Chapter 3

AN: Thanks so much for reading along on this crazy experiment. Poor P and D—what would you do if this happened to you?...Wait...waking up in a hunk's body...having it all to myself...Maybe that wouldn't be too bad...

Penelope took it on herself to call in for them. She knew there was no way they would be able to do this charade at work. Her coworkers were far too intuitive; one look, and they'd guess that something was going on. Although, they probably wouldn't guess this... Who on earth would?

And to be honest, she really didn't want to tackle an UnSub.

It was funny. She'd always wondered what it would be like to be a man. When she'd thought about it, she'd automatically thought she would want to do things like tackle an UnSub, drink beer, burp loudly, and scratch herself in public. None of those things were rising to the forefront right now. In fact, she felt remarkably like herself, only with fantastic abs of steel. She was simply a Penelope in Derek's clothing—or lack thereof, as was the case!

Now that...that interested her. She seriously wanted to sneak a peak at the heat source of her Hot Stuff, curious girl that she was. Although any part of him naked would be beautiful; he kept in tip top shape. That part, well...she really did have to pee; that would be the optimal time to casually glance at the entire fantastic sculpted chocolate package. She could see, too, if those random rumors she'd heard over the years were true.

However, she wanted to treat Derek's body with as much dignity and respect as she could. After all, she expected he'd do the same for her, since he cared about her like she cared about him. It was just natural curiosity. That's all. Yep.

Not quite ready to face the music—she needed to calm down a bit—she picked up the phone and dialed work, changing her focus completely.

"Behavioral Analysis Unit; Reid speaking."

"Hi, my sweet heap of gray matter," she said, before she remembered that she sounded like Derek.

She was met with utter silence.

When he finally did speak, it was with a sense of humor behind it. "Umm...Morgan? I...ah...didn't know you were trying out new nicknames?"

"Uh...uh...Penelope was calling you that this morning, and I automatically said it," she said, hoping he'd take the excuse and run with it.

No such luck.

"Oh, okay." Reid paused, and then said, "Would you like to speak to fuzzy bear Hotch or sweetheart Rossi, while you're at it?"

"Shut up, kid," she said in her best intonation of what Derek would say. Besides, the words actually fit at the moment.

"All right," Reid commented with a chuckle. "Geez, Morgan. Wake up on the wrong side of the bed?"

Lord, he didn't know the half of it!

"Listen, Penelope had some car troubles; she's stranded far away," she lied, feeling like a dog for having to tell a fib. "We aren't going to be able to make it in. I'm helping her out."

"Where about is she stranded?"

"No time. I have to go to the bathroom," Penelope said, hanging up the phone quickly, not wanting to lie anymore—or risk being discovered. Besides, that urge to go to the bathroom was getting unbearable.

Kicking off the comforter, she stood and immediately gasped when she looked down those perfectly sculpted, flat abs. Good Lord! How did he fit that thing into his pants?

She could feel her cheeks flushing and felt even worse when his penis started to rise to attention. Her eyes kept getting wider and wider as the erection grew longer and longer. How do you stop this thing? she wondered in vain, as it reached its full, throbbing—and kind of painful!—glory.

Strangely, the urge to pee left completely once she got to that state.

Well, now she saw it, and the rumors were true. It was really beautiful, so thick and long. It made her mouth water. She loved oral sex, loved to give it and get it, but she'd never done it to one that looked like that. On impulse, she grasped it with her hand and squeezed hard, feeling pleasurable sensations shoot through her body, radiating over her back and legs, and then concentrating in her groin. She wondered if she would even be able to fit her mouth around that, if ever given the chance. She couldn't make her fingers do it, and it was Derek's huge hand she was using.

That thought—Derek's hand—brought her back to where she was. This was Derek's private self she was playing with. He deserved better than that.

"Oh, Hot Stuff, I'm sorry," she murmured to herself, with tears of shame wetting her eyes. The erection began to wane somewhat from the rigid state it was in, and a while later, it was back to its normal, somnolent state.

