Hello again, sorry that I'm late with this update, but I have at least five reasons as to why. #1: The most simple and definitly the most common cause of not writing; procrastination. I get too, but really, it's not my fault that I want to watch wonderfully stupid and funny tv shows rather than write. #2: I got sick on Tuesday afternoon with the same loverly bug that everyone seems to be getting. #3 This one happens to be related to the last one, because I got sick I went to bed early and because I went to bed early I was given the priviledge of having insomnia. And because I woke up at the same time that I normally go to bed I decided to write, but not write anything for this. I was attacked by a insane plot-bunny and a spent the rest of the day writng an 9,000 word Merlin oneshot, so I think you can guess as to why I didn't get anytime to update this on Wensday. #4: Due my being sick I didn't feel like writing this chapter and I really didn't think a chapter that finally has the whump in it should be forced out of someone who may not be able to write it well at that time. So I didn't update. #5: The Doc-manager upload thingy decided to be stupid and wouldn't let me post for a while. And all this to stop you from being mad at me, though, I wouldn't be surprised if you got mad at me for this really long a/n. Anyway, as I stated previously this chapter does have the whump in it, but I have to warn you that it is sort of the opposite of nice, for I am quite mean to Merlin. Also this chapter is the longest one I have written yet, so I hope that that makes up for any lateness. And for those of you who are still reading I just want to say that I have already surpassed my record for how many words I've written. My previous score was like 27,000 on an orginal story, and that was like in eight months. Anyway, this makes me happy, and I want to thank all of you who have read and have therefore helped me to get to this mark. Here you go, enjoy and review!

The first thing that Merlin knew was that he had been unconscious for a long time, at a guess he would say for something like eight hours. It was a skill he believed came from his magic; he was almost always able to know how long he'd been out. So, naturally, when he realized that it had only been midday last he knew he immediately began to worry about Arthur. If he had fallen asleep at an unnatural time then who knows what sort of mess the danger prone prince could get himself into. It was one thing if he had fallen asleep during the night, but to have no memory of doing so meant that something quite bad might've happened to Arthur.

So, panicking slightly, he called out for the man he was supposed to protect, slowly opening his eyes as he did so. "Arthur?"

He didn't have any great hope of the prince answering; hence why he hadn't even tried to lift his head up yet, which also meant that all he could see was a dirty stone floor. But he was very surprised and relieved when he actually got a response.

"Yes, Merlin, I'm here."

Merlin silently thanked whatever superior being that was responsible for Arthur being there. But the relief and gratitude was short lived since he realized that just because the prince was there didn't necessarily mean that he was okay, especially considering the state of the floor that he was currently looking at.

So he said a bit frantically again, "Are you alright?" Even to his own ears his voice sounded like he was either half dead or half asleep, possibly both.

"Yeah, I'm fine." And there was the relief again.

Arthur was okay, Merlin hadn't detected any lie or pain in his voice and so he doubted that that was too far from the truth. Obviously he couldn't be perfectly fine since he was in a place that he wouldn't spend five minutes in if he didn't have to, at the very least this would cause some bruising to his ego and naïveté. But other than that Merlin had a feeling that he was mostly alright. And now that he knew he almost wished he hadn't since that's when the horrible pain in his arms and head made itself known.

The first thing on his mind had, of course, been Arthur; he'd put far too much work into him already to just stop worrying about him altogether. However, once the fear of his death or injury had been nullified his mind allowed him to think of the very thing that had been begging to be noticed since he woke up: pain.

He hadn't felt anything up until that moment, and whether that was numbness left over from the sleep, or his magic protecting him, or simply his ability to block out unimportant things, he didn't know. He had a feeling that the pain had been there the entire time; he just had been too preoccupied to notice.

But now that all of his other worries were out of the way his body made its suffering plenty clear. His arms and shoulders burned and ached as if someone had tried to pull them clean off, but even that misery was nothing compared to what his head felt like.

