I hadn't planned on making this more than a one-shot, but since you guys were kind enough to read it and review it and didn't want it to end that way, I was more than happy to oblige. Thanks for your time and your kind words! : )
She sat her desk pretending to be engrossed in the file in front of her while sneaking glances up to Hotch's office where both JJ and Garcia had entered about 10 minutes ago. She could see them sitting in front of his desk, heads slightly lowered and eyes down and she hoped they were just embarrassed and that he wasn't reading them the riot act. After another five minutes or so, both women exited his office and promptly headed toward their own offices. A few minutes later she received a text from both of them one right after the other, asking her to go to lunch. She quickly responded that she'd meet them by the elevator at eleven and went back to work. At approximately 10:55 AM, Hotch called her up to his office. She grabbed her purse and quickly made her way up the stairs, stopping just outside his office, poking her head in the door and knocking lightly on the opened door.
"You wanted to see me Hotch?" She asked, wishing more than anything that he did want to see her.
"Yes, come in." He said without looking up.
"Sir, I've got lunch plans and I'm going to be late. Can this wait until I get back?" She asked and had to bite back the smile that wanted surface at the expression on his face. Lunch was such a foreign concept to him that he often forgot that people took them.
"Of course, I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was that time already. Just come see me when you get back." He apologized.
"Are you sure, because I can cancel if you need me for something?" She asked.
"No, it's fine. Enjoy your lunch." He said and went back to work
Feeling somewhat disappointed she walked away from his office. She didn't know why she felt disappointed. He'd made it pretty clear that he wasn't interested in trying to work things out with her, but she guessed she'd hold out hope until one or both of them were otherwise attached. She stopped at the elevator and stood beside JJ. They stood silently waiting for the elevator and when the elevator arrived, made the ride down to the parking garage in the same uncomfortable silence. By the time they were seated at their table at their favorite lunch-time getaway she couldn't take the silence any longer.
"Listen you two, it's okay. I appreciate what you were trying to do and I hope Hotch didn't come down on you too hard." Emily said and watched the tension drain from the faces of her two friends.
"He didn't. It was just really uncomfortable sitting there listening to him discuss aspects of his personal life he'd never willingly share with anyone, but felt like he had to in order to get us to back off and mind our own business. We're really sorry Emily. We already apologized to him for putting him in such an uncomfortable situation. Can you forgive us?" JJ asked.
"There's nothing to forgive. It was sweet and well, your devious little plan did work. I was ready to kill him for moving on so quickly." Emily admitted with a hint of sadness.
"Oh see that right there, you're upset. Hotch said you were very upset last night and that you were doing fine before we dredged all this up again. We didn't mean to get you so upset. We really thought you two just needed a little nudge. We're so sorry." Garcia apologized.
"It's okay you guys really. I wasn't doing fine before last night, I just let him believe that so don't feel guilty." Emily told them.
"Do we need to hire someone to break his legs?" Garcia asked.
"I'm afraid you'd have to hire someone to break my legs. It was my fault we broke up, not his. I think the reason I got so upset last night was because even though he tries to hide it, I could see how badly I hurt him and now there's nothing I can do to fix it because he's not interested in fixing it." Emily told them, the memory of the pain in his eyes making her emotional and causing her to tear up.
"You love him." JJ said confidently.
"I care a lot about him JJ, we all do." Emily said.
"No, those tears in your eyes aren't about caring about him, those are the tears of a woman that is in love and can't stand the idea that she hurt the person she loves." JJ challenged.
"I don't know Jayje, I'm getting kid of teary-eyed myself and I'm not in love with Hotch." Garcia said.
"Yeah, see." Emily argued.
"That proves nothing. Garcia is emotional and takes everyone's pain personally and I'd expect that reaction from her, but you aren't like that Emily. Have you told him how you feel?" JJ asked.
"It wouldn't matter JJ. I ran him off and he just wants to move on and I can't say that I blame him." Emily said.
"Wait, so he told you he loved you and you didn't reciprocate?" Garcia asked.
"What? No, I mean, it's more complicated than that." Emily tried desperately to dig herself out of the hole she was slowly burying herself in.