She went into the bathroom to relieve herself and finish the morning ablutions before Derek arrived.

"Hey," she said half an hour later, opening the front door to let him...her...Derek in.

"Hi, baby," he said, wrapping an arm around her.

Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around him in a protective gesture, one that he had given her so many times, one that had given her solace. She was struck by the warmth of her own body against her, the sweet smell of lilies and soap that rose to caress her nostrils. It was very pleasant, holding herself.

Derek sighed against her, and then chuckled. "I don't think I have ever made that sound before in my life!"

She grinned. "I do it every time you hold me."

Before she knew what was happening, she leaned down and kissed the top of his head. It was an automatic thing, like she simply had to do it.

He looked up at her and smiled. "I do that every time, too."

Penelope looked into her own eyes, so warm and trusting, and felt a stirring in her heart—and something else. It was...different, seeing herself through his eyes. Really weird. Like she was filtered though a lens, rose colored glasses, and was so much better than she normally was. She couldn't explain it...it was just how she felt.

Derek's phone rang. He stared at it, and then said, "You'd better answer that."

Penelope picked up the phone and said, "Morgan."

"Hi, Der bear. It's Kayla," a husky voiced woman said on the other line. "I still have the tickets for our show tonight. Don't forget."

She mouthed to Derek, It's Kayla!

"Oh, fuck, P," he swore swiftly.

"Derek? Is that a woman's voice?" Kayla asked.

"Uhh...no," she said, figuring she wasn't really lying. Derek was a man...technically.

"You canceled last month, Derek," she said, sounding irritated. "Please don't cancel on me again."

Penelope knew Derek cared for Kayla; she couldn't let him down and lose his girlfriend because this horrible thing happened. Sooner or later, they'd be back in their own bodies, back in their own lives.

Hopefully.

With a sigh, she said, "I'll be there, sweetheart."

Kayla squealed with glee. "Oh, I am so glad! And Derek?"

"What?"

Her voice dropped another octave. "I'm wearing the panties you like..."

She groaned miserably as she hung up the phone.

"God, Penelope," Derek hissed. "Are you insane? What did you do that for?"

"I didn't want to ruin your love life, Derek Morgan!" she snipped back at him."That's why I did it."

He looked deservedly sheepish. "Oh. Oh...thank you." He sighed heavily, and then sat down. "Well, that was very nice...but don't expect me to go out with Lynch."

Penelope felt her heart racing. "Oh, frack..."

He opened one eye, looked at her, and then started shaking his head. "Oh, no. Hell, no. I am NOT going out with Lynch!"

"Kevin. Call him Kevin," she said. "And you have to. It's our make-up anniversary date...the one I had to cry about."

"You're kidding."

"No!" she cried. "I wish I was."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Should I wear sexy panties, too?"

"Of course not," she said. "A quick, rudimentary date. That's all."

He arched a brow at her, which surprised her, since he did it from her own face. She'd tried to do that a million times and couldn't, yet he'd just managed to do it in a heartbeat. "No hanky panky?"

She shook her head. "Heavens, no. I am not going to sleep with Kayla, either."

"Good!" he retorted. "Although you'd have the better end of the deal. I don't think Lynch would be much of a firecracker in bed."

"It's Kevin! And be nice," she snapped irritatedly.

"This is going to be hell," he muttered. "I can't stand that geeky bastard, and now he is going to be fawning all over me like he always does to you."

"Kevin doesn't like you very much, either," Penelope said back. "And he does not fawn."

He didn't respond. In fact, they were quiet, both too upset to speak. Instead of feeling better, they felt worse.

Tired of feeling like she couldn't do anything, she stood and said, "We have to do something; I can't stand this."

"Yeah," he said, standing, too. "We have research to do. Maybe we can figure this out and get back to the way we were."

For some reason, neither of them felt very hopeful of that.