7

Jealous, maybe wasn't the feeling Floyd had running through him. He certainly wasn't crying his woes out onto his cheap motel pillow. Stressed might have been the right word to use. Deep down he didn't give a damn if Spencer and Sam played games when he was unable to give his full attention, but they could at least pretend not to be messing around behind his back. If they were going to mess around he wanted it as a floor show. He'd pay good money to watch if it was done honestly.

Dishonesty made Floyd angry.

Though he was perhaps one of the most dishonest people on the planet, he still loathed to see it in others. It was almost as though it took some of his own crap and deflected it and took it for themselves. Really would Spencer act in such a sluttish way if Floyd hadn't spend neigh on two decades grooming him to be exactly the way he was. The sweet innocent, shy, socially awkward young man in public and a total whore in private. That was for Floyd's pleasure and he needed to remind them both of that. As for Sam? Well… Sam looked as though he was stepping out of the room to have a smoke in the fresh afternoon light – he was only partially dressed and there would be complaints and Floyd guessed that they'd all be arrested for having sex with an underaged boy.

'Sam… get dressed properly if you're going out. The whole world might want to see your beautiful arse, but I'm feeling oddly possessive right now.'

It was a good point and one that Spencer nodded at… in his smug I would have said that way. The sooner they had the privacy of the house the better. Though Floyd didn't think that they'd be there long. His dream of finding somewhere perfect seemed to drift with the seasons. They'd certainly not be there this time next year and he was realising that this had been a mistake. A mistake that he'd never admit to, but if he didn't do this with his boys he'd have to do it alone and leaving his boys behind wasn't on the agenda.

Trust seemed to no longer exist.

Not just the trust between the pair of them, but their total inability to stay loyal to one person for longer than the blood rushed in their ears. Floyd realised that he'd created, not the wonderful three way love pact he thought he was heading for, but a tangle of bitching, cheating, mistrust and loathing. He needed them both at his side without question but now… too many thoughts of if … would they die for him? This was Floyd's burning question. Sure Spencer had maybe done that in the past, but Floyd's own death by Iolanda overshadowed every small and large sacrifice Spencer had ever made, and Sam never once had done something self sacrificial for him. The furthest Sam would go was to put on a pair of pants that had an arse in them.

Yes… Floyd was sulking. He felt he had a right to and was not going to apologise for it, but he certainly wasn't in tears.

That night Floyd slept with Spencer. Sam slept alone in the tub and yes Sam was sulking and yes Sam felt pushed out and angry, but Floyd had picked him up and thrown him in the bathroom and told him to stay there until the morning. Spencer maybe looked as though he was going to object, but he wavered, stood back and eventually ignored Sam's howls of protest. This was something he would have to answer to later, but for now he had some of Floyd's attention.

Spencer felt that childish pang of exhilaration that he'd won the prize for the night and he knew it was childish and he knew that it was unfair and that he should speak up for Sam, but the thought of the tides changing and being the one forced to spend the night in the bathroom whilst Floyd hammered Sam was too much of a risk. Spencer's selfishness won through. And why the hell shouldn't it? Floyd was his. He had been his for a long time. Long before Sam showed up and stirred the pot. The major disappointment on Spencer's behalf was that once Floyd had wrapped his arms around him and once he had pushed back onto Floyd and the fingers hand massaged his chest and shoulders… Floyd actually did something very rare and fell asleep. The joy of having Floyd still there in the morning was dull and empty as the man he thought he'd won off Sam was snoring lightly and breathing heavy sleepy breaths over the back of his neck.

Today they were going to move into their new house… Spencer would rather be packing up and going to Vegas but as that was out of the question – for now – he lay on the bed and listened to that steady heavy breathing and actually found it annoying. He wanted to get up and use the bathroom and have a coffee, a smoke, a walk in the morning air, but dare he move from Floyd? Carefully he slid out from the sleepy embrace and put the kettle on before going to the bathroom where Sam also was still sleeping fully clothed in the empty bathtub. Spencer did what he came into the bathroom for and stood for a short while just looking at Sam and wishing that things were different and that they could truly all get along and it wasn't all about goal scoring and who could get the most attention from the man they both wanted so much. Sure he liked what he was looking at, but he liked what was sleeping out there on the bed so much more that there was hardly a comparison – even if he'd not got what he'd hoped for the night before. Spencer had a quick shave and left the room.

Floyd was awake and sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands and so Spencer sat down next to him and put a possessive and protective arm around his shoulders. He half expected Floyd to push him away and be annoyed, but he didn't. He didn't particularly accept the embrace either, but not being pushed away was a good start to the day. Spencer thought that Floyd would burst out into a lecture or whine about something but he sat in silence and Floyd's silence bothered Spencer more than a lecture or a slapping.

'You seem troubled.' He finally asked Floyd.

