Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary: Isabelle is being followed by a certain vampire. But when her stalker saves her life will she learn to be grateful, or will the consequences lead her into a world of dark desire?
rustsandchocolates: Thanks so much :D
anonymous: you know where I'm going with this? And I thought I was being so sneaky ;) Thaaaankks.
Thanks for all the reviews from last chapter, sorry for the long wait . . . Enjoy the chapter (I hope) . . .
. . .
Haunted
"Lost 'til you're found, swim 'til you drown,
Love 'til you hate, strong 'til you break,
We all fall down . . ."
- All Fall Down by OneRepublic -
Chapter 8 | All Fall Down
"I- I don't . . . I don't understand . . ."
Maryse Lightwood is stuttering.
"I don't understand Isabelle!"
Maryse Lightwood never stutters.
The walk home from the Dumont Hotel had passed in silence – Maryse charging ahead, Alec and Robert in between, Isabelle lazily bringing up the rear. Occasionally her brother would glance over his shoulder at her, tossing her a pointed look, but Isabelle had chosen to ignore him, hanging her head and fixing her gaze on her black boots.
When they got home – that was when all hell broke loose.
Maryse had barely made it into her study, the others following in her wake, before she started screaming.
Isabelle tried to explain what had happened the night that Raphael had found her – how he had saved her life – and, for a time, her family had listened. But Maryse never was very good at listening to what she had to say and Isabelle had long ago lost hope of her father ever being on her side.
"How could you do something like this, Isabelle?"
She is sitting alone on the leather couch, twisting her hands anxiously in her lap – her mother paces the room furiously, her father and brother lingering awkwardly by the door – but her mother's words make her sit up straighter, sparking an anger inside her she didn't know she was holding on to.
"Accepting the blood of a vampire . . ." her mother hisses to herself.
"How could I do this?" Isabelle has to yell to be heard over Maryse's muttering, "Sorry to disappoint mum, but I was dying, I didn't exactly have much of a choice!" she ignores the warning look Alec sends her way.
"That's not the point!" Maryse continues her pacing, "The point is that you went behind our backs and continued seeing him."
Of course. Make this about you.
"That wasn't my fault!" ("Nothing ever is.") "Raphael's the one that won't leave me alone. He keeps showing up!"
Not entirely true.
"Then you should have told us. Ugh!" her mother puts her hands on her hips, gripping so tightly her knuckles turn white. Isabelle wonders if it hurts; she has never seen Maryse lose control like this.
"Why? Why did you get involved with Raphael in the first place?"
There is a brief pause.
"So you're saying you'd rather I be dead?"
Perhaps Maryse doesn't mean for her words to sound that way, but that is how Isabelle hears them.
Maryse stops dead, an incredulous look crossing her features.
"What? Th- that is not what I said," she says through gritted teeth, trying (and failing) to keep her voice low.
Isabelle doesn't have the same concern.
She stands up, prepared to storm out of the room, but she is saying her next words before she can stop herself.
"Well that's what it sounded like!" Maryse is still staring at her in disbelief, Alec shuffles uncomfortably by the doorway, but Isabelle doesn't stop.
She takes a deep breath, lowering her voice before continuing.
"I know you think Raphael's dangerous and I know you don't like him – hell, I don't even like him. I won't go near him again, but the fact is he saved my life. No matter what he is, he saved my life and for that I'll be eternally grateful . . ." she trails off, thinking that she would never say any of this to Raphael himself and with a worry that she's already said too much.
Her last words come out a whisper.
"Not that you seem to care about that."
And with a last look at her mother's stricken face Isabelle makes her escape, brushing Alec off when he reaches out a hand to stop her. She half-walks, half-runs to her room, fighting tears the whole time.
. . .
Oh Isabelle, you handled that really well.
She is unsurprised to find that the voice in her head is not her own.
. . .
Alec finds her later, though Isabelle is unsure how much time has passed since they came home. All she knows is that it has been a while since she heard the tell-tale slam of the front door, meaning her parents had gone out.
She is in the kitchen when he finds her – unsure about how she got there too – and she just has enough time to subtly wipe the wetness from her cheeks before he sits down beside her.
She doesn't dare to look at him.
"Isabelle," his voice is soft and soothing, though laced with disappointment and Isabelle almost cries again because the sound is way worse to her than if he had just started yelling.
This is exactly what she had wanted to avoid.
"Why Isabelle?" he groans, as if the words cause him pain to say them. He is using her full name – never a good sign.
"Well," she begins, but her voice is so thick she has to swallow back the lump in her throat and try again, "Well, I was close to dead you see, didn't really have much of a say in the matter-"
"No," there is an edge to his voice now, "I mean, why didn't tell me? Me, your brother, why did you lie?"
"Because I knew how you would react!"
Alec lets out a quaky breath, "And how is that? What did you think I'd do, Isabelle? Yell? Never speak to you again?"