He head seemed to be splitting open and it felt like someone was hammering a nail through it. In fact, it was so painful that it was taking almost all of his energy to not scream. He hadn't even attempted to lift his head up; he knew that it would only make the agony worse.

But though he had a pretty good idea of why his arms were so mad at him—he may have been in a lot of pain but that didn't mean that he didn't register the fact that his legs weren't beneath him and that his shoulders were taking all his weight—he could think of no reason as to why his head would be punishing him so. He couldn't even remember how he had gotten here; the last thing he knew was that he and Arthur had been riding their horses and were making their way back to Camelot. He did remember that he had been feeling quite off and not really all that comfortable, though.

And obviously Arthur had had the same feeling because he hadn't even tried to make conversation, nor had Merlin in fact. It had almost been as though their somewhat heartfelt talks the night before had been forgotten. And they practically had for Merlin.

Normally he'd be feeling pretty good considering that he had just gotten proof of Arthur's humanity and that he had opinions of his own and did not entirely let his father dictate what to think to him. But that horrible feeling like something bad was about to happen had seemed to block everything else out. Though, considering how much pain he was in and the very cold room that he was inhabiting he had a feeling that it wasn't completely unjustified.

Just then he heard Arthur chuckle slightly, though what about this situation was funny Merlin didn't know. And he realized that all this time he'd been trying not to make a sound because of his pain he'd actually been carrying out a conversation with Arthur. Apparently he'd just said that he had a nail in his head or something. So much for not talking. Then again, he'd been known to express his pain sometimes with pointless babble because he had actually found that it helped. Maybe that's why he'd been subconsciously talking.

"What-what's so funny?" he asked in an attempt to distract himself.

"Nothing, it's just that that was exactly what I thought when I first woke up. Other than the nail, how are you feeling?" Arthur had started out sounding amused and had ended sounding concerned. Even in his current state that idea that Arthur cared managed to make Merlin feel better.

"Um, a bit sore," he said, having trouble concentrating on anything but the agony. Maybe if I actually lift my head up I'll be able to better distract myself, and hopefully see a way out of here, he thought.

Even though he couldn't quite remember how he had gotten here he had a pretty good idea of what had happened. They had somehow managed to get captured and were locked up in some sort of cell, and he knew all that from the pain in his arms and the state of the floor. But it honestly wouldn't do them any good if he was too afraid of the extra pain to even try to find a way out of this.

So slowly he pulled his legs underneath him and stood up and immediately the relief that his arms and shoulders felt made itself known. But as soon as they had expressed their pleasure they went back to aching again, though this time it was worse. From hanging in that position for so long his arms had managed to go a little numb, but now all the feeling came rushing back into them and the pain intensified.

But he wasn't going to let that get in his way so he raised his stiff neck and opened his eyes once more so that he could finally see how bad of a mess they were in. At least, that was the idea, but the light from the torch, which had barely been visible from his previous position, now seemed all too bright and he shut his eyes tight as the pain in his head became even worse. Gradually he eased his way back into the land of the seeing and, after several long and agonizing moments, finally saw Arthur.

And just like that the pain got put on hold again as he visually checked his prince over to make sure that he was unharmed.

He was shackled to the grimy wall much in the same way Merlin supposed that he was, he was shirtless and, despite the frigid air, seemed to be sweating a little. He looked like his arms and shoulders probably had been holding up his weight for a while as well since they sagged slightly in their bonds, plus the fact that he looked utterly exhausted. The only hint of pain was a slight tenseness in his face which probably meant that his arms were still bothering him some.

But other than those things he seemed to be fine, and Merlin could only pray that he would stay that way.

"What happened? How'd we get here?" Merlin asked.

"You don't remember?" Arthur looked slightly concerned, and perhaps a little relieved. Little did Merlin know that Arthur had a good reason for not wanting him to remember an insane creepster, after all, who would want to remember that?

"No, I just know that we were heading back to Camelot."

"Oh, well, apparently the man in the clearing was neither injured nor in need of any help. And after he cast a spell on me to…uh, knock me unconscious he talked to you, at least that's what he said."

