Shirelings
Chapter 7
Fun (and Failure) at the Free Fair
"Carefully... carefully... don't spill it!"
"I'm not spilling it!"
"You are now! You just got my feet wet!"
"Your feet are always wet!"
"How does that even make sense?"
"I will dump this bucket on both of your heads if you don't stop squabbling!"
Merry chuckled as he watched his cousins arguing while filling up a small wooden tank with water. Berilac was in charge of the operation and was understandably anxious today. They were setting up their spot at the Free Fair and had been preparing for several months. As far as the older hobbit was concerned, everything they did up until the big reveal had to go like clockwork or else it would all fall apart.
"And what are you standing around laughing at?" said Berilac, noticing Merry's temporary idleness. "If you're finding your job too dull, I can have you filling the tank with these clowns instead."
"No thank you! This is very stimulating work," said Merry as he picked up his paint brush and resumed working on their sign. "You are kind beyond words for assigning it to me!"
Berilac snorted and returned to overseeing Doderic and Ilberic, who smiled too broadly and dumped their buckets a little too enthusiastically. Meanwhile, Merimas looked up from painting the other end of the sign to see two small Michel Delving children approach their area. He clicked his tongue to alert Merry and both of them stood up to block the children's view of their exhibit.
"Whatchoo got there?" said the older girl, who was missing a tooth, causing her to whistle her words.
"You'll have to wait and see," said Merry genially.
"But we want to see now," whined her younger brother after removing his thumb from his mouth.
"Well, there's nothing to see yet, so shoo!" said Berilac suddenly. His outburst frightened the children and they ran away, probably to find a parent and complain.
"That wasn't necessary!" said Merry folding his arms.
"They were so small," said Merimas quietly.
"Be that as it may, we can't afford anyone finding out what we've got planned," said Berilac as he went back to his task. "Now stop standing around and get back to work!"
Merry and Merimas sighed but returned to their sign-painting. As Merry moved on to coloring in his "Y" he wondered whether Pippin was having more fun at the Took stand.
Away on the South-Western quadrant of the fair, Pippin was hauling crates of Great Smials wines off a wagon and into the Tooks' large yellow tent. His two cousins Ferdibrand and Everard were helping, as well as his brother-in-law Barty Burrows. By the time they finished organizing the wines, they were exceedingly exhausted and decided to crack some of the bottles open.
Pervinca Took had other ideas, however.
"That is not for you lot!" she said, snatching the bottles away one by one and putting them back in their proper receptacles.
"Who died and made you Thain?" said Pippin angrily.
"Dad, as a matter of fact," said Pervinca, placing her hands on her hips. "He told me to make sure you kept out of trouble, in every sense of the word."
"That's fine and dandy for him, but why can't we drink?" said Everard, gesturing at himself, Ferdy and Barty.
"Hear, hear! We deserve it!" said Ferdibrand. "I mean, look at these sweat stains," he said raising his arms.
"You can be swimming in sweat for all I care; those bottles are to be sold," said Pervinca firmly. "Not imbibed."
"Bah, you stopped being fun as soon as you hit thirty," said Everard with a dismissive wave of his hand as he stood up. Ferdibrand stood as well and the two slunk off to find drinks elsewhere.
"I still think you're fun," said Pippin, attempting to get on his sister's good side.
"Don't try to butter me up," said Pervinca with a stony glare. Pippin looked at Barty for sympathy, but Barty merely shrugged as if to say, 'Well, what can you do?' Then, he too stood up and started to leave.
"Where do you think you're going?" came the voice of none other than his rather pregnant wife, Pimpernel.
"Why, dearest, I was coming to find you!" he said as innocently as possible. Pimpernel was having none of it.
"You agreed to helping out at the family tent, didn't you?" she said as she awkwardly made her way around the wide table they had set up at the front.
"Yes, but you're my top priority and I wanted to make sure you were doing well," he said, his voice unintentionally climbing pitches. This seemed to agitate Pimpernel even more.
"I'm pregnant, I'm not an invalid!" she screamed, causing all the surrounding vendors to stare in their direction. Pervinca frowned and took her hand.
"There, there, Pim. He didn't know what he was saying," she said soothingly. "Come on, let's go walk around the fair. I heard someone set up a kissing booth a few rows away."
Pimpernel chortled at the concept and allowed herself to be led away. Pervinca turned around briefly and hissed at Pippin, "Stay!"
Pippin rolled his eyes and then turned back to Barty, who looked quite pale and shaken.
"Care to explain what just happened?" said Pippin.