Floyd gave a small shrug and pulled his head out of his hands and turned to look at Spencer. 'I was hoping, foolishly, for your co-operation on this.'

Spencer gave a frown and nodded. 'You were right to hope that. Of course you have my co-operation. Why wouldn't you?'

A shake of the head this time and Floyd pushed Spencer's arm off his shoulder and stood. 'This is a task which to me is important. I don't feel that same urge within you. Actually I feel that you have great reluctance. You've shown no interest in the house. Yes we went shopping for things but real interest? No. I spent a week looking over the paperwork, sorting things out so that they'd be perfect for you… you more than for me or for Sam… and you spent that week frolicking around with Sammy-boy. That gives me the impression that you don't give a shit. To be honest I wonder why I even started this. I thought it would be fun. It was a gamble. It's not paying off is it?'

Now Spencer stood too and grabbed Floyd by the shoulders as though to shake him and make his brain start forming proper thoughts and not this self pitying blather which was coming out of his mouth. 'You gave no indication that you wanted my input. When have you ever asked my opinion on matters like where we live? You take total charge and control over it. How was I meant to know that you wanted my opinion? Sometimes, Floyd you make me feel like I'm battering my head against a brick wall! I thought you wanted space to sort things. Why not ask if you needed input?'

Floyd swung around, breaking physical contact between them. 'Pack your bags and wake Sam up.' He moved towards his own bags and began stuffing his clothing in. 'I'm not your father.' Floyd snapped. 'Wrong choice of words… I mean I'm not your parent. I shouldn't have to reprimand you for transgressions. I shouldn't have to keep my eye on you. I should trust you not to run off with the first fag you see when my back is turned. I have devoted years of my life to you. Guiding you, protecting you, helping you… keeping you from dangers when I can. I've nursed you, wiped your arse and got you anything you wanted. Now show a bit of fucking interest in what's going on. Sam… Sam… Sam is a fickle creature who cannot form real bonds and attachments. He will run to anyone who smiles at him and hands out the candy he's after. He's disloyal and untrustworthy. He's got the manners of a pig and the needs of toddler. Leave him alone.'

Oh, Spencer was cross now. Spencer could feel his face was glowing with the flow of blood rising to his brain. 'You have devoted twenty years out of an eternity to me. You've lied to me, hurt me, twisted me… given me everything I shouldn't have. I've devoted most of my life back in return. I've always been here for you when you call. I've never wandered away from you if you want me near you. Yes I might have… I might have had fun in other places when you're not around but in return I've covered up for you. I've lied to my friends for you. I've washed the blood off your clothes and asked no questions. I've given my self to you totally and fully. I accepted your bond… all you need do is ask and I'll hand my life over to you and you damned well know that. You know! How can you stand there and say that I don't appreciate what you've done! I couldn't have coped with my life without you being there and I know that and I and so grateful for that that I don't have words to express that. This house though… it worries me. I'm not excited about it. I'm not looking forwards to moving in there. It's where some really nasty things happened because someone tried to summon something. You really think I'm happy about moving in there and making that place my home?'

'Well you could have fucking well said, but you'd rather play your stroking games with Sam. Teasing the creature and one day you'll take him beyond his barriers of resistance and he'll take you like the animal he is, biting you on the back of the neck to placate you. Don't mistake my sanguine appearance as of late as anything other than total sanguinary. You have angered me Spencer. You try to make a fool out of me. Well if you no longer want to be here with me then go, but you will leave the dog with me. He is not yours to mess with unless I have given you leave.'

Spencer threw down the bag he was holding and then kicked it towards the door. 'This conversation would have been more useful at the beginning of the week. Maybe when I was talking to the police and trying to get Sam out of the trouble he'd caused. No you're not my parent thank god, and you are not Sam's either as it happens, so you can stop with the lectures and the fatherly advice. I don't need or want your expert reasoning. What more do you want from me but everything! I can't give you more than my whole self and that's yours and you know that and it has been long before Sam came into the picture. This new house might be rising your blood and making you feel ready for a fight, but it doesn't do the same for me I'm afraid. I'd rather not go there. I'd sooner be somewhere else and if you can't see that then you're blind and arrogant. I have put up with far more than any man would put up with… you don't treat me like you love me. You don't tell me that you love me unless you're shouting it in anger. You never hold me and just love me for the sake of loving me. But I'm the fool, because I'm still here. Still! Still here trying to get it through your arrogant thick skin that it is you I want. You… not Sam… not some whore I might pick up because I'm feeling frustrated and lonely, but you. Only you. It's always been only you. It will never be someone else.'

'OK.' Floyd picked up his bag. 'Go wake Sam.'

'OK?' Spencer fumed at Floyd. 'OK? Is that all you can say? You know I'm right! You know!'

'Aren't you always?' Floyd placed his bag next to Spencer's but for now kept his back to him. 'Go and wake Sam.'

