Disclaimer: Characters and setting are property of Square Enix
Rating: NC-17
Paring: Sephiroth/Genesis
Warnings: Language, Violence
Summery: After being defeated twice, Sephiroth finally understands what he really wants, however the only way to get it is to go back to a time before he made his mistakes. Time travel fic. Rated for yaoi, graphic sex and violence in later chaps. Sephiroth/Genesis
AN: The numbers of employees of the Shin-Ra tower is loosely based on the number of employees for the Empire State Building minus a couple thousand.
AN2: Many thanks to the awesome reviewers who I answer personally, I love you guys. And thank you to the readers who follow this story, and those who have favored and/or alerted.
Betaed by Nephilim Rising and Chance969. You both are amazing. (Side note: a portion of the final scene for this chapter was not betaed, so all mistakes belong to me. Neph and Chance are wonderful)
&%$ CBV $%&
How one person could allow another person to have control over them is a baffling question; one that many never think about, yet fall victim to. Some people have a tendency to let others influence their moods, their behaviors, and even their thoughts. If a person gives away enough of themselves, they become little more than worthless puppets, discarding their own likes and dislikes, their own pleasures, simply to dance to the song of another. A persons self-worth can become totally dependent on the way others view them, and that person will strive, at all costs, even if it means becoming something they are not, or hiding who they are, for the sake of acceptance. It really is a pathetic state to exist in, proving the person to be weak and spineless; a gutless wretch who's value as anything more than a slave is meaningless.
Genesis was pondering this; his own sense of self-worth having been called into question. Did he think so little of himself as to allow one rejection, given in the middle of the night, after a walking nightmare, to alter his opinion of who he was? Was he one of those people who defined his integrity and dignity by what others thought of him? Occam's razor, in the most popular interpretation, states that usually the simplest explanation is the correct one. In his case the simplest explanation was he refused to allow another to define him.
Being raised to know he was better than everyone else and having been taught early on to take pride in himself and his accomplishments, Genesis had the ego of ten SOLDIER First Classes. Some would call it arrogance or haughtiness, and some like Angeal, would venture to claim it hubris. The redhead knew better. It was merely high self-esteem.
The fact that he wasn't getting missions was a blow to his pride, but he knew exactly why he was being held back, and the reason was too embarrassing to share, even with his best friend. But that wasn't what had him in the shower, hoping the water that was rinsing out the shampoo would also wash away the tears that were ready to fall.
Sephiroth had said no, had flat out denied him, and it stung.
Waking up in his superior's bed had been awkward, but also thrilling. There for the first few moments after coming out of the dream and realizing where he was, he was sure his heart was going to beat right out of his chest. His body was tingling as if he'd been touched, and logic dictated that Sephiroth indeed had touched him while he was asleep; not that he minded. But when he asked, rather shyly – stupid him, Seph doesn't like weakness, and being timid is a sign of weakness – if he could spend the night, the silver-haired beauty had refused.
Why did that hurt so much?
He believed Sephiroth liked him in the same way that he liked Seph. And when they almost kissed... Looking back, Genesis realized it wasn't like they were kissing, Sephiroth had just been using his superior strength to dominate him. That part didn't hurt as much as it pissed him off. No one, not even Shin-Ra's raising star and poster boy, would make a fool of him.
Decisive action; it was the auburn SOLDIER's motto, and right then, Genesis decided that his next action would be to completely ignore the boy he was in love with. If the Second could refuse him, two could play at that game. He was better than Sephiroth anyway, he just wasn't willing to compromise his morals to obtain...anything.
Feeling much better after reminding himself that no one influenced his views about himself, the teen turned off the shower, wrapped a towel around his hips and stepped out. He wasn't surprised to see Angeal in the bathroom, hogging the sink and mirror to shave, however, it did cramp the already small space.
"I thought you'd be in there longer," was Angeal's good-morning greeting to his friend. The dark haired man tightened his upper lip and removed the overnight growth that decided to make its home the patch of skin between Angeal's top lip and his nose.
"Good morning to you, too," Genesis replied, taking a seat on the commode so he could watch his friend for a little while. He had always been envious that Angeal had to shave. He himself had been cursed with having almost no hair on his body at all. Even the hair in his most private area's was light and wispy, he didn't even have a 'happy trail', so forget about hair growing on his face. However, to make up for his man-growth, the gods saw fit to give him a plethora of freckles across his chest, arms and back. The fates really were cruel.
