I remember the first time I saw her. She was wearing a pair of jean cutoffs and A fitted black tee. Her pale skin wrapped her long shapely legs and covered the small amount of cleavage and in that moment I would given anything to be that skin. She was stunning. That's when I knew I wanted her but when she looked up and I saw her angelic face surrounded by her thick brown hair and her hazel eyes met mine I needed her. I offered to walk her home planning on asking her out but I lost my nerve and so it continued until weeks later I found myself in the friend's zone, a spot I still regretfully held. At least Victor was out of the picture. I hated that scum. I could not imagine having Bella and wasting her for sex with someone who could not be a nearly as pretty or sweet. Right now I sat across from an empty table waiting for Bella to return from the bathroom. Graduation was next week and I needed to grow a pair and tell her how I felt. This dinner would hopefully accomplish just that. I sat looking at her purse which had fallen open. Part of me wanted to dig at its contents and learn more about Bella but another larger part knew this action was a great sin. Her phone went off illuminating the purse. The screen read Victor and I knew I had to look I slowly slid the phone out peering at the text.
Coffee sounds great.-V
I didn't have time to let the messages sink in. I saw Bella returning from the bathroom and I quickly put the phone back in her purse. She sat down and a million thoughts ran through my head.
What did the text mean?
Was she getting back together with him?
Did coffee mean coffee or was it their secret code word for sexy times?
I wanted to confront her but then she would know I looked at her text. Bella was a private being. I wanted to go back in time and avoid the text. Ignorance is bliss. Thoughts were bounding in my head. I couldn't think straight…I love her…I almost told her…now I couldn't. My thoughts were interrupted by a sharp snap. Bella's slim fingers were in front of my face, she was snapping them hints the snap noise.
"Edward…you in there?" she asked. I found that funny because all night I had been wondering the same thing about her. She had spoken when I had talked to her but she had not been the contributing any conversation topics.
"I'm sorry just sleepy." She smiled her beautiful smile at my words.
"Let's just skip dessert. I'm kind of sleepy too." I didn't want to end my night with her but I was now stuck in my lie. I paid the check and drove her home.
I lived alone in a small apartment. Truth be told I could have bought a large home as I had an extensive trust fund but coming home to an empty apartment was bad enough. I had always lived with family and if I would have met the right woman early in life I would have been married right after high school. I would be a magnificent husband. I had been raised to treat women well. Doting was my nature.
It was early so I decided a run was in order. I put on my shoes and shorts and strapped on my IPOD. Running in time with Skynyrd I passed Boulder creek park. The grass was still green and the water was churning making it almost crystal clear. I ran until I felt it. My muscles brunt and sticky sweat plastered my shirt to my chest creating a sort of second skin. I saw a group of college age girls ogling me and even though my heart was Bella's it didn't mean I could have fun. I flashed a smile casing the girls to all but swoon. There was nothing to boost a somewhat dented ego like a swoon.
By the time I came home I was tried so I went to bed. That night I dreamed of Bella. She was crying begging for my help. I ran to her but every time I got close she would move further. I saw Victor grab her and shake her she screamed and I couldn't get her. I ran and still she was unattainable and just when I was about to lose hope Victor released her shaking form and she fell into me. I felt her breath, her trembling body and I could smell her shampoo. I woke up to realize it was still dark. The clock on the bed side table read three in the morning. I rolled over and tried to go to sleep. It never came.
I gave up on sleep by 6am. I was finished with school but I did have a lot of packing to do. I had gotten into Northwesten's prestigious medical school. I had also gotten into Harvard and brown but it was a no brainer. I loved Chicago. My family lived there and my Dad was an impressive member of the schools vast alumni. He is the world's first most authority on consanguinity medicine. It's actually an interesting field. He studies blood and its genetic makeup trying to unlock composition in order to extract the viral components that cause hereditary aliments. He is the man responsible for the per-natal Nucleoside reverse transcriptase inhibitors which has decreased the level of infants born with aids by 58%. I'm sorry I am rambling, so my father is a genius and I hope to follow his path. He is married to my Mother who is a typical Doctors wife, splitting her time between charity and her children. I should say child because I'm super low exertion but my sister Alice is a firecracker. She is two years younger than me but at the rate she is going she will never graduate college. She can't decide what to major in. In the past year she has jumped from majoring in French, culinary arts, fashion and even a awful week in violin. So my that's family but I digress.
