Disclaimer: I don't own Glee

A/N: here it is, lucky number thirteen, thanks for reading, with school done, I'll hopefully be able to update more frequently!

…

Chapter Thirteen

Out

…

Kurt wasn't as stupid or desperate as he was sure everyone at glee club probably thought he was when Puck approached him. He wasn't as blind or oblivious as he was pretty sure Finn thought he was either. Then again, no one was blind to someone as inconspicuous as an elephant like Finn.

He couldn't deny he was curious though.

He had seen Finn's change in behavior in the past few weeks. How the taller boy had become quieter, and started staring at him more and more. Kurt was also aware of the few occasions the other boy sneaked into his room to watch him sing. That plus his wildly obvious behavior in front of their parents last Saturday was enough to confirm Kurt's theory that maybe, quite possibly, as unbelievable as it might sound…

Finn could be harboring feelings for him.

A year ago Kurt would have jumped to the moon and make quick work to winning Finn over. It was a once in a life time chance – a perfect opportunity! Except now the only jumping he was making was of surprise, not joy.

It was Finn's own fault for pushing him away. After everything he'd done, Kurt's feelings were squashed in disillusionment and he found himself ready to move on. It was too depressing to go after a straight guy who jumped from one girl to the next. What's more, the boy was practically his stepbrother from how things were going with his dad and Carole. Crushing on your own brother was just wrong.

But he was curious.

He was curious because although he no longer clammed up whenever Finn was in the vicinity, he couldn't help but wonder how far Finn's feelings stretched. Was it just a hitch in the natural process of adolescence or did Finn honestly fall for him?

It may have been cruel of him, but Finn had displayed his wonderfully straight affections to his girlfriends in his face, was it evil of him to return the favor?

No, of course not.

So when Puck suddenly sang a Frank Sinatra to him and parked himself next to him for the remainder of the meeting, Kurt didn't miss his opportunity.

And now he found himself sandwiched between a stiff wall of lockers and the man-slut himself, stuck in a lip lock that he honestly hadn't planned.

As Puck did many interesting things to his tongue, Kurt could see why it was so easy for the boy to swim through his conquests. He definitely wasn't all talk.

Then he could hear it. The faint yet audible sound of sneakers stopping short far down the hall. Kurt cracked an eye open a fraction and spotted a very pale Finn staring straight at them. This was better than he planned. Swallowing the embarrassment of being caught making out with the one person he shouldn't, Kurt continued kissing Puck.

It lasted another good minute until Puck pulled back, breathless. Kurt took a furtive glance from where Finn was standing and noticed he was gone.

Well. The Frankenteen didn't beat the crap out of Puck, but that didn't exactly confirm Kurt's theory that Finn was just going through a confusing stage. He'd have to see what happened when he got home. That would be interesting.

"Wanna come to my place?" Puck asked coyly, still a little breathless, "no one's going to be home for a while. It'll just be us."

Kurt grinned back as he carefully detached himself from Puck, putting a safe distance between them. "As tempting as that is," he said airily, desperate to hide how shaken he was over the kiss, "I'd rather not lose my virginity to a moment of hormone induced insanity."

"We don't have to do it, we can just continue making out," his voice betrayed his intentions however, and Kurt arched a skeptic eyebrow at him, "scouts honor?"

"Cute," he ran a hand through his slightly mussed hair, mentally cursing Puck for handling him roughly. "But I know you, and I know that kissing me took a lot on your part, nice effort though, were you thinking of some girl?"

"No I – "

"I don't care if you were; I know why you did it," he waved him off, readjusting his messenger bag that had been slipping down his shoulder, "though, I am surprised you went along with it, is Santana paying you or something?"

Puck shuffled from one foot to the other uncomfortably, "No, she – "

"My dear, you are just one shot away from prostitution which by the way," he eyed him up and down regally, "is not a turn on at all. You were useful though, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Hey! Wait a minute!" Puck grabbed his shoulder, roughly turning him around to face him. Kurt couldn't stop the brief moment of fear from crawling up his spine. He hadn't forgotten that the other, much more muscular, boy had been responsible for some of the bullying he had to go through before glee existed. "You used me?"

