CHAPTER 3

'The Mortician'

It was sunrise when Lydia awoke to birds chirping and sunlight beaming in her eyes she moaned and turned over pulling her blanket's over her with her pillow over her ears to drown out the sound of birds, and the sunlight ever so depressing her even further. Back into sleep she goes in another nightmare about death and suffering.

Meanwhile BeetleJuice was awake and ready for a new day. He was eating he's Beetle Crunch cereal with some BeetleJuice sludge to wash it down with. Smiling and snickering on what planes he had today to screw with people. Until on he's table he saw that card the mortician gave him.

"Oh ya, I almost forgot. Though I'm not sure I want to bone her anymore. I can't stop thinking about that kiss I had last night with Lydia."

He went over by he's phone about to pick up the phone then stopped and flapped the card against he's hand second guessing.

"I could somehow get more info from her or con her into getting back that implant for me I would just die to get my hands on. All the horror he could do to he's enemies and control them and steal their powers and their life force. Made him smile. He picked the phone back up.

"I just wont tell Lydia." Then dialed her number.

Meanwhile Lydia's Dad knocked on the door awaking Lydia from aslumber.

"Hey pumpkin are you awake?"

"I am now. What is it?"

"Just wanted to make sure you were still alive in there, it's after noon honey."

"Oh, like I care, please leave me alone in peace. My mother is dead for crying out load. If people really cared they'd stop asking me questions and badgering me and leave me alone to mourn in peace. Okay dad?"

"It's not healthy to be cooped up all day long in bed dear. You need someone to talk to. Maybe you should come downstairs and talk about this?"

"What are you mom now. You sure starting to sound like her?"

'Oh stop with the attitude, I was just thinking and saying what your mother would say if she was still alive."

"Well she's not, it's annoying me. Leave me alone."

"Fine pumpkin if that's what you want."

"It's what I need. Some peace and quit just like you always wished from, well you finally got it since mom's gone and me alone in my room out of your hair no one to annoy or bug you ."

"Oh stop you're your sarcastic rude remarks. I'm leaving. Go ahead back to sleep and sleep away the rest of your life away. Whatever. Bye!" Off her Dad goes into he's library to read a book in peace and quit room.

Lydia gets out of bed goes to her mirror and summons BeetleJuice.

"BeetleJuice, beetleJUICE, BEETLEJUICE!"

Puff he appears in a puff of smoke.

"Hey babes! Feelin' better?"

"Now that you're here."

"Lyd's I need to ask you for a favor."

"Sure, what is it this time BJ?"

"The mortician gave me her card to talk about some unusual circumstances to your mothers death and she wants me to help out by being the eyes, ears, and noose sort of speak the watch Dog because she thinks I'm so close to your family, I promised her I wouldn't tell, I almost didn't tell you."

"Why not just tell me or my Dad?"

"She's not allowed to because of the FBI's involvement. There's more to this story but for now it's just her theory and she needs my help to prove it and doesn't want to cause alarm for you or chuck."

"Well what do you want me to do to help?"

"I need a ride there."

"Well Even though I'm eighteen I was too depressed to go to drivers training class and I can't get Dad to take you but I can spare you some change for the bus ride."

Lydia goes to her change jar and gives him two dollars in change.

"Thanks Lyd's."

He goes off alone to meet Christina the mortician.

When he gets there the crazy lady is already awaiting him sitting down on the porch stairs smoking a cigarette and wearing very short sluty outfit making her look like a cheap whore like BeetleJuice enjoys.

BJ goes up to greet her with a smile on he's face.

"Hello you do madam."

"Hello BJ Welcome. Boy do I got a lot in store for you today."

"Well lookin' forward to it." BJ replied.

She leads him in to the mortuary where some dead bodies lay covered by a cloth.

"So you wanted to show me dead bodies?"

"No, what?"

"It's a surprise. Close your eyes."

Christina puts an empty cart behind BJ and then goes in front of him and takes a yellow golden rope whip out of her bag. She pushes him down. Making he's eyes going wide in shock and she takes her golden whip of fiery glow and whips it around he's bady and the cart bounding him.