"I wish I could," said Barty as he patted at his forehead with a handkerchief. "She's been acting so peculiarly these last several months. I don't know what it'll be like when it gets closer to the date."
"It'll be worth it in the end, though, aye?" said Pippin with a wink.
"Aye, indeed!" said Barty with a laugh. Then he pulled a small flask out of an inner pocket. "But in the meantime..."
Pippin laughed as he watched him take a solid swig. "Here now, pass that over!" he said before Barty passed him the flask. "Here's to Bartus Borrows, the bravest hobbit I ever knew!"
As he knocked back a drink, Pearl, Joe, and their small brood came up to the tent. He quickly passed the flask back to Barty but the damage was already done.
"I see someone is having too much fun," said Joe while juggling a fidgety toddler.
"Now I know Mum and Dad put you here for flirting too much at Uncle Saradoc's party..." said Pearl pointing at Pippin. "But you haven't done anything to warrant such a punishment," she continued, pointing now at Barty. "Or have you?"
"Just the Missus having an episode," said Barty. "Nothing out of the ordinary."
"I'll bet you've had days like this, Joe," said Pippin waggling his eyebrows.
"What's that supposed to mean?" said Pearl, a flare of their mothers' epic Banks temper threatening to rise up.
"No, of course not," said Joe with a hearty chuckle. "Pearly treats me too good, actually. If it weren't for her, I'd be stuck selling pipeweed today. Instead I get to wrangle these imps."
Priscilla stuck her tongue out at Pippin while Jerry hopped up and down in an attempt to see over the table.
"Well, we'd better go and find the petting zoo before they go stir-crazy," said Pearl. "We'll see you later. Be good!"
"I am always good!" shouted Pippin after her as she walked off. Then to Joe, he added in an undertone, "I don't know where she heard that I've been punished for 'flirting.' I would never do such a thing!"
"I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm not getting involved," said Joe as he started to follow after his wife.
"But I don't even know how to do it!" cried Pippin, gesticulating wildly.
"It doesn't matter if you don't know how to do it," said Barty suddenly and somewhat morosely. "They'll say anything you do is 'flirting' and then you get to sleep in the guest room."
Pippin sighed at the pathetic display. This was getting to be too much. He needed to figure a way out of the booth so he could see Frodo and Merry and his other cheerful friends and relatives. And maybe see this kissing booth for himself. Just as he was hatching a plan to sneak through the adjoining Banks booth, a freckled sunburnt face popped out from behind the stacked crates.
"Surprise!" said Mundee as she jumped out. Pippin clutched as his heart as he staggered backwards.
"Oh no, not you!" he moaned, throwing his other hand over his eyes.
"Excuse me?" said Mundee, visibly irritated by his reaction. Pippin regained his composure only to start shoving her out the back of the tent.
"You have to leave, right now!" he said as he pushed her toward the exit.
"Are you mad? What are you doing?" shouted Mundee indignantly, refusing to be tossed out like unwanted vermin. She planted herself firmly on the ground and pushed him away. "Of all the nerve! Treating a lass in such a rough way!"
"You deserve as much! Complaining about me after I saved you from that cellar," grumbled Pippin.
"Complaining about you? What are you talking about?" said Mundee, still angry but now also quite confused.
"At the Brandybuck party? Your father went to my father and told him I had been harassing you!" said Pippin. "That I was 'overly familiar and altogether a forward cad.' I don't know what gave you the idea that I'm like that, but let me tell you-"
"Hold on a moment!" said Mundee gesturing for Pippin to stop. "He said all that? But I didn't tell him anything. Only that I'd gotten lost inside Brandy Hall and you helped me get out."
"Then I don't know what I can say, other than your father clearly has a vendetta against me," said Pippin throwing his hands up in the air.
"Well, that's silly," said Mundee. "Although, he does tend to blow things out of proportion. Maybe he just didn't like us chatting so much?"
"You think?" said Pippin with a sarcastic snort. "He has it in for me."
"Maybe he does and maybe he doesn't. But the important thing is, our booth is set up all the way on the North side of the fair," said Mundee with a grin. "He won't be able to spy on me today whatsoever."
"That's wonderful, but I still can't be seen with you," said Pippin. "I'm still in trouble for flirting. So you can just go back out the way you came and go find someone else to bother today."
"Oh, don't be like that," said Mundee rolling her eyes. She grabbed his arm and pulled him out the exit. "Come on, I'll make sure no one sees you. And anyway, I have someone I want you to meet."
"I hope it's not a pretty cousin or else I'm doomed," muttered Pippin.