"Just as Santana used you. You know, for such a tough guy it's pretty sad how easy it is for a girl and a little gay boy to push you around," even as the words left his mouth, Kurt knew he was skirting past his boundaries. Pretty soon he'd find himself at the bottom of a dumpster. He was slammed against the lockers, the taller teen pressed against him threateningly.

Okay, forget the dumpster; he was going to get the crap beaten out of him.

"Watch it, Hummel," his tone instilling fear in the smaller teen, "I can go back to throwing you in dumpsters whenever I want."

"Yes, because that's always the best way to handling your insecurities," he really needed to learn to keep his mouth shut.

"I'm not letting you walk all over me," Puck hissed.

Kurt flared up indignantly, "And I'm never letting you people walk all over me again!"

Puck hesitated for a second. He'd never seen the boy look so infuriated. He opened and closed his mouth, but could think of no snappish reply. Kurt took that moment to push him away and dust himself off. His gave him one withering glance and walked towards the exits.

"And for the record," he called back, his heart beating wildly in his throat, "that kiss was absolutely dreadful!"

…

After shaking off a sympathetic Sam, which was what he really didn't want right now, Finn made it to his car and managed to get home without crashing into any cars or getting pulled over by cops. A feat considering the speeds he was going.

Once he got home to a warm welcome from his mother, he then shut himself in his room to muddle in his increasingly violent fantasies of tearing Puck's limbs apart and feeding them to lions. Were there any lions in town? How bad of a punishment would he get with the law if he were caught?

He didn't have much time to think of the repercussions because not ten minutes passed when he heard the slam of a door and a cheerful greeting from Kurt in the living room. Finn clutched the pillow he'd been holding, waiting in tense silence as Kurt struck up a tired conversation with his mother.

"A mountain of homework again, as if I haven't gotten enough on my plate with projects and presentations."

"Oh, could you please help Finn with homework too? He's terrible with keeping up with it."

Unable to resist, Finn rushed to the door and pressed his ear against it, holding his pillow more tightly and not caring how ridiculous or girly he looked at that moment.

"I would but I already promised Puck I'd help him, we're supposed to meet up at some point at his house."

A pause and then. "…Puck?"

An uncontrollable fury welled up in Finn's chest.

"Yeah, he sucks at math and apparently I'm the only intelligent person at school to help him. I'll try to help Finn when I can though."

"Okay then…but be careful around Puck." Finn grumpily nodded in agreement with his mother. "He's a bit of a wild child."

"Believe me, I'm well aware."

The memory of Kurt making out with Puck flashed in his head. He grit his teeth, nauseated at the image of the two together. His chest clenched again, hurt at how quickly Kurt ran off to the one person who destroyed both a long established friendship and a well adjusted relationship with the hottest girl in school.

Of all people, Kurt should know how much of a slap in the face this was to him. Forget that he had a crush on him, this was just low.

The door opened. Finn let out a gasp of surprise as he nearly fell on the floor and at the same time getting caught on listening in on a private conversation with his ear pressed to the door like some nosy old lady. He whipped around in horror to face the intruder and paled when he saw that it was the last person he wanted to walk in on him like this.

Kurt frowned in amusement at the taller teen, "What were you doing?" he asked teasingly.

"Nothing," he said too quickly, clutching his pillow protectively. "What do you want? I thought you'd be at Puck's."

Kurt eyed him strangely. "Why would I be at Puck's?"

"Because you…you…" he scrambled for a proper excuse without making it obvious of how much it upset him, "you guys seemed to hit it off at the meeting today and…I thought you would…be at his place."

He was giving him that weird look again. "Yes, and all of the sudden I crash at his place? Finn, that makes no sense – "

"He was flirting with you!" he blurted out, flushing in embarrassment.

"What makes you think he was flirting with me?" Kurt almost squeaked, "are you jealous or something?"

"No!" he blushed. "It's Puck! I don't care who you choose to be your boyfriend, but not Puck, not after what he's done."

Kurt fell silent. It was true, if he ever decided to be with Puck, it would be a betrayal to Finn as a friend. Fortunately, he had no feelings for the other teen, so there was nothing to worry about there.

