Dark themes, .
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. *Head sinks in shame.*
Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now, she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's gonna end.
As your lives crumble down, a new life she has found.
Face Down – Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
CHAPTER ONE.
BPOV.
My ear touched the door as I listened to the conversation that was ongoing outside of the room that was, ultimately, my home.
Nothing but this room...
"Caius- do whatever you have to do. She's a dog- a bitch, like I care."
"If you really do insist sir..."
"Shut up and do whatever the fuck you're planning on doing."
I moved away from the door and groaned inwardly. It seemed such a little thing to do considering I knew what was about to be forced on me but there days it seemed like a normal occurrence. Something normal that just happened to happen to me on a daily basis. Always Caius' job however, to force himself upon me.
Ar- my master was here to own me- I was his pet after all. His very own bitch and dog.
Marcus was here to beat me- to inflict the bruises and cuts onto my skin and scar me for life. Even if I did ever escape this world of pain a torture, something I'm sure wouldn't be happening without anything short of a miracle, I would be scared. I would never forget the days of abuse because Marcus had left his mark.
At least, from what I've heard, there's a world outside of the pain...
Caius was here to rape me. It was just a normal occurrence for me. I've never had much to say on the subject. For as much as I know, this could be the way everyone lived.
My presuming gets me nowhere though. I could have the best life in whatever world I lived in right now- I wouldn't know. I could be the best kept person... dog alive. As I said, I wouldn't know.
I've never been out of this room.
Ever.
I was born here.
Apparently.
Seventeen years ago.
The dark, dingy room was full of the usually joyful cry of a newborn baby facing its first happy seconds on the new planet. Looking forward to all the things a baby should- being spoilt rotten, Christmas, birthdays, meeting friends. Even looking forward to the hells that life brings- school and pain and heartbreak. They were all part of life though and all things to look forward to.
These cries just didn't have that excitement laced upon them.
"Please! NO! DON'T KILL MY BABY GIRL!" A woman's cries flew around the room at a tall man pulled the baby from the arms of its mother. "Please! Don't do it! Take me instead! Anything!" Tears streamed from her eyes as she attempted to pull herself up.
"ANYTHING!" She sobbed and she was pulled back down to the ground again by a pair of hands that were so pale, they could have been opaque.
The man with the baby turned round stroking the baby's head so innocently that it was creepy, disturbed, and wrong.
"Hush little baby girl." He whispered before clearing his throat and looking at the distraught woman who lay before him. "It's okay Renee. She'll be safe with me now. What did you want to call her?"
"Isabella... Bella. Give my Bella to me!" She cried and screamed as loud as she could in hopes that maybe someone could hear her. It was a lost cause, even she knew that, but there was no point in giving up. Her daughter was right there. She would be subjected to the pain that she'd faced over the last month of being tied up in the horrible room.
She hadn't seen the day since then.
"MARCUS." The old man who held the baby boomed, "Get us a collar and a tag- I believe Bella shall be its name."
"Please! Aro! Just let me have my baby back! Please!" She drifted off a little towards the end- she'd just given birth. She didn't have the energy.
"How dare you call me by my name you dirty, unworthy, disgusting bitch!" He yelled at the woman and pulled an instrument of sorts out of his pocket. There was a large bang through the room followed by the cries of the little baby he held in his arms.
"Caius, bury that piece of dirt in the garden. Next to the father. What they hell they were thinking bringing a bit of shit into the world-" he held the crying bloodied baby in front of him by the hand and grimaced, "I have no idea." He took his hand and hit the baby around the head, only to increase the crying that came from it.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP."
x x x x
I'd never been told anything about my parents, anything beyond insults and names was instant punishment with maybe the insults and names forced right back onto me. I asked, of course I did, it was never successful though. I always found myself in darkness within seconds of asking- always beaten to a point where I forgot what I'd even asked to deserve such a punishment.
A familiar position- everything around me was familiar these days. There was nothing new or exciting to look forward to. My life was just subject to the fear and pain that I was inflicted from the three men of the household.
Was it a house?
Perhaps something bigger...
A mansion?
Maybe this room was the only thing and they came in from the outside.
I wouldn't be surprised, I'd never seen the outside. The light from there was blinding after days upon days of living in nothing but the dark that I had to hide my eyes from the light that seeped in upon visits from my owners.