'No. I want a proper response to my accusations.' Spencer moved in behind Floyd, placing his hands around Floyd and on his hips. There was no attempt from Floyd to pull away, but he slowly turned and looked at Spencer's red flushed angry face.

'I love you when you're angry.' He kissed Spencer gently on the lips. 'You look so beautiful. Your lips seem to glow and that extra sparkle in your eyes…'

'You wound me up to make me angry?' Spencer now wanted to pull away and start shouting again, but Floyd had a hold of him by the belt.

He spoke softly to Spencer. 'No. I meant every word I said, but that doesn't change the fact that you are at your most beautiful when you're either screaming in terror or angry. I'm not shouting at you now. I'm calm. Everything is calm and I do love you. This will never be the ideal relationship, but I think that you could have had that with Hotchner if you'd tried. You don't want that though. You don't want peace and security because you thrive off the heat and the anger and the fear – the adrenaline rush.'

Spencer nodded slowly. 'I might take up hang gliding or free falling. It's got to be less dangerous.'

'Aya… now please go wake up Sam and tell him that our new adventure is about to start and Spencer, I'll make sure that nothing gets you. No monsters under the bed or in the cupboard, but you must be at least slightly curious and excited.'

o-o-o

There was no mistaking that when Floyd put his mind to something that he did it with perfection. At least that was Floyd's opinion. The house was absolutely gorgeous. The floors highly polished wood reflected the light beaming through the windows. It was light and airy and any fear that Spencer had that it would feel oppressive and cold and demonic was unwarranted. It really was quite remarkable. They dropped their bags in the hallway with the stairs leading up in front of them and Floyd placed a hand on Sam's shoulder. 'I've fitted you up with your own place. There's a lounge area for you and even somewhere to cook.' He pressed Sam forwards slightly towards the stairs.

'Seriously? All for me? I'll never have to come down for anything if I don't want to?' The joy in Sam's voice sounded false to Spencer, but Floyd didn't seem to sense anything wrong.

'Exactly. Bring your buddies home and you can disappear up there.' Floyd was smiling slightly. He thought he'd been indulgent… He thought that it was what every young lad would want.

'My buddies.' Sam nodded and started to walk away towards the large open lounge. 'I don't have any fucking buddies! I'm not allowed to have friends or go to college or do fuck all unless I'm told I can. And as you've not told me I can, well look… buddy free me.'

'Give it time.' Floyd's voice now showed a small amount of frustration and annoyance.'

'So you can lock me away and never have to look at me again? Fuck you! I'm going to live down here with you two and if you don't like that then you can lock yourself away upstairs and I'll stay here and watch porn with Spencer.'

Spencer went to the kitchen to check out if there was a machine to make coffee, finding that there was, he started brewing and left Floyd to try to placate Sam who was having a wild shouting session about always being the one left out and always being the one pushed to the side and ignored. He wailed on about how lonely he was and how he only let Spencer touch him because he was suffering from some kind of dehydration of his emotions and needed a human touch occasionally. He moaned about having to be upstairs on his own – in the dark – with the monsters. He told Floyd that he was actually too scared to be up there alone and didn't trust Floyd not to have set some kind of demonic trap to get him and so prevent Floyd and Spencer from getting hurt. The complaints stopped when Spencer walked back through with coffee in three mugs which he placed carefully on the coasters all ready laid out on the table.

'Maybe we should all sit, relax and watch a movie.' Spencer suggested trying to smile and ease the feeling in the room. 'Sam, I'm sure that you don't have to stay upstairs alone if you don't want to, does he? It's just so if you bring someone home you have your own private space.' He patted the couch to encourage both of them to sit. 'I'd like to spend the night with both of you. I've been told I don't voice my opinion and so I am. Tonight that would be nice.'

'And other nights I can bring a whore home… or I can be the whore and you can be my…'

'Sit… you're my doxy. You know. And I do mean that I a good way. Spence here is my wife and you're my bit on the side… which I will share occasionally if Spencer asks nicely…'

'I'm asking nicely.' Spencer pointed out… '… I'm asking if we can spend the night, the three of us, no fighting, no accusations… maybe even sleeping and relaxing. No incriminations and no one left out. First night here should be special. Shall we make it so?'

Sam sighed. 'I'm being whored out to Spencer again. Such is life. I guess I'll have to put up with it, but my price is going to increase with every session. I used to get a good price.'

'You used to be free.' Floyd pointed out. 'You nasty little boy, but I agree with Spencer. Tonight we shall christen the bed in the master bedroom and before that we can watch movies, porn or something else…'

'Anything but horror.' Sam stated.

'OK… well choose whatever you want… if we can agree on something we will watch it, drink coffee… relax. I will cook dinner later and Spencer will never touch the coffee machine again. Sammy… whilst it's light outside and the day is warm and bright, please take a quick gander at what I got you for your own area.' Floyd gave Sam a pleading look.