"That there's no way I can pull this off" I said as I laid on my stomach attempting to do homework. Of course there was no need to do homework, seeing as it was only Saturday-Imogen stayed for a sleepover due to the fact Mom wouldn't be home and I would be all alone and Imogen didn't think it would be a good idea.
"All you have to do is believe I'm Eli, despite how I'm not physically equipped" Imogen said. On paper that was easy, but I wasn't positive I'd be comfortable being with Imogen-kissing, flirting- outside of my home. I just stared ahead and looked down unncertain. Imogen sat on the floor below me.
"Uh...Like acting but not acting..." I lulled out completely out of things to say.
"Pretty much! Like full time pretending" Imogen said as she undid her hair out of her ponytails which let it fall to her shoulders.
It was night time, around ten when Mom came home. She was talking loudly to Jake's dad as exchanges of kisses were produced. Imogen and I laid awake listening to Dr. Drew's sex talk show on the radio. Awkward to listen to with everyone except for Imogen. She said I needed to become comfortable with this sort of stuff, so I did as she wished.
I clicked it off and turned away, cuddling my head into the pillow. It was hotter out so the window stayed open, a cool breeze evoked my room. My mom came in shortly after to see Imogen's arm around my waist with my shirt hitched up, funny enough we were spooning on purpose, just to spite my Mom.
Being a conservative, religous type she removed Imogen's arm away and gently shoved her away from me. She thought we were fast asleep as she tucked me again as if I were five.
"Don't be gay...I don't think I need that, it's bad, Clare" Mom whispered to me softly before leaving the room. I waited till she had turned off her lights for several minutes before shaking Imogen. She woke up from her minor doze and propped herself on her elbows sleepily.
"Y-es?"
"I think I can do this now, I have motivation...my love" I said as I kissed her on the mouth quickly. She smiled and hugged me before dozing back to sleep. I knew this would be revenge on my mother, having to live with someone so different from her, something she wouldn't ever understand. The divorce was hard on me, but this would shatter my mom.
x-x-x-
I woke up the next morning to thunder, lightening and a pool of rain falling everywhere. It was nine already, which was strange because I never slept this late. I got up slowly too look out the window, Mom always worked on Sundays, then spent the rest of the day with her pottery club. Twas' annoying being alone most of the time, but nice that I was a teenager living by myself with occasional visits from my dad-how else would I sort all of this shit out?
I turned on the radio along with most of the lights in my very dark, and damp in some places due to the window being open from the night. Music blared and Imogen gasped as she jumped up, pillow in arm as if she were ready to fight ninjas. Her eyes looked everywhere before realizing the house wasn't under attack.
"Morning sunshine" I chirped as I changed into clothes consisting of jeans and a grey long sleeved shirt.
"Gah did mother earth decide to pour grey paint everywhere?" Imogen said as she fixated her eyes on the window outside. Her lengthy arms traced the chipping paint on the frame before closing the window, obviously a bit cold.
"Apparently" I said as I put my cross underneith my shirt and crystal studs in my ears. Imogen was already dressed before I turned around.
"Here" she said as she put a red and black tye around my neck "Needed more color"
She brushed her teeth ridiculously fast and shook out her hair, adding one of my red bows into the side to clip back the messy parts.
"What's the plan today?" Imogen asked as she laced her shoes up and added multiple bracelets and necklaces of mine and hers onto her.
"To show off our relationship" I said sweetly before applying red lipstick. Imogen didn't wear much makeup besides the basics-eyeliner, mascara, some natural colored eye shadow and a bit of lip gloss.
"Deal my lesbian lover" She purred before kissing my cheek.
We didn't bother with a umbrella, we used the hoods of our jackets for rain protection. Imogen danced ditzly in the street, literally stopping traffic due to cars fearing they'd hit her. She came scurrying back and locked hands with me when they honked their horn at her.
"Eli will be at The Dot" She said excitedly. I always wondered if she was a computer/phone/brain hacker because she always knew where everyone was. If I asked her where Declan Coyne was, who resided in New York, I'd most likely get a plausable answer.
"What should we do? How should I act?" I asked her while I linked arms, untangling our hands.
