Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who has read/reviewed/alerted this story. And thank you for taking a chance on this story and taking the time to read it. I love hearing your feedback! As it stands now, I think this is the last chapter. I'd intended for it to be longer, but I started writing and I just let it all out - this is what came of it. I've left it open, so if I do decide to add to it I can, but as of now I don't plan to. So thank you all for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

Kate had been whole once.

There had been a time when her smile came easily to her face, a time when her laughter was as frequent as the breaths she took and her heart was as light and free as a feather. Her world had been vibrant and beautiful, all possibility wrapped in promise and adventure. She had known exactly what she wanted from the world, she'd had a plan and path and a compass to lead her on her way.

Now, in the pre-dawn grayness of her bedroom, Kate wondered if that life had ever been more than a half remembered dream. Surely she hadn't always been adrift in this sea of grim realities and dark dreams; she hadn't always felt as shell-shocked and desperate as she did now.

Outside her window, the startling blast of a car horn ripped through the early morning din that was the closest Manhattan ever came to actual quiet. She wondered what the driver was honking at, and where the car was headed at such an early hour: just going to work, or just going home? Her thoughts followed the unseen car, and Kate wondered what kind of day lay ahead of the unknown driver. Was it just a normal day for that person? Just another frustrating commute through city traffic; just another thankless day at a despised job?

Did that person know that their whole life could be torn apart with no more sound than the ringing of a telephone? Did they know that there was no such thing as fate, or miracles, or fairness?

Did they know there was no such thing as justice?

Her musings ground to a halt there, and Kate was silently taken aback by her mental meanderings and what they had uncovered. Only once in her life had Kate truly believed herself to be destroyed; only once in her life had she felt such soul crushing darkness that it forced her to her knees: the death of her mother. That was the only time she knew of in her meager existence in this life that she had simply given up.

Now, she found herself wondering if she was about to repeat that terrible time. She found herself wondering if, and Heaven forbid it, if she lost her father as well what would be left to tether her to such a grim and painful life? What would she have left?

Castle shifted against her, the arm that was draped over the dip of her waist tightening and pinning her more closely against the broad plane of his chest. He smelled faintly of cologne and sleep and musk, a smell that made her heart trip a little over itself as she inhaled it. His was the smell of life. His was the smell of optimism and joy and vigor; the smell of the only man she had ever met who could, would, and did scale the wall she had so lovingly built around herself.

Unbidden, a memory of her mother came whispering into her mind then; a memory of her mother, perhaps a year before Kate had lost her, on a day that had been tougher than many of the others. "How do you deal with it?" Kate had inquired, tracing the lines in her mother's face with her eyes. "Do what, Katie?" Johanna had responded, and Kate could hear the trace of dejectedness in her tone. "How do you deal with the world? There's so much cruelty and injustice; you see it every day. You always fight it, and it always comes back." Johanna, wise and warm as she had been, had just smiled at her daughter and took her by the hand as if she were just a toddler again. "The world is full of injustice, darling: everyone knows that. We stand and we fight and we do our best, but sometimes we lose. And on those days, I come home a little early and I kiss your father and I help you with your homework, and I feel better. I find that, on the days when you can't have faith in yourself, it's okay to put your faith in those you love." Kate had squeezed her mother's hand and said, "Why only on those days?" Johanna had kissed her daughter on the forehead and flashed the smile her husband and daughter had taken to calling The Smile of Stubborn Determination. "Always have faith in yourself first, Katie, above all others. You are an intelligent, beautiful woman with more strength than you realize. But there will be days when you doubt yourself; days when you think that maybe you've had all you can take. And on those days, it's okay to let someone else be strong for you."

On the days when you can't have faith in yourself – days like today.

…Okay to put your faith in those you love.

Castle: her opposite, her complement, her … saving grace; her lighthouse in the storm.

What would she have if she lost her father?

She would have Castle.

"I love you."

The stillness of her room seemed to swallow her words, half mumbled into the material of his shirt. Her only assurance that she'd actually said the words aloud was the accompanying rumble in her chest as she said them.

As if in response, Castle stirred again and she felt his breath puff through her hair as his he pulled in a pocket of air. The arm around her waist loosened as he climbed his way into wakefulness with a yawn and a stretch. She watched him openly, not caring that he might catch her watching him or what he would see in her face if he did. Suddenly, all of the fears and insecurities Kate had been harboring – all of her reasons for keeping him at arms length – didn't seem quite as frightening as they had a few days ago. They were not unfounded, not really, but the events of the previous week made them seem less important. The obstacles didn't seem as daunting as they had the night before.

