Shirelings
Chapter 6
The Brandy Hall Birthday Ball: Part 2
A floor above the dancing, eating, and joke-telling merriment at the party pavilion, Pippin was with the older Brandybuck lads in the Room of Mathoms. The well-furnished room was a miniature museum of sorts, housing collections spanning generations of Brandybucks. Some of the lesser items were blanketed by a thin coat of dust, while the more impressive horns and weapons hung about the walls in pristine condition.
Berilac and Merimas were currently attempting to steer young Drufo away from the prized and possibly problem-causing items and toward the less interesting family trees and antique quilts. Doderic perched by a window, overlooking the festivities below and occasionally commenting on the party-goers' peculiar behaviors. Pippin sat in a much too large velvet armchair next to Merry, who was slumped down in the chair's twin.
"But you were doing so well during the game," said Pippin, as he tried to reach a halfway comfortable position in the gargantuan seat. "How can you be so morose again?"
"She didn't even bother to come and berate me," sighed Merry, slumping even lower than one thought possible. "That's how little she cares now."
"The Thain and his wife sure know how to cut a rug," called Doderic from the window. The others nodded in agreement, knowing quite well that the old hobbits were surprisingly limber in their old age, and quickly resumed their conversations.
"I do think you're looking at this quite wrong," said Pippin, throwing a leg over one of the armrests. "Perhaps she thought if she came, you'd only scream at her and make her more embarrassed."
"You know that doesn't really help," said Merry glaring. Pippin shrugged and continued to fidget, unable to find the right spot in the massive cushion. Finally he gave up and rose to his feet.
"Well, I'm sorry, but it's true. Anyway, if you screamed at me like that, I'd start to imagine you didn't want me around anymore." Then with a broad grin, he added, "But you'd never scream at me like that, would you, Meriadoc?"
"Not unless you started lying to me and playing tricks with my feelings," moaned Merry as he continued to slide down. He was practically on the floor now.
"I wonder what poor bag Larry's playing a trick on tonight," said Doderic. He scoured the dance floor for one of the Hall's more mischievous servants, a fellow who made it his regular tradition to pull pranks on unfortunately homely lasses at the Master's parties. "Pippin, you'd better warn Pervinca, what with that dowdy new hairstyle she's sporting."
"Don't talk about my sister like that!" said Pippin, throwing the large armchair cushion at Doderic and narrowly missing his head. "Maybe her hair is shorter than mine now, but in five years, every girl from here to Michel Delving will want to crop her hair like that!"
"Oh, calm down, you great loon," laughed Doderic. "It looks like Ilberic finally got her to dance with him. No chance of a Larry Attack, at least not while Ilby's got his hands on her."
"He's what?" squawked Pippin.
"What am I going to do?" wailed the pile of mush formerly known as Merry.
"I'll tell you what you'll do!" said Berilac as he strode over, leaving Merimas to wrangle Drufo on his own. "You need to go downstairs and make your father proud!"
Merry and the others stared at him blankly. Even Merimas paused from hog-tying Drufo to give Berilac a look of utter confusion.
"You have to find the prettiest lass down there and twirl her like she's never been twirled before," said Berilac while forcing a demonstration on Pippin. "There's a sea of lovelies out there and you just need to pick one and move on."
"But I already have picked one..." said Merry.
"No! You have to move on," said Berilac as he lifted Merry to his feet and pushed him toward the door.
"But Estella..." said Merry pathetically while being shoved out the door.
"No! Move on!" Berilac slammed the door shut, only to have it swing open again.
"But who should I pick?" said Merry, poking his head through.
"I do not care! Anyone! Just move on!" shouted Berilac as he forced Merry through again.
The door creaked open and all the rest (including Drufo who was tied up on the floor) repeated, "MOVE ON."
Finally the door was shut and Merry left in earnest. Berilac sat down in the unoccupied armchair and released a sigh of relief. The others followed him in sitting and relaxing. This restful silence lasted a full minute before Doderic jumped up from the window.
"So who wants to go read his journal?"
"I know where he keeps it hidden!" said Merimas, also springing to his feet.
The whole gang began to file out of the room, when they remembered Drufo and quickly untied him. As they started to head down the corridor towards Merry's room, Pippin flicked the back of Berilac's head.
"What was that for?" he said rubbing the offended spot.
"Making me the girl in your twirling talk," replied Pippin sullenly. But Berilac laughed and threw an arm around him.
"It's because you're so dainty," he said pinching Pippin's cheek. Pippin scowled, but then laughed as well, being a good sport after all.