I started by packing my ski gear thinking about missing the mountains Of Colorado but as it was Illinois called. I had only packed a few boxes when my sleepless night caught up. Muddies coffee was just around the corner so I went to grab a cup. I ordered my usual, a large Americano with an extra shot which of course made it pure caffeine. As the barista pulled the shots and poured the hot water down the cup taking care to keep the crème intact I looked around the busy café. Everywhere I looked college students sat either nursing hangovers or typing furiously on open laptops. My room scan was complete and in my haste I almost missed her. Bella sat in an overstuffed chair her sweat pant clad legs pulled to her chest. She had yet to notice me. I ordered her a latte and went to sit with her.
"Fancy running into you here." I said sitting on the chair across from her. She looked right through me.
"Bella." I said speaking louder and snapping my fingers like she had done to me. This seemed to jolt her.
"Oh…Edward. Sorry I forgot we were meeting." She seemed distance like she wasn't there.
"We weren't meeting." I handed her the latte thinking that caffeine would jolt Bella back to reality.
"Oh yeah. Sorry it's been an intense morning." She held the liquid close to her chest but didn't drink any.
"What happened? Did Victor do something?" I asked forgetting that I wasn't supposed to know about the coffee date. She didn't seem to notice but she did take a small sip of the drink. No sooner had the creamy treat touched her tongue than a horrified look crossed her face. Her cheeks puffed hinting at that fact that she had yet to swallow. She looked around before releasing her coffee spitting it right onto my face. I of course was shocked. She was embarrassed. A small napkin holder sat dead center on a table separating us, she grabbed a few and dabbed my face and shirt which were covered in brown fluid.
"I'm so sorry Edward." She was blushing furiously. I wanted to give her a rapid response but I found it hard to form words when her hands ran the length of my chest and as if that wasn't torture enough she was leaning in. She smelled of sugar and honey. Her shirt was low and the swell of her breast hung over. I could have been imagining it but I would have sworn that I saw the hint of a hot pink bra. Ok I needed to stop picturing Bella's bra and find out what was happening to make her act so strange.
"It's ok Bella just leave it." She leaned away looking everywhere but at me. I lifted her face needing to see her espresso painted eyes. They were tinted red and I knew she had been crying. I stopped lusting her and a primal urge set in.
"Did Victor hurt you?" I tried to keep venom out of my voice.
"No, not physically…wait how did you know victor was here?" Damn. Caught. Lie, Edward. lie.
"I saw him leave. Look, it doesn't matter. What's wrong? Was it the coffee?" She looked at the cup she had sat on the table after spitting on me.
"Thanks for the latté." For the first time that morning she let out a small smile.
"Please tell me what's going on maybe I can help." I sat low almost eye level with her. She was rolling the napkin still wet from the coffee incident in-between her palms. Her focus solely on the tattered towels she mumbled something under her breath and when I asked her to repeat herself her eyes flew to mine. It could have been empty in the room. In that moment it was just us two. Her eyes welled up and when she spoke her voice was raspy. She cleared her throat and once again spoke.
"I'm pregnant." At first I was sure I had miss-heard her but when I looked at her I knew that wasn't the case her body langue gave away everything to one in the know. Her hands rested on her still flat abdomen and she seemed to glow despite her circumstances. I know it wasn't the proper time to think of such things but my mind immediately went to how prefect Bella would look in her condition. Her curves would become defined making her both more tantalizing and wholesome. I could imagine her round with child, brown hair down her back in low pig tails. I craved that view and although it was hard to imagine something more lovely I did. I could see her in my mind's eye, hair wet and plastered to her flushed face holding a bundle. I could see her eyes colored with love and exhaustion. I wanted to close my eyes and just see that Bella and I probably would have if my reverie of Bella hadn't leaned down and kissed the downy soft red haired baby. This was Victor's baby…hers and Victors and it broke my heart.
"Edward…say something?" Her small voice pleaded.
"That's why Victor was here? You told him! What did he say?" the questions popped out of my mouth as soon as my mind formed them.
" Yep,Yep; and he told me I was trying to trap him into coming back and when I tried showing him the doctors test results…he….he….said it wasn't his and that I wouldn't see a cent from him…and….and…" She was trying to continue but her throat was blocked by an outburst of sobs. I stepped across the table and pulled her onto my lap rubbing small circles on her lower back. Her sobs eventually subsided and after letting her catch her breath I spoke.
