Chapter 2
Two days later
"Damon, I want her home. She belongs at home."
"I know Jenna but I can be with her all the time at my place. You work and Jeremy has school. You are both welcome at the boarding house anytime, you know that."
"Yes, you can be with her but so can Katherine and Stefan. I don't want her around that crazy bitch and I'm not too fond of Stefan at the moment." I don't even know why I bother to argue. This is Damon after all. He can talk his way in and out of anything.
I hear Jenna tell Damon as her voice seethes. I now know who won the argument. Damon. And Jenna knows the truth.
"Again Jenna, I know but it would be easier to have her at my place. Stefan and Katherine are both invited in your house need I remind you. You don't have an endless supply of bl.."
"Stop. Uggg, Damon fine but I'm only agreeing because I will not put her in a home."
"That's not an option. She's going to wake up and the last thing you want is for her to think she was abandoned. I can't lose her." The way his says those last four words stop what I'm about to say. The words break my heart even further.
"I know. Why do I get the feeling that if you did you lose her things would be bad?"
"I would be bad." His eyebrows furrow and I can tell he believes what he's saying, he really thinks he would be bad.
"Damon..."
"No Jenna. It's true. All the good in me everyone keeps talking about it's all because of her." He says like his very fiber of his being is attached to her. Attached to her survival. I decide not to press any further. He's on edge and Ric says that a Damon on edge is not a good Damon.
"The doctors say she needs more time to heal. That this is her body's way of doing it. What if they are wrong?"
"Doctors are wrong about alot of things but not this. She's been through alot. She likes to suprise people when they least expect it. Hate to burst her bubble but I already know she'll be fine. I'm sure as soon as she wakes up and gets oriented she'll be yelling at me for trying to sacrifice myself. She'll want to make sure everyone is fine and see them too. She will want to apologize to you and explain everything and tell you why she did what she did. So she should be as close as possible."
"You know her so well." I say with a little bit of amazement in my voice. Too well for being his brothers girlfriend. I always knew they were friends but I didn't realize how close they were.
"I'll have the room set up next to mine and I'll get her the best care. You don't have to worry about the cost." Of course he deflects, even I know that's what Damon does best.
"Why are you doing all of this Damon?" Jenna asks as she wipes the tears away from her eyes. Everytime I see her she cries. Normally crying has me running away from it, women are emotional wrecks when they cry that much and what guy wants the brunt of it? But not with her. If anyone deserves tears it's Elena, she's that good and that pure. Compared to me she could be a saint.
"Because she fought for me when no one else did. She was always on my side or sticking up for me. Now it's my turn."
"I was so wrong about you, Damon. I'm actually glad. Thank you. For saving her. For being here. For taking care of her. For..."
"Enough. This is getting way to emotional for me. I get it your thankful. You can buy me a drink at the grill later." I tell her handing her a tissue and she gives me a light laugh.
"Deal."
"I'll be back to see her later. I have to go meet Barbie, then she's going to come stay with Elena tonight and I'll see you at the grill, say seven?."
"Ric and I will be there. Bye Damon."
I'm going to live with Damon? Seriously? Where the hell is Stefan? None of this seems real. I still don't understand why I can't wake up. Im here. I feel healed... almost, my head still hurts. Jenna is actually going to let me live with Damon? Not that I don't trust him, I trust him with everything I have. I wish I was going with them. Damon and Jenna drunk, god only knows what kind of trouble they can get into or what kind of fun they'd have. I can see them dancing around or trying to sing with the music. I want to laugh at the thought, it's a good one. I like that Damon and Jenna are friends. Maybe this wasn't all for nothing. I did help Damon after all, everyone was fine. Even if it meant my life. The thought made me sad now. Not long ago it didn't matter but now I wanted to be there. I wanted to be around this new Damon. He was so much better than he gave himself credit for and it was there all along. He just had to let it be and not try to hide and ignore it. He now had a life, a good one at that and friends. I wanted to see it and I wanted to see my family and my friends. I wanted to be with all of them, I missed them. I wanted to see Bonnie and Jer having a good time with out having to worry about something. I wanted see Ric and Jenna fix things. I wanted to see Caroline go crazy with her planning prom and see how Tyler was doing. There was so much I wanted to do but no matter what I was thinking all I could see was Damon's face. Why? How I ever could have thought that dying and leaving them would have been the right answer is beyond me. I wanted to live. Would I? I hope Damon is right. I need to wake up.
