This little note is for everyone who has reviewed to my story:
I would like to say thank you so much for supporting my story and making it better. You're the best! So here is a list of people I want to say thanks to: Lionnara, Louisvuittonfreak, lcb09271991, brikaspoms, sexymama25, Edward's spouse, and FiveStarReader.
If I accidentally spelled your names wrong I am sorry, but many thanks to you. Okay so here is your knew chapter please review and tell me what you think please!
Chapter 18
I have been trying to find time to talk to Eli alone for a while, but it just never seems like the right time. Plus Edward was already antsy about me being around him since he killed me and brought me back to life. Also to make this just even more perfect Eli is staying in the room next to mine and Edward! Isn't that swell… no, no it's really not. Eli has been here for two days now and when he sleeps he asks for me to shield him. I didn't know why and honestly one time I almost got so curious that I was going to take it down and ask Edward about his thoughts. I respect him to much though and I will do as he asks and because of this I have to hunt in the day where I don't have very much time.
In the day time I have school and then I come home I do whatever plans we have that involve the entire family. After that I would have some much needed alone time with Edward. Speaking of alone time with our alone time our trip has been put off. Alice sees Eli being here for seven more days so she rearranged everything, such as the flights we had to this secret place no one wants to tell me about.
I appeared in Eli's door this morning against the frame. I noticed that he was deep in thought and I stood and waited for him to snap out of it. Once he noticed me in the door way he smiled and got up and walked over to me.
"Good morning Bella, what brings you to me on this fine morning? I would think you would be with Edward he never leaves your side." He chuckled to himself for a short second. I took in a short breath and didn't try to beat around the bush this time.
"Eli, we need to talk." I said in a serious tone. His head snapped up and his eyes met mine for a second and seemed top burn mine in doing so. I turned away not able to let him see just how scared I was about this talk we were just about to have. I took his hand in mine and I rushed us out the door and ran down stairs and as we passed Edward I kissed him in the cheek and said "See you later." I ran through the forest out of hearing distance and just in case Edward could still hear Eli's thoughts I wrapped the shield around him.
"That was the fastest I have ever moved." Eli said out of breath and I realized I practically dragged him his cloths all muddy with a few holes.
"Sorry." I looked down. "Okay Eli I need to speak about what happened five years ago. Don't try to interrupt please I just need to get this out." I took a peek at Eli to see him nod so I continued. "I am so sorry. I had no idea what I was doing at the time I guess I just felt so low of myself at the time and I shouldn't have tried to use you like I did. I sickens me just the thought of what I did." I shook my head and turned my back to him. "I am happy that you could read me so well and stopped it from happening because if I had gone through with it I would feel so guilty and thinking what I would have put Edward through if it did happen. Edward is so understands and kind that is what makes him so amazing… well part of the reason… but anyway of it had turned out the way it did without you stopping it I don't think he would be able to look at me. Most of all I would have felt so guilty of taking advantage of you and using you. I never thought I would do something so shallow. So I can understand if you don't want to be my friend anymore. I am also sorry I didn't try to find you sooner to tell you this. So go ahead you can leave if you want I don't want you to feel like you have to stay."
I heard him sigh and take a step toward me and I took a step away. I didn't want him to see my face. "Bella I don't blame you I can understand. Don't feel bad Bella. You are always taking the blame and putting yourself down. Truth is you have been the best friend to me if anything I am overjoyed to hear you still think of me as a friend and that the friendship we had before wasn't just an act like the… well you know the thing that happened. Bella please look at me." He breathed the last part and I could hear vulnerability.
I turned to him and saw him it was like he was practically begging for me to go to him like he needed as much comfort as me. I hugged his so tight and I realized he couldn't breathe so I loosened my grip. After a long moment I pulled away.
"You know you are an amazing friend." I smiled and ruffled his hair.
