Disclaimer: I do not own Wildfire or any of the characters from the show - no copywrite infringement is intended.
From my bed I hear the argument between Junior and Matt. The heated words, the finality of Junior's parting sentence, and yet I don't draw attention to myself. I continue to appear to be sleep, all the while trying to come to terms with the truth. Honestly I don't know what I would do awake anyway. I can't stop the pain Junior is feeling, nor put up a fight to Matt's words. I'm lost in my own dreams and desires, so alone sometimes that it seems I won't ever truly be myself again.
Matt has been my friend for years, sometimes it seems like we have always been friends, even before I met him. I understand his anger, his resentment at the relationship that has been thrown in his face every day since I got back together with Junior. I knew that Matt would never forgive us, not completely anyway. Matt is happy with Dani, they have shared numerous years, memories that were collected in their youth, things that build couples. However the bond that Matt and I have will always be there, simmering below the surface, a what-if in the twilight of our years. Because of that feeling that I still possess for him, and the relationship we could never fully commit too, I will understand his anger at Junior, his anger at our relationship forever, even after we both are married and happy with our significant others.
"Kris, I don't know what to do anymore. I'm scared that I won't see that look in your eyes anymore, that you won't return to us. I know you, and I know that whatever you saw in your dreams was so perfect, was so you that returning to this half life doesn't make much sense. But I am hoping that you will allow me to try. I have an idea that you may not like, but I'm hoping that you will believe in me like you have so many times in the past. I want to make your dream come true. I know you are asleep and not really listening right now, but I think we can do it. You are going to get better, you are going to ride Wildfire again, and we are going to get married. I promise you this. You once told me that it had always been me, but Kris it has always been you too. Everything, ever since the first minute I met you, ever since the beginning, it has always been you. And I know it is my turn to prove to you that reality is better than dreams. Kris, I love you and I want to see smile light up a room again, and I want us to be happy together," Junior kisses me lightly on my forehead before exiting the room.
On the bed I am crying, tears rolling down my cheeks. I never in million years wanted him to think I didn't love him anymore. He is the reason I am still here, still trying to understand what happened. But I can do better, and I will. I will make him happy; I will smile again and love him like I have every day since I met him. Dreams are meant to stay hidden, they are meant to stay in the night and maybe even the best dreams shouldn't be held onto and treasured into the daylight hours. I can move past this, I can focus on getting better and living. With Junior by my side I can do anything.
A/N: Sorry it has taken me so long to update – I have been moving. I am almost all settled in, so the next chapter should be coming soon, but no guarantees.
I know this is not my best chapter, not a lot of dialogue, but I think Kris' thought and emotions were necessary to the story. The next chapter is back to Junior and his idea… any thoughts on what that might be?
Reviews make me happy, so please review. I like all comments, so don't be afraid to tell me what you really think. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed to date – I appreciate you all!