Pure

A/N: Thanks to OnlyWishedYouKnew; she saved the boys from speaking in "sissy British accents" =)

3- Dreams I'll Never See*

The taste of this blood was so good that Sam could feel his body was tingling with pleasure head to toe. He wanted to fill his mouth with it, quaff it, gargle with it… He grabbed the flesh with his teeth to milk more blood, something Ruby had taught him… milking the blood out of the flesh. But comparing this taste to Ruby's would be a sacrilege… this was so delicious... and he was so damn thirsty... He did not want to stop savoring this tasty feast but a very annoying noise at an increasing intensity was making it almost impossible to thoroughly enjoy this luxury. He just wanted to shut the noise off and indulge in this taste. That was when he realized the nagging noise was coming from his older brother:

"Sam, stop it... Sammy, please. You are choking me. Sammy!"

"Dean!" Sam let Dean go in shock.

Dean was sitting on his bed, crouching next to him trying to catch his breath. Sam looked at him, not knowing what to think:

"What the hell are you doing...? What am I doing?"

"Thank God, you are back Sammy." Dean said after catching his breath. "How are you feeling?"

"Feeling like shit!" and that was the truth, something was seriously wrong; but Sam could not understand what it was. "What is going on?"

"Relax..."

"Is that blood?" Sam checked the red line weeping from Dean's neck down to his naked torso. Then he realized the red smudges on his hands and the infernal taste in his mouth. Everything was indicating a damn thing...

"Was I sucking your blood Dean?"

"Not exactly..."

"Really…? You need to give me a hell of an explanation of everything going on here then, because it sure seems like that's what I was doing."

"OK... Calm down… It was more like… I was feeding you with my blood rather than you were sucking me. How's that for an explanation."

Sam was furious, but he could not talk. A sharp, excruciating pain turned his questions into groans. His stomach was in an agonizing pain as if a wild animal was clawing his entrails.

"Sammy!" Dean was nervous. "Sammy, listen to me. You need to keep going. Trust me, OK?"

Sam wanted to answer, but the pain was not letting him even breathe let alone speak. His agony was growing, throbbing inside him. He was sure his internal organs were torn to little pieces.

"OK Sammy. Just drink it. Drink it, God damn it! Drink! Dean stuck his bleeding flesh into Sam's mouth one more time. "Just drink it, you stubborn giant!" he yelled, rubbing his neck to Sam's lips.

After the flavor of the blood reached his taste buds, Sam dug into the bleeding flesh as a reflex. The pain subdued immediately. Now that he was sucking again, the taste was taking his mind away; he was beset by that blessed feeling. He could not help but put his hands around Dean's neck. He needed to drink more, the desire was consuming him inch-by-inch. He felt Dean's hands on his hair; combing his younger brother's hair with his fingers while murmuring to his ear:

"It's OK Sammy. I got you... just be gentle OK… It's OK..."

So it was Dean's blood that was so freaking tasty that made him forget he was sucking human blood. God, it was luscious… better than anything else he tasted in his entire life. The pain was over and the blood was not really flowing anymore but he could not take his mouth away from the flesh. He was savoring every single drop, sliding his tongue over the wound again and again.

Dean realized that Sam was not sucking him anymore. He slightly jerked his head back to see what his brother was doing; but Sam did not allow him. His big hands were around his neck, not letting his brother's flesh away from his mouth.

"Sammy?" Dean asked anxiously. "You all right?"

The hands around his neck were relaxed. Dean raised his head up to look Sam's face. What he saw was an odd mixture of bliss and remorse.

"Sammy, you all right?" Dean asked again.

Sam, coming back to the reality, let him free.

"No… Of course I am not all right Dean. Man...! How could you allow me to do this?"

"It's no big deal." Dean offered one of his half smiles, "It is not the first time I am bleeding for you, Sasquatch. Remember that freaking accident in Colorado; I had to give you almost 2 pints back then. You are such a pain in the ass!" But he knew Sam needed more than joking around, so he explained the Hoodoo mojo; skipped the whole virginity deal and its consequences, for now.

Sam did not answer, could not. His brother was letting him suck his blood! Like a vampire! Like a fucking vampire! He could see the patches covering Dean's arms and did not need a second guess why Dean needed that much bandages.

"Sammy. Say something." Dean was nervous.