"Where did you go last night?" Angeal ran the razor, a cheap, yellow tool made of plastic, down his cheek.
"I was sleep walking, and I ended up in Sephiroth's room," Genesis told him honestly.
Leaving the stubble on his chin alone, the broad SOLDIER rinsed his face, and splashed on aftershave, before turning his head towards his friend. "Gen, you don't have to lie to me. If you and Sephiroth have something going on, that's okay. You don't need to tell me you were sleepwalking if you were sneaking out to see him. It's not like everyone doesn't already know you two are a couple."
Having been in Midgar for almost a year, and hearing how flat the people's accents were, Genesis could pick out the slight draw in his and Angeal's speech patterns when they said anything over two words. They had a tendency to over-enunciate their A's.
Genesis flipped his hair, hitting his friend with droplets of water, "As if." Not realizing his flesh was turning the same color of his hair, both from embarrassment and anger, he growled, "Sephiroth and I are NOT a couple. Besides," he was tossing his hair flamboyantly now, "who would want to date that albino freak anyway?"
"That's not nice, Gen. He's our friend."
"No, he's your friend. I don't care if I ever see him again. And I was sleepwalking, thank you very much."
Angeal crossed his arms over his muscular chest and shook his head. "Genesis, I'm ashamed of you. I don't know what happened between you two, if you guys broke up, had a fight or what, but you shouldn't talk like that about Seph. We are the only friends he has."
When Genesis narrows his eyes, it means he's on the verge of a major explosion, and at that point, one should take cover. Unless, of course, you are Angeal Hewley, who has survived the Genesis volcano many times. So, when Angeal saw the look, he merely braced himself.
"You have no idea what happened last night. You weren't there. You don't know how he is or what he's truly like. He puts on a front to you, and like the naïve country boy you are, you blindly fall for it. You think he's wonderful, you think he's perfect, and you idolize him. Well, let me tell you something, Angeal Hewley, Sephiroth is NOT a god." The redhead was shouting, his pompous demeanor evaporated. You are the only friend Sephiroth has, because he adores the way you worship the ground he walks on. He doesn't want me around, and he made it perfectly clear last night."
Angeal knew better than to interrupt Gen during one of his tirades, so he waited until he was finished before adjusting his pants and kneeling before his outraged best friend.
"Tell me what happened, Gen. I'm listening." The brawny teen could see the shimmer in Gen's Mako-infused blue eyes, and knew he was close to crying.
Genesis took a deep breath, and told Geal everything. The nightmare, him throwing fire at Seph's lock, though it was a card-key in his dream, the feeling like Sephiroth had touched him, and finally, he told him about Seph kicking him out. When he was done speaking, the tears that had been threatening to fall all morning, were spilling.
Angeal dropped his face into his hand and stifled a chuckle. He made sure he was under control before he raised his head and locked eyes with the auburn SOLDIER. "I find it funny that I'm the naïve one, but you are clueless. You say it felt like he was touching you, but when you asked to stay all night, he said no. Then he had rolled over, turning his back to you?" He waited for Genesis to nod before continuing. "Gen, did you ever stop to think that maybe he told you to leave because he wanted you too much, and maybe he was hiding...an erection?" Angeal thought being blunt was best, because sometimes Genesis just didn't get it.
The auburn teen's eyes widened and his mouth formed a perfect little 'O'. He blushed to the roots of his hair. He hadn't thought about that. He tried really hard to picture Sephiroth hard, but that didn't seem possible; thinking about his silver-haired friend with a boner felt sort of...sacrilegious.
"Oh..." Gen sounded even younger than he was as he wiped his tears away with the back of his hand.
"Yeah. See, Gen," the dark-haired SOLDIER stood, "even if you two don't see it, the rest of us do. You guys stand a little too close sometimes, and if you're not touching him then he is touching you, even if just standing shoulder to shoulder. And there's this look you guys get when you think no one else is watching. I've even noticed Seph has been taking more and more missions that wont keep him gone longer than a day or two. Genesis, he's in love with you, and I already know you're in love with him. Why are you getting so paranoid about this?"