And just like that Merlin remembered the creepy voice that would morph from normal to ridiculously high at any given moment. He remembered that it had told him exactly what he wanted and exactly what he was going to do in the most disturbing way possible so that Merlin would be unable to come up with a more complicated plan than "run." He remembered it all.

Merlin shuddered, and Arthur assumed that that meant that it had all come back to him. Rats, he thought, if only he hadn't had to remember that, I know I wish I didn't have to; that guy is insane.

He had been watching Merlin closely since the boy had woken up and he had to admit that he didn't look very good. He had already guessed from his own experience that the idiot's arms and shoulders would hurt like nothing else, but he looked like he was in a lot more pain than that.

His pride would like to tell him that it was just because Merlin had a low tolerance for pain, but for some reason Arthur doubted that it was true. And even if it were true it didn't mean that it should be ignored. Arthur had made a promise to Gaius and so far he was doing a very sucky job of keeping it. If Merlin was in pain, no matter what kind of tolerance he had to it, then Arthur should do whatever he could to ease it.

But once again Arthur was brought out of his musings about this strange obligation he felt towards protecting a servant; a feeling that he hadn't had before said servant decided to drink poison for him, by a voice. And that voice happened to belong to Merlin, who seemed to have recovered from the rush of memories.

"Wait, you said that that Arcturus talked to you. When?" Once again that concern in his voice, when would that servant stop being so damn loyal? Honestly, who did he think he was? A knight? He wasn't even a proper citizen of Camelot.

"Um, yeah, before you woke up. He came and talked to me," Arthur answered.

Merlin seemed to be feeling a little better physically since a rather grim smile crossed his face. "And did you like him?"

Arthur laughed, even though the actual event of meeting the sorcerer had been one of the most terrifying moments of his life, not that he ever say that out loud. "Yeah, right. Even if he didn't use magic I think my father would still execute him for possessing excessive creepiness."

Merlin laughed loudly at that and Arthur joined in. Arcturus really wasn't all that funny, but that's what the two friends—even if they wouldn't always admit that that's what they were—did. They made fun of stupid things and had even stupider banter; it was their way of not thinking about how horrible the mess that they were in was. But all too soon the laughter was over.

"He said that you stood up for me, that you were very loyal." Arthur said slowly as he looked at his tired and pained servant.

Merlin thought for moment; trying to remember exactly what he had said. "Um, yes, I think I told him that you wouldn't give in, no matter what." He looked uncomfortable, not to mention a bit anxious about what was probably waiting for his master.

Instead of it boosting his ego, or being grateful to Merlin, Arthur felt a nasty feeling of uneasiness for about the fifth time since they had gone on this trip. For some reason Arthur wished that Merlin hadn't said that, maybe it was because of Arcturus' cryptic agreement before Merlin had woken up, or maybe it was because the boy always seemed to get in trouble. But whatever the exact reason for the warning his gut was giving him he knew one thing; that the less the idiot talked to the insane man the better.

Arthur sighed. "How long do you think we've been here?" he asked, not really expecting his servant to know. But he did.

"Well, I think I was asleep for about eight hours, so it's probably very early in the morning of the next day."

They both seemed to be thinking the same thing but it was Arthur who said it. "The third day. They won't start looking for us until tomorrow, probably tomorrow afternoon. But it won't matter, apparently, when they start looking because according to the sorcerer," he spat the word, "They'll never find us."

Not only were Arthur's words depressing, but Merlin also felt a stab of pain as the prince said the word "sorcerer," even if he did share his dislike of the man in question. Merlin knew that it was only to be expected that the son of the man who had started the Great Purge would be less than friendly towards magic, and considering his experiences with magic and their current situation it was perfectly natural, but it still hurt him when he heard the hate in his tone. But that wasn't important, what was important was getting out of the dirty, freezing cell that they were in and getting back to Camelot.