But it proved that Puck was a failed experiment. The only thing he could gather from Finn's reaction was that Puck and him had history and being with him was a bad idea.

Should he use someone else?

Kurt sighed. No, he was still shaken over what he did with Puck, using someone else would only dig a bigger hole of guilt in his heart.

He did get at least one piece of valuable information. If Finn really did like him, then he wouldn't have denied his jealously like he did a second ago. Or if he did, then he was ashamed of it, and that was just as bad.

It didn't stop the dark urge to make Finn hurt much as he made him hurt. Even if it would ruin future rehearsals in glee.

"I'll date whoever I want," he said coolly, "if it's Puck or not, that's my decision, not yours," he fished through the front pocket of his coat and pulled out a slightly scratched up iPod with purple flowers. "You dropped this by the way, are you still listening to it, or can I have it back?"

"No! I'll…" Finn instantly reached out to grab it, stopping halfway when he realized how desperate he must have looked to have it back. Kurt frowned, unconsciously pressing the iPod against his chest as if Finn were going to tear it from his hands.

Finn bit his lip. It was only a tiny piece of metal and plastic, but it was all he had that connected him to Kurt. His only source of comfort.

"I still haven't gotten the whole idea of…of the swing era," he said lamely.

Huffing, Kurt relented and held out his precious iPod, which Finn took, accidentally brushing their fingers in the process. Kurt watched in fascination at how the towering teen's cheeks flushed pink. He was reminded of how he used to act around Finn, and how any kind of contact they made had him fluttering to heaven.

How the tables have turned…

'He'll get over it,' he tried to convince himself, leaving Finn's room. 'He'll find a girl that'll shake the confusion out of him and that'll be that.'

"Kurt."

He turned to his almost brother expectantly. He was gawping much like Puck had when he shouted at him. "What?"

Finn clutched the iPod, "I – I…" he licked his lips and took a calming breath, "I'm…."

Kurt paled. Oh hell no.

"I'm…" Finn repeated, unable to get the words out. "I think I might be…"

"Finn," Kurt squeaked, "I think I know what you're going to say, and trust me, you don't want to finish that sentence."

He was imitating a fish again. "Wh-what do you think I was gonna say?" he stammered.

"It doesn't matter," Kurt said breezily, "anyway, I have homework, so do you, later," and he rushed off, not giving Finn a chance to say anymore.

…

Despite his warnings, the next day at school the first thing Finn saw was Puck getting out of Kurt's car and carrying his books while they walked up to the school's entrance. They weren't over each other like they were yesterday, but the innocent closeness they shared implied much more than that and it hurt to look at them.

"So are they official or what?"

Yet another person he didn't want to talk to. Finn resisted rolling his eyes and brushed past the girl for the school. Santana wasn't one to be ignored, so obviously she followed.

"What are you gonna do?" she asked curiously, "you do realize that Puck's taking Kurt from you."

"So what?" he mumbled.

"So? I'm trying to help you here, don't you wanna be with lady face?" she halted when Finn glared down at her.

"Stop calling him that," he hissed, not caring if people could be listening in, "who he dates is up to him, I don't care anymore."

Momentarily stunned, Santana shook her head and recovered quickly, chasing after Finn's retreating back. "You're over him?" she asked in overly bemusement, "that was fast…"

"Shouldn't you be with Brittany?"

"Are you still gay?"

Any other day, Finn would have yelled at her to shut her trap, but at the moment he was too angry and depressed to care. So when he spotted Sam down the hall talking to Artie, he remembered his contemplations from yesterday.

He lost Kurt, but there was still Sam who would probably never have Mike.

Then a horrible thought struck him. He could still have Kurt by pretending…

It worked before. Maybe…

"Yeah," he croaked, his voice sounding alien to him, "I am."

"Well then..." Santana blinked, Finn's reply sinking in. Her face twisted in a mixture of shock and anger, "What?"

He must be going crazy, he snorted non-humorously. "I'm gay," he laughed softly.

She was really flaring up now. "WHAT!" she screamed.