"No!" Isabelle bursts, leaning away from him, and she is close to tears again, "I knew that you would react exactly as you are now – with that condescending Big Brother tone of yours and that look of disappointment in your eyes."
"I am disappointed-"
"Exactly! And I hate that. And that's exactly why I didn't tell you," she is yelling again – she has done too much of that today.
There is a frown forming on Alec's features, "This is a little more serious that what I may or may not think of you right now Isabelle-"
"Not to me."
"Ugh, you just don't get it do you?" he says, frustrated.
"Get what?"
And that is when he says the last thing Isabelle had expected.
"What about Max, Izzy?"
She tries to ignore the way her heart clenches at the name.
This is unknown territory. The Lightwoods aren't exactly known for talking about their feelings and they've hardly spoken aloud about Max in the months since he died.
"W- what about Max?" Isabelle manages to choke out.
"For weeks, months, after he died you blamed yourself, said you should have been there, protecting him."
Her voice is tight, "What does this have to do with anything?"
"I need to protect you!"
One moment Alec has jumped out of his seat, face aflame, voice loud, expressing more emotion than Isabelle has ever seen from him and then his face falls, jaw slackens, a spark of regret shining in his eyes as if he wishes he could take the words back – or at least wishes that he hadn't yelled them.
Isabelle doesn't mind. She is awed, never having seen Alec look or speak about anything so passionately as he is right now – unless Magnus is in the room and then it is for a decidedly different reason.
Alec doesn't look disappointed in her anymore.
Finally, she understands.
For weeks she has been childishly avoiding her brother, dodging his questions, leaving when he entered a room. She couldn't stand the shame of ever telling him about Raphael, but now she gets it – he should have known.
Isabelle wonders how she would feel if the situation were in reverse – if Alec had been fed the blood of a cunning vampire who had then proceeded to stalk him at any given opportunity.
(She tells herself that it does not matter how charming and intriguing said vampire may be – not to mention gorgeous. Raphael is still a sly, conniving asshole and, even if Hell were to freeze over that wouldn't change.)
Isabelle wants to say that she would be understanding. Hurt? Yes. Betrayed? Possibly. But understanding.
She wants to say that she would realise that her brother had lied to her for a reason and accept the fact.
She wants to say that, but she knows it is a lie.
Truthfully, she'd want to find the vampire responsible and kick their ass.
She supposes that her and Alec have similar protective instincts, though he seems to be handling the situation far better than she ever could.
Protective. He has that part right.
Alec takes a deep, calming breath before continuing.
"I need to be able to protect you Isabelle and I can't do that if you lie to me."
"Okay," her voice is a whisper.
"You promise you won't lie anymore?" he steps closer.
"I promise."
"And you won't see him again?"
"I won't."
"Good."
And then he does something that they hardly ever do. He steps forward and envelops her in his arms.
He clean scent is familiar, like peppermint and he has grown since the last time they hugged like this; for a moment Isabelle feels like a child in his arms.
"I just want you to be safe," Alec whispers.
". . . I know."
. . .
She lied.
And for that Isabelle hates herself.
She had told Alec that she would not see Raphael again, and she won't but she has questions. Questions only he can answer.
Or at least that is how she justifies visiting him to herself. Some part of her just wants to see him: one last time.
Isabelle ignores the voice in her head which asks why.
It is still dark out and, after parking her car some ways away, Isabelle charges through the deserted streets near the Dumont Hotel, determination clear on her face.
Along the way she wonders why there are never any humans around the area, before deciding that that is probably for the best.
The hotel looms over her when she arrives there – looking not half as ominous as it had when she was here mere hours ago.
But it is not the hotel that has changed since then, it is her – now fuelled by anger and a fire in her gut.
A fire Isabelle has every intention of aiming at the vampire who is the cause of that anger.
Isabelle gives the hotel's familiar oak doors a swift bang with her fist, watching as the wood rattles in its frame.
No answer.
Politeness has never been her forte and after Raphael's show of "punctuality" earlier that evening, Isabelle keeps banging until someone answers.
Eventually they do. The girl looks around Isabelle's age – not including vampire years – with dark skin, a sharp contrast to her pencil straight, white-blonde hair. She is tall and unhealthily slim (Isabelle thinks that they are similar in that respect).
The vampire's eyes are so completely devoid of emotion that she appears to be looking through her – Isabelle wonders if she even notices her at all.
"I need to speak to Raphael, now!" she snaps, surprised when the girl appears unsurprised to find a ranting Shadowhunter at her doorstep, mouthing off demands. Her expression doesn't change, but her eyes flick over to Isabelle's face, finally seeing her.
For a time the vampire just looks at her, but then she steps back and, without warning the door is slammed in Isabelle's face. The wood gives a loud groan of protest and Isabelle huffs in annoyance, raising her fist to knock again.
Before she can, the door swings open.
He is standing there, and he is smiling.
"Isabelle? Back so so-?"
"Shut up!"
