelievingly, "Glee practices have left me too exhausted to catch up with any kind of chores my room needs. I've been cleaning all day, actually." He looked over himself once more with a grin, "I think I like this get up," he laughed, "I don't need anything fancy for a work out anyway."

"Huh…" Burt didn't believe his son. Not wanting anymore suspicious glares sent his way, Finn finished with putting the last of the groceries in the fridge and went to get his pizza.

It burned a while ago in its final minute in the microwave.

TBC Sorry if this chapter's a bit boring! Will try to update soon! Thanks for reading!