"My goodness, however did you guess?" said Mundee with earnest surprise. There outside the tent stood a young hobbit maiden, slightly older and taller than Mundee with darker hair and fewer freckles, but otherwise the resemblance was definitely apparent.
"Hi!" said the perky thing stretching out her hand. "I'm Molly, pleased to meet you!"
"Oh no, no, no!" said Pippin as he tried to veer away.
"Don't be so rude!" said Mundee. "Shake her hand!"
Pippin put on a brave smile (which looked quite a bit like a grimace) and hesitantly shook the girl's hand.
"Hullo Molly," he said attempting not to feel as if at any moment one of his sisters would swoop down and throw him in chains. "It's nice to meet you, too."
As the three of them started to walk down the path in a generally Eastwardly direction, Molly shot Mundee a pleased expression and gave her two thumbs up.
"He's just the way you described him," she whispered loudly and obviously. Mundee smacked herself in the forehead and Pippin couldn't help but grin.
"Been talking about me much, eh?" whispered Pippin in a more effective manner.
"Only to tell her what a skinny, silly fool you are," said Mundee before becoming conveniently distracted by a colorful stand. "Ooh, pearls!"
"What? Where?" shouted Pippin, panicking suddenly at the thought that his eldest sister was nearby. Mundee stared at him in bewilderment and Molly covered her mouth to giggle.
"What is wrong with you? It's only jewelry," said Mundee pointing at the many pretty necklaces and other assorted trinkets.
"I thought it was... oh, never mind," said Pippin wiping his moistened brow.
"I like jewelry, but I'm not supposed to wear it," said Molly out of the blue. "Mother says it's a choking hazard."
"Your mother also says colorful clothes are for strumpets," muttered Mundee while examining a music box that didn't seem to play any sort of melody. It only chirped mechanically.
As Pippin continued to look around anxiously, he realized that he probably would not enjoy the rest of the day if he were stuck with the girls, constantly worrying about being discovered by a relative. Not to mention that they were a bit too loopy to introduce to polite company. If he wanted to see Merry or Frodo or any of his friends today, he'd have to find a way to escape the lasses' clutches. And they were surprisingly strong clutches as they now dragged him off to inspect a hat booth.
Merry had finished hanging the sign and with the tank more or less filled, the lads had more secretive work to do. They all started to hang up a privacy curtain when some of the Brandybuck girls came by to see what their brothers and cousins were up to. Melilot, being the most inquisitive of the bunch, tried to get past the curtain, but each attempt was thwarted as one of the lads stepped up to block her off.
"Would you stop that!" she finally shouted as her brother pulled the curtain shut in front of her nose. "Merimas, this isn't funny! I want to see whatever it is you are all hiding!"
"It's not up to me whether you can see it or not," whispered Merimas through the gap. "Berilac is in charge and he's told us not to let anyone see the- the thing we're working on."
"But this is part of the Brandybuck area and we are Brandybucks, too," said Mentha, who was oldest of the girls and usually the calmest. "Why can't you let us in on the plan?"
Berilac came up to the curtain and pushed Merimas aside, facing off with the girls. "This project has been developed by the Brandybucks not the Brandydoes, if you catch my drift. You've had nothing to do with it all this time, so we're not about to let you in on it now that it's ready for display."
The girls stared at him, livid and indignant at this blatant disrespect.
"Ilberic!" called Celandine suddenly. "Ilby, come out here. Pervinca Took wants to see you."
Her brother immediately dashed out looking excited and then crestfallen at the lie. "What do you want?" he said, irritated to have been tricked so.
"What's in there, eh?" said Celandine. "You've been keeping mum about it for long enough. We want in."
"You know I can't," said Ilberic under his break while giving Berilac a sideways glance. "Anyway, why should I tell you anything when you lied to get me out here?"
"I really think you'll want to tell me what's in there," said Celandine sweetly. "Because if you don't, I will find Pervinca and I will tell her everything. Everything."
Ilberic looked horrified and a little nauseous at the very real threat, but was more frightened of Berilac's wrath presently and slunk back inside. The girls bristled but began to leave, sensing they would get no leeway with the stubborn lads.
"Good boy," said Berilac as he patted Ilberic's shoulder. "You showed her."
"This isn't over!" cried Melilot as they disappeared into the crowd. "We'll be back!"
"I think we've made a mistake leaving the girls out," said Merry. "They can be very crafty, you know. It might be more trouble than it's worth being this secretive."
"You say that now, but wait until everyone sets their eyes on this," said Berilac, an almost maniacal glee shining in his eyes as he lifted up a rather heavy box. "Now let's get it in the water."