"Remember Clare, I'm Eli, you love me and our goal is to make him want you" Imogen stated "You two are soul mates, that should be your motivation"
"My mom's homophobic, I think this will definately enrage her" I chuckled a bit while spotting a tiny stone to kick in my steps. The rain was bipolar-downpour to sprinkle and back again.
"My mom did acid for years before she had me, then she followed her dream of art and then married her ancient professor, who she fell inlove with via alone class time" Imogen said. It made sense, the acid must have somehow got into her brain from the umbilical cord and made her see differently from most other people. I wondered if I would ever see her mom, or atleast where she lived.
"Sounds like a movie" I said as Imogen rolled her eyes.
"So,-" Imogen said as she opened the door to the Dot, which was overpopulated with mom's with toddlers to the back, teenagers invaded every other crevase "-your dad never visits"
"He lives across town, works a lot, probably isn't to keen on accidently stepping in on mom and her boyfriend which is why he tends to avoid me"
"Oh, well you have his eyes" Imogen said as she sat down. The comment caught me off gaurd.
"Wait, how'd you know that?" I questioned. I tried to think if there was a picture, or a letter that said somewhere about eyes.
"At the awards, your parents were fighting nonstop outside about you running across stage with Eli and leaving, his eyes flashed in every direction so I got a good look"
"Oh, that's when the fighting was really bad" I said, not intending to confide in her this much.
"I know, you got a piercing that night too, so did Eli" I straightened up a bit, she must have noticed my uncomfortableness.
"Common knowledge, Clare-I didn't follow you two around hopelessly, I'm not that pathetic" Imogen said, clearing up my past concerns about her sanity.
"Just checking" I sat back in my chair while Imogen sketched. I ordered a chocolate milkshake, and Imogen ordered black coffee with sixteen pieces of bacon. Maybe that's why she's so petite.
I liked being silent, it was nice that it wasn't strange around Imogen. I watched people come in and out, I played Pinball on my phone, I even drew in the picture on the placemat with crayons.
After several minutes of fiddling Eli walked in with Adam, he stopped in his tracks of what he saw. Imogen's foot played footsie with mine for alteast thirty seconds before Eli came in, kind of funny how she worked like a clock. She dropped her sketch pad and sporatically kissed my lips. It wasn't strange, actually a bit natural since she was 'Eli' without the actual person being there. Her mouth was tastefully delicious, and it made all my senses arouse in weird ways. As if I were doing something utterly wrong but for myself this time, I could enjoy myself. Adam slapped Eli on the shoulder repeatidly to turn around, but he was too late. He missed it and Adam laughed at his slowness. Now Eli was extra paranoid about this whole I-Clare.
"Here you go ladies" The server put our food down and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at both of us while hanging around our table for a minute.
"Is there something you may want?" Imogen asked.
"I was wondering if you guys are actually lesbians or...?" The guy asked in a slightly kinky voice.
"Well we were actually brought together by that guy!" Imogen pointed to the all black wearer that was sitting with his back to us "You see, he made us lesbians and we realized we loved one another so...here we are" she said the last part softer and to me.
The server backed off when the angry moms made mad faces at him to hustle up. I winked at Imogen as if to tell her that she's a genius.
"I have a question miss Imogen" I began before pushing my milkshake aside "what's your real orientation? Bi or really experimental...?"
"I don't have a gender preferance, I think love is genderless and if you can find someone that loves you, gender is just a materialistic matter..So in society's eyes I'm bisexual"
"Huh, that's a very...observant way to look at it" I instantly thought that when everythings back to normal, Imogen should date Adam.
We talked lowly and closely so that no one could hear our conversations. We talked exactly about what couples do-window shopping, last night, one anothers hair and why they were texting back so slowly eight days ago. It seemed to irk everyone that walked close by how creepily we were close. Our hands touched and I moved my thumb over her knuckles. Everything is easier when your actions aren't for real, that's why pretending with Imogen was easy for me.
After we finished our 'meals' we got up and loudly manuevered to the ladies bathroom, which passed Eli on the way.
"I wuv your eyes when you get excited" I said to Imogen before she pinched my sides with a cheery smile to hurry up into the bathroom. We exploded into laughter when we got in. Grabbing the sink for support and Imogen sitting on the floor, giggling her brains out.
