El Mano: review please it's my life force! Well here's a second chapter to Jokers Tale I hope you like the first, well here we go

Chapter 2: The Fallout

It wasn't long after the destruction of the Normandy that the crew fell apart. Councilor Anderson fought for a new ship to be built for me and the crew but it fell on the deaf ears of the other councilors. Luckily I was able to keep my specter status even though the Turian Councilor wanted me more than just grounded until the investigation cleared up. I kept Jokers Data Pad, even when the councilors wanted to have it considered evidence I was able to keep what was on it a secret due to Andersons involvement.

The people worshipped me and the alliance used my image as a poster board for recruitment purposes. But even as I was stuck on the citadel, the most beautiful space station in our space, I couldn't stop thinking about the Reapers, I've requested that I be able to pursue the trail but the Council refused my request every time and stating that it was a myth and sweeping all evidence under the rug and pretending that the attack on the citadel a little more than a year ago was just a Geth attack. Every time I asked I would become more frustrated until I finally gave up. But that didn't mean I would stop gathering and preparing for it.

I entered my apartment, it was Spartan just like a soldiers' apartment should be, but it wasn't the apartment that made me feel lonely, I missed all of them. Kaidan died in the line of duty and was awarded the Silver Star from the alliance, Ashely was recruited for N7 training and I haven't heard from her for the past 9 months, Garrus went to the Terminus System to hunt bad guys, Wrex went back to Tuchanka to reunite the clans and try to pacify his brethren, Liara drifted around a bit but disappeared after some time. She sends letters sometimes. Dr. Chakwas was sent to work on mars, and Tali went back to the Migrant fleet a hero. Everyone moved on with their lives, but she stayed the same, she caught bad guys, smugglers, serial killers and small time crooks but nothing made a difference in the loneliness she felt.

It wasn't that she couldn't get a man, there were plenty of offers and there were many times she tried to find a guy but no matter how perfect they seemed to be she just couldn't connect with them the same way she could with Jeff. There he was again; he was on her mind all the time. When she was walking around with a blank expression she imagined him smirking and making an off handed comment, when she couldn't sleep and made coffee she imagined him already having the coffee made and smiling knowingly. And when she curled up in her single sized bed she imagined him holding her in the night, the faint cologne he would wear, his beard tickling her neck, his warm arms holding her to him and his quiet snoring.

It was strange, sure he was attractive, and she really did care about him but she was scared around him, always scared that the slightest touch would break him, she realized the first time she had touched him was the night a week before the Normandy was going down. He was warm. She shook her head and willed the thoughts away. It wasn't fair how he did this to her now that he was gone. It definitely wasn't fair confessing to her like that and that night… when he made the tape, she touched him then. She smiled as she lost herself in her memory.

I held the camera as we walked at his pace down to the mess to get some coffee and have our nightly talks. It took us five minutes to get to the elevator but I didn't mind, I couldn't sleep anyway. As he leaned against the wall I took him in like every night we were together, he lifted his cap and I could see his green eyes shining at me, it warmed me a little whenever his eyes locked on mine. He smiled, I never really minded the beard, it just made Joker Joker. He had a deceptively strong body even if his bones were brittle, it was quite evident when he crossed his arms and his chest flexed. I turned my gaze upwards. I don't know if he knew I was looking but damn him and his… nicely toned muscles, that I just want to touch. "No bad shepard! He's your pilot for god sake… that I just want to touch just once, NO!" I caught his eyes and he flashed his grin. Yep he noticed. Luckily he didn't say anything, I don't know if I could keep my tone professional if he did.

Like usual he made the coffee because he said and I quote "stop making coffee, every time I come up here and drink some I feel like I'm getting the black lung with how burnt it tastes." So now he made coffee and for that I was grateful, my coffee really was horrible. He handed me my mug and I couldn't help but notice how his muscles moved under the shirt. "Move damn it." I stared a death glare at the shirt but that's when I saw that look on his face.

"Um commander it's just you and me up here." Joker looked around trying to see if there were any hidden crew members. My face turned a bright red or that's what it felt like as I realized I had said it out loud. I subtly tried to drown my embarrassment with a quick sip of coffee.

"Well how have you been Shepard?" Joker gave me that type of smile that makes me weak in the knees but I push all things Joker related from my mind.

"Fine, just the usual, Reapers want to kill us, the galaxy wants to kill us, and the council doesn't want to help us." So I've been a little stressed." I shrug my shoulders and avoid his stare and stir my coffee. Then I felt electricity rush up my arm and I couldn't help but gasp as his surprisingly rough hand which now covered mine slightly squeezed. I don't know when he became so bold, maybe he just saw that I was hiding more than I showed, maybe he just knew that the job was getting to me but what he said next tore down all my barriers.

