Thanks for all the reviews! I completely expected to get this up before today, but I ended up starting over twice because I couldn't decide where I wanted it to go; I had hoped to get it up before the weekend but I didn't finish and then went out of town! I'll try to get chapters up within a week or so now that I know where I'm going with this story, but I am a student intern...which means I work full time for no pay and have to work side jobs for something to live on lol, so I'll try my hardest! The story will pick up some pace as I get out of this stage, I have some ideas on where it's going now! Thank you for reviewing, and if you have any suggestions I'm open to any ideas, or constructive criticism! Please continue to read and review!

Elle

Chapter 2: Coping

Lily's funeral was a blur. So many people wanted to come and pay respects to the mother who gave her life for the "boy who lived," but James insisted that it be a private, friends and family only ceremony. People offered their condolences, and James politely shook hands, not really taking any of it in. He was surprised to see Vernon and Petunia Dursley, with a small boy in tow, in attendance; but was pleased they felt enough toward Lily to pay respects at her funeral. He was able to hold it together as he saw her, as though sleeping, lying in the casket. He opted not to let Harry see her; the boy wouldn't understand, and would want his mother to wake up if he saw her. He let himself run on autopilot the entire day, not paying attention to any of the speakers or the service, until it was finally time for everyone to leave and he could spend some time alone with his son.

November 3. Three days since that awful, fateful night. James paced the living room of Sirius' small flat, humming softly the tune that Lily always sang to get Harry to sleep. Oh, how he missed her. It didn't seem real; at any moment she was going to walk through the door, a smile on her face and a kiss for her boys. But she wasn't; she wasn't ever coming back. That much became more real to him upon seeing her beautiful sleeping face in the casket. He'd lost the love of his life the night he became a single parent; and not to just any child, but the "savior of the wizarding world." The hero that conquered the Dark Lord. It didn't seem like that, though. No matter what the world said, right now Harry was just a baby that lost his mother; and James a man that lost his wife in a terrible, tragic way. At the moment the downfall of Voldemort just didn't seem real. What was real, was the breaking of James' heart as he tried unsuccessfully to comfort his child that had been screaming for his mummy for the past 5 hours. James never was good at getting the baby to sleep. Lily just had the "magic touch," Harry screamed his head off for Lily the few times James ever attempted to get the boy to sleep, until Lily relented and came to his rescue. Now, she couldn't come to his rescue. His poor baby had finally fallen asleep on James' chest, but the moment James sat down or stopped moving the child woke up. Hence, James' 4am stroll around the living room. Sirius and Remus were angels during this awful time; both doing everything they could to lighten the burden for James, but Harry clung to James. And truth be told, James couldn't let go of him, either. James wondered how much Harry understood. He seemed happy enough during the day; but at night he went crazy for his mummy. James wished the baby was old enough for some kind of sleep potion. Finally, past exhausted, James lay down on the couch, positioning the baby on his chest, and for once Harry didn't wake. James fell quickly asleep, which was how Sirius found the two of them when he awoke an hour later.

Sirius walked into the living room after a fitful night's sleep. He was always a late sleeper, but at 5am he could just not stand lying in bed any longer. He heard Harry up all night, crying; he tried to take over several times, let James get some sleep; but neither of the Potter's would leave the other so Sirius went back to bed. He was glad James was finally able to fall asleep, but Harry was positioned precariously on the edge of the sofa. Sirius very carefully pried Harry from his father's chest, successful in not awakening the tot, he put him in the playpen in the middle of the room, before coving each with a blanket.

Sirius quietly strode into the kitchen, and made a pot of coffee. He sat down to read the Daily Prophet, which was covered in different articles about the downfall of Voldemort. Tons of death eaters caught, sent to Azkaban; a few celebration parties fined because they had been too rowdy in the muggle world; a picture of the Potter family and an article on Lily's death and Harry's survival. Still not a word on Peter. Sirius, with Remus' help, had gotten up the nerve to tell Dumbledore about their animagi adventures all these years; and Peter's most convenient disguise. Still, there were thousands of rats in the world; and while they knew Peter was among them, they had no way of knowing where he was. They'd just have to bide their time; Peter would come out eventually, and when he did they would be ready.

At that moment, the fire roared and Remus stepped through, looking tired and disheveled. The poor man didn't find out about Lily until the day after; having been running with the full moon that night. Since then though, he spent all his time with Sirius and the remaining Potters, being of what little help he could be; only leaving to sleep. He, himself was still in shock at the betrayal of Peter; as well as still struggling with the guilt of having suspected Sirius in the first place. He would have to get over that now; it did no good. He'd gone home to sleep, but sleep didn't come much. He spent the night worrying about his friend, and when the hour was reasonable enough to go back to Sirius' place, he did just that…at 6am. He helped himself to coffee, pouring Sirius a cup as well, and joined him at the table.

"Anything?" Remus asked, as Sirius put down the paper and took the cup of coffee.

"30 death eaters arrested, that's something," Sirius replied. "Still no sign of Peter, but he's a wanted man now. I still think we should make known his disguise, but I suppose Dumbledore has his reasons."

Remus nodded, understanding. "Dumbledore doesn't want the world in an uproar, scared of rats, does he? But he can't stay hidden forever, can he? Our main focus has to be James and Harry. I don't think Peter's dangerous without a strong leader…he never could think for himself, could he?"