Somehow Pippin made it through the most fashion-inclined section of the fair without clawing his eyes and ears out. The girls had stopped at every stand to ooh and ah at all the hats, gowns, and jewelry they could lay their eyes on. But thankfully they were now in the more sensible part where folks sold food and drinks and things he could actually find use for. More importantly, there would be people he knew here. Particularly Frodo and the Gamgees, who always shared a booth.
Unfortunately, Frodo seemed to be missing from his stand, with Sam attempting to man the station while conversing with his nearby Cotton friends. Gaffer Gamgee was apparently taking a nap in his seat while the rest of the Gamgee clan haggled with customers over their many fine fruits and vegetables.
"Good day, sir," said Pippin, putting on his most blue-blood accent as he approached Sam. "I'd like to purchase one of everything."
"Good day, Mister Pippin," said Sam with a sincere smile. It had been some time since the sandwich stealing episode and there was no ill will between them anymore. "What can I do for you?"
"Well, first you can sell me one of your freshest apples," said Pippin as he pulled out several coins from his pocket. "And second you can tell me where Frodo has scurried off to."
Sam plucked a bright red apple from a large bucket hidden underneath the table and handed it to Pippin.
"On the house," he said, handing the apple over. Pippin looked ready to object, but Sam held up a hand. "Mister Frodo said if any of his 'close friends' should come by, they can get anything they want from his crop for free. And I can't tell you exactly where he's gone to, seein' as I don't rightly know myself, but he did say he wanted to see what his Brandybuck kin are up to. So I'd wager that's where he is now, or close enough."
"Ah, that Frodo! Always two steps ahead," said Pippin as he polished the apple on his lapel. "Thanks very much, Sam. You can be very helpful when you're not stuffing bacon down a fellow's satchel."
Sam chuckled and shook his finger. "Now, now, that was never exactly proven, was it? Could've been anyone that did that."
Pippin furrowed his brow in mock frustration but then laughed and leaned against the stand. He gazed over at the Cottons' area where Mundee and Molly seemed engaged in a very lively and flirtatious conversation with Nick and Nibs, the two youngest Cotton boys. Sam's eye seemed to stray in the same direction.
"Didn't you only have one lass following you around last time?" said Sam, an uncharacteristically sly look on his face. "I know I said you moved fast, Mister Pippin, but this is a new record, make no mistake!"
Pippin rolled his eyes. "How is Rose Cotton doing these days?" he said glancing at Rosie as she pretended not to be staring forlornly at Sam. Her complexion now reflected her name more than her coppery hair usually did. "Seems like she could use some company, don't you think?"
"I'm sure she is as fine as ever," stammered Sam, now blushing as well. "That is, I'm sure she isn't any worse than before. Not that she was ever bad. Oh, you know what I mean!"
"Sam, you're working too hard," said Pippin, with a faux-sympathetic frown. "It's starting to show."
With that, he strolled over to the Cotton stand and began to lead Mundee and Molly away.
"Come on, there are many more interesting booths to visit," said Pippin.
"Oh, not yet! Nibs was about to show me where he got his nickname from," whined Mundee while looking back at her new friends.
Pippin looked back as well and arched an eyebrow at the youngest Cotton, who was giving the girls an altogether unwholesome look. It set them off giggling and Pippin knew he had to think quick or else he'd be responsible for the unfortunate events that were sure to ensue should he allow them to stay with the apparently lascivious youth.
"But don't you want to try the best pastries in the Shire?" he said as he pointed at a booth coming up on their left. This instantly caught their attention and in a second they had forgotten all about the handsome Cotton boys.
"I love pastries!" said Mundee cheerfully. "It's my second favorite thing in the world!"
"What's your first favorite thing?" said Pippin.
"Ale," said Mundee. Pippin rolled his eyes.
"I'm not usually allowed to have pastries," said Molly excitedly. "They make me act strange."
"Stranger than usual?" whispered Pippin to Mundee, causing her to snort loudly.
"Don't worry, Moll, you'll be fine. This is going to be-" Mundee cut herself off as she saw who it was that was selling the pastries. "Oh no. Not her. You didn't tell me we were going to see her."
Molly continued skipping ahead towards the Bolger booth, but Mundee stopped in her tracks and glared at Pippin.
"What? Estella is good at baking!" said Pippin. Mundee continued to glare. "You don't really intend to miss out on the best sweets in the Shire because of this ridiculous hatred you've cooked up out of nothing?"
Mundee stared at him a moment longer before sighing and walking on. "These better be some spectacular pastries."
Pippin shook his head but then put on his most winning grin as he came up to the booth, where Molly was already gawking at the sugary goods.