And knowing that one day he would be a very important hobbit and they'd all get their comeuppance.
The fast-paced song ended and all the dancing hobbits broke apart from their partners to clap before the band switched to a slower number. A few older couples stayed for the more romantic dance, but the rest returned to their seats to fill up on food before the evening's grand toast. Mundee continued to linger on the dance floor with her new friend, having seen her parents' dual looks of disapproval from their table and not wanting to be harangued just yet.
Mundee glanced at the hobbit out of the corner of her eye and wondered if he was going to ask her to dance again. He turned and smiled, but before he could say anything, the Master of the Hall came up to them and broke the silence.
"Diamond, I'm glad to see you are having a good time," he said with a smile. Then nudging her with his elbow, he added, "Though I'm not so sure your parents are very pleased, eh?"
He grinned and waved at the North Took table where Bandogrim and Delilah were still glaring daggers at her. Drufo was still missing, so that probably wasn't helping their moods. Still, Mundee couldn't feel too guilty about enjoying herself at the party and waved as well. Saradoc laughed and clapped her on the back. She had only met the Master a few times on her father's business trips, but he always struck her as a good-natured old hobbit with an appreciation for fun. Not at all as uptight as some of the other folks of his generation, and certainly not as stern as her parents.
Turning to the other hobbit, he went on, "Now Larry, the big toast is approaching, so I'd like to have some wine brought up. See if you can run to the cellar and fetch several bottles."
"Any particular vintage, sir?" said Larry.
"Oh, I don't know. Just get a few good years." Saradoc smiled kindly and patted Larry on the shoulder, adding, "You can be the judge here."
The Master left to continue entertaining his guests and Larry began to head for the Brandy Hall entrance. Mundee followed after him, naturally.
"Wait for me!" she called as she ran up. "I can help you bring up the wine!"
"Oh, no, I couldn't ask you to do that," said Larry shaking his head. "It's mighty unpleasant down in the cellar. You don't want to go there, what with your clean, pretty frock."
"Please, please let me come with you," Mundee whined. "I promise I won't be a bother."
"If you insist," he said with a strange little smile. As he began to open the door, he added, "Mind the dogs!"
As he disappeared through the entrance, there suddenly came a great baying and shuffling of paws. Mundee snickered as she heard him barking commands at the dogs. After looking back to see that her parents weren't following, she stepped through and shut the door behind her. Inside the dimly lit corridor, a motley pile of hounds lay about in a corner, thoroughly cowed by Larry's scoldings. Only one friendly mutt came up to Mundee, wagging its tail and panting happily.
"Hello there, Doggy!" said Mundee as she petted the sweet old dog. But she couldn't linger long, because Larry was already out of sight, having slipped through another side door. She ran out after him and quickly shut the door, making sure not to let any of the dogs out. The disinterested pack went back to watching the main exit and hoping someone would let them out or at least supply treats.
Catching up to Larry, Mundee could not help but feel that the hallway was a bit on the dark and cramped side. All the similar-looking doors added to her increasing sense of unease.
"I imagine it would be easy to get lost in all these tunnels," she mused timidly.
"It's not pretty to look at, I'll give you that, but it's a servant tunnel and the quickest way to the cellar," said Larry. "If you're frightened, you can take my arm."
Mundee jumped at the opportunity and immediately clung onto his outstretched arm. She was surprised this was going so well- at this point, any other fellow would have rolled his eyes and called her a nasty name. She didn't notice his peculiar smirk or the way he looked over his shoulder to see that they were alone in the hallway.
Finally he stopped in front of a rather foreboding and decrepit door and pulled out a ring of keys. He unlocked the door and held it open, but Mundee was reluctant to head down the rickety staircase into the pitch black cellar.
"But it's so dark!" she gasped as she squinted, unable to see the bottom of the stairs.
"Well, if you're not up for it, then you might as well head back to the party," said Larry after he took a lantern off the wall and went down past her. Mundee gulped as she watched the bobbing light grow smaller and smaller as he descended further down the steps. Mustering all her courage, she hurried down after him and grabbed onto his hand once they'd reached the bottom.
There were several spare candles lying on a shelf, and Larry used the lantern to light one and handed it to Mundee.
"Now the bottles we have here are too new to bring out, so why don't you head into the 1380s section and find a good vintage there?" he said pointing toward the back of the cellar. "It's a few rows over, so you'd best mind your flame and watch for rats."