"Thanks Bells so are you." We sat and I listened to everything he has been doing in the past five years. He had gone to every single country in the world and learned how to speak two other languages Spanish and Italian. "So what about you Bells how is everything going for you and Edward?"
All of a sudden my thoughts became consumed with images of Edward and our memories. His beautiful honey eyes his velvet voice….
"Bella!" Eli yelled shaking my shoulders. I felt my lips pulled up in the tightest smile ever.
"Oh, oops sorry!" I laughed and Eli joined in. "I was just thinking."
"So I'm guessing things are going well."
"Yah this coming week end we are going on vacation that everyone else knows where except me! It is driving me crazy I don't like surprises, but I'm sure I will love it because Edward will be there. Wow I sound so sappy!" I threw my hands in the air and fell on my back into the wet and muddy grass, but I didn't care. "He just makes me so happy its serial."
"I am really happy for you Bella he is an amazing guy. Even though he only ever glares at me I can see his reason. Because I can control light in other word a soul well… at least only when their body is dead, I can still feel the presence of it and can tell how pure a soul is. I see dark things in it, but mostly only from a time in his past, but is soul is so pure you have no idea. He might have done some bad things, but his outlook on life and how he treats it is so pure…do you know what I mean." Eli was lying next to me now and I could see that he was struggling for the right words.
I turned my head to him and gave him a small smile. "Yah, I know what you mean." I stood up and extended my hand. "We should be getting back you need to eat and all this talk about Edward is making me miss him a lot." I laughed. He grabbed my hand. "This time I don't think I will drag you so I am going to carry you." I picked him up bridal style and ran. We were both muddy so I didn't care if his muddy cloths were getting on mine. I looked down to see his face having a bewildered expression.
When we got to the clearing where the house was I put Eli down and ran inside and saw Edward in the living room. I ran straight to him and he turned around just in time for me to jump in his arms. I pressed my lips to him giving him a kiss showing how much I missed him even though we had been gone for three hours I still missed him so much! I could feel him smiling against my lips. Edward put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me away about a foot.
"I missed you so much, but you are all muddy! I mean look at what you did to my cloths Alice will not be happy." I took a second to look at what I had done to Edward and indeed his cloths were ruined.
I shrugged my shoulders. "Oh well." I gave him one last peck on the lips and intertwined our fingers. We ran upstairs into our closet. I picked out a nice sun dress. I took a shower and changed and then Edward did. We went down stairs and saw Eli eating lunch. Esme had made him. I sat next to Eli. "How's the food?" I asked. He was scarfing it down like he has never had anything to eat in his entire life.
"Bella, I know that I am usually a gentleman, but this food is so damn good!" I raised an eyebrow and laughed.
"Esme! Eli used a bad word!" I heard Alice yell from the couch. What? Since when does Alice care about that?
Esme stuck out her had in front of Eli. "Again? Gosh I really do not like this vampire hearing." He took a dollar out of his pocket and gave it to Esme.
"Uhhh… what's going on?" I asked.
"I am not like this inappropriate use on language in my house. So whenever someone cusses they have to pay a dollar well if you use the 'F' word you have to pay two dollars." Esme looked up and smiled at me and pulled out a big glass jar from the sink that was practically filled to the top with money.
"Holy sh-Chicago where the heck did all that come from already?" There was maybe a hundred dollars in there.
"Most of that is from Emmett of course." She laughed. Yes, of course it would be. I just ignored it and went over to the couch with Alice when I saw the piano in the corner. I realized that I hadn't played in such a long time. I touched the keys lightly remembering a song Eli and I sang together. I sat down and started to play the into with the piano and I saw Eli's eyes perk up and he looked at me as I stared to sing.(This song is called Again by Bruno Mars and Natasha Bedingfield)
Me:
Hands over my head thinking "what else could go wrong"?
Wouldve stayed in bed, how can a day be so long?