"Bella. People have babies every day. You can do this. You have friends and family. You're not alone." My words were meant to sooth but they made her cry harder than before. People were starting to stare and although I didn't mind I wanted to protect Bella from harsh judgments. I told her to get her things and when she did I lead her to my house. I got her some water which she gratefully accepted sipping from the sweating glass as she got comfortable on the opposite end of the couch. We sat in silence as I had decided to give her the control. Two glasses of water and a bathroom break later she began to speak.
"I'm going to be alone." Her voice was hard and barely above a whisper. "Everyone is going somewhere else and once my family finds out…ill be alone."
"Come on your family won't abandon you." I had never met her family but from what she told me they were very close and supportive.
"Yes the will! They are Republicans!" I almost laughed at her ridiculous outburst but her serious situation stilled the action.
"Okay but even if they abandon you. I'll always be where ever you need me." I hugged her pulling her across the couch and into my arms. Her hair sprawled my chest and I began to play with it. I thought she had fallen asleep when she spoke.
"You're going to Northwestren. I have nobody." She shock when she spoke. I didn't want her to dwell on this silly thought.
"Are you hungry?" She nodded and I reluctantly unwrapped her hair from my fingers. Being as I was a college bachelor food was scarce. I literally had soy sauce, old hot dogs and butter in my fridge. Take out it was. I grabbed five menus from my vast collection and brought them to Bella. She selected Thi and while I ordered she scanned my Dvds picking some action flick and put it in. After we ate she asked if she could shower and I of course complied. I got her a pair of track shorts from high school and a jerseys from a soccer little league I coached last summer to change into. When she was showered and changed she came up to me with one of my many books in hand.
"Can I spend the night Leah is staying at her boyfriends and I really don't want to be alone." Her demeanor was shy. We had been friends for years but sleepovers were never done. I agreed with gusto hoping my eagerness didn't show. She thanked me and began to read. She was yawning before five minutes.
"I'll make up the couch." I pulled blankets for a closet unfolding random comforters trying to cover the cold leather of my couch. I was on the fifth blanket when Bella interrupted me.
"Five is enough Edward ill be fine."
"Yeah. Your sleeping in my bed. I'm sleeping on the couch."She was high if she thought that I would let her sleep on the couch.
"Um no I'm not."
"Um yes you are." I corrected her quickly finishing my make shift bed and snuggling deep into the covers squashing any further discussion. I heard her stomp her foot and storm into the bedroom. I was surprised she gave up so easy she was usually stubborn. I had just about to drift off when I heard shuffling feet and dragging fabric. I opened my eyes to see Bella folding my feather top mattress in to a make shift floor pallet. She was crazy. No women would sleep on the floor while I had a queen sized double pillow top two doors down…especially not Bella. I stood up and grabbed Bella in a fireman's grip. She screamed and protested as I carried her into the bedroom. I deposited her on the bed tucking the cool clean sheets to her chin.
"Edward Cullen! You let me out of this bed or Ill…ill… scream!" Her threat took a minute to stutter out and I could tell it was the best she had and it was awful. I laughed at her attempt. That made her mad and we had a loud discussion about bad manners. Her diatribe ended with her rolling over away from me and just like I had planned she was planted in my bed. I was almost to the door when she rolled back over.
"I don't want your bed but since you're so rudely insisting…can we share."
"Are you sure that you are comfortable with that." I would be lying if I didn't say that her words sent lighting through my body.
"I'm safe with you." I crawled next to her and minutes later we were asleep.
The next morning I woke up with a strange pressure on my chest. Bella and I had fallen asleep on opposite ends of the bed, not touching, but now her head lay against my heart. Her slim arms wrapped my torso and mine had mistakenly rounded her waist. I made sure she was still sleeping as I dragged my fingers to her tummy. I could feel the cotton of her tee, the toned muscle and even though I couldn't feel it I knew her baby was there. I spread my fingers watching her face for any change. She slept soundly. I slowly round my hand cupping her belly and failing to feel any bump. I wanted to know what a baby would do to her body. I wanted to wake up every day and see their progress as mother and child. I rubbed shapes across her tummy. I don't know how long I sat in bed wrapped in Bella trying to learn her before baby body but the sun had moved half way across the sky by the time Bella woke. Her eyes looked confused as she searched my face for an explanation. I liked seeing her eyes first thing and I loved having her in my arms. I wanted to wake up everyday living this life. I don't know when the idea came and I will never know why I spoke it out loud but I did.
"Bella Marry me? Let me be a father and …your husband?"
Her eyes sparked and she opened her mouth, closing it without a word. She brought her hand to her chest and I knew I had made the biggest mistake of my life.