"Rats?" stammered Mundee. Larry cocked an eyebrow and she immediately threw on a falsely confident smile. "Why should I worry about rats? Dirty little buggers don't stand a chance against me!"
"That's well good, isn't it?" he said, walking down the aisle. "You'd better get a move on, then."
"Right, but where will you be if I need you?" she said, chasing after him. "I mean, I'll need to show you the wine, won't I? For approval, that is."
"I'll just be over here in the 1390s," he said as he turned a corner and vanished.
Mundee watched the glow of his lantern grow fainter and fainter, and shivered in the deepening darkness. She sighed and finally headed for the row he'd pointed out to her. The weak light of her candle gave her little comfort and it was difficult to read the bottle titles. Though the wines were all less than forty years old, the writing on their labels had faded enough to make the chore sorely difficult. Older vintages seemed to be better organized, with the years painted brightly on their shelves, but these had apparently been categorized by someone a few cards short of a deck. And with very horrible handwriting.
As the candle's flame began to flicker, Mundee feared the worst and grabbed several bottles at random. As she began the laborious trek back to the entrance, she heard the door suddenly swing open.
A loud voice called from above, "Oi, Larry! You done yet? Scattergold's nagging to start his toast!"
"All right, I'm coming!" came the response. "Wait a minute, would you?"
Mundee was halfway down her row when she heard footsteps going up the staircase. She began to sprint and just as she made it to the main aisle, she watched in horror as Larry exited and slammed the door shut. The wind from the motion pushed her over, causing the bottles to fall and break and the candle flame to die. For a moment she sat in the absolute darkness in silence, stupefied beyond all thought. But as realization of her entrapment legitimately dawned upon her, she broke out into a cold sweat and began to hyperventilate.
Then the sound of tiny scurrying feet jolted her senses and she dashed up the stairs, faster than she knew herself capable. After a perilous scramble, she reached the top and began to pull on the doorknob. But to her extreme dismay, it would not budge. Someone had locked it.
Mundee cursed in frustration and began to bang on the door. Her fists failing, she tried ramming into the door with her side, hoping the old wood would burst open. But it was stronger than it looked and only caused her shoulder to ache with soreness. She cursed again and kicked the door, now stubbing her toe painfully and almost falling over backwards. Luckily she clutched the railing and caught herself before she took a nasty tumble.
She sat down on the top step and tried to think. Someone would have to pass by eventually. Even though the hallway was a servants' passage and nearly everyone was at the party, including the other servants.
"Oh, who am I kidding? I'll be stuck down here forever!" she cried in despair.
There came a creaking upon the stairs way down below and she could have swore she'd seen several pairs of glowing eyes staring up at her. Now she wasn't normally terrified of rats- though they certainly weren't her favorite animals- but the idea of being feasted upon by millions of sharp little teeth was hardly how she'd like to die. No, she preferred the concept of growing old and going in her sleep. Or maybe consumption. That was certainly more romantic than being eaten alive by rats.
So when she saw the eyes, she crawled to the edge of the door and began to hyperventilate again. And when something furry brushed against her foot, she began to scream at the top of her lungs. As she shrieked and clawed at the door, there suddenly came a sound of footsteps in the hallway.
"Help! Someone! I'm trapped and there are rats climbing up my legs!" she shouted into the keyhole.
She pressed herself against the door and kicked at the rats now attempting to nibble at the jelly between her toes. To her great relief, whoever was outside had stuck a key into the lock and was now turning the knob. When the door finally opened, she fell out onto the floor and the sea of rats went spilling down the hallway, rushing for the kitchen where some poor cooks would no doubt experience a traumatizing episode of their own.
Mundee gasped for air as she watched the horde scurry off. She looked up at her savior... and was shocked to see a very surprised and bemused Pippin.
"Do I even need to ask how that happened?" he said as he helped her to her feet.
"This awful cad tricked me into coming down there with him and then left me alone in the dark!" she uttered, the fear subsiding only to be replaced by rage. "Some terrible goblin named Larry! He danced with me and said I was such a pretty lass and then he locked me in with the rats!"
"Oh... oh!" said Pippin, as he understood that Mundee had been the latest victim of a merciless prankster. He didn't have the heart to tell her why he'd picked her, though. "Well, it's a good thing I came by this way or else it would be quite a kerfuffle, wouldn't it?"
"If by a 'kerfuffle' you mean I'd be gnawed to death, then yes. Yes it would," said Mundee, not finding the situation at all as amusing as Pippin seemed to find it. "Anyway, what were you doing here? Isn't this the servant's hallway or something?"
