Martha stormed out of the TARDIS with a high-pitched sound that perfectly embodied impatience. She stomped into the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea. She found Jack and Ianto at the coffee pot. Wordlessly she went about making her tea. She could feel Jack's eyes on her.
"He's still at it then?" Jack finally broke the silence.
"It's your fault!" Martha snapped. "You've spoilt him rotten and now I can't even get him to eat anything but Toffee Dodgers and sardines with jam! He won't bathe! He won't even get up and exercise, Jack! You know what that Nostrovite toxin did to his muscle tissues! You've got to stop coddling him and letting him push us all around! What's gotten into him?"
"I don't know! When I try to talk to him he gives me this line…says if I don't know then I'm not paying attention."
"Oh, God, Jack, you really are thick sometimes," Martha sighed and rolled her eyes. "Don't you get it?" She faced him, hands on hips, mouth a grim line of disapproval.
"What? How am I supposed to know?" Jack asked, holding his hands out palms-up in the classic damned-if-I-know gesture.
"Jack," Ianto said. "You're kidding, right? When a lover says that, it's always the same thing. He means you aren't giving him the attention he wants!"
"I give him attention!" Jack said, voice pitched high with indignation. "Every night I read to him, I hold him, I tell him how happy I am he seems to begetting better."
"That isn't the kind of attention he needs, you big pillock." Ianto said.
"Then what kind of attention should I give him? We only just got started when all hell broke loose!"
"I don't know," Martha said. "That's for the pair of you to sort out."
"In my own defense I've been up to my neck in paperwork. I fell behind when he was so sick."
"And you've all but caught up by now," Ianto countered. "Take some time away from your desk and go sort this out."
Jack stood quietly, arms crossed and staring into the middle distance, deep in thought. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair in exasperation. "Ah, jeez!" he said. "You're right, Martha. And Ianto. I've been handling him with kid gloves." He sipped his coffee, frowning, clearly feeling miserable. "And I have a sneaking suspicion about the attention he's wanting as well. He's been pushing my buttons. Even through the rest of you, that's what he's been doing, and I've been too worried about him and too deep in paperwork to see it. I'll sort this. Be back in a bit. And whatever any of you do…do not disturb us, will you? I'm hoping there won't be a shouting match, but there could be." He put down his cup a bit too abruptly. Coffee slopped out on the counter as he strode towards the TARDIS.
"I know that walk," Ianto said, grabbing a paper towel and cleaning up the mess. "The Doctor is in for a word or two, if I know Jack."
"And Jack may be in for a bit of lip in return, if I know the Doctor," Martha said.
"I'm not so sure of that," replied Ianto. "You didn't see the Doctor when he got here. I've not seen him like this before. He was so down, wouldn't leave Jack's side for a minute. He was getting a lot of attention from Jack and now, since he's been bedridden things have changed. He's been stuck in bed when he wants to be with Jack."
"And you think that's what's got his knickers in a twist?"
"I'd bet my stopwatch on it."
"I'm sure your right," Martha said. "But I'll tell you something else he's not getting from Jack, if I have to spell it out."
"Apparently Jack hasn't made love to the Doctor since he came out of that coma, or whatever it was. You should have seen him after their first night as lovers, Martha. I've never seen the Doctor so happy. Now he's feeling neglected both as a spouse and sexually."
"So we've both come to the same conclusion then," Martha said. "Somehow I never imagined the Doctor to be the type to crave sexual attention. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe under all that indifference he was like a volcano waiting to erupt. And this is Jack we're talking about. Think that's it? That there's nothing else wrong? The Doctor just wants his honeymoon back?"
"I'd bet my stopwatch and my measuring tape on it."
Jack couldn't help feeling a bit nervous. This was their first conflict as lovers, and they had only just begun that journey. It seemed so unfair. This would in no way stop him; this relationship, so hard-won, was one he would happily endure any struggle for to keep it as good as it possibly could be. He took a deep breath and strode to the med bay. No sooner had he entered when the Doctor looked at him, left brow raised almost mockingly.
"Well, well, he said. "He finally bothers to show up! Probably because I made Martha angry."
Jack went to the side of his bed. He didn't sit—he knew the psychological advantage lay with the one at the greatest height. "Yeah, in fact you did make her angry. I asked you to please be more cooperative. Asking isn't working. She's been trying to get you better. And you've not been doing anything she's wanted you to do. You wouldn't even get up and shower."
"Why the hell should I? What am I going to do but lie here and rot!"
"Start smelling, for one thing," Jack shot back. "And what's up with you not eating right? Nothing but Toffee Dodgers and sardines with jam? You want to get well, you have to eat right and you have to exercise."
"So you've come to give me a list of infractions? Really?" The Doctor glared at Jack, left brow raised in irritation. "Or are you just bored? What's wrong? Run out of paperwork?" He crossed his arms angrily, a sarcastic little smirk on his lips.
"In fact, no, I haven't, I still have catching up to do. But I took time out to come in here and sort you out."
"Sort me out? Sort me out? Oh, I see! She must have run to you in tears, then, eh?" The Doctor snorted in derision, rolling his eyes.
"Stop it! You know Martha better than that. Shame on you! And you can just stop pushing my team around while you're at it. You go much further and they'll never speak to you again."
"You don't have time to spend with me unless it's to bless me out for being the big, bad Time Lord with your little minions? Just go back to your paperwork and your team, will you? It's pretty clear you only came in here to give me a good scolding. Which I do not need."
"No, I've come because I love you and I'm going to put things right between us. And apparently you do so need a scolding! Because I'm pretty sure I know what's behind this. And it stops now, mister. Listen up. I'm going to ask you once and once only. Will you get up and shower?"
