'Alexander' the voice rang through his head. Alex shook his head and sunk down onto the steps resting his arms on his knees, the world suddenly seemed smaller, the fields, the trees: all so far away. His mind swam with all sorts of thoughts, yet he could not listen to one.
"I'm sorry" a voice called out. Even without looking over his shoulder Alex could tell it was Darwin. Still he looked over his shoulder squinting his eyes from the evening sun.
"You're dead" he said simply and turned back, his thumb running along the palm of his hand finding it suddenly fascinating. All he wanted was to be normal, fit in. Forget about the people he had killed. Had he not suffered enough?
"I..I don't blame you, you know that" Alex turned to face the other man who had now seated himself next to him on the cold stone step. Alex moved over wanting distance, why, he didn't know.
"No I don't know that, because I repeat you're dead" he turned with a huff never one for emotions or small talk. If anything he was known for being straight up and sometimes quiet. Without thinking Alex stood and looked down at Darwin.
"I need time, and space" was all he said, a little coldly, but that was him. Walking back up the steps he pushed the doors open as a group of teenagers came out running. Alex glared at them before walking inside suddenly feeling colder than before.
Back in his room he sat on the edge of his bed head in hands before falling back on the bed, staring at the white ceiling.
"Fuuuckkk" was all he said, wanting suddenly to be asleep, waking up to find it a bad dream. Like those he had right after Darwin had died. Those nightmares where he imagined Darwin coming back and blaming him. He had said it himself, he didn't blame him. But Alex knew that people would say anything, he could have just been sparing his feelings for all he knew.
That night he did not sleep, he lay there in the same clothes staring at the ceiling until he couldn't see it from the lack of light. Eventually light poured through, but he made no attempt to move.