Disclaimer: Unquestionably not mine.
A/N: Written for Cypsiman2. The challenge was for me to write a fic based on a song, but only in the timespan of the song as it played. Cypsiman2 wanted 'I Love You, Sincerely', a haunting instrumental piece from Xenosaga 3. It can be found on YouTube under that name and I heartily recommend giving it a listen.
I Love You, Sincerely
© Scribbler, October/November 2011.
There are moments, and there are the times between them. Moments are when things happen. Events belong in moments – the life-altering kind and the ordinary ones that happen every day. The times between are when you know things are about to happen, or they have already happened and you are frantically trying to process them. Moments are for sounds, tastes, smells, sights, touches, plus every other sensation not perceivable by the five senses.
The screech of metal.
A ceaselessly blaring horn.
The acrid stench of fuel spilling on asphalt.
Moments are stuffed with palpable things.The times between are for thoughts and feelings.
Like fear.
Like realisation.
Like regret.
Yuugi ran. Two dogs strained on their leashes to yip crazily as he blew past. Some young mothers pushing strollers blinked in surprise when he dodged through them like a slalom-skier and hopped over the side of the ornamental bridge over the stream. Running along the bank cut out part of the journey and got him there faster. The only problem was getting over the side of the wall at the other end. It involved smooth white stone and avoiding the beady eye of the park keeper, who hated teenagers and took every opportunity to throw them out for the slightest infringement of his precious rules. Yuugi couldn't afford that today.
Music swelled in the distance. Yuugi desperately grabbed for the edge, but his fingertips just missed every time. His shortcut may have cost more than it saved.
Suddenly someone grabbed him by the armpits and hauled him up.
"Up you go," Jounouchi grunted from behind him.
"Man, for a little guy, you can really move," Honda added, boosting Yuugi's ankles and all but throwing him over the top of the wall. "Quit trying to leave us in your dust, okay?"
Yuugi would have said something conciliatory, but he was too intent on making the last dash to the top of the hill. He hoped he had guessed correctly. If he was wrong …
He wasn't wrong.
His steps slowed and stopped when he was still several feet away. Domino City's open-air amphitheatre stretched below like something from a painting. Floodlights bathed its centre, where girls in tutus twirled like dolls inside a music box. Several waved scarves as part of a complicated dance in which they wove in and out without ever seeming to touch the gauzy fabric. You could tell their steps were ridiculously fast even at this distance. To those who had paid to sit in the theatre itself, it must have been breath-taking.
The figure in the wheelchair turned to look at Yuugi. Her face was tearstained. She was rubbing at her cheeks, as if that would hide it. His heart convulsed, but not from running.
"Oh God," she mumbled. "How did you know where to find me?"
"This was …. your graduation … recital," he panted. Or it would have been. He took a breath, let it out slowly and said in a less frenetic tone, "Your mom called. She said you were missing. She's down there looking for you."
Anzu turned away. "I didn't mean to worry her," she said tonelessly.
Yuugi's heart thumped in his chest. He was aware of footsteps behind him as Honda and Jounouchi approached, but he had eyes only for Anzu. She seemed far too small, her legs covered by a tartan blanket and her hunched shoulders covered with a thick coat. Muddy furrows in the grass showed where she had left the path and forced the motor of her chair to climb. This hill provided a good view that couldn't be spotted by the dancers.
She fisted the blanket. "They sent tickets. I didn't want them." She sounded angry. "I think they thought I'd be gratefulor something."
Yuugi came to stand beside her. He couldn't think what to say. Maybe it didn't matter.
"They're so beautiful," Anzu said bitterly. "It's all so beautiful. I hate it."
"No you don't," Jounouchi said.
"NO," she agreed after a tense moment. "I don't. That's the worst part." She gave a short, barking laugh, not sounding a thing like herself. "Well, not the very worst."
Her knuckles were blanched white against the tartan. It was the work of a moment for Yuugi to put his hand on hers. The space between that moment and the next, when she turned her palm upwards and laced their fingers, felt as long as the one after he woke up in an overturned car and wished they had caught the later flight home from Egypt. If they had, they would not have been on the freeway outside Domino when a truck overturned and caused the worst pile-up in the city's history. He would not have had to sit in a hospital waiting room, and later outside a physiotherapy unit, only to be told the most awful news both times.
"Thank you," Anzu whispered.
A thousand thoughts swept through Yuugi's mind. There was so much he wanted to say. He wanted to confess feelings he had sworn never to voice, to apologise again, to lie and tell her it would all be okay, to scream, to cry, to laugh that they were all still alive and that after surviving magical torture and life-threatening out-of-body-experiences, a mundane traffic accident had nearly wiped them all out. Instead, his only response was a reassuring squeeze.
It wasn't enough. It never would be.
"So beautiful …" Anzu murmured, her eyes fixed in the middle-distance.
Together, they listened to the music and watched the dancers dance.
Fin.