Kate did not believe in fate, and she had never claimed to be a religious person, but she did recognize a hint when she saw one. She did know when the relentless stream of life was giving her a rather deserved kick in the ass. She had gotten caught in the one trap that all of humanity seemed to share: the belief that she had all the time in the world; the belief that there would always be another chance, another tomorrow. She had lived most of the past decade of her life in just such a way: deferring what she couldn't accomplish today – or what she wasn't sure how to face – until "tomorrow".

"Kate?"

Castle's voice was husky; she liked it. She scooted her head up the pillow so that she could fix her hazel eyes on his azure ones, and she knew from his reaction that some of the intensity building within her chest was shining through in her expression.

"Did you get any sleep?"

"Some," She answered quietly, reaching up to brush away the little lock of hair that fell against his forehead

She felt certain that over the last few years she had cemented every detail of her partner's face in her memory, but her eyes darted over his face as though seeing him for the first time. Her hand trailed across his brow, to the laugh lines gathered at the corner of one eye; down the swell of his cheek, along his jaw line, and then her fingers splayed softly against his face while her thumb came to brush slowly over his bottom lip. She loved this face, the feel of fresh stubble that scratched ever so slightly at her fingertips.

"Kate?" He queried, his voice warm honey poured over thunder

There were so many questions in that tone, so much doubt and surprise in the openness off his crystalline eyes. She could see it there, reflected back upon her as if she were gazing at her reflection in a mirror. Was he afraid for her, or afraid of her? Did he think she'd finally lost her wits?

The warm pressure of her lips against his as she kissed him made her heart stutter. She didn't care about how she looked, or if her breath smelled bad, or anything else outside this moment. All she cared about was the intimacy of being wrapped in Richard Castle's arms, watching the light dance in his blue eyes as the world gained speed outside her window. All she cared about was that he was here, right next to her, where he belonged.

The kiss was gentle, lingering; an offer, a promise, a seal.

"I love you."

Not for the first time in their years together, Kate left him speechless. The first stirrings of a smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she watched his eyes widen and his chest still as he held his breath. A tangle of emotions flitted across his face, and she was content to watch them all. She could almost picture the synapses in his brain firing as he jumped from thought to thought, idea to idea, and that made her smile widen a bit more.

"I love you, Rick."

For the span of several heartbeats she thought he might argue; she thought he might start questioning her, refuting her words, or otherwise try to brush aside her statement. He seemed to settle on a different course of action, however, and his eyes darkened with what she had come to recognize as a challenge. Good.

"I love you, Castle," She said again

"I love you too, Kate," He answered immediately, confidently. Then, "Are you sure this is what you want? Are you sure you want to do this now?"

"Yes," She replied, no less confidently

She kissed him again, slowly at first and then with mounting passion as he responded in kind. That little flame that existed somewhere beneath the fear and confusion and grief guttered and then grew exponentially; as she lay there in her bed, every possible inch of her body pressed against her partner, Kate was reminded of life. She was bruised and vulnerable, but that did not make her any less alive. All the horrors of her life – of the world – did not detract from the love she felt now, in Castle's arms.

"There is no tomorrow, Castle," She whispered against his lips when they broke for air, "There is only today. There is only this."

"And what is this?" He asked gently

"You and me. Us. I can't be less than I am, Rick, and I'm a mess. I am free, and I am flawed; I am here," She said, pressing one elegant hand against his chest over his heartbeat, "In your heart. I was here from the start."

"How very poetic," He murmured, smiling and taking her hand in his own to press the palm to his lips, "Lucky for us, I'm good with messes. And I love you, Kate, flaws and all."

Kate had had a lot of time to think. She'd had about all she could take of fear and uncertainty and loss – what she needed now was hope, and love, and strength.

She needed Richard Castle, with her and for her and maybe even against her; she needed him to know that even if she had faith in nothing and no one else, she had faith in him. Faith that he would love and protect her, support her when she was weak and tease her when she was too serious. She needed him to know that he was her lighthouse, that she had faith that he would pull her through, no matter what the storm. The rocks would always be there, waiting to dash her upon their unforgiving edges – they would always be there, and so would he.

Richard Castle had never failed her.