"Jayje that completely makes sense. That's what Hotch was talking about." Garcia said.
"Why would you do that? I mean if you didn't feel the same way that's one thing, but why would you be in love with a man who is in love with you and not share those feelings with him?" JJ asked.
"I don't know. I think I was just scared, but like I said it doesn't matter. We're done." Emily sighed.
"Emily, this is Hotch we're talking about. If he knew that you loved him, that you're hurting as bad as he is, he'd be willing to take another shot at making it work. God Emily, he sat in his office and told us that you needed and deserved more than he had to offer, that you cared very deeply for one another but that the love necessary to sustain a relationship just wasn't there. I think I'm going to cry now." JJ said and relaxed back into the booth, arms folded over her chest.
"What did you do that caused the break-up?" Garcia asked.
"It's a long story, but basically I got impatient and when he kept refusing to let me be around Jack and kept refusing to let Strauss know we were in a relationship, I guess I got scared he wasn't really as invested as he claimed to be and gave him an ultimatum. We either stop being secretive and he lets Jack know about me or we're done. In case you were ever wondering, Hotch doesn't do ultimatums." Emily explained and huffed lightly.
"Well, that's not completely unreasonable Emily. I mean he couldn't expect to keep the secret forever." JJ said.
"He didn't want to keep it secret forever. We agreed in the beginning that if we were still going strong after six months we'd tell Strauss and the team and then we'd start working on Jack. You know I don't even think he really needed the six months as much as he just needed a commitment from me." Emily admitted.
"Em, you really need to talk to him about this." JJ suggested.
"No. Guys, please don't be mad at me. I never meant to hurt him and believe me, I am hurting as much as he is, probably more. I've never felt the way he made me feel and it unnerved me I think. I have no good excuse. I just went into stubborn, my way or the highway mode and chased away the kindest, most decent man I've ever had the pleasure of knowing, but what's done is done." Emily said sadly.
"We aren't mad at you Emily, but you can't give up. You have to tell him how you really feel." Garcia pleaded with her.
"No, Hotch is right. We're moving on so you two need to do the same." Emily said.
"But.." Garcia started to argue.
"No buts. Come on let's order some lunch." Emily told them.
Emily had been back at her desk working for nearly an hour when she remembered that Hotch had wanted to talk with her. She slowly climbed the stairs to his office and once again knocked on the door.
"Come in." He responded without looking up.
"Do I need to close the door?" She asked.
"No, it's nothing like that. That was quite a lunch." He remarked.
"Oh no, I'm sorry. I've been back for awhile. I just forgot I was supposed to come see you." She said the nervousness in her tone not going unnoticed by him.
"Are you okay Emily?" He asked.
"Why wouldn't I be?" She asked.
"I don't know, but you're clearly nervous about something. Is it because of last night?" He asked.
"No, yes, I don't know. I'm sorry. I didn't sleep much. I think I'm just tired. What did you need?" She asked.
"I need you to go to Alabama with me. Maldana Hayhurst, mother of six, showed up at the Birmingham police station this morning covered in blood. The blood is human and of more than one type and the children are missing. Local FBI have already started a search for the children. They want us to come down, assess her and hopefully get her to tell us what happened." Hotch told her.
"Good cop, bad cop?" Emily asked.
"I don't know. We'll need to observe her for a bit and see what the best tactic is, but I've done enough of these to know that I'm going to need a female presence regardless of what tactic we use." He said.
"This sounds pretty serious Hotch. Why aren't we already there?" Emily asked.
"The local sheriff went pretty hard on her, got her pretty riled up. She had to be sedated. She should be alert, fed and ready to talk to us by this evening. The children are most likely dead Emily, we just need to get her to tell us what she did with them." He said.
"When do we leave?" She asked.
"I'll meet you on the plane at four." Hotch said.
He found her sitting alone at the bar in the restaurant that was attached to the hotel they were occupying for the night. He slipped in beside her and pulled a menu down in front of them.
"I'll have a club sandwich and a glass of whatever you've got on tap. Emily?" He asked as the person behind the bar waited patiently.