My owners... They controlled me. They made sure I never knew anything but this dark room. They had a woman come in when I was younger- A Heidi. She'd taught me the basics of English, just enough to be able to communicate. Or that's what she told my owner's anyway.
She saw the state I'd be forced into and, surprisingly, felt bad for me. She was the connection between me and the real world. She taught me enough English so that, if I ever were to escape from here that I would be able to set some simple qualifications and maybe even a job. She'd sneaked me in books and clothes, scraps of food she could get hold of... everything that made my days just that little bit easier to handle.
The day she planned on helping me escape though... she never turned up. I hadn't seen anyone else in my life apart from Aro, Marcus and Caius since that day. I was sure that, now and then, I could hear an unfamiliar voice from outside the room. I'd never see anyone though, I often hoped I would. That there would be people out there who would help me like Heidi had.
I doubted it though. Perhaps Heidi had just been bought up in an alternate kind of universe and the rest of us lived in a world full of masters and pain. No hope for any of the dogs.
The door cracked open and I backed into the corner with my hands over my eyes as I suddenly felt the familiar emotion of fear flood through my body, confirming what Caius' plans were for the afternoon.. I couldn't help but react as the tall, lanky blonde stepped into the room. His greasy long hair was scooped at the bottom of his neck in a ponytail and he walked towards me, shutting the door behind him.
It was such an ordinary movement... walking into a room.
So ordinary I wanted to run.
"No escaping for you." He chucked his head back and laughed, "Never." He added on the end. A usual line to fall off of his blood red lips- a line that haunted my days and my dreams... nightmares. I let out a small whimper as I hit the wall with my back- already covered in the bruises that had been inflicted upon me within the last week.
"Look at poor little Bella, oh doesn't she look so fragile and weak." He cooed and smiled menacingly. So sick and sadistic. "Come here Bella!" He tapped his knees as he bent down to my height, as if he were calling a dog over.
Well, he was wasn't he?
I had no choice in the matter- I resisted... I was beat up. I went towards him, I was forced upon. The second was easier. I succumbed to the coo's of the sadistic man in front of me and crawled towards him knowing that if I got to my feet both of the options would happen, one after another.
"Well, isn't that a good doggy!" He put his hand on my head and rubbed it hard as he ruffled up my already messy hair before pushing my head backwards. I landed with a loud thud on my back onto the cold, hard wooden flooring.
I held in my scream of pain as his hands moved from my head and down my body. Over every nonexistent curve and every existent cut and bruise that had been inflicted on me.
"Oh Bella, Bella, Bella. You're a mess." He tutted as he began to undress himself. I felt my breath speeding up at the thought of what was about to happen. I might have been used to it- but it never got any better. "Oh Bella," He smiled seductively, "Are you excited for me? You are aren't you?" His smile was full of amusement... and inevitable pain. "Don't worry- we'll be there soon enough."
He began to laugh sadistically at me. He tugged at my ripped up sweat pants and already destroyed button up shirt as he grabbed various places over my body. "Ready?" He lifted his eyebrows as he adjusted his positioning. "Of course you're ready." He muttered and laughed.
I closed my eyes and thought of anything, anything above what was happening to me.
x x x x
The pain that came afterwards was almost unbearable- the whimpers escaped my lips freely and the tears rolled out from my eyes without a second thought as the door behind me shut with a slam and an evil laugh.
You'd think, by now, I'd be used to the pain.
I was sore all over- the constant abuse I received only ached more after Caius' visits to my confinement. Every cut and every bruise, every broken bone or damaged limb throbbed around me with my pulse. Thump, thump, thump.
You'd think, by now, the raping wouldn't affect me.
I reached up and wiped the tears as I pulled my ruined clothes on and tucked myself in the corner in hopes that I'd been subjected to all I had needed to be for the day. Today's experience had only haunted me more than necessary.
"Call my name as loud as you can you dirty hoe."
His shout ran through my head like a broken cassette. A noise so terrible I don't think I could ever escape it. It went round over, and over, and over. Round, and round, and round. Just another haunted memory, a haunted sound. A memory I could only hope would be knocked out of me in my next beating- whenever that time would roll around.
I wouldn't doubt that'd be far away.
After years of the same treatment, I knew it was only safe to check any injuries. It was quiet in the room and, by the sounds of it, there were no people outside. An ample chance to check myself over and treat myself with... whatever scraps of fabric I could find around my room. No first aid kit...