"You don't have to do it alone Tera. I'll always be here to support you." Jokers' ever present was surprisingly absent and in front of her now stood a serious man who understood that she wanted to bear the weight of the universe but he wanted to support her, help her with the weight and not carry it for her. Before she knew it she had walked into him and tears dared to spill from her eyes. She felt his arms come around her shoulders and she just stood there crying into his shirt. She didn't know how long he was holding her or how long she cried into him but she did know that it felt good; there was something there that wasn't there with Kaidan, something that just warmed her to her core.

He didn't say anything, and in a way I guess that's just what I needed, someone who would just let me be a woman and not the great Commander Shepard or the Hero of the Citadel. "Tera" I nearly blushed when he said my name so… so huskily. I slowly lifted my head; I didn't notice my hands clung to his shirt as if I was afraid that if I let him go he'd be gone. I looked into his green eyes and I felt so embarrassed looking like a mess. Before I could apologize for his shirt he put his thumb on my lips and I couldn't help but want him to touch me more. His thumb outlined my lip and then went to my eye where the tear originated from.

"You don't have to say anything." He leaned forward and his lips claimed mine. It was soft, it was needed, it was tender, and a kiss that I didn't want to end… but I wasn't ready for it. I broke the kiss and I regretted it, his face told all.

"Joker… it's not that I don't want t..."

"It's fine Commander. I crossed a line and I'm sorry for compromising our work relationship." His face was stony and that's what shocked me the most. He always smiled at me and his voice was always soft and gentle, but now he just shut me out. He grabbed the camera and left. I thought about chasing after him but the side that was hurt, the side that said I wasn't done mourning Kaidan and that I wasn't ready to lose someone else stopped me. We left it at that and the next morning it was like nothing happened, but deep down we could feel the change, he wasn't as nice and I wasn't as open.

/real time/

I whipped the tears from my face as I came back from my daydream. "Stupid Joker." I mumbled. If he would've let me explain, maybe if she had followed him, maybe if she just kept on kissing him she wouldn't be so lost now. "Stop it" I told myself. If I kept questioning maybes or what ifs' to myself I would just go crazy the past was the past… but then why do I feel so empty. I looked out the window into empty space and wondered. I wonder if he ever found the stars so pretty and if he had ever wanted to watch them with me. I pulled my blanket over my shoulders and imagined his arms around me, his warm breath against my skin, his faded cologne and his beard slightly itching my skin. His warm lips around mine, it wasn't fair, not fair that she left him and didn't let her have the chance to say she loved him. She held back the tears and turned away from the stars. Falling into her bed she just wished that he could come back and she could tell him how she felt, and say sorry and try to make up for the hurt that she had given him and try to make him as happy as possible.

/

In a lab on a frozen planet, a young man screamed as his body changed. Doctor's stood all around as the quickly replaced heavily damaged tissue and other parts of his body with cloned genetic samples and replacements. The density weave strengthening his bones to normal human levels and his body becoming a mixture of both man and machine. Meanwhile a man stood above it all, he sat behind the glass, a small cigar burning in the darkness, his silver eyes shining with appraisal and confidence. A door slid open and a woman who could only be descried as perfect walked in, her heels clicking the ground with every step.

"the subject is accepting the implants rather well and we are getting a good feedback on his alpha and beta brain waves… in other words we're bringing him back rather successfully."

The man dashed his cigar and took another puff. "Good, make sure that the Weaves properly graft to his bones, we don't need him breaking another one for a long while."

The woman nodded but hesitated to leave. "What is it?" the man turned in his chair and looked directly into his second in commands eyes. The silver always made the woman shiver.

"Are you sure you want to spend so many credits on this one man? What could we possibly gain?" the woman walked next to her employer and down at the still screaming man.

The man smirked. "The best damn pilot in the Alliance fleet and if my other project goes well we may also acquire the assistance of one Tera Shepard." The woman turned sharply to her boss and looked him in the eyes.

"What makes you think that she would help us? After all she's done to destroy our organization we should be taking her down." Her eyes were filled with fire but the man just waved it off.

"She wants to fight the Reapers and she's been the only one to ever take one down."*inhale* *exhale* "the council is holding her back and humanity will need all the strength it has to defeat these Reapers." The man smirked as he said "and what better way to convince her we mean well, then bringing back her good friend Jeff "Joker" Moreau." The woman sighed and left. The man looked down as the doctors and surgeons finished their twelve hour procedure. Now all they would have to do is let him recover and inform one Tera Shepard of an offer he would like to extend to her and everything would fall into place.

El Mano: dun dun dun, what have they done to Joker, how will shepard feel about her person of affection has come back alive, and how will Joker take to rising from the dead? Stay tuned for more Mass Effect: Jokers tale. Remember I don't own anything and review!