"Yes it is, actually," said Pippin looking somewhat sheepish. "But it's the quickest way to the kitchen and I meant to sneak some pastries back to Merry's room."
Looking down the hallway where any moment now several agitated cooks would come storming out, he went on, "But I don't think I should like to go there anymore."
"So you were in Merry's room, were you?" said Mundee, perking up now. "Well, let's go back, why don't we?"
"He isn't there. It's just his cousins in there now," said Pippin shaking his head in disbelief. "You know, I really don't think you should try to find him now. He's in a terrible mood."
"But perhaps I could cheer him up," she said, positively bubbly now as she pulled him back towards the exit. "Maybe if I dance with him, his mood will turn right around!"
"I really doubt that," said Pippin. "Listen, why don't we find your brother instead? I'm sure Merry's cousins are quite tired of watching him after all this time."
"Oh, all right," said Mundee stopping and spinning around. "There he is."
Pippin turned and saw that Drufo was indeed coming down the hallway. He appeared to be carrying a rather large box, and not too far behind him Berilac, Merimas, and Doderic were chasing in close pursuit. He was within shouting distance when they tackled him and wrestled the box away. The cousins then helped Drufo up, nodded at Pippin, winked at Mundee, and disappeared down another intersecting corridor.
"Drufo, what were you doing with that box?" said Mundee as her brother came over, dusting off his bottom. "What was in there, anyway?"
"I don't know," said Drufo with a shrug and a smile.
"Then why in the world were you running with it?" said Mundee.
"They wouldn't let me see it," said Drufo. "So I had to take it."
"I know about that box," interjected Pippin. He rubbed his chin, as if deep in thought. "They wouldn't let me see it either. Even Merry's been very secretive about it. And he never keeps secrets from me."
"Speaking of Merry, let's go find him!" said Mundee as she went skipping toward the exit. Pippin rolled his eyes but followed, pulling Drufo along with him, lest the boy decided to go exploring and also discovered the wine cellar.
Once they came outside, Drufo ripped out of his grip and went running to his table, his appetite having caught up with him apparently. Pippin now clutched Mundee who had located Merry and was eager to go have a chat. He was dancing with another girl- Pippin's older niece, actually- and seemed to be having a nice time. Or pretending, anyway.
"Let go!" said Mundee, squirming to no avail. "I won't do anything! I just want to talk to him, that's all!"
"No, you want to go harass him and I don't think he'd appreciate it," said Pippin, steering her away from the dance floor.
"But why?" whined Mundee. "It's that Esmella, isn't it?"
"That's not her name and I pray you won't say that to anyone else," said Pippin. "But, yes, actually, it's because of Estella. I really shouldn't be telling you this, but-"
"But she's not even here, is she?" said Mundee slyly as she looked back at Pippin. "Having a rough patch, are they? Seems to me he could really use some decent company."
"Not yours!" said Pippin a little too loudly, his exasperation now clearly showing. He let go to rub his temples and fortunately Mundee did not use the chance to run off and tackle Merry. She merely stared at him a little hurt and bewildered.
"But I wouldn't do anything wrong," she said quietly. "Am I so awful that just talking would be loathsome to him?"
"No, it isn't you," said Pippin. "Look, you barely know him and you know Estella even less, but trust me, they care for each other quite a bit. It's just useless to try and interfere."
Mundee sighed and gave up, folding her arms and watching the couples twirling around on the dance floor. Little Priscilla was standing on Merry's feet, but she barely came up to his waist.
"She might not be here, but I'll tell you something," said Pippin watching his cousin giving a fake smile to some comely Marish girls. "She's definitely on his mind. This silly quarrel won't last very long."
Mundee sighed again. "What has she got that I haven't got, anyway?"
"Oh, I can't imagine," said Pippin as he mimed a large bosom. She furrowed her brow and frowned exaggeratedly, but ultimately couldn't keep from giggling.
Her father, however, did not find the spectacle amusing, as he approached the two with a look of cold fury upon his face. "Diamond, your mother wants you with us for the toast," he said, moving his lips as little as possible.
"Daddy, you remember Peregrin from Hobbiton," said Mundee brightly, attempting to mollify her livid father. "He's a Took, too, you know."
"From Tuckborough, sir," said Pippin with a nervous grin.
"I know who you are," said Bandogrim frostily. "You're the Thain's boy."
"Oh, have you two met then?" said Pippin, hope rising ever so slightly.