Merlin could almost feel his already abused muscles freeze up at the frigid temperature in the room, which honestly didn't make his shoulders any happier. Both the pain in his head and in his arms had calmed down some with rest, time, and the nice distraction of Arthur and their banter. But it still hurt like crazy and Merlin was starting to wonder if he was ever going to not be in pain again. It seemed like the last couple of weeks he'd been in almost constant pain, or at the very least, exhaustion.

Not that he'd give this up, mind you, if he had to choose between no longer being in pain and protecting Arthur he would always choose to save Arthur. Merlin had found that he could endure almost anything as long as he managed to keep the ones he loved safe from harm.

Then, suddenly, for the second or third—he'd lost count— time in two days Merlin heard the two words he never thought he'd hear from Arthur's mouth, especially if they were directed towards him.

"You're right, Merlin. Well, you were right; we should've left that clearing. I didn't listen to you and for that…I'm sorry."

Whatever happened here Arthur knew that his servant would hardly enjoy it, and he knew that all this may have been avoided if he had just listened to him, so he felt like he had to apologize, again. It hurt his pride to do so but, really—he was chained up shirtless in some kind of underground cell that probably no one who had any chance of saving him might ever find—pride really had lost its meaning.

But just as Merlin had been surprised by what Arthur had said, so also Arthur was surprised by the words that came out of his manservant's mouth.

"I'm not. I'm not sorry." And when Arthur looked at him like he was crazy Merlin continued, "Well, I'm not particularly happy that we're here, but I am glad about the decision you made.

"You have great hunter's instincts, Arthur, you knew that something was wrong, but you ignored it. You ignored it because there was someone hurt and you weren't going to leave him.

"When I first met you I thought that you were the biggest prat who ever lived. But now that I know you a little better I've realized that you have a noble side to you, Arthur. You truly and honestly care about your people. And not just your people either. You care about everyone one who needs help whether they're from Camelot or not. You went against your better judgment and my warnings because you believed that someone needed your help; and that is the making of a great king.

"Camelot doesn't need a king that will live by his instincts or his intuition, but a king that lives by his heart. Camelot already has a king that does what he believes is right, but when you become king it will have one that does what he knows is right, and damn the consequences to himself."

Little did Merlin know that Morgana had said something very similar to Arthur when she had been trying to convince him to save his poisoned servant.

"I'm not glad we're here, but I am glad that when we get out of this—because I know we will—that I will be serving a future king that won't totally be a prat."

Merlin smiled and Arthur wondered when his manservant had become so profound. But he took Merlin's words to heart, and he knew that whenever he doubted himself in the future he would remember those words and see if he was living up to them; if he was living by his heart.

But just as Arthur was smiling back Merlin got a horrible chill down his spine, and someone entered through the open door and into the room.

"Well, well, I see that you're nice and awake now." Arcturus turned to Arthur. "I hope that I didn't interrupt anything important or heartfelt." His voice had anything but sincerity in it.

He twirled around and looked at Merlin, which made Arthur tense; he really didn't like having this whack-job paying attention to his servant.

"I'm glad you're alright, Merlin, I was afraid that the number of spells that I had to perform on you might make you ill."

When Arthur had first seen how bad Merlin looked when he woke up he had been afraid that the sorcerer had done something other than put him to sleep. But now when he heard the man as much as confess to doing something to the lad he was angry to say the least.

"What-what did you do to me?" Merlin asked, the fear in his tone evident at first, but then, much to Arthur's pride, he masked it.

"Oh, I only performed one spell on you to make you sleep. But not only did it take a little longer to take effect on you than it did on your precious prince, but I also had to cast it at least six times. You kept on waking up almost every hour; it was all that I could do to keep you from returning to the land of the waking ahead of schedule."

The man tutted slightly; something that only served to make the boys more creeped out, even though they had thought that that was impossible.

"I have heard of those who do not possess magic but do have a natural resistance to it, but I had thought that it was only a myth. I've never met anyone before with such a resistance to my spells. I may not be very strong in magic, but the spell itself is affective enough, or it should've been." He stared quizzically at the young boy.