"Hello Bolgers!" he exclaimed. "How goes the pastry rivalry?"
"Oh, it goes. It goes, indeed!" said Estella somewhat darkly as she gazed past him and at the Cotton stand.
"She's invented some amazing new treat apparently," said Fatty as he stood up to greet their new customers properly. "Who are your little friends?"
"Well, this is Molly- we've just met," said Pippin gesturing at Molly who was sniffing all the platters of biscuits and cakes and pies. "And this is Mundee-"
"Oh, so that's the lass Estella was telling me about!" said Fatty with a chuckle. Mundee gave him a strange look and then turned to Estella.
"What did you say about me, Esmella?" she said saucily. Estella at last jerked her attention away from the Cottons and looked at Mundee, trying to digest what she'd just heard. Pippin sensed the storm that was about to hit and quickly shifted gears.
"Do go on and tell us more about your scrumptious baked goods!" he said quickly. Fortunately, Estella was more in a mood to talk pastry business than to get into a petty fight with a silly tweenager.
"Well, I don't want to reveal too much..." she said, lowering her voice to a conspiratory tone. "...but this is sure to top whatever Rosie Cotton has made! I'll beat her this year for sure!"
Looking directly at Rosie, Estella waved and smiled brightly. Rosie returned the gesture and then went back to serving customers slices of her famous cherry pie. "She won't know what hit her," said Estella as she continued to smile, her eyes wild with jealousy and glee.
Estella and Rosie had the most hilarious rivalry when it came to baking. Each one was very talented (though naturally Pippin favored Estella's products, what with having tried them more often), but every year at the Free Fair, Rosie Cotton came away with the blue ribbon while Estella always came in second place. It obviously drove her a little mad, but it was the sort of useful madness that led to the creation of delicious treats. So Pippin didn't mind fanning the flames if it meant encouraging her to get better and more creative.
Mundee, however, saw this as an excuse to antagonize one whom she'd labeled as her sworn enemy, for whatever reason young lasses do.
"Oh, I don't know about that," she said innocently. "I was talking to Nibs, Rosie's brother, and he seemed certain that her cherry pie would win again this year. I wish I'd gotten to try a piece."
"No one wants to hear what Nibs has to say!" said Pippin, suddenly very agitated. He wasn't sure why he cared, but the importance she gave Nibs' opinion bothered him a great deal. "I want to hear more about these new treats Estella has made."
"All right, all right! Stop nagging me already!" shouted Estella angrily, acting as if they'd been pestering her for an hour rather than less than five minutes. "Here they are," she said, pulling out a huge platter with a dark cloth covering its contents. She removed the cloth dramatically to reveal a pyramid of dark brown cube-like pastries stacked upon each other. No one present had ever seen anything of the sort.
"Well, go on. Try them," she said to the confounded group. "There's more where that came from. I've actually made enough for half the Shire."
Without further ado, everyone dug in, grabbing a cube and taking a bite. It didn't take more than that initial bite for anyone to realize how ridiculously and magnificently tasty the new invention was.
"I don't know what to say, Stell..." said Fatty as he stared hypnotized at the brown clump of deliciousness in his hand.
"It's... it's so..." stammered Mundee, attempting to find the right words to describe her piece.
"I think..." began Pippin, also unable to quite put his feelings into words.
"Well? Go on, for heaven's sake!" screamed Estella, unable to wait any longer.
"I think this is the best thing I've ever had!" said Pippin at last, throwing his arm up in the air and showering everyone with crumbs from his piece. No one paid any mind; they were too busy attempting to express their ecstasy.
"Stella, they're amazing," said Fatty.
"I don't even know you and I love you for this!" exclaimed Molly, causing a few raised eyebrows.
"They're rather good..." said Mundee slowly as she chewed her second bite. "What's your secret?"
"Well, I really can't say, but-" began Estella before Fatty cut her off.
"She was given this strange powder from Poppy Bolger when she and our cousin Filibert went South for their honeymoon."
Estella glared at her brother for taking all the mystique away from her new creation in one somewhat rushed statement.
"That's it? Powder?" said Mundee as she looked at the two Bolgers, incredulous at the unremarkable secret.
"Well, yes, but there were other steps," said Estella, attempting to change the topic. "Anyway, I'm glad you like them. But the thing is, I can't think of a proper name for them."
Everyone took a moment to think as they mused upon the qualities of the new pastry.
"Well, they're not quite cookies, but they're not quite cakes, either," Mundee pondered aloud as she stared at the brown clump. "How about cakookies?"
Her suggestion was met with a wall of blank stares.