"But Geal, how can you want somebody too much, but then tell them to go away?"
"Because Sephiroth respects you. I'm pretty sure he'd want everything to be perfect your first time."
"He hasn't even kissed me yet."
"Have you kissed him?"
"Noooo." Of course he hadn't kissed Seph first. That's not how it worked. Sephiroth had to kiss him first. He wasn't sure exactly why it was supposed to be that way, but it was.
"Geal?" Genesis could tell the bigger boy was trying his hardest not to laugh at him, and though it should be upsetting him, he was only growing more perplexed. "How do you know so much about...well...it?"
A dark eyebrow raised, "It?"
"Yeah. You know...It! Sex."
Angeal couldn't contain his chuckle this time. "Dear Gaia, Genesis, I am a man. I think I know how it works."
Genesis' eyes narrowed, "You're not a man. You're the same age as me."
Waving off the insult, Angeal continued to laugh, "And there in lies the difference. While I am a man, you are still just a boy. Besides, don't you listen to how the other guys talk in the showers? If you paid any attention, you'd be an expert on the subject of sex."
The redhead shot up and swept past his friend, "I am not a boy...I'm a man too, you know!" Stopping in the bathroom doorway, he turned to look over his shoulder, "And you just wait, Angeal Hewley, he is going to kiss me, and...we are going to have sex." He nodded for emphasis before making a dramatic exit and slamming the door.
Grinning from ear to ear, the brawny SOLDIER couldn't resist calling out, "Less than two minutes ago he was an Albino Freak."
"Shut-up Geal!"
&%$ CBV $%&
As he suspected, Genesis still had no missions scheduled on his PHS, but after the talk he and Angeal had, he wasn't going to complain. He was elated to learn that the only reason Sephiroth told him to leave was because he wanted him. That still didn't make much sense, because Genesis always thought you went after something you wanted, but he did understand the part about wanting the first time to be perfect. Now he just had to figure out how to make it perfect. Maybe a candle-light dinner in Seph's room. He would go into the city later and buy candles – the scented kind – and steaks; he could buy those at Ifrit's Grill, only the best steakhouse in the city.
The talk had also granted him the self-confidence he needed confront the source of his hindrance; the person holding him back from receiving missions. He waited for Angeal to leave. Then dressed in his Third Class blue uniform, he made his way through the complex, going to tell off Sergeant Blakemore. He had already passed the survival class, now all he needed was the signature. Yet what the Sergeant required from him to get that signature was despicable.
No SOLDIER trainer should ever ask for 'that' and besides, he was going to erase his earlier self-doubts about him and Sephiroth by standing up for himself.
Walking into the lecture room, Genesis marched up to Sergeant Blackmore's desk, his Wilderness Survival check sheet in hand. After a moment of obviously being ignored, he cleared his throat. The Sergeant, a large black man with an obscene, bubbled-up scar running from his ear to the corner of his mouth, was leaning back in his chair, feet propped up on his desk, reading some sort of wildlife guide. His head poked out from behind the book when Genesis got his attention.
"Ah, SOLDIER Rhapsodos, what can I do for ya?" His grin exposed a rotting tooth in the lower front.
"Sign my paper," Genesis demanded, slamming the check sheet on the desk.
The man dropped his feet to the floor and crossed his arms, which Genesis noted, the biceps were larger than his head. His grin only widened. "Well, Mr. Rhapsodos, we've already discussed the terms of me signing you off."
Genesis pushed the paper closer to the Sergeant, refusing to be intimidated by the man's large size. "Sign it or I will tell."
A deep, gut rumbling chuckle erupted from the dark man's plump lips. "And what are you gonna tell, SOLDIER. That you were a poor student who needed your classmates on every assignment, just so you could barely pass?"
Blue eyes narrowed, and Genesis flipped his hair back, holding his head high, "No you scumbag," he kept his voice low and dangerous, " I will tell Director Lazard what you said I had to do for you to sign it. Now sign the FUCKING PAPER."