Eli came over and started singing his part:
Never believed that things happen for a reason
But how this turned out, you moved all my doubts, So believe
That for you I'll do it all over again
Do it all over again
All I went through, led me to you
So I'd do it all over again
For you
Everyone was in the living room by now and I kind of felt like this was some high school musical, but I liked it me and Eli kept singing our parts and I saw that outside and inside Eli had turned the lights off and put on a little light show. Yes cheesy and I almost started laughing:
I missed the first train, stood out in the rain, all day
Little did I know
When I caught the next train, there you were to sweep me away
Guess thats what I've waited for
Never believed that things happened for a reason
But how this turned out, you moved all my doubts, So believe
That for you I'd do it all over again
Do it all over again
All I went through, led me to you
So I'd do it all over again
(Ohh) Who ever thought a day gone so wrong, would turn out so lovely?
Im so glad I found you
Even though the day went so wrong, I wouldnt change a thing (yeah, yeah, oh I'd do it)
I'd do it all over again
Do it all over again
All I went through, led me to you
So I'd do it all over again (yeah, yeah ohhh)
I'd do it all over again (I'd do it all over, I'd do it all over)
Do it all over again (I'd do it all over for you, for you)
all I went through, led me to you (all I went through, it led me to you)
so Id do it all over again (over again)
Who ever thought a day gone so wrong, could turn out so lovely ohh
Who ever thought a day gone so wrong, could turn out so lovely
After it was done I smiled and started laughing. "I didn't think you would remember!" I gave Eli a quick hug. "We still got it." He laughed along with me and I turned to see the family with mouths hanging open.
Alice was the first to speak "Who wrote that? That was brilliant!" Alice squealed. I pointed to myself.
"I did and Eli helped doing the finishing touches so I decided that he should sing it to." I shrugged it off like it was nothing.
""When did you write it? And who is it about?' Alice winked.
"I wrote it about five years ago of course and of course about Edward." I smiled and everyone awed even Emmett! All of a sudden two arms wrapped around me and I felt someone's soft gentle lips against mine. Knowing it was Edward I kissed back and pulled away.
"I love you Bella. I would do it all again to." He whispered and I giggled.
"I love you to."
"Okay, okay getting a little too mushy for me." Emmett said and I had forgotten about everyone else. If I could still blush I would be bright red.
"Hey Emmett?" I asked walking over to him.
"Yes?"
"I have not yet mastered the art of taking down a grizzly wanna help me?" I really did want to they did scare me even though I knew that they couldn't harm me.
"Absolutely!" He swung me over his shoulder and almost into the forest when Alice stopped him and told him that I was supposed to have a girl's day with her. Emmett let me down to argue with Alice. I did need to hunt, but I did promise Alice I would have a girl's night with her.
"Emmett its fine we will go some other time I did promise Alice." He hung his head and muttered "Fine."
"He will get over it come on Bella." She smiled triumphantly and we walked back to the house. As we were about to go upstairs Edward stopped Alice and looked at me.
"Bella you can go on up I just want to ask Alice something really quickly if that is alright?" He did that dazzling thing and I didn't question it and said yes, but didn't quite walk up yet because I didn't trust my knees.
"Why must you always do that to her?" Alice asked and I snapped out of it and went to Alice's room. Not even five seconds later Alice walked in jumping up in down in excitement.
"So where do we start! We haven't done this in so long I almost forget where to start!" Rosalie walked in behind Alice seeming pretty happy that we were going to all be spending time together.
We all dressed up in multiple outfits the classic ones, the casual ones, and the ones you would where out in a club. We did different make up for them to. It just felt like a great girl's night which I thought I would never say. Finally we were just relaxing and painting our nails. Rosalie did the usual blood red which I couldn't blame for doing that color every time it looked great on her. Alice did a dark purple that was called mystical and truly it was simple, but some mysterious look about it. Wow I am starting to sound like some artist looking for the meaning behind a photo or painting. Then Alice started painting my nails a midnight blue that was probably my favorite color.
