Author's Note: Thank you all so much for the reviews for last chapter! There was no prompt for this one…it was 'Author's Choice.'

I hope you're reading dustytiger's Matters of the Universe! It's so much fun to see how different these stories are turning out!

~Angie

"Unbelievable," Derek said ten minutes later as he got out of his SUV.

Reid rolled the passenger's side window down. "What is it?" he asked loudly through the now open space.

"Flat," Derek reported.

"Well…change it," Reid told him.

"I can't, Genius."

"Why not?" Reid asked, getting out of the vehicle.

Derek sighed. "Because when I helped Penelope move a few weeks ago, I had to take the spare out to make room for her shoes," he explained impatiently.

"Her shoes?" Reid asked in near disgust.

"Yeah, well…make fun all you want, but you didn't see the red shiny heels with the sequined straps that would have buckled around her ankles," Derek explained.

Reid just stared at him. "Look at you," he said, his lips twitching. "Just rescuing her from one disaster after another."

"Her moving wasn't a disaster," Derek argued. "It was a good thing. She's in a safer neighborhood now."

Reid scoffed. "Yeah…two streets away from you," he remarked dryly.

"I don't know why you go on about this. I treat all the women I work with the same way," Derek insisted.

Reid quirked a brow at his friend. "I'd like to hear you call Ash 'Baby Girl.'"

Derek chuckled. "And never see my testicles again?"

Reid grinned. "It would work out better for the rest of us mere mortals out there in the dating pool."

Derek's gaze narrowed as he pulled out his phone and hit three on the speed dial. "Dating pool? I thought you were over in the lounge chair with Prentiss."

"I am but—"

Derek held up a finger. "Hey, Rossi. It's Morgan. Can you do me a favor?"

"I can't believe you did that," Reid said five minutes later.

"Did what?" Derek asked.

"Lied to Garcia."

"I didn't lie to her," Derek said. "I told her it was going to take us longer to get there than I thought."

Reid shook his head and put his hands in his jacket pocket to warm them up. "You would rather have her sit there stranded waiting for you instead of sending Rossi to help her. Do you know how screwed up that is?"

"It's not screwed up," Derek said.

"Derek, you just called Rossi and asked him to go to your house to get your spare."

"So?"

"So he could have gone to change Penelope's tire first, and she wouldn't have had to wait for us, but you insist on being her knight in shining armor!" Reid pressed.

"I don't—"

Reid shook his head. "You would have been so jealous if she'd called me or Rossi or Hotch to go change that tire for her instead of you. You probably wouldn't have been able to even see straight!"

Derek could only think of one thing that would distract Reid. "So…rumor has that Em's wearing a bikini in that lounge chair."

It was quite a site to see, pulling up to the scene of Penelope's plight.

Reid nearly jumped out of the vehicle before it came to a complete stop. Derek's headlights had illuminated the middle of the street as they'd approached the women, but instead of waiting demurely in the car as he'd expected (his mistake, he was sure,) they were dancing in the middle of the street with the radio in Penelope's car cranked—Prince's Little Red Corvette, if he wasn't mistaken.

For God's sake, it was freezing out and Emily didn't even have a coat on with her sleeveless dress! And he was about to march over there and scolded her, but when she lifted an arm in the air, bent her knees, and began to shake it, he was rooted to the spot. Thank God Derek had left his headlights on!

She was shaking her head back and forth when she spotted him; he knew she did, because she froze for a moment before getting herself together and straightening. "Spencer," she said. Of course, he couldn't hear her over the top of the line stereo…but he read her lips. Her head flung around again as flashing blue lights came into the picture, and she quickly made her way out of the street to the sidewalk with the other women following suit. Ashley, of course, had had to be dragged against her will.

Spencer walked up to Emily as Derek made his way to Garcia. "How drunk are you?" Reid asked.

Emily grinned. "Me? I'm not drunk at all." She pointed to herself. "Designated driver."

Reid frowned. "This…is…how you…dance sober?" he asked.

Her smile widened. "It's why I only slow dance." She lowered her voice to a whisper. "What do you think, Doctor Reid? Wanna come back to my place and…slow dance?" she asked.

Reid swallowed past the lump of desire in his throat. "I—"

"We got a complaint that there was excessive noise coming from the middle of the street," the police officer interrupted. Reid had nearly forgotten he was there.

"Side of the street, actually," Penelope said, getting out of her car after having turned the stereo off.

"Several people called concerned about the 'drunken women' disturbing the peace," he said sternly.

"Actually," JJ said, stepping off the sidewalk to run interference as she'd spent many years doing for the BAU, "We're drunken FBI agents."

The officer, who had to have been fresh from the academy, frowned. "FBI?"

"That's right," Ashley said loudly as she approached JJ's side.

"I got this," JJ whispered.

Ashley squinted so she could read his nametag. "Officer Lusty," she said.

The young officer grinned, obviously taken with the blonde bombshell in the little black dress in front of him. "Officer Locksley," he corrected her.

Ashley put on a perfectly practiced pout. "I can't call you Officer Lusty?" she asked.

The officer laughed nervously. "No, you…you can," he told her.

She smiled coyly at him. "You wanna…cuff me?" she asked. "Take me down the precinct and book me? And then take me home and fu—"

"I feel dirty just watching her," Derek commented.

"OK, that's enough," Reid interrupted, stepping forward to rescue his friend.

Penelope grabbed his arm. "You gotta let her do what she's gonna do," she said.

"What about the buddy system?" Reid said.

"I don't think we're the ones she wants to buddy up witht," Penelope said softly. "And you know what? At least we got a look at this one. We don't have to wonder who she went home with this time."

Reid nodded as he sighed and stepped back up onto the sidewalk. It was hard watching his broken best friend lead her life the way she chose to...but that was it. It was her choice.

Ten minutes later, they watched Ashley ride away with the young officer, waving enthusiastically from the passenger's seat.

"Nothing like a sexy blonde to distract a police officer," Emily said dryly.

"Tell me about it," JJ and Penelope said at the same time with matching grins.

No one noticed the scowl on Derek Morgan's face.

"So, it looks like we're back in business," Penelope said loudly a little while later with her spare tire on and ready to go.

Emily quickly turned to Reid. "So…what do you say? Slow dancing at my place?"

Reid grinned. "I like that idea," he agreed.

"OK, I just have to get the girls home, and then I'll meet you there," she said, then grinned saucily as she stood up on her tiptoes. Once again she lowered her voice to a whisper. "And then maybe we can play doctor."