Sergeant Blakemore, Scarface to his friends, 'the ugly man' to the pretty little boys he was so fond of, only laughed louder at the redhead's outburst. He'd had little SOLDIERs like this one before. They were all the same, outraged and disgusted with the final stipulation placed before he would sign their papers. It was almost funny how they always believed that by threatening to tell, he would do what they wanted. It would have been comical if they weren't so helplessly pathetic when he was through with them. None of them ever told. In the end, they were too ashamed by the white, sticky goo that covered their adorable little faces. The pretty boy in front of him would be no exception.
"Very well, come with me," the Sergeant grabbed Gen's paper and headed into the supply room in the back of the class.
"Why don't you sign it out here so I can go?" Genesis had to swallow down the feeling of uneasiness that swept over him.
"Why don't you get your ass in here before I burn the fucking thing."
A slow dread, the kind that makes one nauseous and dizzy, began to creep up on the teen. He didn't want to do this. He did not want to enter that supply room, but...he needed his paper. As his feet carried him, inch by inch, toward that loathsome location, he kept chanting to himself, like a mantra, 'I will not compromise my morals. I will not compromise my morals.'
After walking the farthest distance he'd ever gone, the teenage SOLDIER entered the storage space. It was nothing more than a closet really, with extra packs of paper, pencils, maps, pens and folders all stacked neatly along one wall of shelves. The door was shut behind him and somehow Sergeant Blakemore had positioned himself between Genesis and the door, barricading the youth in.
Genesis backed against the far wall, muscles tense, scanning the area for something to use as a weapon in case the larger man tried anything. However, everything was still in its package, the Shin-Ra logo stamped neatly across plastic. Taking anything and opening it would waist too much time and leave himself wide open.
Pushing his courage to the forefront, holding his head high and pushing out his chin, the redhead demanded, "Give me my paper. I'm here, so sign it, and let me go."
The black man shook his head, an evil, lusty look causing his chocolate eyes to shine. "Get on your knees SOLDIER."
The Sergeant advanced.
&%$ CBV $%&
Sixty-eight floors of steel and glass, the Shin-Ra Tower was a contemporary work unto itself. If Midgar was the crown of the empire, the Tower was its jewel. Home to over 300 people – many of whom are military – and employing over 13,000, the structure really was the heart of Gaia. No other man made building in the world could compete with the Tower in terms of size or aesthetics. An estimated 2 million people a year traveled across the globe to marvel at its splendor. Second only to the Gold Saucer, the complex – with its surrounding pipes of jetting Mako – was a tourist attraction never to be forgotten.
Sephiroth wasn't thinking about how grandiose his home was nor was he thinking about how outsiders envied those who called the Tower home. No, his mind whirled in duel directions at the moment.
The first and foremost train of thought had to deal with motor skills. The silver-haired warrior kept stumbling as he walked. He was too big for his body and the feeling was throwing him off balance. He would march a few steps, then trip on his own feet. At one point he had begun to sway off to his right so much that he had to use the wall for support.
He had tried to alter his body when he first woke up, but a couple of things had stopped him. He wasn't sure how he could explain to everyone exactly how he had suddenly become an adult over night. And then there was the fact that he just couldn't do it. He had the power; he felt it surging though him. But his younger self lacked the concentration to stay focused long enough to make the alterations. He had tried, but his mind kept wandering and finally he had given up.
The other direction his thoughts went was to Sergeant Blakemore. Sephiroth didn't care if he had to crawl into the man's classroom – if he was even in class and not in the field. He was going to order the Sergeant to sign off on Genesis' assignment sheet, so the redhead could finally be given missions.
The last thing Sephiroth wanted was a weak consort. The Genesis he remembered was far from weak, but the teen would never grown in strength, power or experience if he wasn't assigned missions so he could improve his skill.
The teen warlord couldn't help but smirk as he thought back to how Gen used to be, before he had become sick, before Sephiroth had come back in time.
Blow for earth-shattering blow, blocking and thrusting, the auburn angle had been able to stand his ground when facing down the silver warrior in combat. Speed compensated for lacking strength, and magic spent in place of muscle, Genesis was the only person on all of Gaia who had ever been on par with Sephiroth; a true equal.
Sephiroth would have his companion back. It was only a matter of time.
The halfway point to his destination was when Seph became acclimated enough with his body to actually march, so when he entered Sergeant Blakemore's lecture hall, it was done much in the same fashion as he entered Lazard's office earlier – tall, straight-backed and purposeful.