"So," Alice began while our nails were drying. "Jasper and I were looking to renew our vows again. We do it every twenty years, but I want it to feel special and not like some routine that we just do you know? So I was looking for some advice you know some new outlook or perspective on the whole marriage, renewing vows thing. So Bella what do you think?"
My head shot up in surprise. "You want my opinion?" Alice nodded. "Well… for me marriage has never seemed too important it's just a piece of paper to prove your love for another, and I never like the idea of having to prove it if you feel that way you do. Now my perspective has changed some. I think that it's a way to tie yourself completely to another. Loving someone you want them in every way, right? You never feel like you close enough to the person. Marriage is showing that two people became one forever and without that connection you will feel somewhat detached slightly. Now renewing vows… I don't think it is necessary. I wouldn't want it to be a big deal. I like small weddings because there is too much attention in a big one, it should be more intimate same thing with renewing vows. I say if renewing vows is what you want to do to feel closer do it, but just make it special for the two of you." I said hoping that it came out in a way she could understand.
I looked up to see Alice's face. She had a big smile plastered on. "What?" I asked her stare was starting to creep me out.
"Perfect." She said simply and gave me a big hug. I am so confused!
"Yah, but I thought you liked big weddings and ceremonies. What I said was just my opinion."
"Oh I do, but I think the part about the vows is really nice, but what you said is perfect for… never mind." She put her head down.
"Perfect for what Alice?" I asked, but she just shook her head. Oh great now I am more confused!
I saw Alice perk up once again. "Time for the last outfit!" Alice exclaimed.
"Yah if you can even call it an outfit." Rosalie mumbled.
Alice came out with a ball of lace and threw it at me. I looked at it and realized that it was some "sexy" lingerie. I threw it back at her. "Alice there is no way." I said crossing my arms around my chest she was not wining on this one.
"Come on Bella! Just this once maybe it will convince Edward to have-" I cut Alice short.
"Alice it isn't like he needs convincing… well I don't know maybe he just doesn't want to, but I do know that he is very old fashioned and I am not going to push him. It's very disrespectful to him." I felt bad not that Alice was saying that he needed convincing. Was I not good enough? No I was Edward loves me in every way… right?
"Bella, it doesn't hurt to try right? He just needs that push to do it. It will be okay. This will totally convince him." Alice smiled and held up the lace once again that barley looked like it would cover anything. I had thought about what Alice had said for a second I first thought about showing Edward just how great I could look and that I could show him and I would convince him, but then I felt bad about myself for thinking it. First because I would be thinking about it like I did when I was attempting to get back at him with Eli, second I now felt bad and self-conscious about myself and I didn't feel good enough, and thirdly I was again thinking of disrespecting Edward and trying to push him. I felt like I was breaking inside and could see Alice pick up her phone and heard the numbers beep as she pushed them. No, no she was calling Edward to come back from hunting! He can't see me right now I am not good enough for him and now I see it and it only took a few words.
I ran out of the room Alice yelling for me. I flew past Esme, Carlisle, and Eli in the living room out the door. I ran in the opposite direction Edward would be coming from hunting and through the woods once again. I started sobbing and after about ten minutes it became so much that I stopped and his behind a tree and tried to become so small I could become hidden in the kinda sorta tall grass. I let my feelings over take me as I sobbed uncontrollably and wished that tears could fall from my eyes warm and comforting, but they never came.
So what do you guys think? Please review and thank you so much for you patience and reviewing it means a lot I will try to update soon everything has been SO busy and stressful it is hard to find time so in the meantime review and give me that push to keep going because if I don't I know that I will feel really bad that I don't later on and I know it had already been maybe a month and a half since the last chapter and I don't want to be one of those people who only gets out 12 chapters a year so wish me luck in life so that I can do this story and balance everything out nicely. I also hope everyone else is doing well so please review and thanks so much!