"How about tasty squares?" said Pippin as he took a large bite of his second helping. "Because they're so very tasty!"
"Or magic blocks! Because they taste like magic!" chimed in Molly. Her suggestion was met with silence and one loud snort from her cousin.
"Well, they're brown. What about brownies?" said Fatty as if this was the most obvious answer.
Estella rubbed her temple in agitation. "Do you know what else is brown?"
Fatty screwed up his brow in concentration. "Lots of other delicious food-stuffs?"
"And manure," added Mundee, her mind instantly sinking into the gutter. Everyone quickly made the connection as well and cringed at the thought.
"I think I'll go with tasty squares then," said Estella. "Thank you, Pippin."
Just as the group was about to go for another round of the aptly named tasty squares, Pippin noticed a familiar dour face in the crowd and stepped aside to greet her first.
"Hello Lobelia!" As her expression became even more impossibly unpleasant, he quickly added, "Er, Mrs. Sackville-Baggins, ma'am."
"I know you. You're the Thain's loafer of a son, Peregrin," said Lobelia squinting at his face. "Well, what do you want? Speak up, boy."
"Where is Darling?" said Pippin, attempting some small talk and remembering the adorable little dog that had followed him, Merry and Frodo home not too long ago.
"I beg your pardon!" said Lobelia, raising her umbrella in a somewhat threatening manner.
"I mean your little dog," sputtered Pippin. "The one that Frodo had to return to you after it followed us to Bag End."
"Oh, that Darling," said Lobelia, lowering the umbrella, much to Pippin's relief. "I left her at home. There are far too many coarse, low-bred people here. She isn't built for such a climate. If that's all you want, I will send her your... regards. Good day."
She began to hobble off but Pippin wasn't one to give up that quickly.
"Wait! You are judging the Best Baked Goods competition, isn't that right?" he called out.
"I am also judging three other competitions," said Lobelia in an irritated tone as she slowly turned back around. "What of it?"
"Well, I have the future winner right here at the Bolger booth!" said Pippin, gesturing at Estella who was hiding behind her hand. "You have to try Estella's 'Tasty Squares'! They're the best thing I've ever eaten!"
"And he eats a lot," added Mundee with a light elbow jab at his belly.
"I eat more," grumbled Fatty.
Lobelia was not finding any of their chatter amusing and was keen to get to the Cotton booth already.
"Mind your manners and do not interrupt when others are speaking, uncouth child!" she snapped at Mundee.
"It's true, though! Estella has created the best new treat since sliced bread!" said Pippin enthusiastically. Then in an undertone, he added, "And Mundee is an uncouth child!"
Mundee scowled at Pippin predictably but surprisingly kept her mouth shut.
"I will try these 'tasty squares,' as you seem to call them. But Lotho will try them first," said Lobelia as she snapped her fingers in the air. "I have a sensitive palate and cannot risk upsetting it with poorly-made sweets."
Estella removed her hand and hissed, "'Poorly-made?'"
Fortunately Lobelia was getting to be a little hard of hearing and only continued to snap for her son to follow her. Finally Lotho grudgingly pulled himself away from the Boffins' Famous Treacle Stand and came to see what she wanted. She didn't have to say anything; she merely pointed at the tasty squares and Lotho knew what she expected. He sighed and took the piece Pippin proffered excitedly.
"Isn't it good?" said Pippin as he watched Lotho chew on the pastry with an expression dour enough to match the one his mother always sported. "Doesn't it make you want to sing or dance?"
"Doesn't it make you want to turn into a sparrow and fly into the clouds?" said Molly while flapping her arms and hopping from foot to foot. Lotho took a moment from his chewing to raise an eyebrow at her display.
"You know, believe it or not, I really don't need your help," said Pippin quietly as he pushed Molly to the back of the small crowd that was now forming around the stand.
Fortunately, Molly's peculiar way of expressing herself did not deter Lotho from accurately analyzing the treat. "Mother, this is wonderful," he said to everyone's surprise as he handed her a piece. "You must try one."
"Oh? But it looks so... brown," said Lobelia as she turned the clump over in her hand.
"Yes, it is a rather unappealing shade, but it's like nothing I've ever tried before," said Lotho.
"If you insist," said Lobelia before taking a bite. Everyone watched her chew with bated breath.
"Well? What do you think, ma'am?" said Estella anxiously after Lobelia had swallowed.
"What do I think? I'll tell you what I think," said Lobelia, her temper rising slowly. "This... this thing is more rich and indulgent than I care to explain. It is much too sweet and yet darkly bitter at the same time. It makes me think of heathen barbarians and dark, far-off places."
