WOW! I was SHOCKED when there were FIVE FREAKING REVIEWS after only A DAY! YAAAY! So, in a combination of script and story form, here is what you've been waiting for. Probably going to disappoint you... Or not. I don't know. WARNING! Scarlet is going to be mean to the Mary Sues. Hopefully they don't make her too angry... Sorry for being so late *hands out virtual muffin baskets*

Scarlet, the one in charge for once, paced the room, dark red fur standing on end.

"Uh, Scarlet?" I whispered. She was Aggressive Me (among other things), and I was nervous about having to clean blood stains off the walls and carpet. Why, oh why did I have to go with carpet? "Don't kill them too much, okay?"

"Ooh, I can't wait to torment- I MEAN TEACH!" Scarlet said after a pause, catching herself as she recieved an icy glare from me. "-these stupid Mary-Sues."

I sighed, and left Scarlet to do her evil Scarlet stuff. She was awesome, but sometimes I wish she was a little more grateful that I created her. I could just poof her out of existance, but I don't.

I started searching for the carpet cleaner's phone number as soon as I left.

8888888888

Finally, she leaves. Nightsoul is a good person, and I'm glad she created me, but sometimes she's too hard on me, and too strict.

I create a few monsters that were shaped like humans. They wouldn't die, but they were like living dummies. No thinking, no breathing, no heart-beat. But they were indeed alive, and made of flesh and blood. Ah, my little creations! I hate them so much. Then again, there's not much I'll admit to loving. Then again, that's not exactly true... I shudder at the memories and hold back tears. A moment later they're gone.

I walk over to where the Mary Sues are waiting. So... stupid... sweet... sickly sweet, like when I buy cheap, weak coffee, add a lot of milk, and then add about a pound or two of sugar. I'll bet that stuff runs through their veins.

I inspect them. First, there was Azaria Lightning. Blonde hair, oh, how I loathe blonde hair on non-evil people. Blonde evil people were often sexy and charming, but blonde good guys? Hatred!

Hmm, she has a nice body, nice eyes, she is everything perfect! I have work to do!

"Azaria Lightning, what useful things could you possibly do?" I immediately realized my mistake, and tried to take it back, but it was too late.

"Well, I have great survival skills and a caring nature. I'm an absolutely stunning singer. My mom is a pop star, you know. My dad is Zeus, and he claimed me quite some time ago. It was years before I became head counselor-"

"THAT'S ENOUGH! I have a fair idea of what I'm working with." I belatedly realize that I was given this job not because they thought I'd enjoy pulverizing these... people, I guess you could call them... but because I was the only one who'd agreed.

I checked my clipboard. Next was Callian Catalina Royce. Ooh, I looked forward to her. From her form, it looked like she was closest to being finished.

"Hello," I say, in a slightly better mood. "Do you know why you're here? This is a school for Mary Sues."

"And...?"

"Well," I say, "you happen to be a Mary Sue..."

"I am not!" she says angrily.

"Well, the only one who isn't a Mary Sue here is the teacher."

"And where's the teacher?"

I growl and say, "Well, just judge by who isn't a Mary Sue."

"But I'm the only one who isn't a Mary Sue," she says in mocking false realization. "Are you saying that I am the teacher?"

"I don't know where you got the idea that I'm a Mary Sue-"

"Your hideous cat face."

I show her my claws, which were long, black, and extremely sharp.

"You are little more than a foot away from my hideous cat claws, Callian. I'd say you are not in the right place to be insulting me."

"Then allow me to stand over there and insult you," she said. I flick my claw under her throat.

"Now, I told Nightsoul I wouldn't make a mess, so don't make me kill you. It's a real pain, getting blood out of my clothes." I move on, leaving Callian a bit spooked by her near death. I've done that before. I was very kind to her.

I move on to Wadjet. The name alone tells me this ought to be interesting. Wait, Wadjet is of the Kane Chronicles. This was bad. I hadn't read those.

I shudder at the appearance. A snake's body, really! This was awful. Naturally, I had to get the weird Mary-Sues.

"Hello, Wadjet. If I were you, I'd refrain from any smart remarks about me, because here, godly powers are null and void." She nods, as if this was to be expected. "So, violence and anger issues..."

"I do not have anger issues," Wadjet says forcefully.

"Right, and I've never killed anybody. Our lie detector is painful, you know." I shake my head and move on.