Arthur and Merlin looked at each other, though Arthur could've sworn that the thin boy had a hint of fear in his eyes. And though at first Arthur had thought that it was directed at him, he soon realized that the boy was afraid of the psychopath who was talking to him. Of course he wouldn't be afraid of his master at a time like this. Still, though, he had to admit that he never would've thought that Merlin would have a natural resistance to magic.

"I do apologize,"Arcturus continued, "due to the fact that I had to cast the same spell so many times you probably have a horrible headache about now. Normally the spell would cause a head-splitting ache after only being use once, but since I used it so many times on you, you probably feel like you're dying. I'm surprised just by the fact that you haven't gone insane yet. Like I told your prince, you really are impressing."

Arthur mentally cringed at the idea of the headache he'd gotten being amplified six or so times. He wasn't sure that he would've been able to handle it. No wonder the boy looked like he wanted to scream, honestly, if he was in that much pain he should have.

Arthur was now angrier than ever at the sorcerer who had done this. But all the anger vanished in order to make way for the total mind numbing fear and dread that he felt when he heard Arcturus' next words.

"Which is why I feel so bad about what I'm going to have to do."

Merlin who had been practically silent since the man had come into the room finally spoke up. "What are you going to do?" And Arthur would later swear to himself and anyone else who asked that there was only the barest trace of fear in his voice. If nothing else the boy was brave.

"Well, I am going to do a lot of things, but what I am going to do next will be to you." There was the confirmation of what Arthur had feared since he had learned that Merlin had stood up for him.

"You see, it's really all your fault, well, yours and Artie's here." Arthur scowled slightly at the horrible nickname.

"Originally I had planned on torturing the prince for information about Camelot's defenses and weaknesses. I thought about keeping for leverage or something, but I had no real plans concerning you. But then you defended your prince; saying that he'd never tell me anything, and when he practically said the same it got me thinking.

"You're his servant, not only have you not been trained since birth to resist torture, but you've also probably heard plenty of secrets. That's what servants do, am I right? You stay quiet and listen, servants hear things, servants are the ultimate gossipers. After all, you have nothing else to keep yourselves from going insane.

"Personally you servants show a kind of patience that astounds me. You work for pompous jerks all day long that couldn't care less what happen to you. So of course you hear things." Arcturus smiled like a dog that has just brought you a dead squirrel and dropped it in your lap and is now looking for praise on his genius.

Arthur was horrified, but he still didn't have time to get mad yet because the insane sorcerer wasn't done talking.

"So you probably know a lot of the same things that I planned on getting from Artie, not as much, perhaps, but still enough to be useful. And since this jerk seems to care a little bit about his servant than this can be his punishment too. I promise to stop the second either one of you wish to tell me anything. Of course, once I have finished you off, Merlin, I will go and torture Arthur next, so maybe you want to stagger your answers a bit, if you really want to protect him, that is."

He then went over to Arthur; turning away from Merlin as he did so and the boy took this as an opportunity to compose his mask which had been slipping slightly. Arcturus leaned in close to Arthur and whispered in his ear,

"Also, I have to say that I want to see how long it takes to break him. In all my years I've never met a servant who has impressed me so much, so I suppose that I think of this as an experiment, an experiment to see how long it takes the manservant who drank poison for his master to betray that very same master." He backed away and grinned wickedly at Arthur and then turned and went to the torch which was still burning on a bracket on the wall.

He picked up the torch and put his hand up close to it and said some eerie words. "Tóbrædan and swælan hwíl beinnan lyft." His eyes turned gold and the fire that had been burning on the wood now lifted off it and levitated in the air.

Then it suddenly split into three orbs, though, they were all the same size as the original orb had been. They all floated across the room mere inches from the ceiling so that no one was in danger of getting burnt or killed.

But each one stopped in a different place; one orb stopped when it came near the end of the room on the left side of Arthur, and another stopped when it came to the wall/ceiling on the right side of Arthur. And the third one stopped, once again very near the ceiling, in the middle of the room. The whole effect was that the entire room was lit up so that everyone could see everything clearly. And Arthur could.