"I… I feel terrible." Tears were gathering in his eyes. "You gave me everything Dean. I was not supposed to do this to you. After everything you have been through, I am sucking your blood like a, like a…"

"Shhh... We'll deal with your chick flick moments later. Now I want you to gather your strength. We will need to do this again, do you understand? Till you get rid of the last bit of the addiction. And hell, we'll do couple of extra just to make sure. Do you understand? I need you to play along. Suck it up and suck it in."

Sam could not hold his tears any longer. He was crying for Dean, crying for himself, for everything had happened to them, to him… for being a freak, for being a toy for demons... losing every single member of the family one after another… seeing his brother shredded by the hell hounds… not being able to save him, rescue him… living with the guilt and the constant pain. And now, after Dean had pulled up the great escape from hell, he was sucking his brother's blood! As if it wasn't enough that Dean had given his life for him, his soul… No! Apparently he had to take more, Sam Winchester –as a spoiled brat he is- had to take everything his big brother could give.

"I am so sorry Dean. You have done so much for me, I.. I.. shouldn't.."

"Cut it out Sammy. I'll kick your ass once you get better but not now. Not now." Dean hugged him tight, Sammy needed it. Hell! Dean needed that too.

"I got you Sammy. I will always be there for you. You know that."

Sam knew that the only thing that was constant in his upside-down life was Dean. Dean was always there when Sam needed him, always… He clung to his brother; burying his –now too heavy to carry- head into his shoulder, still crying. But the smell of his brother's blood was still lingering on his neck; the dampness on his flesh distracted Sam. He could not help but inhale all the scent in. It was getting into him, making him almost dizzy with a crazy urge. Dean smelled delicious, just like his blood. Sam tried to hold himself, hold his tongue…

"Dean…" he tried to pull himself back before giving in to that urge . But Dean was holding him tight, thinking that his brother was avoiding his touch like a guilty high school girl. Dean held him, squeezed him between his damaged arms; was not going to let his baby brother go.

"Shhh… It's OK."

"Oh! Dean, I can't help it..." Sam could not hold any longer; he was weak and the temptation was overwhelming. "I am so sorry..."

Dean was expecting these words but not Sam's tongue on his froze for a moment, not knowing what to do. His brother was scenting him, licking him?

"Dean…You taste so good…" Sam whispered almost inaudible.

"Sam, what are you doing?" Dean did not know what to think. Sam's huge hands were spreading on his back. "OK Sammy, that's enough… let go!" The situation now was worse than when Sam had been comatose. Dean still could not reach to his brother as before, but Sam was no longer lying still. Dean realized that fear was slightly building up in his heart; that he was actually afraid of his younger sibling. The thought of calling Bobby for help crossed his mind; but he dismissed it immediately. He did not want anyone seeing them in this situation.

"Sam, enough!" He finally could push his brother with enough force to free himself.

Sam was disoriented; looked up to his standing brother with a bewildered look on his face. His right mind was back again as he was away from the source of the urges.

"I am sorry Dean... I have no idea… I mean, I don't know what got into me man…I am sorry…" he was babbling in shock.

Dean knew what got into him… his tainted blood!

"Just calm down… I think it's some kind of side effect of the treatment." It wasn't a total lie. "Relax now. You need to get some rest."

Either because of the fatigue or the remorse, Sam lay down without uttering any word.

"Just get some rest." Dean said leaving the room. He could not face his brother right now.

xxx

"So how is he?" Bobby asked tending Dean's neck and continued as there was no response from the young man. "You know, the cut doesn't look half bad this time. It's a good sign."

"He woke up, Bobby." Dean finally said it. He knew he had to break the news to Bobby, but he was not sure what to say.

"What? He's awake? Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Bobby was ready to run to the panic-room.

"He's resting now. He was himself only for a moment… confused with what's going on…"

"I ain't surprised. Imagine waking up and finding you're suck-…" Bobby figured it was not a good idea to give voice to such thoughts. "Doesn't matter… he's getting better. So, why are you in such a peachy mood?"

"Me? I'm just tired."Dean answered with slight shrug.

But the older man knew better. He knew seeing his brother awake would sweep all Dean's fatigue away. He knew there was more, but also knew it was for the best not to stir up.

"What are we going to do Bobby?"

"On what?"

"You know what… What if he turns out like… like a different kind of monster? What am I supposed to do then Bobby?"

"He won't. Don't listen to the old witch. They love bitching about the worst case all the time."

