Sorry for the long wait, but I had so much trouble writing anything of value. Seriously, it wasn't writers-block since I've had almost all of this planned out from the beginning, but I just couldn't get my thoughts to format themselves properly. I'm not even joking, my original version of this sucked beyond belief. I hope you find this worth the wait. And I'm also sorry for the length of it, but I didn't really think I could get it to you tonight if I tried to make it any longer.
Ugh, I can't freaking wait until tomorrow with the new Merlin, let me tell you I've lost some sleep because of that cliffhanger.
Arthur had never had any intention of getting rest like his father had said, but that didn't mean that he wasn't in severe need of it. He had briefly considered it, but had realized that going to bed this early would only mean waking up at some ungodly hour with a nightmare he couldn't shake from his mind.
But the question was what to do now? He couldn't go to sleep and didn't feel like he had the energy to sit by a dying Merlin's bed and wait for him to draw his last breath. But at the same time he knew that Merlin didn't have many left so maybe he should just go to him.
It still hurt—perhaps more than he would even admit to himself—the fact that Merlin was dying and that there was nothing he could do.
He still had no idea what to make of all that his father had said to him, but he knew now that he would give Merlin no trouble, a fact that was painfully ironic since the boy wouldn't live long enough for that anyway. It had almost felt like a hard slap to his face to hear that his father finally believed Merlin to be of some worth now that the manservant would probably never serve anyone again.
Not that Uther's opinion about Merlin had ever really mattered much to Arthur, but it was still a cruel twist of fate.
The prince was contemplating going for a walk and whether or not he would have the energy to complete it when yet another servant rushed up to him saying that he had urgent news.
"What is it?" Arthur half barked and half groaned. He really didn't think he could take any bad news at this point, or any more confusing conversations.
The servant looked slightly startled at the anger and exasperation in his tone but quickly moved on from it. "Gaius the physician told me to find you and send you to him; he said that it was a matter of great importance."
Almost before the boy was done talking Arthur began running for he feared that he knew what was wrong.
No, please, I'm not ready, Merlin can't be dead yet. Please let Merlin not be dead, please let Merlin not be dead. The frantic words spilled through his mind. After all of this he hoped that Merlin hadn't just up and died without him. He hadn't said goodbye, or how thankful he was, or that, all things considered, he really hadn't been that bad of a servant.
Only a few months ago he had thought Merlin to be the most annoying and disrespectful person alive and had known that the boy hated him. Now he wasn't sure what he'd do or how he'd react to seeing Merlin cold and dead and lifeless. He had finally started to get used to the ridiculous boy, he couldn't just die now, after drinking that poison for him, after enduring that torture for him.
Arthur had so many questions, 'why?' being one of them, and 'how?' being another.
Arthur was still so confused and he knew that Merlin couldn't die before answering some of his questions, before Arthur paid his immense debt to him. Even though the prince sincerely doubted that that would ever happen. To be tortured for someone was not an opportunity that arose often, and even if it did Arthur didn't think he could be nearly as brave as Merlin had been.
As he rushed towards the boy who was dying or possibly already dead his thoughts changed from coherent sentences to a single word repeated over and over again.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
And though it had only been moments after hearing the servant's message later that he had arrived in the room he now dreaded, to Arthur it felt like he had been running for ages and seemed to be getting nowhere. It had been like a bad dream, one he hadn't woken up from yet, and if Merlin died then he never would.
He burst into the room, immediately his eyes fixing on the place where he'd seen Merlin last. But he was not there. The bed was empty. Arthur frantically searched around with his eyes for any sign as to where he might be, his mind already supplying him with unwanted images.
Maybe he hadn't run fast enough and Merlin had already been carried out of the room by some guards to the area of the castle where all the dead were put before they could be properly buried. Maybe Gaius was already writing a letter to Merlin's mother, explaining to her about her son's death.
As he looked around every which-way in his desperate search for some proof, some small sign, that Merlin was not yet gone, Arthur faintly realized that he was starting to hyperventilate. He wasn't anywhere, Merlin was gone and he hadn't thanked him. He hadn't even been there for it.
His vision was going fuzzy and he felt light-headed but he kept looking, even though he knew that it was pointless.
Merlin was dead.
Arthur's heart stopped.
He sank to his knees as his sight began going black.
Merlin was dead.