Sirius nodded, "That's the truth; still, with any luck a nice cat will find him, and we won't have to worry," he stated before adding, "course, I guess I'd like to know for sure when he is gone."

The two talked quietly for some time, before they heard a whimper from the living room. Sirius quickly and quietly went to retrieve Harry from the playpen, carrying him into the kitchen.

"Let's let Daddy rest for a little while," he told the child, and to his surprise, Harry didn't object but settled into his godfather's arms. Remus summoned a bottle of milk and some oatmeal as Sirius sat down with the boy on his lap, and began feeding him. Harry was momentarily happy; babbling away as he ate his oatmeal, and making faces at his godfather. The two Marauders couldn't help but laugh at the innocence of the baby.

James woke up and stretched close to 10:00, neck sore from his position on the couch. He was momentarily on alert upon noticing his son wasn't in the room, until he heard the babbling from the bathroom. He headed in that direction, finding his son in the tub, splashing at Remus who splashed right back, both laughing. James smiled at the sight of his fellow Marauder soaked and covered in suds, compliments of his smiling green eyed baby. No matter what, James had to make this OK for Harry. He was so thankful the little boy was still alive, and it was his job to love, protect, and cherish the little boy that his wife gave her life for.

"Dada!" squealed the baby upon seeing the man in the doorway.

"Hey Pup!" James said, squatting next to his baby and kissing him on the head. "Are you getting Uncle Remus all wet?" he asked Harry, who laughed and splashed his daddy in response. Yes, James decided, Harry would be OK. James would see to that.

Six weeks had passed, and James still thought about Lily every moment of the day. Harry still cried for her occasionally, but not as frequently. While James was glad, at the same time he wanted Harry to continue to long for her; to never forget about her. He would see to it that the boy would never have to wonder about his mother. He would always know how much she loved him. Overall, the routine was settling in. With Remus and Sirius' help, James was able to get through day after day in relatively good shape. He knew that living at Sirius' flat couldn't last forever, but he couldn't think about moving out just yet. It was still too soon to think about being on his own with Harry. Sirius had gone back to work, but Remus spent nearly every day with the Potters; unable to find regular work due to his condition. James was thankful for this; the busier he could be kept the more he was able to hold it together. James had received a letter the previous day from the ministry, offering his old job back, the Auror position he held alongside Sirius before going into hiding with Lily and Harry. But how could he possibly leave Harry for that long? As he sat rocking Harry to sleep for his afternoon nap, he decided he would bring the subject up with Remus. He kissed his sleeping boy's scar as he lay him in his crib, before entering the living room to find the man he was looking for sitting on the sofa reading the paper.

Sitting down across from him, James sighed, causing Remus to put down the paper. "No problems falling asleep today, I take it?"

"No," James chuckled, "he's all tuckered out, the trip to London did him in, but it was nice to get out for awhile."

"You've been cooped up here for too long, I think we should try to go out more often, it's good for both of you," Remus agreed.

James hesitated, not sure if he wanted the man's opinion, afraid of what he'd say; but he knew he needed an opinion besides his own and now seemed as good a time as any. "I wanted to talk to you about something on those lines, actually," James said, as Remus perked, looking interested. "I got a letter from the ministry," James pressed on, "they offered me my old job back. I'm hesitant, though. I'd like to get back to work, have a change of pace and actually be doing something to fight back for what was taken from me, but I can't imagine leaving Harry all day," James admitted, and continued, "he has to come first, and we have enough to live on for now. I can afford to take a little more time. I'm leaning toward turning it down, I just wanted to know what you thought."

Remus sighed, silent for a few minutes, deep in thought. "If you want my opinion," he finally said, looking up at James, who nodded for him to continue, "it might seem too early for you, and I know how hard it'll be to leave Harry, but the sooner you can get him back into a regular routine the easier it will be for both of you. You have enough to live on for now, but not if you want to buy a house; and you know this flat is too small for you to be raising a growing boy in." James nodded in agreement, about to speak again when Remus continued. "You have to do what's right for you, and if you feel like it's too soon, then wait. I'm just saying I think it would be good for you both to continue on with your life. You can't live the way you are now, you have to do something. Lily would have wanted you to, don't you think?"

James nodded, but was silent for a few minutes. Remus was right, he knew it, but he still couldn't imagine leaving his son all day. "I don't suppose she would have," he answered his friend, "she would have wanted me to raise him as normally as I could. And being an Auror, it would be doing something to fight back; even if it doesn't lead me to Peter, I would be doing something against the dark side that split apart my family. I just can't imagine leaving him."

Remus nodded his understanding, feeling the same way about fighting back, and hating that he couldn't do more; but he could see that being there for his friend was helping in a big way right now. "I'd be happy to watch him while you're gone, I'd love to spend time with him," Remus offered, "you wouldn't have to worry about him, and we can find someone to take him during the full moon; perhaps the Longbottoms; they have a boy his age. He'd be perfectly fine."

James agreed, reluctantly, to give it a trial period. He wrote back to the ministry that he could start in two weeks time, beginning right after Christmas; and they agreed to give him a month long trial period before agreeing to anything more permanent.