"Hear that Elena? You are going to live at the Salvatore Boarding House. Taken care of all the time. We will all still be close to you. I owe Damon so much. Your life. If he wasn't there...I'm not even going to think of it because he was. Boy do you owe him a thank you. Ric sends his love. So let me fill you in on some gossip. Jeremy and Bonnie are dating. Did you already know that? Most likely. I'm the last to find out everything but at least I find out. I'm not mad at you Elena. I get that you did it to try and protect me. You always were wise beyond your years. Your parents would be so proud of you, for how strong you are. Keep fighting and know that I love you. We all do, Jeremy, Ric, Bonnie, Caroline. I think Damon does too. Did you know that? There were times that I just thought you guys had this fllirting thing going on but it's more. I always thought he was your typical player but whatever you did to him, I'd like to know your secret. Stefan let me down, he let you down. I don't know why. I thought he loved you, maybe he does, maybe he just skrewed up. If you forgive him I'll try to forgive him too. You always were smart so I have no doubts that you will make the right decission, the one that best suites you."
"Jenna the nurse needs you at the desk to fill out more insurance papers."
"Sure. I'll go grab us some coffee then Jer."
"Sounds good."
"So Elena, your going to live with Damon? Crazy, huh? I could imagine the two of you really living together, when you wake up I mean, it would be like a battlefield. Damon being smug, you calling him out, fighting because you both think your way is right. I know you love Stefan, but I think that Damon loves you more than he does. Maybe you don't but you haven't seen either of them lately. I'm not just being biast, Damon and I are friends but I'm just calling it like I see it. Damon doesn't lie, Elena. If you can hear me or remember what I'm saying when you wake up, remember that. Everyone misses you. I need you to wake up. It's not the same with out you. I don't care that we don't have the same parents, like I told you before, you'll be my sister forever. I love you."
Next Day
"So Elena, your comming home with me today. Jenna is signing you out. There's something I need to tell you before we go though, we have eavesdroppers at home. Don't be mad, okay? I don't even know if you can hear me but I need to tell you because I need you to know that I still need you here. Maybe you just need to hear it. I took something from you Elena, I should have never said it the first time but im going to say it again, I gues I'm that much of a masochist. I told you this the night Stefan and I rescued you from Rose and Elijah. I wish I didn't have to make you forget but I did because I couldn't let you carry that around with you. Im telling you now because I almost lost you and I don't know how to live with out you anymore. I'm going to repeat it word for word because I never lied to you and I don't want to take anything away from it. What I'm about to say is probaly the most most selfish thing I've said in my entire life. I just have to say it once, you just need to hear it. I love you Elena and it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you. Why you can't know this. I don't deserve you, but my brother does. I didn't deserve you then and I don't dererve you now but neither does my brother anymore. I shouldn't love you but I do. You are everything I don't deserve. You are pure and your all heart, you see the good in me, you make me feel human and I'm not. I miss it Elena, almost more than anything. You are that almost. I miss you, Elena. You make me feel everything I haven't felt in over a hundred years. I'm scared to lose you but I'll wait how ever long it takes for you to wake up. We all know how long I can wait and how stubborn I am. Hell I searched for Katherine for over a hundred years. Although you both declared that 'it will always be Stefan'. I want you to know that this has nothing to do with her. You are you. You were never and never will be her. Who I am now is because of you. Because you saw something in me, you had this trust and faith in me that I never deserved. My point is I've never found someone who I needed, you are that person so, yea, remember that. It will always be you."