Arthur had tensed up even more so when he had seen magic being used, but all thoughts of how wrong it was, was swept from his mind when is gaze flickered past Merlin. His eyes caught something that they didn't understand so they focused again on their point of confusion. On Merlin's chest was a strange white outline of…something. And as Arthur looked harder he saw what it was; a symbol of a flower, a flower that he recognized.

"Morteus," Arthur whispered, but despite the fact that he shouldn't have been able to hear him Merlin looked away from the light show and stared at him. His eyes then seemed to widen as he realized what the prince had said and he looked down at his chest, and then back at Arthur.

Meanwhile Arcturus had left the room and then come back, and when he saw the symbol on Merlin's chest he smiled evilly.

Arthur wanted to ask so many things but didn't know how. He wanted to ask how the outline of the very flower that had nearly killed the boy had ended up on Merlin's torso. He wanted to ask why he hadn't told him about the mark. But most of all he wanted to beg Arcturus not to do this, and he had a feeling that he just might end up doing that.

And when Arthur saw the whip that the insane sorcerer had in his hand and the look of utter and complete fear on Merlin's face he knew that he had no other choice.

"Stop," he said, causing both Merlin's and the psychopath's faces to turn towards him sharply. The fear had left Merlin's face as quickly as it had appeared, but Arthur sensed that this time it wasn't because of his mask, but rather because Merlin was concerned about what the prince might say next. And the look in his eyes that was telling him to do nothing confirmed that suspicion.

"Why should I?" asked Arcturus.

"Because, I'm…I'm begging you." Curse my stupid pride, Arthur thought. "If you're going to hurt anyone than hurt me; I've got the information you want." He didn't miss the look of panic in Merlin's eyes as he said the last bit.

"Are you going to tell me of Camelot's weaknesses, its defenses? All of the secret ways in that none of the guards know about? Mmmh?" The sorcerer was mocking him; he knew what the answer was going to be.

Arthur stared at the sorcerer for a long moment; wishing that he could say yes. And then he looked at Merlin, stupid, self-sacrificing Merlin and saw that the boy was practically pleading with his eyes for him not to. They both knew what was going to come if Arthur said the only thing that he could say, and neither of them wanted it.

He turned and looked back at the madman with the whip and said, "No." And then hung his head.

"Very well, then."

Arthur quickly lifted his head again in time to see Arcturus advancing on Merlin, who looked both relieved and terrified out of his wits. When he was only a couple of feet away Arcturus stopped and raised his empty hand.

"Hwyrft," he said. Suddenly Merlin seemed to turn around unwillingly in his chains so that his back faced Arthur, and once again, he saw something that he didn't want to see.

Arthur gasped when he saw the dozens of white little lines that covered Merlin's back. The prince knew that white scars like that could only come from one thing. Merlin had been whipped before.

He now knew why the boy had looked so completely terrified when he'd seen the whip, of course it was natural to be scared but Arthur had thought that the fear seemed too extreme for someone who had been able to mask his feelings so well up until that point. But to have been whipped before, well, the very sight of a whip must bring back horrible memories.

Arthur wanted now more than ever that he could stop this, but he knew no way to. Still he tried. "Don't!" Arthur yelled, but the sorcerer acted as though he hadn't heard him, instead he raised the whip above his head and then brought it down hard with a resounding crack.

When Merlin had seen the whip he had known what was coming and he had been afraid. But as afraid as he was of going through that again he was even more afraid of Arthur going through it. And so when Arcturus had gone for him again he was both pleased and horrified. Some part of him, he knew, had wanted Arthur to be the one to experience this just so that he wouldn't have to, but that part of him was small. He had already decided that he could endure anything if it meant keeping the people he loved and the kingdom he had chosen to protect safe, and he wasn't going to go back on that now.

But when he had heard Arthur's gasp he knew that the prince had seen his scars and the boy had briefly wondered if it was possible to have scars on scars. However, any and all thoughts were banished from his mind as he heard the familiar whistle and then felt it.