"I'm not hungry Hotch. I'll have another one of these though." She said, tapping on her empty glass.
"How many have you had?" He asked.
"Not nearly enough." She mumbled.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, nodding at the bartender as she placed a beer in front of him and another bourbon and water in front of Emily.
"Thanks, but I don't think it would help. I just need about 10 more of these and the image of those six beheaded children might at least become a little blurry." She sighed.
The bartender set the club sandwich down in front of him. He took half and slid the plate with the other half in front of her.
"Eat. That's an order." He said.
"Hotch, I'm sure I'll throw up if I try to eat anything. I think I'm just going to go upstairs and go to bed." She said as she downed her drink and moved off the barstool.
Hotch looked at his sandwich and realized he wasn't really hungry either. He took the time to drink and enjoy the cold beer and then handed the bartender his credit card and waited for the receipt. When she handed him his receipt he handed her one of his cards with his cell phone number scribbled onto the back of it.
"What's this?" She asked.
"That's my cell phone number. If she comes back down and is drinking too much I want you to call me." He said and handed her twenty dollars.
"FBI huh?" She asked.
"Yes, and it's been a really bad day so can I count on you to do that for me?" He asked.
"Sure thing." The girl said and shoved the twenty dollars into her pants pocket.
Hotch moved off the bar stool, shoved his hands in his pockets and walked slowly toward the elevators. He wanted nothing more than to go to her and try to comfort her, but he knew they were both too vulnerable at the moment to be alone together in a hotel room, especially when all he wanted to do was wrap her up in his arms and hold her and love her until that haunted look in her eyes was completely gone. The scene had been grisly, the headless bodies of six brutally murdered children hanging by their feet in an old abandoned barn, their six little heads lined up on an old wooden tool chest, a look of terror and pain forever etched onto their innocent faces. He'd seen a lot over the years, but that was as bad as it gets and had gotten to him in ways that most crimes scenes never did, the overwhelming urge to empty the contents of his stomach had nearly gotten the best of him several times as well as the need to go sit in a corner and cry so he completely understood what Emily was going through and why she currently felt the desire to obliterate herself with alcohol.
He knew however that the need to try to comfort her was unprofessional and since they were no longer lovers he needed to act like her boss and not her boyfriend and let her work through it on her own and let her come to him if she decided she wanted to talk about it. But would a good boss go to bed knowing that one of his agents was most likely going to end up back down in the bar where any number of things could go wrong if she drank too much? Shouldn't he be able to put his personal feelings aside and go be with her to make sure she didn't do something crazy?
He continued the mental debate with himself in the elevator and as he slowly walked down the hallway to his room. He stopped outside his door, ready to insert the key card and after mulling it over for a few more seconds he took a deep breath and walked down the hall to her room. He knocked lightly and waited patiently for her to open the door. When she didn't respond he knocked louder and called out to her. Just as he began contemplating kicking the door down he heard movement behind the door and then there she was, so drunk she could barely stand. He reached in, steadied her in his arms and escorted her back into the room, kicking the door closed behind him.
"Jesus Emily." He sighed as he counted the small bottles of liquor that were now empty and lying all over the furniture in the room.
"Did you bring me some more liquor?" She slurred as he sat her on the bed.
"Did you empty the entire mini-bar?" He asked.
"Just the good stuff." She said.
"Em, you've been up here for maybe 20 minutes. Are you trying to poison yourself?" He asked concerned over the amount of liquor she'd consumed in such a short amount of time.
"I think I'm going to be sick." She moaned and tried to lie back onto the bed.
"Oh no you don't. Come on." He said and urgently pulled her off of the bed and into the bathroom, barely making it in time.
They sat in the bathroom together for nearly an hour before her stomach settled enough to risk moving away from the toilet. She was no longer falling down drunk, but was still intoxicated enough to be more forthcoming and probably needier than she would've been sober. He didn't mind. He needed to be needed by her. He helped her find her toothbrush and toothpaste so she could, to quote her, "brush away the taste of shit" from her mouth and then he encouraged her to change into something more comfortable, hopeful that she'd succumb to the affects of the liquor and go to sleep.