He wasn't surprised to find the classroom empty. There had been a good chance the Sergeant was in the field instructing a class. Noting mentally to himself to go check Blakemore's schedule, Sephiroth turned to leave.
"Get on your knees SOLDIER."
The voice was muffled, though with his enhanced hearing, Sephiroth understood the words clearly.
Turning in the direction of the sound, the silver-haired SOLDIER easily pinpointed where the voice was coming from. With a more graceful stride, he moved to the storage room door and listened. He wanted to know what was going on before interrupting something that could be personal.
It was no secret that most of the men in the Shin-Ra army had chosen to take male lovers, if only for a quick fling in a supply closet, to make up for what they were missing from a female counterpart. Sephiroth never really had a problem with this, as long as work continued.
'But if the Sergeant has a SOLDIER in there with him, then they are breaking the rules,' his younger self decided to interject at that moment. 'They could get into series trouble.'
Ordering his younger self to be quiet, Sephiroth realized how perfect an opportunity this could be. Not burdened by the honor Angeal was driven by, the one winged angel was not adverse to using blackmail.
Thoughts racing, a plan formulated on how to best take advantage of the situation. It was simply a waiting game. The Second Class would stand beside the door until Blakemore and which ever SOLDIER was stupid enough to fool around with him, were finished, then Seph would let his presence be known. Both men would want to keep their rendezvous during working hours a secret, and the silver warrior would have a SOLDIER and a Sergeant dancing to his tune. It was great to be the puppet master.
Sephiroth snapped back to reality, plans dissolving, when he heard the voice of the second speaker.
"I already said NO! Give me my paper and get outta my way."
There was no mistaking that voice. The way the vocals flowed had long ago been burned into Seph's brain.
'Genesis!' Both halves of Sephiroth came together. There was only one thing on his mind now: murder.
Sephiroth and Genesis were not yet a couple, but that didn't stop the one winged angel from laying claim to the redhead. Genesis is and always had been his, and he'd be damned if some muscle-headed idiot, who fancied himself someone important in the Shin-Ra army, touched anything that belonged to him.
Barely a fraction of a second escaped when Masamune was summoned into being. There was no time to ponder on how the teen called the legendary death blade to hand, all that mattered was it was there and crying for blood.
"Goddess damn you," he heard Genesis hiss.
Rage that had been pent up for years exploded on the surface, shattering Sephiroth's usually cold demeanor. Sephiroth grabbed the doorknob and pulled. The lock was broken and metal was torn from the hinges.
The next scene played out so rapidly that even he had trouble keeping up.
The door flew away, exposing the large black man with his hand entwined in Genesis' hair. He was trying to push the boy to his knees. The sound of metal tearing from metal caught the attention of both men and Sergeant Blakemore's head whipped around to gawk at the teenage War God. Masamune was leveled at the man's chest, poised to strike the killing blow.
Death comes in many forms, in many ways, and on that day, Sergeant Blakemore's death came not on the end of a 6ft long sword, but at the hands of an auburn-haired teen, who would rather commit murder than disgrace himself by preforming an act that should only be done out of pleasure or love.
Sephiroth didn't have time to plunge his weapon into Blakemore's heart. He had spared only a moment to cast his eyes on his soon-to-be lover, that moment was all that was needed. He saw something akin to horror on Genesis' face, and the loss of Genesis' dignity was almost tangible. Sapphire and emerald eyes clashed for no longer than a heartbeat, but in that infinitesimal amount of time that stretched on into infinity, Sephiroth read his lover's intentions. He approved and braced himself for the outcome.
"What the..." the dark-skinned man muttered before the auburn angel's slender fingers cupped his chin. The twisting motion was quick, fluid as if practiced. The Sergeant's head snapped back toward Genesis. The sound of a bone popping echoed in the tiny room and filtered into the larger adjoining one.
Though he didn't get to see the man's face, Sephiroth could imagine Blackmore's dark eyes rolling up into his head, mouth suddenly hanging ajar as the last remnants of his question was cut short.
The dead man's body fell in a heap between the two SOLDIER's. So little was the value of human life that Sephiroth barely noticed it. His only care now was that no one was threatening his lover any longer.
