Kyouya slipped silently back into the classroom and into his seat. He looked down at his desk, the bathroom events finally taking the time to sink in. Kyouya wasn't used to showing that kind of sympathy. The Shadow King was supposed to be menacing, not understanding... So why had he been?

There had just been something about Kaoru, the way he had looked so vulnerable, just sitting there as he cried for that which he could never have. It had set off something inside Kyouya, compelled him to help the younger boy because in fact, it appeared they weren't too different at all. They were both hiding struggles that clawed at their hearts each and every day. They hid them from everyone around them in an attempt to keep up appearances. But there was more to Kaoru's story, and Kyouya had full intention of finding out what it was.

"Kyouya!" Tamaki's sing-song voice pulled Kyouya from his internal inquiries. "Where did you disappear off to? It's not very nice to ditch people like that you know."

Tamaki had only been joking, but upon seeing his friend's seriousness, a much different kind then he would normally see on Kyouya, he immediately softened.

"Kyouya? Are you alright? You seems bit troubled."

Kyouya glanced at the blond.

"Hmm? Oh, no. I think I'm alright. I just ran into Kaoru is all."

"Ah, one of the devilish twins," Tamaki joked with a glint in his eyes.

"Well, I wouldn't call Kaoru the devilish kind. He's got quite a bit more depth than his brother. It's actually rather intriguing."

"Intriguing? A Hitachiin? There's not much to know about them is there? Or, they don't really choose to reveal much, and that's fine, right? We get along." Tamaki said, rather dimissively.

Kyouya bristled at the comment and lashed back quickly.

"Tamaki, doesn't it bother you that you've known those two for about 3 years, and they're supposed to be close friends of yours, yet, you know next to nothing about them personally?"

Tamaki started at Kyouya's suddenly harsh tone. This wasn't like Kyouya, not in the slightest. He'd never seen his friend act so protective and defensive of anyone or anything, other than his reputation that is.

Kyouya held eye contact with Tamaki, daring him to challenge what he'd said.

"Well?"

"Um, I suppose you're right." Tamaki studied his friend carefully, still confused as to where this attitude had spawned from.

Kyouya turned away from Tamaki's scrutinizing eyes and tried to at least look as though he was paying attention to the lesson, but Tamaki's stare was relentless.

After a moment, Tamaki spoke again, this time in a softer, more understanding voice.

"Kyouya, that was quite unlike you. I've never seen you act like that before about anyone. What's going on?"

Kyouya continued to stare forward, his head resting on one hand. He didn't know. He didn't know what was going on.

But whatever it was, he couldn't let it dominate him, not when there were so many other things he needed to focus on, like the Host Club, and his father. Then there was the matter of his brothers...

"Tamaki, I can quite honestly say, I haven't the slightest idea."

Kaoru walked back into class and took his seat next to Haruhi. She turned to him and whispered quietly,"Are you feeling better?"

Kaoru looked off thoughtfully for a moment then returned Haruhi's gaze.

"Yeah, I think I am." he smiled lightly at her and she returned the gesture, before turning back to her work.

Kaoru would've been working as well, but, he had too much to think about. He almost didn't believe what had just happened was real. Kyouya wasn't the type to be so openly caring and wise, that was usually Tamaki's role. And yet, there he'd been, sitting on the floor next to Kaoru, comforting him. It was... Weird, but a good kind of weird. Kaoru hadn't minded at all.

But it was still really out of character for him, for both of them actually.

Kaoru always played his part of the cheeky, mischevious twin, a role that hadn't ever failed him, until his feelings for Hikaru had grown. And his growing feelings had coincided with Hikaru's growing feelings for Haruhi. It was a Teufelskreis, as the Germans say, a devil's cross, a vicious cycle. Neither of them would ever get what they want.

A paper ball to the face shook Kaoru out of his thoughts. He unfolded it and found a note from Hikaru:

'Hey, you took a pretty long time in there, what's up?"

Kaoru rolled his eyes. 'Now he decides to care.'

He scrawled back a quick response, not really wanting to entertain his brother's antics.

'Just needed some air.' He paused before continuing, unsure whether he should mention what had happened with Kyouya. His pen hovered momentarily over the paper. Hikaru had said he could tell him anything hadn't he?'Talked with Kyoya for a bit.'