"I wonder what he thinks we're doing" I said as Imogen got up. We had to keep our voices quiet, just incase someone was over hearing.
"I bet he doesn't believe us...So I say, we give him evidence" Imogen said suggestively as I was pulled in for a sloppy, extra kinky kiss. My lipstick smeared a bit to the side as I rubbed my mouth down her neck, for acting purposes of course.
"Your kissing is getting better, I might actually be getting something out if it now" Imogen commented as she carefully moved hair from my face. Everything was a bit still for a moment as I dazed for a few seconds, feeling lost in my own world. I wondered if that was Imogen's intention. I snapped out of it when a few girls walked in, which was our cue to walk out, hand in hand. Bursting through the doors Imogen ran out and played in the rain, tongue sticking out.
"I can't get any raindrops! You try!" Imogen said as she stuck her tongue out too get raindrops. I shook my head no, the curls in my hair weren't natural so they'd poof and then I'd have to re-curl even more. Being a girl is actually awful. I put the hood on my sweatshirt up as I briskly walked to Imogen, who trotted over to me.
"Clare Edwards, we have a vendetta to attend to" Imogen challenged as she swooped a circle around me before running down a alley. Not knowing what she was going to do, I chased her all the way to the end where there was nothing left to move around, except a wall. I called her name several times, and even asked her to slow down but she vanished when I cut around a corner. The alley had become into a bit of a less developed area. I tried to think like Imogen, but I was at a loss. I circled around atleast five times trying to figure out where she was. Left? No. Right? No? Up...? I dared to peek upwards to see her bracelet hanging onto the fire escape, aswell as a small post it. Figuring this was a game, and that I was for sure safe, I climbed up the slippery ladder and stayed on my knees when I reached the very creaky, old fire escape that lead to the inside of a apartment building.
I unhooked her bracelet that was dangerously hanging over the edge and read the post it note. All it said was "UP" signed Imogen Moreno. There wasn't another ladder to go up, so I just stood there for a moment. I couldn't decide if going into the apartment complex would cause problems seeing as there couldn't have been that class worthy type people in there. I peered into the inside from the drenched fire escape. My pant's were soaked beyond belief, and the thunder made it's loud rumble through the sky. Kind of ticked me off that whoever was planning my fate wanted me to go into this dingy hallway inevitably or fear being struck by lightening.
Precisely I tip-toed inside. I could hear t.v.'s going off and one door sounded like people humping their brains out. I wish I wasn't listening so attentively. I decided to walk a bit faster, to fade out the sounds of white trash civilization. I figured the staircase was what Imogen meant by 'UP', so I climbed until another note was found saying 'RUN'. I rolled my eyes at the note, run? No way in hell would I be running up this damn staircase. I just trodded along the stairs, getting a bit tired. I realized what she had meant by 'run' when one of the staircase doors opened and a group of gangsters, yes and I am dead serious that I just labled someone before getting to know them, thudded down the stairs. The races were all different, latino, black, white. They all scared me as they stared deviliously at me, as if I were up for grabs. There must not be many women in their line of life, which could explain why they brushed eagerly on me as I stayed on the stairwell.
"This is a very dangerous place, pretty girl" I kept my mouth shut as the man passed by me and I sunk into the corner. There was only eight or so more guys coming down, so I took my chances and ran like a bat out of hell. I just assumed they would believe I was lost and from a wealthy family so if they decided to gang rape me, they would go to jail or something. I could only hope. I ran all the way up , partially afraid and partially because I needed my comfort-Imogen. I was also eager to kick her in the shin for freaking me out. I found the next ladder with a note that read 'ALMOST'. I treaded up to it, shoving the attic like door up on the old building to behold the roof, and the mass amounts of rain.
"What gives...Imogen" I mumbled under my breath as I crawled away from the attic door. The roof was all gravel on the top, and gratefully a wall was built around it. A strange feeling arose inside of me as I realized I was alone, in the rain and really scared. I waited several minutes, not knowing what to do before I searched the premises. Tired, feeling used, and angry I kicked the air conditioning vent. I looked some more, the fear of getting struck by lightening faded as I just wanted to get home. But then I really wanted to find Imogen. What if everything was getting set up? And her plan wasn't playing out? She couldn't be right all the time.