Here is the most normal of all of them. Completely mortal, no weird animal body parts. Her huge sapphire-colored eyes gazed up at me.

"Okay, your name is... Cathy. Okay, Cathy, how was your summer vacation?" I'm pretty sure that the answer to that would tell me a lot about what I had to deal with here.

"It was amazing! My family and I went for a vacation on our yacht and we went all the way..." I grow bored as I stare at nothing while listening to her drone on about how amazing it was. I stop really listening when I fall into one of my many trances. A million years passes, but only one second passes. Cathy might have said something about a boyfriend, or maybe a girlfriend? I forget it before it's said. I wake up when my head starts hurting and I feel like crying for some reason. But I can't cry. Never in public. Never show weakness. It's Nightsoul's fault that I feel this way, but who's fault is it that part of her feels that way?

Cathy looked at me expectantly. I look at the clock. Ten minutes had passed. "What?" I asked, with force, authority, aggressiveness that even the most battle-loving warriors didn't possess.

"Well," she said, "I just asked you if-"

"I'LL ASK THE QUESTIONS HERE! Lastly, we have..." I look towards a pale girl with gray eyes. Black hair, like so many others. "Beth. My person's mom has a friend named Beth. I'M SURE YOU BRING SHAME TO THE NAME!"

"I lost my mom when I was little," she says sadly, hoping for sympathy, or even just a little more niceness. Tough shit.

"Yeah, I'm sure you did. But congrats, Beth, you have the most normal name! Which is what we start with. NAMES.

"Now, we all have names. Some are more normal than others. But you must not have too normal or too strange a name. For example, my name is Scarlet. This is because I have red fur and bright red eyes and markings. It is also because Scarlet has the word scar in it. WHICH IS WHAT YOU'LL HAVE AFTER WE'RE THROUGH HERE!

"Now, let's start with Azaria Lightning. Your name is too abnormal. Let's call you instead..." I ran through A names. "Alice Light. There, still pretty, not too normal, but nothing too fancy."

"But..." Alice looks slightly disappointed. She'll get used to it.

"But nothing!" I say. "That's your new name."

"But Alice has the word lice in it!"

"Oh," I say. "Yes, I see your problem. But I can't go with Abby, because it sounds like scabby."

"Fine," she mumbles.

"It's okay, Alice, your name is one of Nightsoul's favorites," I say, pretending that I could be nice, and to my surprise, I could.

"Callian," I say. I don't like her. I wish I was allowed to give her an ugly name, a name that was a tacky shade of gold, like Twix wrappers. But then again, I like Twix, and I didn't want to un-like it by thinking of her name every time I saw a Twix wrapper. I simply run through my C names and choose a nice name, though not as nice as Alice. "Carol Catalina Royce."

"What's wrong with Callian?" Carol asks, glaring.

"It's a good name, but feels like a bit much. I left your middle and last name alone. Feel grateful towards me. You're welcome, Carol."

"My name is Callian," she says.

"Carol."

"Callian."

"Carol."

"Callian!"

"Carol."

"CALLIAN!"

"Callian."

"Carol!" Carol looks confused, then angry at herself for being tricked.

"Okay, next is Wadjet. Okay, we've got some serious changing to do..." I rack my brain for W names. "Um... Willa Johnson." Random, but whatever.

"Next we have Cathy Elizabeth Nylon. I think you're fine, actually. Next is Beth Willow who... also... requires no name change..." I'm surprised to find that everybody had no more than three names each. Just one middle name for those who had them.

Guide Tip #1: Names

Never choose a name with more than one middle name or a name that's just a little too unique. Example: Alyssa Shimmeria River Susan Raven Wolfe

If the first and last name are okay, then shorten it to that. If you must have a middle name, choose the most normal. Example: Alyssa Susan Wolfe

If the first name is too fancy (many things with "ia" or "ea" at the end are) Example: Alyssamarienia Susanna Raven Forest Bella Renee Jacobson, choose one middle name, the most normal, and remove all others. Then take your middle name and replace the first name with it. Example: Renee Jacobsen.

Having trouble making up a last name? Take any male first name and put "son" behind it, and there is a good, normal last name. Example: Johnson, or Johnsson, or Jonson. You get the idea.

Remember, I'm still accepting students! Three more empty slots left! Again, sorry for taking so long. And sorry on behalf of Scarlet's mean-ness. Sorry if the way her brain works confuses you. Sorry for everything that you hate.