Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, Dobby would have married Winky and they would have had cute little elf children named Wonky and Dinky.

"Malfoy," I asked, looking up from my spot curled up in an armchair. "Could you pass me my Transfiguration textbook? I need to study."

He was lounging on the futon in our joint common room, and my textbook was underneath the coffee table in front of him. Malfoy stretched lazily and, Merlin, I'd bet you anything that he was probably smirking his pointy little face off.

"I could pass it," he admitted. "But I don't really want to."

Git, I thought, then walked over to where he was sitting and stepped between his legs to get it. Bending down, I reached for my textbook- but as is my luck, it wasn't my textbook. It was Scorpius's charms one. I glanced over at Scorpius, only to see him looking right back at me.

Or rather…right back at my yoga pant-clad bum.

I turned back around and pretended to be inspecting the Charms textbook. "Scorpius," I said.

"Hmmm?"

"You wouldn't, by any chance, be ogling my bum, would you?"

I turned around and saw his eyes snap up to meet mine, a faint pink blush gracing his high cheekbones. "No," he denied quickly. "Of course not."

I shook my head. "Riiiight," I told him, drawing it out. "You know, I remember you telling off Preston Kingston for doing the same thing, you hypocrite-

"But Rose, he's a slimy little git!" he cried out. "You said so yourself."

I did say that, but I was having too much fun torturing Scorpius to admit that. "Yes, but-

"Whoa," said Al as he walked in through the portrait door. "Well, this is steamier than a Celestina Warbeck song, but I can't say that I'm surprised."

I glared at the prat Potter who had just walked in through the door. Why had we even given him the bloody password?

Then, I reassessed the situation at hand.

So there was me, crouched between Scorpius's legs which were spread out on the coffee table, in the midst of a heated argument with Scorpius, who was blushing.

Scorpius Malfoy, blushing. It's one of those once-in-a-life-time kind of things.

"No," Scorpius and I said at the same time.

"We weren't doing anything-

"She wanted to get something-

"His legs were in the way-

"I was not ogling her bum-

I smacked my forehead. Yeah, that was exactly what Al needed to hear to be convinced that Scorpius and I weren't doing anything "steamy".

"Er, right," Al said, trying to keep a straight face and failing considerably. "Anyways, Rose, I realized I forgot to return your Transfiguration textbook to you last night." He held out the worn, dog-eared book.

Well, bugger.