She exited the bathroom in a pair of sleep pants and a t-shirt. Her face freshly washed and her hair pulled back. She made her way over the bed he had pulled down for her and sat down.
"Feel better?" He asked.
"Not really. I feel like I drank too much and threw up all over my boss. Sorry about that." She grumbled and lay back onto the pillows.
"You didn't throw up all over me and don't worry about it, I think this is probably in my job description some place." He teased lightly and moved to pull the blankets up to her chin, stopping when he felt her hand on his arm.
"Is it in your job description to stay with me?" She asked.
"No, but it's probably in the friend description. I'll sit here until you fall asleep." He offered.
"No Aaron, please, lay down with me." She pleaded softly.
"That's probably not a good idea Em." He said.
"No, it's probably not, but I don't care. Please Aaron, I don't want to be alone." She said so desperately he couldn't deny her.
He slipped off his shoes and dress shirt and moved into the bed beside her, allowing her to cuddle in beside him and rest her head on his t-shirt clad chest. He wrapped a strong, comforting arm around her and kissed the top of her head softly.
"You're very drunk Emily. Try to sleep. Okay?" He said softly.
"I'm afraid to close my eyes. I know I'm going to see the faces of those babies. They must've been so frightened Hotch." She said sadly.
"This one is definitely going to stick with us for awhile. I'm sorry." He said.
"Why are you sorry?" She asked
.
"For bringing you out here, if I'd come alone you wouldn't have had to see that." He said.
"Do you ever wonder why God gives babies to people like that?" Emily asked, her speech starting to slur again.
"I think I stopped wondering about God a long time ago." He answered.
"How come we never made a baby?" She asked, not trying to be funny, in fact dead serious, but for some reason the question tickled him.
"Probably because we were being responsible." He answered with a light chuckle.
"I'd be a good mother and we would've made such a pretty baby." She said.
"No doubt, on both counts." He said and tightened his hold on her slightly.
"Would you have wanted to have a baby with me?" She asked.
"I think this isn't a discussion we should have while you're drunk. Please, just close your eyes and try to sleep." He pushed.
"Promise you won't leave me?" She asked, slowly losing the battle to stay awake.
"I'll be right here when you wake up. I promise." He said.
"Okay, good, because I love you so much Aaron and I don't ever want you to leave." She admitted, her last words before she fell into a deep, liquor induced sleep.
The sun streaming through the window woke him, forcing him to squint against its' harsh light. He looked down at the woman still sleeping soundly on his chest and wondered if she was going to feel any better this morning. He'd never seen her as rattled and disturbed as she was over this case and wondered what the lasting effects would be. He slipped out from underneath her as gently as he could, but she still woke up as soon as he was free from her grasp. She blinked at him several times, obviously confused.
"Hotch, what's going on? Oh god, my head." She grumbled and turned her face away from the sunlight.
"I'll go get you water and some aspirin." He said and disappeared into the bathroom.
When he reappeared she was sitting up in the bed, knees folded up into her body, holding her head between her hands with her face buried in the bend at her knees. She was no doubt miserable and he felt bad for her.
"Emily are you going to make it?" He asked.
"No, just put a bullet in my head and put me out of my misery." She grumbled.
"We've got to be to the airstrip in two hours. Do I need to reschedule?" He asked.
"No, I'll be okay. Just let me take a hot shower. I'll meet you down in the restaurant for coffee in 45 minutes." She groaned.
"Take an hour if you need to." He said.
"What happened Hotch?" She asked.
"What do you mean?" He asked.
"Why are you in my room? Did we…?" She asked with a hint of hope in her voice.
"You don't remember anything?" He asked.
"The last thing I remember is going down to the bar to have a couple of drinks." She said.
While he felt a twinge of disappointment that she didn't remember he wasn't surprised. He was relatively sure her confession of love was alcohol induced and not truly heartfelt when he heard it, but he supposed a small part of him was holding out hope that she wasn't as far gone as he believed she was. Apparently she was.