"Yeah." Dean gave a sad smile to Bobby. He hoped with all his heart that Bobby was right.

xxx

Sam woke up dizzy. It must have been some time he dozed off since it looked pitch dark outside. The dreams that infested his sleep were weird, not nightmare or psychic weird but what the hell weird. He saw Dean, his older brother in action… with girls, so many of them. Some of them Sam knew very well, some not at all. Different girls, different times but always with Dean. The dreams were so realistic that he could feel every single sensation his brother went through, feel the taste of the girls' lips in his mouth, feel their nails over his back, the softness of their breast in his hands, their high-pitch voice, crying Dean's name, in his ears, their warmness around his prick… that made him realize that he had a killer hard-on inside his jeans. He had no idea why he watched a very kinky porn movie as a dream and his brother in the leading role- …and, man! Dean could put on an exquisite show!

Sam could not dwell on the thoughts much longer since a pain, a very familiar and horrifying pain, started to surface. The terror filled the young man. He knew that it would take only moments for this pain to reach to the torture level. He also knew what would stop it. But could not bring himself to call his brother as if he was going to ask a glass of water. He could not call Dean to suck his blood, just could not do it. The claws were smashing his inside again. The pain became unbearable very fast and Sam could not hold his screams any longer.

Dean stormed into the room. It did not take him even a minute to take his shirt off, cut his neck and put the healing powder on himself. He crouched over his lying brother and bled to his mouth again. Sam's pain dimmed immediately, he was sucking his brother quietly now.

"Dean…"

"You should continue... don't stop."

"Can I… I mean.. I can't drink like this"

Dean were confused at first, then realized the position they were in was not the best for Sammy to drink anything.

"I… I don't wanna hurt you but I can't do it at this position without… you know… biting you." The shame was pouring from his eyes.

"OK." All Dean could say. He let his brother rise and stoop over him. "Apparently you're not as elastic as that red-haired waitress I told you about." He winked to his brother. He was not actually in the mood but had to joke around; Sammy was really down with his shame. And seeing that tiny little smile on his younger brother's eyes was worth the effort. Sam was not hurting him; he was sucking gently… no more biting in the flesh, no more pocking the tongue into the wound. And this time he did not dwell on the cut after the bleeding stopped.

Sam lay down on his bed; trying to clean his lips from the blood. Watching his brother, Dean saw something very disturbing: his brother's prick was wiggling inside his jeans.

"Sammy…?" He did not how to ask. "You feel alright?"

"Just as I'm supposed to feel after sucking my brother's blood: peachy!" The sarcasm in his voice calmed Dean a bit. "Give me the first-aid kit; let's take care of that cut."

Dean let his brother tend him. The sadness, remorse and shame in Sam's eyes would normally be painful for him to witness, but today it was different. It showed that his brother did not turn into a monster, that he was still human.

"Dean can I ask you a question?" Sam asked after he was done tending the wound.

"OK?" Dean was expecting a whining 'Francis'.

"Did you ever… did you sleep with Lisa McDowell?"

"What?" This was unexpected.

"Just answer my question. You slept with her, didn't you?"

"Sam… I don't even know…"

"Don't lie to me, Dean. You remember her. I was in love with her."

"You were 13 then. 13 years olds don't fall in love. They fall into boobs."

"Yeah… that's what you told me back then too."

Dean did not say anything; did not know what to say.

"You did it to punish her, right?" Sam continued.

"Sammy… I… Why are you asking these questions? What difference does it make?"

"I just…Just tell me."

"OK. I did it. I slept with your high school love who by the way was the greatest bitch I have ever known. Happy now?"

"I just… I just can't believe you did it! She was just a kid, man."

"She humiliated you in front of the whole school. And school was important for you Sammy. By the way, she was so not just a kid; she was an arrogant, cruel young bitch. Girls can be real monsters when they are 15. Dude, she was such a smug that she actually did believe she could tempt me after all she had done to you, to my brother. Stupid bitch! At least I humiliated her discretely, God knows she deserved worse."

"I would never have imagined that you could enjoy doing something like that." Sam sounded so sure that Dean could not deny it. He just kept his silence. "I am not being judgmental Dean, just genuinely surprised."

"Let's cut it out, shall we?" Dean was uneasy with this topic. He had questions of how on earth his brother knew all these; but he was sure he would not want to know. "Sammy, I'm tired, I'm constantly losing blood here. Excuse me if I'm not in the mood to dwell in your tragic(!) adolescent love life." There, he just stopped Sam but at what cost. The sorrow in his brother's eyes was digging into his heart. "Perfect!" He thought. "Just perfect."

TBC

* 6th track on Molly Hatchet 1978's album Molly Hatchet