He holds my hand in his, squeezes it and raises it to cheek and holds it there. My heart breaks at his words and then I feel something wet fall onto my hand and then another. Tears. Never in my life did I think I would live to see...more like feel Damon cry. I feel tears burning in my own eyes. I should be angry that he compelled me but I can't find the anger anywhere in me. All I feel is sadness. Damon and I fight, it's what we do, we hurt each other. It's masochistic but it's us. I thought that he was the only one doing the hurt in our twisted non-relationship but it's been me too. I used the fact that he cared about me, even though I do care about him too, to my advantage. All I want is to open my eyes and tell him how sorry I am. Tell him he's always been the better man, that I need him too, that Katherine was wrong to think so little of him. That maybe Katherine didn't choose him but it doesn't matter because he never deserved her. I never wanted him to get hurt, I never wanted him to die. I needed him. I needed to tell him he would be okay without me. Dammit! I tried to force my eyes open, to move my hand but nothing.
Boarding House- Later that night
"Do you know how hard it is to be alone with you with Damon hovering? Remember that day when I told you Damon loved you and you said he didn't even know what love was? This is how Damon loves, that was how Damon loves. He's so mad at me because I didn't protect you like I should have, hell I'm mad at myself. I had to try and convince him that maybe if you heard my voice you would wake up, that you loved me enough but I don't think you do. You don't need me to wake up. I saw your face when Klaus was ready to kill Damon, that's what gave you that extra courage to pull out the dagger at that point. Even though you knew it might not end well, you had to save him. You more than care about him Elena. I don't want to let you go. I want you to be with me. But I have to tell you something. I tried to save Katherine, that's why I didn't save you. I couldn't choose but Damon did. I don't know why it was so hard of a decision but I'm so sorry. I want you to be okay. I want you to wake up. I need you to be okay. I love you. I'm so sorry, Elena."
He doesn't touch me. He doesn't sit down by me. All I know is that he stands near me. He says some harsh truths. He couldn't choose. Bastard. How could he? He was suppose to be the brother that wanted nothing to do with Katherine. It was suppose to be us but it wasn't. Not anymore.
Stefan and Katherine. The thought makes me sick.
Maybe Damon did love me. He was selfish, arrogant, egotistical, a killer, but he was caring, loyal and honest and so much more. And he choose me, when it came down to Katherine, who he tried to find for over a hundred years, and I.
"Times up Stefan, she didn't wake up."
"Who made you the boss?"
I want him out, Damon. Make him leave. Please.
"I did. You never wanted to make the calls before, you don't get to start now."
"I did what she wanted, Damon."
"You didn't save her."
"I know that. You remind me everyday. Don't you think I feel bad enough?"
"No. I don't St. Stefan. You always get the girl. You always get a free pass, everyone loves you. Your the good brother. Not this time. I blame this on you. Get out!"
This time I'm Team Damon. He was right. Stefan must leave because Damon comes over and holds my hand in his. It's weird how well they fit together even though I can't close mine around his.
"I'm sorry."
Why?
"I didn't want him to upset you. I shouldn't have yelled."
He did anyway. Yes, yes you should have. I would be yelling if I could.
"You'll be yelling enough for both of us when you wake up. Don't worry I'll be here to help you when you need a time out to relax."
Georgia.
"Like Georgia, remember?"
Of course. I'd never forget. That's when I first saw there was so much more to you.
"Bet you do. You had fun, even if you want to deny it."
I don't.
"I'll take you there once you wake up."
I'd love to. I needed a time out right now even though it was impossible.
"I'm going to sleep in here with you, not with you, Elena, get your mind out of the gutter."
I can pracitcally hear him smirk. I wish I could see it.
"I'm sleeping on the couch. Now that I finally have you here with me, no matter how long it's for, till you wake up and hate me again, I'm going to relax knowing your safe. You will always be safe with me. Goodnight, Elena."
A light kiss on my forehead.
I always knew I was safe with you. I could never hate you, although I hate to admit it.