For a tiny, merciful moment he hadn't felt anything, but then he did. The pain seemed to scorch its way down his back and burn through him.

During his bout with the magic enhanced poison he had been in horrible pain. He felt what it was like to be burned from the inside out. But now, and even back then so many years ago, he felt what it was like to be burned from the outside in. But this wasn't slow and excruciating, this was fast and more painful than his body knew how to bear, but bare it he somehow did.

It had taken all of his will power not to scream when the first lash came, but as they continued and it felt as though he was being cut very quickly with a knife made out of fire, it became harder to not scream. But not screaming is what kept him going, he had to do it otherwise he knew that he'd be begging for the torment to stop. If he focused on not screaming, on not giving in even a little bit then maybe he could endure the agony.

Just like last time his brain automatically counted each fall of the whip, it was honestly hard not to since it felt like each one reverberated throughout his system and shook him to his core. He could feel each tongue of fire everywhere in his body; in his mind, in his blood, and in his magic.

Since the second he had woken up in this dank cell his magic had been screaming at him to act, to do something. And of course he had ignored it since Arthur was like nine feet in front of him. But when the whip had first hit his unprotected back it had become harder to resist its pull, partially because he just wanted the pain to end. But it was mostly because his magic had a strong desire to protect him, in fact, the desire of it to help him was so strong that only one thing was stronger.

He knew that if he let go of his magic now that Arthur would find out and would probably kill him the first chance he got and then he wouldn't be able to protect the prat anymore. But even worse than that was the fact that he didn't think he could control his magic now; when it lashed out it may end up hurting Arthur and that was one thing he had sworn to himself never to do.

So even though his magic felt like it was burning him and the fire of the whip also seemed to be burning him, Merlin didn't let go of it, because the only thing stronger than its pull was his loyalty and friendship with Arthur.

Unfortunately, even someone with as much conviction like Merlin could not hold himself together for long, so after the twentieth lash Merlin, finally, screamed. By this time the blood loss and pain and exhaustion had gotten to Merlin so that, what had started out as a horrible feeling of déjà vu, now had grown into full-fledged hallucinations.

He remembered what it had felt like last time; the fear, the pain, the desperation, the hope for rescue that had come far too late. All of it, and that's why Merlin no longer tried to withhold his screams, he simply was lost in his own past.

But somewhere after the twenty-fifth lash merlin pulled himself out of his delusions. At that point the pain was so intense that he had trouble forming even the tiniest of thoughts, but he did manage one collective thought. He thought about his friends, about Gaius who had become a mentor to him, he thought about Gwen who had been nice to him and had even kissed him. He thought of his mother who had always cared for him no matter how difficult he could be, and he thought of Will; his best friend for as long as he could remember.

And yet, the last image his mind conjured up didn't have the same warm and comforting feeling that it had had last time.

And that's when he thought of Arthur. Immediately that warm feeling he had been missing washed over him. He is why I am doing this, Merlin thought as another blow fell. He knew it, he was doing this for Camelot, for his friends, and for Arthur; the other side of the coin. And as the pain began to overcome everything and blackness was all that he could see Merlin thought of the one reason he was doing all of this:

Arthur.

And then he knew no more.

Well, there you go, I hope that you liked it and that it didn't disappoint. The strangest thing happened to me a couple of days ago; I read a scene in a fanfic called "Darkest Day, Blackest Knight" that was actually written by one of my reader's, and it was a bit like the whump scene in this. So I just want to say that I've had almost all of this story planned out for months so nothing that you see has been taken from anything, anything recent anyway. I also want to say that the whump isn't over for Merlin, though, the worst part is, but there will also be comfort. I promise to give you plenty of comfort and bromance. Also, a bit of shameless promoting of my fav fanfic author, you should really check out some of Emachinescat's works because if you like mine then you'll love hers, she is amazing. Well, I'll try to update soon but you know that if you want me to update sooner the way to go is to review, it always makes me want to write more. Also, if you think this fic is too dark or something then let me know so that the other fics in this particular "verse" won't be as bad, thanks. Until next time...