Genesis' reaction was quite different. His thin arms wrapped around himself, copper eyebrows arching and pools of blue crystal widened in shock. His full, pink lips were slightly parted, and from where Sephiroth was standing, he could tell the teen was barely breathing.
Seph stared at Gen as if peering into his soul. Trembling and pale, meek and fragile, trying to reconcile his actions with the time and space he stood, Genesis had never looked more powerful or beautiful. Whatever feelings Sephiroth had been having for the boy solidified in that instant. Of course the love was there, but also a new found respect. The one-day consort was no longer merely loved, he was cherished, treasured. For a being like the silver warlord, killing to protect ones self-respect was the most meaningful kill of all.
"I...I murdered him."
There! That look on the boy's face as his bottom lip quivered and he hugged himself tighter, that was the look that kept Sephiroth enthralled, endearing the redhead to him for eternity. It was the look of innocence shattered – just like the dead man's neck – and raw power seeping in to fill the void. It was the look of slow realization that washes over a person when they come to understand that they have the power over life and death.
Sephiroth was overjoyed that he was able to bare witness to Genesis' first kill. He wanted to embrace the teen and tell him how proud of him he was. His younger self wanted to embrace his love, to give comfort and support, to let Gen know that he didn't have to be scared and that he would always be there for him. The emotions became too intense.
As was customary, whenever the silver SOLDIER began feeling anything too strongly, he dropped a wall of ice, cold and impenetrable, over those feelings. It was a protective measure, one he'd learned as a child.
"You did." Sephiroth said, his voice even, detached. It was a statement of fact, one holding no judgment.
Genesis, tears starting to leak from the corners of his eyes, outlining those sapphire orbs in cracked red, took a step toward Sephiroth. "They are going to court martial me," his tone was shaky. "I will be hanged for treason." A sob passed his lips.
The silver warrior was warring with himself again. His younger, more emotional self wanted to console the teen. He wanted to take Genesis in his arms and kisses his quivering mouth and tell him everything was going to be okay. He wanted Gen to know that somehow he would fix it.
No solace was forthcoming however, the older Sephiroth didn't know how to give comfort in a time like this. His heart was too swollen with pride. He had been congratulated for his first kill, yet he knew that wouldn't be the appropriate response to give his young lover.
Genesis' words sunk in, and Sephiroth found himself terrified for the second time in less than twenty-four hours. He envisioned the young teen's hands tied behind his back, being forcefully led to a steal gallows because Midgar didn't have the trees to make it out of wood. The redhead would be put on a stool and a noose lowered around his neck. Shin-Ra would have this take place on the training field to make an example out of him. SOLDIER, regular army, the Turks, and the Shin-Ra executives would be there. Everyone would be cheering on his death; everyone but Sephiroth, but he would be powerless to stop it.
The executioner would then push Genesis off the stool, and he would dangle by the noose, eyes bulging out, tongue lolling. There would be a popping of the redhead's neck, and then he would die.
Kicking himself for allowing such imagery to form in his mind, blaming it on his younger self's vivid imagination, the War God did move to collect the auburn angel in his arms. He held him close, keeping the embrace strong and tight. He wanted to convince himself that nothing was going to happen to Gen, but considering he hadn't been around in his former life for Gen's first kill...
What had changed? He hadn't been there when Genesis took his first human life. Sephiroth would have remembered something like that. Did his very presence in the past mean all bets were off, that nothing this time around was going to be the same? Without letting his lover see, he let a smirk form on his lips. The fear disappeared as he began to feel completely in control of his destiny.
"No one is going to hang you, Genesis," Sephiroth kissed the crown of red silk. "I wont let them."
Genesis dropped his head to Sephiroth's chest, and the silver-haired boy could feel the tears wetting his purple uniform shirt.
"How do you know? How can you stop it? I can feel the blood staining my hands." Gen's voice was barely above a whisper.
Sparing Sergeant Blakemore, who was already breaking down into glowing green sparkles, no more than a glance, Seph started leading Gen back to his room.
"Genesis, you are being dramatic. Blood is not staining your hands. You broke his neck, there was no blood."
"Proverbial, Seph. Proverbial."
The Second Class couldn't contain his chuckle. At least Genesis was still in the frame of mind to have his sharp, sarcastic wit about him.
&%$ CBV $%&
TBC