I decided to retreat and go home. I was confused by which attic-like-hatch-door to lift, so I pulled the first one I saw. It flipped open and Imogen popped out. I shot backwards and screamed like a little girl. I really thought I was going to get gunned down.
"Wasn't that fun?" Imogen called out as she jumped out and let the large door fall to the floor. She walked over to me.
"No, that wasn't fun! There were strange men-" I fubbed out and walked backwards.
"And I did tell you to run, if you followed my strict sticky notes you wouldn't have never seen them, Clare Edwards"
"I could have been killed, raped, brought into gang life!" I stammered on. Imogen remained calm, as if she were a fictional superhero purposely putting her heroine into distress to fight the utter madness.
"...And you weren't. Trust Clare, that's what you need. Do you really think anything bad would happen? I was aware of everything, your safe" Imogen said as she hugged me. I was not in the hugging mood.
"Everything will be worth it" Imogen said as she opened the correct door that had lead to the bottem without much trekking and fear of life-or death. Imogen rambled on about my scared face, but I wasn't that keen on talking to her to much.
"You deserve a reward" Imogen said in her planned purr.
"I think I've earned a nap" I replied back as we walked down the street, literally a few blocks from my house.
"We'll see" Imogen said as she coiled her arm around mine. I was tense, which was unneccesary. Lightening flashed in the distance.
"I'll be back precisely at a hour before midnight promise" Imogen said before leaving me at my door step. As much as my fondness of her was ceased at this moment, I didn't like her running around in bad weather.
The clock read one in the afternoon. Which meant I had eleven hours to get ready for my school week. I slightly doubted Imogen would dare knock on my door, or even show up, on a school night, ecspecially Sunday when my mom was for sure to be home. So I made preperations-unlocking my window, leaving the spare key under the mat, and of course keeping my cell phone on loud, just incase.
In two hours my homework was completed. After that I watched t.v. and ate my lunch until almost four. Mom came home, so I decided to take a shower just to be away from her. The shower, curling my hair, and plucking my eyebrows lasted until five. I surfed the internet in my pajamas, until I was abruptly stopped by my mom.
"Jake would like to talk to you, sweetheart" I stood up, believing the telephone is what she had meant however Jake walked in. He looked different, maybe he was sleep deprived or it could have been the weather. I heard at one point that weather affects almost every bit of personality and mood. Usually my mom left the door opened wider then before, but this time she left it closed tighter. I could have raunchy sex with Jake, and mom would probably be relieved to say I wouldn't be making out with Imogen.
"Hey" Jake said as he awkwardly waved before sitting on the bean bag chair that my sister Darcy of course could never seem to part with. I thought he'd say something about our parents, or his trip, or something. No, that was not it. Silence. He just looked around before inhaling and exhaling loudly.
"Imogen, really? I got dumped for a girl that you flat out despised" Jake said. His voice said he was frusterated as well as annoyed. At first I waited for him to break down, that's what my fights with Eli were all about-feelings, emotions, losing one another...love. With Jake I could feel he was angered by the fact he was dumped and he may have liked me.
"I'm sorry, what do you want me to say?" I asked quietly. I turned to face him while I folded my legs. The pillows still carried Imogens essence, so I grabbed one as if she were near to me. Weird, yes but very comforting.
"That your joking" Jake stated as he stared deeply at me. It was rather intimidating, actually.
"I don't hear laughter" I said bluntly.
"First you date one crazy before me, then you date a sociopathic, brainless lesbian. Sounds like a comedy" That comment rubbed me the wrong way. It showed how sheltered Jake really was, which bothered me that I had dated him.
"Before you say anything else, you dated me in between. Face it Clare we're pratically equals" The sound of my own voice interrupted my snappy comeback 'We're really different, aren't we' I remembered that day. It was a rocky part in my relationship with Eli.
"Are you saying that we'll get married, have kids and never get divorced?" I just had to ask because Eli said a rather mature answer that we're not my parents. He never was bothered by my desire to not have uncommited relationships.
"What? This is highschool, Clare. Where'd that come from?" Jake said with a flash of anger. I could tell that he was still stinging over his mom's death and his father's unfaithfulness prior. Before the divorce, I never experianced a 'bad marriage' and was fortunate enough to not go through a long divorce and with Eli, his parents were the type that people envied, still inlove after having a kid and multiple bumps in the road.
