Title: Like a Diamon
Character(s): Shana, Rose, Dart
A/N: I feel like I am on a roll. My second update in less than a week. With two other one-shots half finished. Other ideas lined up. So here is some Shana angst. I actually liked her well enough, so I felt I should display that. Through angst. Because that's what I'm good at.

She didn't like to think of herself as a weak person. Surely, despite not quite having the physical prowess as Rose, or even Meru, she could still consider herself a reasonably strong woman. She had her moments of self-doubt. Persistant thoughts that would hound her into the night and hinder her sleep. However, she knew her way around with a bow. She knew how to heal. She knew how to not cry and give up when something hurt.

So why was she always holding everyone back?

Why was everyone always pausing in their journey, an admittedly serious and important one, over a need to rescue her in some fashion? To dote on her in some manner?

Did this make her weak? Did this make her selfish? She wanted to stay by Dart no matter what.

But it just seemed like no matter what included not only personal sacrifices, but sacrifices on the parts of everyone in the group. Did that make her a weak link? And if so, why would she be chosen to be a dragoon? Why would everyone continue to support her without hesitation, when she should, as the healer, be the one doing all of the supporting?

Gloved hands curled on the balcony as the stars glittered above her. Behind her she heard footsteps. It was nothing to be concerned with, there was a party nearby after all. So she ignored them, hardly in the proper mood to enjoy the festivities. Until they came closer and she saw a familiar navy bodice enter her vision to the left.

Rose turned and pressed her back against the railing, tilting her head to view the heavens. Inky black hair spilled over her pauldrons, highlighted by the leer of a shining moon. Shana admired the smoothness of her pale face and the grace of her stoic features and wondered what it would take to become a woman like this. As if reading that thought, Rose turned her head to regard her now elegantly dressed companion. Shana dropped her gaze, feeling mildly chastised.

She had always been satisfied with herself growing up. Was this really the time for self-pity? They had more important things to worry about and, in addition, she was supposed to be enjoying herself at a party. One thrown just for them. She felt guilty thinking of all the work put into this. A feast and dancing. All in the castle itself. But here she was.

"Have you seen Dart yet?" Rose's soft voice broke the silence.

Startled Shana stumbled slightly on her words. "N-no." She looked away again.

"..."

A quick glance showed Rose to have a faint frown on her face. A subtle sign of displeasure. At what?

"Rose?"

The dark eyed woman looked back to her. "You should enjoy this downtime. We will be back on the road shortly." The frown deepened. "It would be costly if you faltered since you are... necessary."

There was an awkwardness in the other woman's voice that didn't quite suit her, and which stunned Shana to silence until Rose had already reentered the building. She spun to question her, ask her what she meant by that, but found that she was busy, stopped before a maid with a serious look on her face. So she fell back and leaned over the balcony again, looking down at the houses, looking up at the sky. She was wringing her hands, she realized, and quickly stopped, lest she wrinkle the garments that had been loaned to her.

Necessary.

What could someone like Rose mean by necessary? She closed her eyes against the confusion and tried not to think. To relax. To not falter so that she would not, once again, be costly. She vaguely registered low voices in the corridor as she lost herself in many not-thoughts. Footsteps approached her again, heavier than Rose's. She recognized them. She reluctantly turned.

Dart's breath caught in his throat as he took her in and she wondered why.

"You look beautiful..." He trailed off, seemingly unsure of himself.

She smiled weakly and gestured at the delicate gown she had been slipped into by Libria. "Thank you. But... it's all thanks to this dress."

"That's not true." He protested, stepping forward.

A flicker from above called her eyes to the sky. A falling star dove towards some distant ground and she couldn't help but exclaim over it, her mind a jumbled mess of wishes for the future. To stay with Dart. To become stronger. To love and be loved. For everyone to live on and find their own happiness after everything was settled. One silk covered hand was brought to her breast as she turned to Dart, feeling elated, terrified, and everything in-between.

But then his hand was on her cheek and his face was tilted down and... and... his lips were hardly smooth or soft. Chapped and rough, rather, from his many years of training and travelling through the wilderness. But it was just like him. And her baby-soft face and gentle hands and neediness was just like her. Necessary. Because that was just... what... it was.