"Does that mean you like it?" said Estella meekly, hoping against hope that she did.
"NO!" said Lobelia angrily, slamming the tasty square down upon the table. "This is sinful, hellish food, if it can even be called that! This is not for hobbits, it is for wild people with no sense or tradition! This is the food of doxies and rapscallions! This is what your mothers should have warned you about! You are disqualified and banned from the baking competition! FOR LIFE!"
And with that she shuffled off in an angry huff, spitting out tiny bits of tasty square as she headed for the Cotton booth, where Rosie was already holding up her pie and smiling jubilantly. All the crowd that had gathered to try the tasty squares now dispersed, murmuring amongst themselves and pointing at Estella, who stared straight ahead in disgrace and dejection.
"The Shire just isn't ready for brownies yet, Estella," said Fatty patting her shoulder.
"They're called tasty squares!" screamed Estella as she threw the cover back over the platter of unfortunately futuristic pastries. Sensing that the Bolger booth was no longer a pleasant place they wished to linger, Pippin and the girls started to slowly back away. Fatty gave Pippin a beseeching look and Pippin mouthed, 'Meet me later.'
Frodo Baggins deftly meandered through the surprisingly thick crowd around the Brandybuck pavilion. He was even more surprised once he reached the front because the mass of hobbits seemed to be focused on neither the Food and Drinks booth nor the Mathoms and Trinkets booth, but on a great curtained area in between with only a haphazardly painted sign for a display. Several older hobbits sat on either side at the usually popular stands which were now fairly deserted compared to the mysterious new attraction. They pretended not to peer out of their booths and glower at the crowd that now ignored them. Frodo, however, ambled over to see if he could get any information out of these distant relations.
"Good afternoon, ladies," said Frodo brightly to Esmeralda and Hilda, who were both absentmindedly chopping great blocks of cheese. He could see Mentha, Melilot, and Celandine milling about in the background but they took no notice of his greeting.
"What's so good about it?" said Hilda grumpily as she pulled out a new block of cheese, seeing as the last one was already as sliced up as it could go.
"Hello there, Frodo," said Esmeralda. "Don't mind Hilda, she's just irritated about that silly new booth the boys have been working on."
"As you are and as are most of us regulars," added Hilda, shaking her knife at Esmeralda.
"Have I come in at the wrong moment?" said Frodo warily as he wondered whether he shouldn't have just gone to the Mathoms booth instead. "I was hoping to find out what that was all about... and perhaps buy myself some lunch. I could return later if now is not a good time."
"Oh, nonsense! Stay and have a bite," said Esmeralda as she began to prepare him a plate. "I'm afraid we know as much as you do about that curtain, though. Merry and his friends have been very secretive about the whole affair."
"Isn't that ridiculous, though?" said Hilda as she threw several slices of cheese onto the plate. "He's our first customer all day and why? Because of that preposterous project! And I'll tell you something else: I bet it won't even be worth the hullabaloo it's getting now!"
"Hilda!" gasped Esmeralda. "Doderic and Ilberic have been working on it for months! How can you say that?"
Hilda shrugged as she finished chopping the new block of cheese and moved onto a roll of vaguely meat-like appearances. "What does it matter? You know they're hardly the brains of the outfit. Your Merry is in the same boat. It's that Berilac that's come up with the plan and it's him that's making them act so strange now."
As she ranted, Frodo watched her daughter and the two other Brandybuck girls quietly slip out the back. He was torn between wanting to see what they were up to and wanting to wean more information out of the older women.
"I'm sorry to hear about that," said Frodo as he picked up his plate and put down some money (which Esmeralda promptly refused and stuck back in his pocket). "Do either of you know when their booth or exhibit is supposed to open?"
"Soon I think, but then they've been saying 'soon' for several hours now," said Esmeralda with a shrug. "Why don't you stay a while? You can eat your meal in peace and catch up on Brandy Hall gossip."
"Tempting though that is, I think I'd better go find Peregrin and make sure he finds his way here," said Frodo as he began to shuffle away. With a wave, he added, "I'll be sure to return for dinner, though!"
As he left their sight, he headed not quite for the infamous curtain but the side where he could see the girls attempting to peek inside. Melilot was sitting on her sister's shoulders while Celandine perched precariously on a tower of stacked crates. It didn't seem like they were making much progress, as they could barely see over the top of the curtain.
"Can you see anything at all like that?" said Frodo as he approached them, all the while chewing on a pickle with an amused look on his face.
"Not really," said Melilot as she strained her eyes. "But it's hardly the point."