He tossed the note back effortlessly. Moments later, it landed on his desk again.

'Kyouya? Why were you talking to him? Was he trying to manipulate you or something? You know how he is.'

Kaoru fumed. He couldn't talk Kyouya, but Hikaru was free to flirt with Haruhi as he pleased. Right. Because that made a lot of sense.

'Why do you even care? We were just talking. It wasnt about business deals or anything like that, just life. Not that mine matters to you though.'

That one had been a little harsh, but Kaoru was feeling harsh. Hikaru wasn't being fair. Now all Kaoru wanted to do was wake him up. Open his eyes a little bit. Maybe then he'd get the message.

Kaoru could feel the hurt stare of his brother as he opened the note.

At that moment, the bell rang, signifying the class change. Kaoru tried to leave and avoid his brother, but Hikaru stood right in front of him, and waited for the teacher and the rest of the class to leave.

They stood in silence for a moment, Kaoru refusing to meet his brother's searching gaze.

"Kaoru," Hikaru took a slightly hesitant step forward and as much as he willed himself not to, Kaoru found himself looking into his brother's eyes.

"Kaoru you can't really mean that. You think your life doesn't matter to me?" Hikaru took another step forward and snaked an arm around Kaoru's waist, pulling him closer.

Kaoru sucked in a quiet breath. It was happening again.

Hikaru ran a finger down Kaoru's face. "Thats insane and you know it."

Kaoru couldn't find his voice. He never could when Hikaru was acting like this.

The older twin pushed the younger softly against the wall, meshing their bodies together. Hikaru took Kaoru's chin in his hand, and pulled his face close, until they were just milimeters apart. He looked into his eyes and whispered, his breath caressing Kaoru's lips.

"You know I love you more than anything."

Hikaru pushed one of his legs between Kaoru's, causing Kaoru to whimper; it was the first sound he'd made during the entire -?

"H-Hikaru.." Kaoru breathed.

Hikaru smiled and leaned backward as though he were going to break the embrace, but instead, leaned forward, closing the final space between them again with a soft kiss.

It was over as quickly as it had started. Hikaru pulled back and away from his brother.

"Please don't forget that, Kaoru."

He walked out of the classroom, leaving Kaoru alone. Again.

Kaoru put a finger to the spot where his brother's lips had been. It had been so sudden, so unexpected. Nothing like how he'd imagined it.

Kaoru had never been so confused in his life. Hikaru had never pushed his actions that far. But for some reason, he had this time. What had been different?

He thought back to their earlier conversation. He hadn't really said much, just that he'd talked with-

Kyouya.

Kaoru blanched.

Was that what had set Hikaru off? The fact that he'd been with Kyouya?

'So that's it. He only acted like he wanted me because he was worried that someone else might have me. Figures.'

Kaoru felt himself tearing up again. He'd been doing that a lot lately.

He felt betrayed and lead on. It seemed like his life had become some kind of idiotic soap opera, where he was the pathetic lover, who'd just found out the ulterior motive of the relationship they were in. It was painful, to say the least.

Realizing he was about to be late, Kaoru dashed out the door and to his next class, his mind full of questions, maybe ones that would never be answered.

He was just about to mentally curse himself for his stupidity when Kyouya's voice popped into his head.

'Don't be too hard on yourself, okay?'

Kaoru sighed, remembering his promise, and walked silently to his next class, paying no attention to the fan girls who followed him incessantly. He had more important matters to focus on.

'Why Hikaru? Why?'

The rest of the school day passed rather uneventfully for Kyouya, and before he knew it, it was time to head over to Host Club.

He gathered all his things in complete silence, and walked absently through the halls. Before he even realized it, he had reached the ever famous (or infamous, depending on how you looked at it) Music Room Number 3.

Much to his surprise, Kyouya wasn't the first one there. Over in the far side of the room was a very distressed looking Kaoru staring out a large window.

"You're awfully early today Kaoru." Kyouya said with a hint of a smile playing over his lips.

Kaoru jumped slightly, as he had not heard Kyouya come into the room.