The room was empty apart from the tattered mattress in the corner. The bowl and a small pile of clothes- something I'd come to treasure. The only normal thing in my life, no matter how messed up the clothes were. Tattered or torn, they were still clothes.
I sighed as I averted my gaze from the almost empty room and began to examine myself. A gash I'd managed to get on my arm last week had re opened and was beginning to bleed. Caius really needed to leave my arms alone. I reached over to a strip of material that had been ripped off one of my old tops and tied it round the top of my arm as I cleaned the wound up with another scrap of material.
There was nothing I could really do with it apart from keep pressure on it until I started bleeding, I hadn't seen a proper first aid kit since Heidi's days of 'teaching' me.
Eleven years ago
"Oh Bells, who gave you that?" Heidi's face was a mask of horror as she examined the knife gash along the small brunette's stomach. A single line that had been there for almost a day- but small amounts of blood kept oozing from the injury.
"Aro was mad. I didn't cry when Marcus hit me." The small girl hung her head in shame, like her resistance to pain was something to be ashamed of. Like she should be screaming bloody murder whenever someone touched her for that particular person's pleasure. Heidi huffed and pulled out the small first aid kit from her coat pocket.
"I wish I could help you more kiddo. I'd hate to know what'd happen If I tried to tell the police about this. They wouldn't believe me though, I'm sure of it." She drifted off.
"Why?"
"Aro's big in the world outside these walls." She said as she tended to a small Bella who was sprawled out of the floor as Heidi cleaned the gash with an anti septic wipe before putting a bandage around her waist. "He can get whatever he likes; everyone respects him and the other men. They're famous- the owners of the great Volturi estates all over the world."
Bella sighed, the real world, outside the four walls.
"Tell me about the world again?" She asked. It made everything much better and easier to bear as Heidi cleaned and wrapped the multiple injuries Bella had accumulated in the twenty four hours since she last saw Heidi.
"It's big." She laughed, "There's so much out there. Maybe you'll see one day. There's the sky, it's huge! In the day its bright blue with a big round ball in it called the sun. It's so bright and it makes everything so warm! Apart from when the sky's all grey and cloudy though, sometimes water falls from the sky. That's rain." She told Bella as she listened intently, interested about the strange goings on.
"What about when it's not day?"
"That's when the sky goes dark and lights up with little gems and diamonds; making the wonder we call stars. Oh, and the moon of course! This big round dish that shines, but in a subtle way. The opposite to the sun."
"I'd like to see the stars, they sound so pretty." Bella mused, flinching slightly as Heidi bandaged up a horrible, huge yellowing bruise on her arm in the shape of Marcus' fist. "That's the hit mark." Bella head hung down again.
"Oh Bella." Heidi leaned over and hugged her softly. "You're a tough girl. I'll keep coming every day until we find a way to get you out of here, yeah?" She smiled. Bella nodded with a smile, she very much liked that idea. Being able to leave the confines and see the sky, the sun, the moon and the stars. She presumed people took these for granted but, she was sure, they'd be the greatest thing the world could offer.
"I'd like that." She confirmed.
"I knew you would."
x x x x
I missed Heidi being around. I had someone to talk to properly, have a real conversation with... someone to discuss the real world with.
Most of all, someone who cared.
Heidi taught me everything I needed to know.
If I could never talk again, I wouldn't care. If I could never leave this room for my whole life, I wouldn't care if I just had someone who cared for me. Heidi had told me it was love.
I mused the word often... love. An emotion, a strong one at that. A foreign emotion, one I doubt I'd ever feel it properly. It'd be lovely to feel, just for a second in my life. Just to feel something new besides the exhaustion and pain of daily life.
"Love is like... your life being full at last. That someone else to fill you . It's not until you feel it that you realise that you've been living life as a glass half empty... or only half fell, whatever way you want to put it. When love hits you though you're suddenly so full, you could burst. You don't, but you could. There's nothing in the world that can compare to it... at all."
Heidi had told me that once. She said she'd found someone that made her feel like that. Demetri she said his name was. She'd met him once or twice, but they were already feeling things beyond a 'normal friendship' she'd called it. I'd laugh when she said that.
I didn't even know what a normal friendship was like. The carefree but quiet laughter never the less was always full of wonder around Heidi when she spoke. I wonder if that's the only laughter that escapes lips... is there any other type?
I'd like to be able to laugh... one day.
What makes you laugh? I know sexual innuendo's make me giggle...
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