"Nothing happened Emily. You got really drunk and I took care of you. That's it. I'll see you downstairs." He said and left the room.
He heard the light knock on the door to his office and looked up from the file he was studying to find his technical analyst standing somewhat tentatively in his doorway.
"What is it Garcia?" He asked.
"Um, sir, I need to say something to you and I need you to listen and not get mad." She said.
"I'll listen, but I'm not making any promises about the not getting mad part." He said and relaxed back into his chair.
She shut the door and moved to one of the chairs in front of his desk, paced back and forth a few times and then finally sat down.
"Well?" He asked slightly amused by her behavior, but not about to let that show.
"I want to talk about you and Emily." She finally blurted out.
"Garcia, no, we aren't going to talk about this again." He refused, no longer amused.
"You said you'd listen." She reminded him.
"Fine, I'm listening, but I'm not going to talk about it and just so you know I'm really close to getting mad." He told her shooting her one of his patented glares.
"I can't stand to watch the two of you hurt any longer. I know she hurt your feelings, but she didn't mean to. She just got scared. She loves you sir and she's miserable and you've always been such a fair person so I don't understand why she can't have a second chance." Garcia stated her case.
"May I speak now?" He asked.
"Of course." Garcia said.
"I appreciate your concern, but you don't know what you're talking about. You can't make assumptions about how people feel based on observation." He told her.
"Isn't that what you do every day….sir?" Garcia asked.
"Touché but this is different Garcia. You could profile mine and Emily's actions, but you can't come to the conclusion that one or both of us is in love so please, this is the last time I'm going to ask, just let it go." He said.
"It's not an assumption sir and I'm not jumping to conclusions." Garcia argued.
"Garcia…." He warned, clearly annoyed.
"No sir, I'm sorry, you can fire me if you want to, but I'm not going to stand by and watch two people I care about be miserable because one is too stubborn to communicate and the other is too damaged to fight for what he wants. She loves you. She told us, me and JJ, she said she was just too scared or too overwhelmed to say it. And frankly sir, I think you're being overly cautious where Jack is concerned. She loves you and wants to be a part of your life and Jack is such a big part of your life and you won't include her and, and…" She began to stammer.
"Okay Garcia, enough. I got it." He conceded.
"Does that mean you're going to try to fix things with her?" Garcia asked.
"That means your argument has been duly noted and I'll think about it, but no more of this. My private life isn't water cooler gossip. Are we clear?" He said sternly.
"Yes sir." She said and stood.
She walked slowly to the door and just as she reached for the handled he called out to her.
"And Garcia one more thing." He said.
"What's that sir?" She asked.
"Thank you." He said.
She was just about to relax on the couch with a book when she heard the knock on her door. Sighing heavily she walked to the door and looked through the peep hole, her heart immediately racing at the sight of him. She placed her hand over her chest to compose herself and casually opened the door, her newly found composure nearly blown to bits when she saw Jack standing beside him. The look on her face was priceless and he wished he had a camera handy. He smiled at her and she backed away to allow them to enter her apartment.
"Jack, do you remember Ms. Prentiss from daddy's work?" Hotch asked the child.
"Yes." He answered.
"Can you say hello?" Hotch asked chuckling lightly.
"Hi Miss Prentiss." Jack said softly.
Emily kneeled down to his level and took hold of one his small hands.
"Hi Jack, it's so good to see you again. How have you been?" She asked.
"Okay. Um Miss Prentiss, daddy said he had a friend from his work that likes the Lion King. Is it you? Do you like the Lion King?" Jack asked hopefully.
"Do you think it would be okay with your dad if you called me Emily?" She asked and looked up at Hotch.
"Can I daddy?" He asked.
"Sure." Hotch said gently and smiled down at the boy.
"So do you?" Jack asked.
"Do I what?" Emily asked.
"Like the Lion King?" Jack asked.
"I love the Lion King." Emily said feeling a warmth rush over her as a huge smile spread over the little boy's face.
"It's my favorite and it's at the movies now and you get to wear some cool glasses to watch it. Do you want to come with me and my dad to see it?" Jack asked in an excited tone, happy to have a companion who loved the cartoon as much as he did.