"Oh, Kyouya-senpai. You scared me." Kaoru said, his voice so soft that the words were almost inaudible.

Kyouya's face immediately became serious.

"Host Club doesn't start for another hour, what are you doing here?"

Kaoru glanced sheepishly at the ground.

"Well, I really needed some space to think, so I ditched last period and came here for awhile. It was the only place I could think of. The bathroom floor was alright, but I'd prefer to stay here, I think."

At this, Kyouya chuckled, recognizing the absurditiy of the situation they'd previously been in.

"Well, something's obviously on your mind, would you like to talk, or would you prefer to be left alone?"

Kaoru looked up at the older boy, still not used to this kinder, compassionate side of him, then glanced back out the window.

"I'm not sure my story's worth telling, Kyouya."

Kyouya took the seat across from Kaoru, resting his chin on one hand, and looked firmly into the younger boy's topaz eyes.

"I'm sure anything you have to say is worth listening to Kaoru."

Kaoru looked into Kyouya's eyes, searching for some sign of insincerity, but found none. He was telling the truth, he really did want to hear what Kaoru had to say. But why?

Kaoru let out a breath, not even realizing that he'd been holding it in the first place, as he prepares himself to tell Kyouya what he'd never told anyone before.

"It's a bit of a long story."

Kyouya leaned forward, and smiled at the auburn haired boy.

"We've got time, almost an hour. Go ahead and share."

Kaoru gave a small smile, "Alright. Let me know if I begin to bore you, or freak you out."

"You know, I don't even think that's possible Kaoru. With all the pranks you've pulled, I'd have to say you're one of least boring people I know. And I highly doubt you'll freak me out."

"Well thanks, but I guess I'm still not good enough, at least not in his eyes..."

Kyouya stared at Kaoru quizically.

"In whose eyes?"

Kaoru gazed distantly out the window again.

"In Hikaru's. He.. He doesn't seem to want me anymore. The only person he wants is Haruhi. I can't even express to you how much I regret forcing him to own up to his feelings with her, because in the long run, all it did was hurt me. He doesn't even know how much I care about him anymore, he-he doesn't even know."

Kaoru felt hot tears burning behind his eyes and looked down at the table in an attempt to hide them.

When he spoke again, he found his voice wavering, not strong the way it normally was.

"Its obvious he wants her, but At times he'll pretend that he loves me, in an, um, slightly different way, coming on to me, holding me, caressing me. Like today after class—"

Kaoru stopped talking abruptly, his face flushing immensley as he realized what he'd been about to reveal.

Kyouya looked concernedly down at Kaoru.

"Today after class...?" he prompted.

Kaoru turned an even darker shade of red and avoided eye contact at all costs.

"He kissed me. " He said in a quiet, scared voice. "I'd just told him about our little encounter, you see, and it made me wonder if he was only reacting to the fact that I'd opened up to someone other than him. I don't know. It was, kind of stupid. I was just trying to leave without talking to him, because I wasn't in the mood. Anyway, before I even knew what had happened, he had me up against the wall, I couldn't even move, but it's almost like I didn't want to. I don't know if it's what I wanted or not. Hikaru was kind of... rough."

Kyouya's eyebrows shot up. That had caught him by surprise. He knew Hikaru and Kaoru had homosexual tendencies, but toward eachother? He hadn't quite been prepared for that. Kyouya had always expected that the Hitachiin's "forbidden love" game was nothing more than that. A game. A show they put on for the adoring fans of the Host Club. Then again, this was one sided. Only Kaoru had any feelings toward his brother. The feeling wasn't mutual.

Something twinged inside Kyouya. A slight anger of sorts. How could Hikaru just sit there and watch his brother deteriorate this way, especially when it was because of him?

"But then, he spent the rest of the day flirting with Haruhi, like nothing had ever happened. What the hell is he trying to say to me?" Kaoru's voice broke on the last word. He couldn't believe he'd just told Kyouya all of that; Kyouya, the most unforgiving, cool-mannered, blackmail-y person he knew. Yet strangely enough, a part of him said it was okay, that Kyouya could be trusted. That part of him wanted to stand up to his brother, to tell him to stop jerking around with his emotions. But it was a small part of him. Not large enough to act on his wishes.

