Imprinting? Isn't That What Ducks Do?
Twilight © Stephenie Meyer
Original Plot & Characters © little miss randomosity
Chapter Three: Three Cheers for Odd Scenarios
Now, instead of going on and on and boring you with details about the exchange/stare-down/whatever-other-name-you-can-come-up-for-it, and how practically no one could hear what was going on since they were talking in hushed, 'this-is-private-foo!' voices, I'm just going to sum up what happened based on the rumors swirling around:
A RE-ENACTMENT OF LA PUSH TRIBAL SCHOOL'S FIRST (AND ONLY) FIGHT…THINGY BASED ON THE THEATER INSIDE SOFIA'S OVER-ACTIVE IMAGINATION:
JACOB: Damn it, Paul, Jared, stop trying to steal Embry away from us! He's mine, hear me? MINE.
EMBRY: Exactly! …Wait, what?
QUIL: Yeah! Tell Sam we need him for our kinky threesomes. ;D
EMBRY: Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute, guys, just wait. I don't remember anything about—
PAUL: Shut up, both of you! Like I give a shit about your weird-ass bromance. The only reason we're here is because Sam wants Embry—
QUIL: -gasps- To molest him?
EMBRY: -widens eyes- T-there's no way! I hate him! I don't want anything to do with that guy, sexually or…um… O / / / O
PAUL: -facepalms- Of course not, you fucking idiots.
QUIL: Then…is it you that really want Embry...but you're just saying it's Sam to hide your real intentions? Oh man. Paul, Paul, Paul… –shakes head disappointedly- You should know better: Embry definitely isn't into hot-heads like you.
PAUL: -vibrates violently (like a cell-phone~) while making weird snarling noise-
JARED: OH SHIT. Bai bai, now –grabs Paul under armpits and drags him away-
THE END
…Okay, I'll admit this is probably not exactly what happened, but honestly, how else am I supposed to make sense of things with all these 'what if's'?
…Plus, judging what I can understand from the exchange, it sounds really boring, so aren't you glad you have my version of things to read instead?
Yeah, don't answer that.
But I digress.
What I've really wanted to say this whole time is: I have a plan. A plan for what, you might ask? Why, invisible audience members, knowing me and my personality, it should be obvious by now—but, just in case you're one of those people who's skipped the past two chapters or so of my life, I'll tell you. It is a plan to figure out how Embry Call (Chemistry extraordinaire and my self-proclaimed rival) could possibly obtain the nonsensical score of 55/50 on our last Chemistry test, scoring a good five points higher than my perfect score of 50/50. It is a plan that utilizes my new-found information on him and his, er, friend Quil Atarea.
"Kufufufu, my plan is fool-proof!"
"Umm, what was that, Sofia?"
"Ehh? Oh no, I'm just plotting, Aria, as you can see."
"…By any chance, does this plan of yours involve me?"
"Well, now that you mention it…"
"Target sighted: headed towards math class—over."
"…"
"Ahem. I said, "Target sighted: headed towards math class—over."
"…"
A deep intake of breath. Then—
"TARGET SIGHTED! I REPEAT: TARGET SIGHTED! HEADED—" A hand, clamped over my mouth, muffling my voice.
Aria sighs before removing her hand and uncovering my face. "Sofia, two things first: one, I'm standing right next to you. Two, I am not helping you stalk Quil."
"What! Why not?" I drop the walkie-talkie I was speaking into, then give my best friend what I hope to be is my best kicked-puppy look.
The result? Absolutely nothing. If possible, I think she looks even more determined to ignore me now. Dang.
So, you're probably why the heck this so-called plan of mine involves stalking Quil, right? Well, dear readers, here's something I figured out on my own not-too-recently…
Quil's got the hots for Embry.
I know—ingenious right? So obvious…yet so not obvious. To think that all those times that those two hang out, all Quil really wants is for Embry to acknowledge and accept him and maybe even return his love…it's so tragic. It was confirmed today, during the exchange, when Quil, unable to let the love of his life fall into the clutches of Sam Uley, sought to make sure that Sam's goonies were also unable to obtain Embry….
You gotta admit, the guy's a romantic.
A romantic who needs some…moral support, so to speak. Someone to help him come out of the closet and accept his feelings with open arms—and that's where I come in. With me by his side, Quil will definitely get Embry's attention; and Quil, overcome with joy and feeling eternally grateful, will most certainly divulge in me the secret of Embry's success at Chemistry…
Kufufufufu. Sometimes, the pure genius of my plans cracks me up. Kufufufu—
"Sofia? Sofia!" Aria's annoyed voice snaps me out of my ramblings. I stare at her for a few seconds before tilting my head to the side.
"What is it? I was having this wonderful reflection; you know, the one where I gloss over every fine detail of my ploy to use Quil and Embry's relationship as a way to find eternal appeasement."
"…What?"
I sigh impatiently. "Quil and Embry. Relationship-wise. Use it to find how Embry keeps beating me at Chemistry."
Aria furrows her eyebrows in confusion. "B-but…since when does Quil like Embry that way?"
"Since, like, forever! Haven't you noticed the signs? Those simple gestures that serve to go a long way?" At her questioning expression, I shake my head, disappointed. "Well then, you'll just have to see for yourself." I motion to the door of the Algebra 2 Room. "C'mon then, let's go follow Quil."
"B-but..." she starts. Realizing it's pointless, she quickly shakes her head from side to side. "Fine, but…why do I have a feeling I'm not going to like this new plan of yours anymore than the last?"
I grin cheekily at her. "Because you probably won't."
"Right."
Authoress' Talk:
Another short chapter filled with completely random plot points. I don't deserve all the credit though-Katekyo Hitman Reborn! and Black Butler are two stories that (somehow?) inspired this. (See if you can get the references ;))
It's at this point in this story that I've realized this is more of a crack-fic! now than I'd ever thought it would be. Hur. Somehow, I don't seem to mind that much now. ...I guess I'm getting used to the random crap my brain spews out for this story. XD
I'd like to point out that Sofia's perception of the people around her aren't exactly...precise (to put it nicely) and more often than not, are known to be weird (to put it bluntly). Also, keep in mind that the rumors are a major influence in the scene in her head. So, in other words, Embry is not an innocent school-girl type of guy, Jacob is not his overly possessive sugar daddy, and Quil is not a pervert (well, not TOO perverted) who brags about his kinky threesomes (...with men, at least). ...Gosh, you have no idea how weird it was to write that last sentence. XD
Oh! And before I forget, I'd like to thank all the reviewers who reviewed the first two chapters, and all the ghost readers who favorited/alerted/anticipated the next chapter. I'd like to give you all cookies, but as one reviewer pointed out, these cookies might be poisonous, and would most probably kill you, preventing you from reading and/or reviewing this chapter and the subsequent chapters.
So, if I can finally get my Spanish right, I'll leave it at this:
Hasta luego! (And leave a review with a nice, healthy serving of criticism? :3)
~ little miss randomosity