"What the fuck is this lady?"

"You just been conned, con man."

"Fuck! What do you want?"

"Well it's some information I need from you. You see I know your real name and who you are but what you don't know is that I'm a bounty hunter from Hell assigned from the Devil himself. This one is a free bee I took an interest of you and want something that use to belong to you when you were alive."

"Well it's long gone and buried Miss."

"Wrong! See I'm also the Demoness of fear and one of my talents is that I can suck the life force from people who are scared, I can feel what you fear the most and make it happen while draining your life force into me, keeping me alive. That's what I had to do to Lydia's mother. To trick and trap you here where I have you where I want you and you loose no matter if you tell me what I want to know because if you don't you either parish forever or I'll Kill Lydia and the rest of her family your choice BeetleJuice and yes I know If I say your name three times puff you go back to the Netherworld. Well the place I can take you is way hotter then that. I can strip you of your ghoul body and dissect your body of all your organs and burry them until sundown you die parish into an essence or Hell wondering threw flames for all eternity craving and missing the body that will be gone forever. Deja'vu BJ? Only this time Lydia isn't here to save you. I can also try to scar you to death and consume all your powers and essence making me stronger but I couldn't possibly scare you BJ the all mighty ghost with the most, of what cum?"

"Very funny psycho old hag! What you need to know. I will tell you."

"Great! First I want to know where your old dead body rotten corpse is buried?"

"Oh, that's it, oh fuck I thought this was going to be important for a second but you do seem more of a stupid blonde then me so…."

BeetleJuice told her the location of he's body but wouldn't tell he writer though, so for more information, go into a dim room with a magic mirror, light a white candle in a red glass holder look into the mirror and summon BJ with these old words of evil….

"…Although I should be wary, still I venture someplace scary, ghostly hauntings I turn loose, BeetleJuice, BeetleJuice, BEETLEJUICE!"…."

Then ask him yourself but in order to do that you need to know the beginning of Lydia's summoning spell which he wouldn't tell me either. So guess…

Now back to the story!

"Thanks now you must tell me where your buried treasure is. Don't ask me how I know. Tell me now or suffer? Your choice. I know from what they say you are very greedy and would never even in death say where you treasure is. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"So has that changed or are you still as greedy. To greedy not to tell me to save your friends life as well?"

"I'm still greedy but not enough that I will risk hers or my soul. I will tell you but you gotta tell me why this is so important to you?"

Well BeetleJuice also told her the where abouts of he's treasure yet he would not tell me he's writer and worshipper and lover of he's be-deviled soul…..sorrow…..

"Thank you BeetleJuice. Now before I summon you back to the netherworld I will tell you why like I promised but there's a catch. If I tell you I have to keep you wound in bound in this golden whip of hell until I finish my task that I'm about to do. Deal?"

"Wouldn't your whip be lost in the netherworld with me."

"If I succeed I wont need it any more. I can go back home to my castle in Hell."

"As one of the Devil's whores right?"

"Fuck you! Tell me what your choice is?"

"Tell me."

"Dumb choice but I'll tell you."

"I have the power to resurrect the plague that killed you from your body while resurrecting your body partially zombified enough with-out your soul of course to fuck it infecting me with the plaque I will fuck and kill all Mexicans and foreigners here in America and the border sending them the plague will hit and mutate in me so fast they will be to late to cure them with any anti-biotic medicine. Then America will do the rest for me. They will think the foreigners brought it over to our country. It will be like notsy Germany all over again. They will Kill and eradicate the rest of the world and anilate all the foreigners until all that's left is America trying to fight off the disease foreigners all ready in their country, they would have to nuke the other countries that I will infect as well. For my name is Plague and I'm the daughter of the Devil and I will finish what I started back then and all will be dead. As of course the treasure I will take back to my Hell's castle with me as a trophy. For but of course I'm a girl who is a sucker for pretty shinny gold. Muha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

"That's the stupidest plan I have heard. That wont work. I wont worry. Except the fact you may never to return to unbound me with this golden cord Is the only thing I'd be worried about. It may take all eternity to carry out your plans before you can get back to me. Well I guess this is bye, bye loser!"