Kyouya looked down, and discovered that Kaoru was crying. It broke his heart to see the younger boy in this state, and once again, the kinder side of him took over. Kyouya got out of his seat and knelt down next to Kaoru, taking his face in both hands. He wiped the younger boy's tears and gazed into his eyes.

"Kaoru, listen to me. You've done nothing wrong. It's your brother who's at fault here, leading you on that way. He's only trying to hold you back from having your own experiences, trying to overpower you! Please Kaoru, you've got to see that."

Kyouya looked desperately into Kaoru's eyes, hoping that his words were getting through. Kaoru looked back at him, and slowly shook his head.

"That's not possible Kyouya. I'm always the one at fault. Hikaru? Hikaru is perfect. Just ask any of our teachers or our parents. Hikaru is always just a little better than me in every way possible. That's why I can't believe you Kyouya, there just isn't any way you could be right. It just isn't logical."

Kyouya couldn't bear to listen to him for another second. He couldn't believe that Kaoru's vision was so skewed, that he really thought of himself that way. It was wrong. Kaoru didn't feel loved and Kyouya could understand that, seeing as how his own brothers treated him as nothing more than a casual fuck, it took quite a toll on his self esteem for sure But Kyouya didn't want to sit there and watch Kaoru fall to pieces.

He wasn't sure why he did what he did next; he supposed his instincts took over, or maybe, it wasn't his subconscious but his own conscious mind that told him to do it.

In one swift motion, Kyouya pulled Kaoru's face down to his and captured his lips in a sweet kiss.

Kaoru's eyes widened in surprise, but he didn't pull away. Kyouya's lips were soft and inviting, and after a short moment Kaoru leaned in, into the warmth and comfort, deeper into Kyouya.

Much to the surprise of both boys, it was Kyouya who was the first to pull away. He looked into Kaoru's eyes, almost lovingly.

"You are not worthless, Kaoru." he said quietly. He drew his hands back, stood up and made to walk out of the room when Kaoru stood up suddenly and grabbed his hand.

"Kyouya," he started.

The dark haired boy pushed up his glasses and looked back expectantly.

"I know you probably only did all that out of pity, but thank you. For listening and.. just for everything."

Kyouya looked sadly at Kaoru. He didn't think he'd gotten through at all.

"Kaoru, I can assure you I didn't do it out of pity. Trust me, that's the last emotion I feel."

Kaoru blushed and peeked back up at Kyouya from under his bangs.

At that moment Hikaru came strolling in, shockingly, without Haruhi.

He glanced around the room, his eyes resting on Kyouya and Kaoru.

"Oh, not interupting anything am I?" he said somewhat coldly.

Kyouya realized that Kaoru still had a hold of his hand and gently let it go.

He responded to Hikaru with an even tone, having regained his typical "Shadow King" composure.

"We were just talking, not that it's any business of yours. So, where is Haruhi? I would've thought she'd have been with you, Hikaru."

Hikaru smiled, oblivious to the blatant sarcasm in Kyouya's voice., or perhaps he was... amused by it?

"Well, we have been getting a lot closer, that's true," he walked over to Kaoru and slung an arm around his shoulder.

"But she'll never replace my little brother." As he said this, he looked pointedly at Kyouya, almost as if he were warning him, but the smile never once left his face.

Kaoru said nothing, but glanced at his brother from the corner of his eye.

Hikaru grinned back at Kaoru and winked seductively, as though to imply there was something intimate between them though they both knew nothing had actually happened.

Kaoru had just opened his mouth to speak when Hikaru suddenly began walking away, dragging him along.

"Hey Kao-chan," Hikaru said, drawing out each syllable of the nickname unnecessarily. "We need to talk later, there's something I've been meaning to talk with you about. I would've told you earlier, but since you skipped last period..." he left the sentence hanging, once again making Kaoru the one at fault.

"Or, you know, we could just talk now. Come on."

Kaoru glanced back at Kyouya one last time before his brother pulled him out of the room.

Kyouya stared after the twins for a minute before he sighed and sat down. He rubbed his temples, still not fully grasping what had just happened. Had he just... kissed Kaoru?

He shook his head to clear it and wondered aloud.

"What am I getting myself into?"