"Yes, unfortunately," said Bandogrim before steering Mundee away. Despite digging her feet into the ground, her father was able to successfully drag her to their table, where her mother was already berating Drufo for his mischief and stains.
Pippin scratched his head, wondering how anyone could find a meeting with his always entertaining father "unfortunate," when suddenly he felt a tug on his hair. He spun around only to find his parents chuckling on his other side.
"So the prodigal son returns!" exclaimed his father. "Be a good lad and walk us back to the table. I believe your uncle is going to make a speech soon."
"So all that dancing has tuckered you out, has it?" said Pippin to his parents as they linked arms with him. "You still seem a bit sprightly, to be honest. What's this really about?"
"Don't get saucy, boy," said Eglantine, pinching Pippin upon the ear. "Can't we spend some time with our one and only son?"
"You saw me today at breakfast," said Pippin, thinking back to one of the few moments he'd been with his parents all week. All other days he was out adventuring with Merry and the other young Brandybucks before his mother and father were even out of bed.
"But you were too busy scarfing down scones to have a proper chat with us," said Paladin mournfully. "When will I have a chance to talk to the heir of my title if he is always wandering about the Shire?"
Even though Paladin was making a joke with his melodramatic display, Pippin felt uncomfortable at just the slightest mention of his heirship. Luckily they were already at the table and he wrenched from their grasp to go play with Priscilla and Jerry. Paladin and Eglantine exchanged a look of disappointment before taking their seats and attaching themselves to their other children who didn't mind the attention.
With everyone finally at their seats, their wine glasses and juice mugs full, the moment was ripe for a speech from the celebrated Master of the Hall. At the moment, however, he was busy begging his son to accept the service of a very successful matchmaker from Stock. Although Saradoc was oblivious to the growing silence from hobbits waiting for the big toast, Merry had become aware of the expectant faces all pointing in their direction.
"I really don't think now is the time for this conversation," he said, pushing a glass of red 1390 wine at his father.
"It's never the time for any sort of conversation, is it?" said Saradoc, refusing the glass. "Well, what time is it, then?"
"It's time for your toast, of course," said Merry, nodding at the attentive and mute crowd of guests. Saradoc opened and shut his mouth a few times before taking the wine glass and stepping onto the little podium that had been set up for this moment. Merry was about to slink off and go sit with Pippin, when Esmeralda pulled him down into a seat next to her in a surprisingly swift motion.
"Well, there isn't much to say other than I'm very glad you all could make it," said Saradoc earnestly. The crowd responded with a loud and raucous shout of "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" but Saradoc gestured for them to simmer down, as he wasn't quite finished.
"Now Melly, I'm not done yet, so if you could just wait a bit before you start up with the Springle-Ring," he said, to the laughter of nearly everyone who could remember Bilbo's birthday. Melilot blushed furiously and hid her head, wondering when she'd be able to live down that episode.
"It's been a grand year, full of pleasant surprises and wonderful times with friends and family. Though it isn't too often that I see all your dear faces, it's a great pleasure that we've been able to gather 'round this evening. I only hope that we can meet more and not just at birthdays, even ones as splendid as this one."
There came a shout of "Hear, hear!" and a few voices echoed the utterance. Saradoc smiled and went on, raising his glass now.
"I don't wish to keep you all from your merriment any longer, so let's drink now: here's to friends and family and joyful meetings!"
As he was about to imbibe his drink, he quickly added one more note while he held everyone's attention: "And I do hope you'll all come to the Free Fair later this month; we've got something very exciting in store to show you all!"
Then he took a mighty sip and everyone erupted into cheers before downing their own glasses. Merry snorted and turned to his mother, who looked equally disquieted.
"How long before he lets it slip?"
"I've been trying to keep him from saying too much, but you know how he is," said Esmeralda apologetically.
"Loves to talk almost as much as he loves to spend money," said Merry with a shake of the head. He could see his father was already handing out 'party favors' to various guests that weren't even leaving yet. He was trying to give Frodo a large model boat that had been built inside an empty wine bottle, but it was very apparent that Frodo had no taste for the tacky mathom.
"I suppose I'd better go help him out," said Merry before standing up and stretching.
"Help whom?" said Esmeralda with a knowing smile. "Your cousin from having to go home carrying a large ugly gift? Or your father from embarrassing himself?"
"Pick one," said Merry chuckling.
Esmeralda watched as he walked off to go disentangle his father from his poor friend and wondered whether she hadn't done such a terrible job raising him after all.