He appears more shocked than smug at her outburst, a feat Isabelle revels in.
"I need to speak to you, alone," she casts a weary glance at the hotel before taking Raphael by the wrist (a little tighter than necessary) and dragging him outside.
Isabelle is not sure what surprises her more – the fact that she is voluntarily touching Raphael or the fact that he is letting her.
Or perhaps how warm his skin is.
She pulls them to a stop outside of the barn they had talked in earlier and faces him, fury blazing in the depths of her brown eyes.
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Whatever do you mean, Isa-?"
"You know exactly what I mean," he smirks when she points a finger at him, "Do you make it your personal mission to piss me off?"
"Isabelle-"
"One minute you're telling me not to tell anybody about us-" Isabelle flinches, but the last word is already passed her lips, "and then you're telling my family all about it. What is up with that?"
Raphael doesn't answer – just looks at her blankly – surprising, considering that he always seems to have something to say.
"Well?" she presses.
"You want the truth?" ("Yes!") "I was bored. Does that answer your question?"
Isabelle doesn't even stop to consider that he is lying. It doesn't answer her question, but it does succeed in pissing her off.
In a move that surprises even herself, Isabelle grabs the front of Raphael's shirt and yanks him towards her, ignoring the voice in her head that warns her how close they are.
"Stay. The hell. Away from me," she bites out through gritted teeth.
Raphael grins down at her, "You know, if you were anyone else I probably would have killed you by now."
She answers with a glare.
"Why are you really here?"
"To put you in your place," she warns but, truthfully, she doesn't have an answer for him.
"Or did you just want to see me?" his tone is smooth and low as his hands come to rest over hers, still clinging to the fabric of his shirt.
Raphael's eyes dart from her face to her mouth and back again and, for a moment, Isabelle thinks that he is going to kiss her; she mentally slaps herself when she thinks that, perhaps, she wouldn't mind so much.
Isabelle jerks away.
"Don't flatter yourself," she says after a pause, "The exact opposite. I came here to make sure that I never have to look at your smug face ever again."
And his face is smug.
"Oh, I'll stay away from you Isabelle, the question is . . . can you stay away from me?"
He looks almost curious, a slight frown creasing his forehead – a frown to match her own.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
Raphael breathes a dramatic sigh, "Don't be a fool Isabelle. I'm not the one who came to you today . . . twice. You like seeing me. You seek me out."
"Me?" she asks, incredulously, "What about you? You're the one who followed me around for weeks after the . . . Pandemonium . . . incident," she struggles to find the words, recalling the night they had danced together in that insufferable mundie club, but he ignores her anyway.
Raphael takes an intruding step towards her.
"I'm not the one doing the chasing Isabelle," a fire blazes in his eyes as he looks down at her, "not anymore."
And oh, shit because maybe, just maybe he's right.
She thinks back, to all the times they have seen each other in the few months since this all started.
The first time she saw him after he fed her his blood, in Hodge's office at the institute. Maryse had summoned him, that wasn't Isabelle's fault – but it wasn't his fault either.
The first time she'd dreamt of him. That wasn't her blame, it was the blood in her system. Wasn't it?
She'd summoned him after the car incident, and asked him to meet her in the park. I'd been the instigator in all of that, she thinks with horror.
And earlier today, with her parents and Alec – she didn't have to come, she could have refused.
The dreams. The voices. Oh, the voices.
Raphael hadn't known a thing about them until she'd told him and he and Simon had made it clear that the blood should be out of her system by now.
So what if he is right? What if she has just been seeking him out all along.
"Admit it, Isabelle," there is an almost playful edge to his voice, "you need me."
She is speechless.
With no idea of what else to do, Isabelle turns and runs, into the night, back to her car . . . away from him.
Raphael does not follow.
The whole drive home Isabelle tells herself that he is wrong – she doesn't need him.
It's what she tells herself, but it feels like a lie.
. . .
Raphael smiles to himself when she's gone. He isn't bored – far from it – but he had to get her attention somehow didn't he?
He wants Isabelle Lightwood – all of her – more than he's wanted anything in a long time and now . . . she won't be able to stay away.
End Chapter.
. . .
A/N: So, first of all, SORRY! This chapter is ridiculously long overdue but I haven't had time to read, never mind write fanfics lately. I could bore you with excuses but I won't. Thanks for being so patient.
So, I think there's been enough of creepy, stalker-ish Raphael for one fic, don't you? From now on he should be . . . well, not nicer . . . lighter, yeah . . . lighter . . .
How did you like Alec in this chapter? He's one of my favourite characters in the books but I'm not sure I've got him down just yet.
So I'll cut this short and just say thanks for the reviews, favs and alerts I've been getting – it means a lot.
I've already started the next chapter so it should (hopefully) be out soon-er. And I might be making a few changes to the first chapters, nothing big, just refining them so that they fit with where I've decided to go with this.
Thanks again and have a great day :D