Emily looked at Hotch, his face soft and gentle and his eyes as hopeful as the little boy standing beside him.
"Hmm…I don't know. Can we sing Hakuna Matata in the car on the way?" Emily asked.
"I don't think daddy knows the words." Jack answered.
"That's okay, we'll teach him." Emily told him and squeezed the boy's hands gently.
"So are you going to come with us?" Jack asked.
"I'd love to. When?" Emily asked and smiled at the boy and then up at his father.
"Now!" Jack said excitedly.
"Can I put my shoes on first?" She teased.
"You can't go to the movies without shoes Emily." Jack told her every bit as serious as his dad could be when someone suggested something ridiculous.
Emily laughed at how much he resembled Hotch at the moment, straightened up and disappeared into her bedroom for a moment, returning with shoes on her feet.
"Let's go." She said.
"Daddy, I need to pee." Jack whispered softly while dancing from one foot to the other.
"I'm sorry. May we?" Hotch asked Emily.
"Of course, it's the 2nd door on the left Jack." Emily said and pointed toward the hallway.
"Come on Jack, let's go to the bathroom." Hotch said and led the boy to the door Emily directed him to.
"I can do it myself dad." Jack said.
"Okay, but don't forget to wash your hands." Hotch reminded him as the child shut door in his face.
Hotch walked back to where Emily stood.
"Let me apologize in advance for any mess he might make in there. He's got a bad aim sometimes, especially when he's excited." Hotch told her in a teasing fashion.
"What is this Aaron?" She asked.
"This Emily is called compromise. I'm not willing to budge on the Strauss issue, but I am willing to stop denying my son the privilege of knowing you. Can you do something for me?" He asked and moved closer to her, placing his hands on her arms and looking into her eyes.
"Anything." She said.
"Can you please be completely honest about your feelings for me and your feelings about this and any future feelings about things?" He asked.
"I can do that. Does this mean we're going to try to fix what I broke?" She asked with tears in her eyes.
"I don't think it was ever broken, just severely dented. I'm willing to try if you are." He said and leaned in and kissed her softly on the mouth, pulling back quickly when he heard the bathroom door open.
Jack ran toward them and squeezed between them, taking hold of each one of their hands and looking up at his dad.
"Let's go!" He said excitedly.
Later that night after a day's worth of activities, none of which included Hotch learning the words to any Disney songs as he was content to just enjoy watching and listening to his son and the woman he loved sing the songs together, a nice dinner for three and another animated movie from Emily's collection, Jack lay sleeping quietly on the loveseat while Hotch and Emily sat together on the couch. Noticing that his son had finally given up the battle and gone to sleep, he leaned over and kissed her passionately before pulling back and pushing her hair back behind her ear gently.
"Thank you for dinner and for singing all of those silly songs with my son." He said.
"I love those silly songs and I love that I had someone to sing them with. He's a sweet kid Aaron and very well behaved." She said.
"That's just because you're new. Once he gets to know you better he'll no doubt introduce you to his not so well-behaved side." He told her.
"I'm looking forward to it." She said.
"I guess we should go." He said.
"I think you should stay, at least for a little while." She said in a seductive tone.
"Oh yeah, why's that?" He asked with a grin.
"Because I love you Aaron and I plan on showing you just how much and believe me, when I get through with you there will be no question as to just how much I love, want, and need you." She said as she stood, took him by the hand and encouraged him to stand and follow her.
He hesitated for a moment, mentally debating whether or not he should leave his little boy to possibly wake up alone in a strange place.
"Is he a light sleeper?" Emily asked.
"No, he could sleep through a train roaring through the room, especially when he's had such a full day." He answered.
"We'll leave the door open and that way you can hear him if he does wake up." She offered.
"No, that's probably not a good idea." He said and stood, offering her a mischievous grin.
"Why's that?" She asked.
"Because a train's got nothing on the screams I plan on getting out of you." He teased and kissed her again, pulling her close and eventually allowing her to lead him into her bedroom hopeful that their new beginning would lead to many happy tomorrows.