He looked down at her face flushed in anger and it all clicked. Well, some of it at least. He knew Santana wasn't as nice as she tried to make herself to be. There was no way she'd lend him and Sam her room if it wouldn't somehow benefit her, and he was sure that she was somehow involved with Puck suddenly showing interest in Kurt. She was planning something, or had planned something because once he admitted to the dreaded three letter word, her plans instantly fell apart judging from the look on her face.

Unable to stop another bubble of laughter, Finn let it out. Taking joy in the one thing that was finally going his way, and the utter relief he got from saying those beautiful words.

Everyone in the hall was looking at them now, unsure of the joke that seemed to have their quarterback in stitches. From the nasty look on Santana, they could only assume the joke was on her. Or maybe Finn Hudson finally snapped.

"No, you can't be, you're just in denial," the cheerio said quickly, shaking her head. Finn only laughed harder. "Stop it! You're supposed to be with me!"

"That was you're plan?" Finn fought and failed to suppress a giggle, "you suck at scheming! The only thing you got out of it were some dirty sheets – I can't believe there's someone dumber than me in this school," he wiped fake tears of mirth from his eyes. "Thanks, you really cleared it up for me."

"SHUT UP!" she screeched, grabbing the front of his shirt, "take it back, you're just joking right? There's no way you can be a…a…"

He pulled her hands away, still caught in his momentarily lapse of insanity. "Too bad! I'M. GAY!"

A collective gasp of shock rippled down the crowded hallway. Santana froze on the spot. Eyes wide in horror. Finn would later look back and punch himself for his stupidity, but right now he honestly didn't care.

Kurt no longer loved him and was dating Puck the thieving man-slut. Rachel left him for the lying bitch Quinn. He had nothing now. Forget reputation or the fact that from now on Karofsky and his gang would make him their new punching bag. It didn't matter. It really didn't matter.

"Whoa," a random student breathed, voicing everyone's thoughts in one word.

He was about to repeat himself, but all that came out of his mouth was an 'ompf!' as someone grabbed him from around his chest and pulled him away from the gawking crowd. Momentarily winded, Finn wasn't able to fight back until he was thrown into an empty classroom, but by then his kidnapper let him go to busy himself with shutting the door and closing the blinds to the small window.

Same turned to him, breathing heavily from having to haul the tall teen. "Congratulations Finn, you just outed yourself to half the school."

Finn lay back against the floor where he landed, catching his breath, the last bits of laughter escaping him. "Yep!"

Sam watched him pityingly. "What the hell's wrong with you?"

Finn shrugged, staring up at the ceiling. "She pissed me off."

"She's pissed you off before."

"Yeah," he agreed, the amusement he was riding on starting to sap out of him. "Kurt's with Puck…he's dating Puck."

"It's not gonna last long," Sam sighed, kneeling over Finn, "you still have a better chance with him than I have with Mike."

"No I don't," he muttered, Kurt's words from yesterday floating back up like alcohol on a wound. "He told me himself. He's done with me. It's probably better this way, I wouldn't have been good for him, I'm just a trophy."

Sam frowned. A trophy? Was that how much Finn considered himself to be? "Wait. What?"

"A trophy," Finn shrugged, "something to show off until…" his voice cracked, "until you get bored and find something shinier."

Something clumped in his throat as he looked down at the defeated teen. "You shouldn't say that about yourself. You're worth more than that."

Finn snorted. "I don't care."

"Finn, this isn't – what are you doing?" he froze as a hand reached up and wrapped behind his head.

"I just want to pretend," Finn said quietly, "like we did last time." Sam resisted against his hand, biting the corner of his lip. "I don't know what else to do."

"Mike's with Tina," Sam reasoned, "and I'm fine with it…"

"But he doesn't even talk to you anymore."

"Yeah but…" he tried to come up with a more convincing excuse, but in all honesty, he was dealing with this just as well as Finn was. If Santana had targeted him, he was sure he'd snap in the same fashion as Finn had. He missed talking with Mike, he missed the small moments of the dancer casually placing a hand on his shoulder or holding him close. And he was utterly jealous that Tina had him all to herself.

He didn't have anything either.

Before he could think of a proper response, Finn pulled him down and pressed his lips against his. Despite his earlier protests, Sam didn't pull away.

Because he too, wanted to pretend.

TBC