"Oh?" said Frodo as he watched Celandine climb down and pull out a damp and nasty crate that had been hidden behind Mentha's long skirt. He wrinkled his nose as he saw that it was filled with rotten fruits and vegetables.
"It's only fair," said Celandine apologetically in response to Frodo's suddenly horrified expression. "This is just what happens when someone treats as poorly us as our brothers and cousins have."
Frodo watched in shock and disgust as Celandine handed Melilot the rotten items one by one and the younger lass chucked the fruit and vegetables over the curtain. Within half a moment he could hear shouting from where the repugnant objects were landing. As a volley of half-squashed and moldy tomatoes came flying back over, Frodo made his quick getaway and was happy to find himself involved with neither side. And as he headed away from the Brandybuck pavilion, he hoped wherever Pippin was he wasn't getting into such a filthy mess.
There were several lines in the petting zoo. As it so happened, Mundee had chosen the shortest one, though that was hardly saying much. It stretched so far ahead that no one could even see where it started.
"What are we even waiting on this line for?" said Pippin, cranky to have been wheedled into coming to the petting zoo with the girls. Molly was eager to see some "exotic animals," as she had it in her head that there'd be more than just farm animals. Adorable baby farm animals, but farm animals nonetheless.
"You're taller than us; why don't you just look and see?" said Mundee, growing equally grumpy at his sulking. She wasn't particularly fond of waiting on lines, either. Pippin craned his neck and stood on his toes, but to no avail.
"Not nearly tall enough," he said. "I'd have to be as big as the great Bullroarer to see from all the way back here."
"I reckon Bullroarer wouldn't be complaining so much if he were here," grumbled Mundee.
"You know, I bet by the time we get to the front, it'll be nightfall and the zoo will be closed," said Pippin folding his arms.
"Don't say that!" cried Molly suddenly. "I want to see the oliphaunt!"
Before Pippin could point out all the logical discrepancies with her statement, Mundee shook her head warningly and he shut his mouth. It simply wouldn't be any use.
"I'm sure we'll get there soon," said Mundee patting Molly's arm gently. "The line seems to be moving faster now."
Indeed it was, but not because people were getting to do or see whatever they were on line for, but because many were wandering ahead to listen to a fight someone was apparently having in the front. Mundee could hear the shouting now and recognized the voice, much to her dismay and annoyance.
"Oh bother," she sighed. "I'd better go see what's the matter. Save my spot!"
She ran up ahead, pushing through the thickening crowd, meanwhile leaving behind an annoyed Pippin and a pleased Molly. After some unfortunately necessary shoving and jostling she made it to the front where her fears were confirmed. Her brother Drufo seemed to have gotten into a spat with the animal handler in charge and the argument must have escalated rather quickly. Both the boy and the older hobbit were rather red in the face.
"Drufo, what in the world is going on?" she said as she made her way over to him.
"He's not letting me in!" said Drufo as he pointed an accusatory finger at the fuming hobbit, who was now comforting what seemed like a very worried goat.
"This is the goat ridin' paddock! It's for wee lads and lasses!" shouted the hobbit. "How many times do I have to tell'ee! Yer too big!"
"That's what this is all about?" said Mundee, unsure whether to laugh or pinch her brother's ear. "This is ridiculous. I'm taking you back to Mum and Dad."
"No, I don't want to go!" cried Drufo. "I want to ride the goat! I'm not too big!"
"I'm sorry about him, sir," she apologized to the goat handler. "He still acts like a tot sometimes."
"What's a big ten year old like that want ridin' on little Pernilla anyway?" said the hobbit as he continued to pet Pernilla, who was still rather shook up.
"I'm fourteen!" shouted Drufo as Mundee began to drag him off.
"All the more reason to leave my Pernilla alone!" yelled the hobbit causing Pernilla to bleat anxiously.
Mundee ravaged Drufo with a flurry of threats as she headed to the back of the line, but she fell into stunned silence when she found Molly waiting on the line by herself.
"Where did Pippin go?" she asked.
"Ooh, is Pippin here? I liked him!" piped up Drufo.
"He was here, but then he had to go," said Molly. "A friend came and bade him follow."
"What friend? What are you talking about? Who was it?" said Mundee in agitation.
"I don't remember his name, but he was tall and fair and had bright eyes," said Molly trying to be helpful.
"That could be any Took or Brandybuck!" said Mundee as she rubbed her temple.
"Had a bit of a cleft in his chin," Molly added with a shrug. Mundee sighed. In the end it didn't matter who it was. The point was Pippin had scampered off at the earliest chance of escape without so much as a word of farewell. Whomever it was he'd joined was clearly more interesting and important to him.