"It came from when I was with Eli, he never doubted the fact that we could be together longer than highschool..." I said softly, hoping he would be alright.
"Eli? Your with Imogen. Imogen's not long term!" Jake said raising himself out of the beanbag. Now he hovered over me
"Because she's a girl? Your just as homophobic as my mother!" I snapped. Okay, a few years ago I would have never thought I'd be in this situation, but I'm older and realize that I may not be inlove with Imogen, but I do love and cherish her friendship.
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but your with Imogen to get Eli back" Jake said bluntly. Shit.
"If I wanted Eli back, I would keep stringing you along" I said back, not to sure how that comment came to me. I was a bit proud of that, actually.
"Wow" Jake said as he moved to the door. He just looked at the ground. I'm sure he was looking for something to say back.
"Atleast I don't fake relationships" He said as he left. I heard my mother call his name, but he was long gone. The door slammed causing the house to shake. What a dick, what did he really expect? Gushy makeout session, admitting true feelings, or break up sex? That boy was too narrow minded, or was I the narrow minded one? I am faking a relationship to try and win my ex back who we all know that we're still inlove.
Jake's statement hung in my head. I was the biggest faker alive! I lied to myself when Eli needed help, I just denied it. I'm lieing about my current relationship. I fake my feelings everywhere I go.
But what if...This is how it's supposed to be. Pretending until I was able to move on with reality. This could just a be learning experiance, this pit stop in my life away from Eli. Gah, right now I would love nothing more than to atleast talk to him. Or atleast stalk his Facerange. Immediately I logged onto Facerange. There wasn't many people on, but a few. I scrolled around on the list to see that Eli was online, but hadn't 'moved' around on the site for a bit.
I debated on what to say. He was probably just eating dinner, or sleeping. The noise from the Facerange message alert would for sure to wake him up. Lost in my thoughts, I realized I had stepped on the keyboards with my arm and sent a message to Eli.
Clare Edwards: aioli;p0oip shfsdfjl
Eli Goldsworthy: Wrong person?
Clare Edwards: No, actually.
Eli Goldsworthy: Oh? Are you alright? Parents?...Realizing that a relationship with Imogen isn't all that it's cut out to be?
Clare Edwards: Very funny, Imogen's cool. Are you suprised?
Eli Goldsworthy: Intrigued and I'll admit that I was suprised, except I know she's just telling you to do this.
Clare Edwards: Gah everyone's saying that today! We fit really well.
Despite the fact she scared the crap out of me today, she was 'Eli' and Eli and I fit well. As friends, Imogen and I fit well. It is all pretending after all.
Eli Goldsworthy: If you say so. Did she make you roleplay?
Clare Edwards: Not really...Kind of. But she wasn't you, neccessarily.
Clare Edwards: I can explain it actually. I kissed her because she told me to think of love, which is what I had when I was with you. Then she kissed me and we realized that we had something there, which started 'I-Clare'.
I did hope that would make him jealous. I waited and waited for atleast two minutes which was short, but I was ecspecially impatient. I hoped I didn't spill to much, or what if I did and he's on to us. Crap, why'd I even talk to him?
Eli Goldsworthy: Huh. That's interesting- wish your writing skills could expand on the details but I'll live. Anyways I have to go and type up a science paper. Nice talking to you.
He wasn't even taking science. Oh where oh where are my sister's Seventeen magazines. My mind scrambled as I tried to figure out what he was thinking. Upset, dismay, happy that I was happy, or uninterested. Maybe this Imogen idea wasn't a good idea. I should break it off, and start fresh.
It was rising to be nine, so I decided to just get some snooze time. I was tired, unhappy and stressed. Eli wasn't coming to me any faster then he had before, if anything he was displeased by my relationship with Imogen. He knew everything, and now I need to find a way to explain it. I laid there in the dark house with my mind scrawling everywhere. Slowly but surely, I fell fast asleep.
AN:/Sorry I just figured I'd post this to keep everyone happy haha. It'll get better...Or worse :O I dunnoo. Lots to observe, hope it didn't bore anyone to much!