"Oh I'm not going to loose. I will win BJ. I can do that. Don't worry you will because before I send you back I will show you what I can do darling. To make sure you lie there helpless while your precious Lydia and the rest could be dying of the plague which killed you and millions of others. Armageddon all no thanks to you and of course the master mind me."

"Oh shit!"

Christina unfolds the cloth over the other bodies revealing their still alive, putting one next to the other, keeps their gag on and takes another diseased dead body right behind them.

Christina looks into the eyes of one of her victims and asks what is it that you fear the most.

"Spider's." He's mind whispers to her.

She makes him see gigantic spiders eating at he's flesh but it's all an illusion but the more he feared it the more he felt it even though no one saw it he's skin seemed fine but not to him. He tried screaming but he was gagged, she slowly drained him of he's life force went into her like a ball of fire. Leaving him but a look a terror imbedded into he's face. She took that life force and resurrected the dead diseased body then when the body was half life zombified she took he's hand and grabbed the other healthy human hand and he died in disease very fast then the other victim then the fourth. They were all dead in some nasty grotesque disease mutated times 100%.

"Oh hell no! Oh shit! Oh fuck!"

"Oh hell yes BJ. Thank you. It's too bad you can't be my alley we could have made a great team. Too bad Lydia softened you up. I almost can't recognize you anymore. Your almost a goodie two shoe. The ones who con all the time. Too bad we could have had a lot of fun. Though I guess your not evil any more…"

"I am to!"

"You could have fooled me BJ. Though you could prove it to me."

"I don't need to prove nothing' to you bitch! Go back to hell with your horned God. May Beelzebub bite you on the ass whore!"

"Hmmm, I already bit he's ass. Any way you could re-deem your evil by helping me kill everyone including your friend. No more living people to have to put up with any more. No more fruits of life or vegetation or organic possessed human shit. All destroyed. All that's left are the souls of heaven and Hell and all in between, the netherworld. Don't worry nothing will happen to you though. Right, because all you care about is your self. You couldn't possibly love a human like Lydia could you? No, not an evil basterd like you BJ? You have nothing to be scared of now do you? Or you do? I guess your not so evil after all. They say you use to be a bio-exorcist, you wanted in fact you wished for everyone to die. Now you will get what you wished for finally once and for all. Happy now BJ?"

"Fuck you!"

"Gladly!"

"I don't bio-exorcise any more. I wish I never have wished that. I'm wrong."

"Why, because of Lydia? You fool. Men are such fools falling in love with women when they hold them back from being so much more of evil then they can be. Do you really think she's worth saving this petty world she's in. That she must complain about all the time and how she wants to die but you couldn't kill her. Why BJ. What happen to you? Maybe one day the Devil will have you evil as you once were and you'll reign in hell with us but for now. I will leave you bound. Once death and destruction has been unleashed and Lydia dies I know the evil in you will be unleashed and I and The horned God will win BJ are should I say Beelzebub? The bug king."

They say when he went into hiding that he took on another identity. Could that be you BJ? Are you the real lie hiding behind the biggest con of all? Beelzebub, I could have sworn you'd be the perfect son of Lucifer just like Beelzebub. Hell I miss him. Your so much like him. If your not I wish you'd meet him. He would have loved you. I can see the resemblance of the Devil in you."

"Too bad you worship the wrong Devil. Rather Beelzebub then the horned God of gayness!"

"Oh how funny, very much like Beelzebub. Maybe your hiding him. He's lover, best friends. Is that how you really got all your evil power or is it like the story they told me of the green energy ectoplasm you consumed? Maybe it made you more powerful but really did you make a deal with him. Protect he's evil vegetation of zombies for him are you. Afraid the horned God would over power Beelzebub, that he ran away or is he dead. Tell me BJ before I summon you away?"

"Fuck you!"

"Well played BeetleJuice!"

Poof he's gone in a flash back to the netherworld bond and tied up in bed.

"Shit!"