Then an old but powerful hand gripped his shoulder with enough force to break him out of his cycle of shallow breathing. Arthur blearily stared up at Gaius, a man who looked extremely concerned but had no tears in his eyes. The prince dimly wondered way the old man wasn't beside himself with grief right now, but then again, maybe Arthur had been the only one to see Merlin's bravery and therefore the only one to know how much his life was worth.
"Gaius?" he croaked, but it wasn't really a question. It was more of a hopeless plea to be woken up from this horrible nightmare.
"Sire, are you alright? What's wrong?"
What's wrong? Everything is, Merlin is dead don't you get that?
"Here Arthur, you'd better sit down." He pushed the prince onto a stool. "I only sent for you to give you some good news, but maybe it's a good thing that you came in anyway. You look like you're about to pass out."
"What-what good news, Gaius?" Arthur didn't really find himself caring, but more asking automatically.
The wise physician seemed to be considering something, then stated. "It's really something you should see for yourself. I know you're not feeling well, but maybe this will brighten your spirits."
He gently but firmly helped Arthur up and then guided him up the few steps that led into Merlin's room. What used to be his room, Arthur thought.
He didn't really care what Gaius was doing, he was lost in a haze of nothing. But that soon changed.
Gaius opened the door and the sight that first met Arthur didn't make any sense. He wasn't sure what he was seeing. Maybe he'd finally lost it. Maybe this was just some wacky dream.
There was Merlin, lying on his stomach in his own bed, looking far better than Arthur could remember him looking since before the poisoning. Arthur's heart stopped again, and then started but this time at a much more normal pace. His breathing began to even out as if his lungs were suddenly bigger. His vision no longer seemed to be going on the fritz.
Merlin's alive.
Gaius noticed the change in Arthur immediately and a thought struck him that maybe his "urgent message" had been seen for the complete opposite that it was. He felt a cold stone of guilt fall into his stomach at the thought that perhaps Arthur had thought Merlin to be dead. It would explain why the prince had looked almost worse than Merlin had at any time throughout this whole thing.
He quickly sought to rectify his painful mistake. "I called for you because I have great news. Just a few hours ago Merlin started to get better; I believe that he's out of danger now. Merlin is going to be fine. I guess that it was just the darkness before the dawn; he just had to get worse before he got better. He's going to live."
"He's going to live." The words rang in Arthur's ears and again he couldn't quite understand them. His mind couldn't grasp that they meant that everything was going to be okay, that the nightmare had ended.
But as he looked down at Merlin he gradually began to accept that with ever-increasing joy. He no longer looked paler than death itself; his cheeks had regained almost all of their normal color, which unfortunately was never enough to begin with. He would have to fix that.
He could actually make out the boy's breathing now. He seemed to be resting and getting back his energy, unlike before where it had seemed as if it was being sucked out of him. And his face was far more peaceful-looking than he had ever seen it.
Arthur's shoulders relaxed. The muscles all over his body, which had been tense since that lunatic-of-a-sorcerer had kidnapped them, now released all of their stress. He sucked in a huge breath of air and it felt like the cleanest and most refreshing he'd ever had.
Merlin had won the battle for his life.
He was no longer in danger.
Merlin was going to live.
Arthur would get to ask him all those questions.
He'd get to say thank you.
Merlin was going to live.
The nightmare was over.
Now to deal with the land of the living, which had its own kind of struggles and joy.
Yay! I gave arthur some happiness finally. And for anyone who was wondering yes I did pay homage to 4.01 because it was so awesome. I hope you like it and don't think it too out of character. I personally think that they've never really done anything like this in the show, and considering his reaction to poisoned Merlin, I think that this was pretty normal. Plus he's still exhausted and confused and really very emotionally whumped.
Oi! Just a heads up, I might be writing a sort of oneshot about 4.02 if I can find something in it that suits my fanfiction writing requirments. It may not be posted as a chapter for "Merlin Never Lies" because it may not fit with that. But keep a look out for it since I already have some ideas and will hopefully write it.
Oh, and I started a new Merlin community. It's basically all about whumping and bromance, so if you want to take a look.
Thank you to all who have reviewed and made me want to keep you reviewing. Hey, why don't we see if we can get to 200 reviews by the time this is finished, (I still don't know when that will be.) See you hopefully quite soon.