The Doctor glowered, rolled over, turned his back on Jack.
"All right, then," Jack said, frowning. "If you're going to act like a two year old then I'll treat you like a two year old." He scooped up the Doctor in his arms and threw him over one shoulder.
Time Lords, Jack discovered, can squawk just as indignantly as any human can. "Put me down!" Yep. Very good example of a squawk. "Damn it Jack! You can't do this!" He struggled, kicking his heels until Jack delivered a hard slap to his squirming backside. The Doctor squawked again, but it worked. He stopped struggling and let himself hang limply over Jack's shoulder, only moving to rub his stinging bottom.
"I can and I am," Jack assured, voice dangerously calm; he headed to the bathroom. Once there, he put the Time Lord on his feet. The Doctor made to walk around Jack to get to the door. Jack blocked his way. "No." He pointed towards the shower stall. "You, mister, are getting a bath. No ifs, ands or buts, and no excuses." The Doctor tried to walk around Jack again. Again, Jack blocked his indignant egress. This time he took the Doctor by the upper arms and frog-marched him towards the shower. He turned the Doctor so they stood face to face, and, not giving the Time Lord a moment to protest, began untying his dressing gown, snatching it off and letting it fall to the floor around the Doctor's bare feet. The Doctor batted at Jack's hands.
"At least give me the dignity to undress myself," he groused.
Jack grasped his wrists and gently but firmly guided them down to each side of his body. "No," he said. "You had your chance and you decided to act like a child, so now you're being treated like one. I'm doing this."
He went back to undressing his lover, unbuttoning the Doctor's pyjamas. A surreptitious glance told Jack what he needed to know: there it was; a spark behind the eyes, and the Doctor's body suddenly relaxed by several degrees. Right, then. Jack had been correct. The Time Lord had rebelled because of the lack of Jack's leadership, like a little boy acting out because Daddy let him have his way a few times too often. Well, he would soon fix that.
He slid the pyjama top off the Time Lord's shoulders and let it drop to the floor. "I made a mistake I won't make again," he said. "I knew you wanted me in charge and because I was so scared by what happened to you I let it go. I stopped being in charge for you when I knew you needed it and had even asked me to do. I let you down, sweethearts. And now you feel like a ship without an anchor and you're acting out because of it." He slid the Doctor's bottoms off where they joined the top in a puddle of fabric.
"That ends now. Undress me," Jack said, looking the Doctor straight in the eye. He heard the Doctor's breath hitch just the slightest bit. He stepped close to Jack, lips slightly parted, eyes at half-mast and slid off Jack's braces. His hands trembled as he fumbled with Jack's shirt buttons, but Jack showed no mercy. The Doctor was now sliding Jack's trousers down, looking at his husband with a mixture of shyness and eagerness. Jack turned on the water, letting the TARDIS set the temperature. He frog-marched the Doctor into the stall.
Jack grabbed a bottle of gel. It was the Doctor's favorite, a blue-green substance that smelled vaguely of some mysterious spice Jack couldn't name. It doubled as a shampoo, so Jack worked it into the Doctor's hair, fingers gently massaging his scalp. The Doctor moaned pleasurably while still trying to maintain a pout. Jack had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from chuckling. He grabbed the showerhead and removed it from its bracket to rinse.
That done, he squirted a generous dollop of gel onto a bath-sponge and began to soap up his lover from head to toe with firm but gentle stokes of the sponge. Once the Doctor was covered in fragrant bubbles he dropped the sponge and rubbed the flat of his hands across every inch of skin, fingers working into every crevice, crease and angle, one finger dipping into the Time Lord's navel gently then working the soap into the crack of the Doctor's ass. Once again, he grabbed the showerhead and rinsed, taking care to wash away every trace of soap.
Handing the sponge and shower gel to the Doctor, he said, "Now you do me."
The Doctor bit his lower lip, an amused look in his eye. He washed Jack's hair and rinsed it, then proceeded to wash Jack's body, sudsing him up with the sponge, imitating everything his husband had done to him, then rinsing Jack thoroughly.
Jack turned off the water and guided the Doctor out of the shower. As expected, the TARDIS had supplied them with a stack of thick, soft, fluffy towels. Jack grabbed one and began to dry his lover, tousling his hair with the towel first. He even knelt and dried each toe individually. He then grabbed a towel for himself, dried his hair, and then wrapped the towel around his waist. Without preamble, he scooped up the Doctor and carried him to his bed. He sat beside the Doctor, pulling him into his lap.
"Do you know what I want to do right now?" Jack asked.
The Doctor leaned into him. "I hope you want to make love to me." He replied, tracing a finger around in a circle on Jack's chest.
"That's exactly what I want to do," he murmured. He gently kissed the Doctor's cheek. "But it's not what we're going to do. That's for later."
"What are we going to do, then?" The Time Lord continued to doodle little circles and symbols on Jack's chest.
"I want you to shave and get dressed. Ianto and Martha are going out. We've done a lot of things, but I haven't gotten to take you out on a proper date. I know a place run by this little old Italian couple, makes the best lasagna you ever tasted. We get a good, hot, proper meal in you; I take you on a spin while the juke-box plays…who knows? If you behave yourself, when we get back? Well, I think I can give you what you've been wanting. That's what's been wrong, hasn't it?"
The Doctor nodded shyly, continuing to doodle on Jack's chest. "I can smell it on people, you know. Martha and Ianto, Gwen and Rhys. Everyone has been getting loved except us." He looked up at Jack from where his head rested above Jack's heart. His lower lip quivered a little. "We only had one night, Jack. Just one, and everyone else gets to make love all they want and I…I just want us to be together again."
Jack placed his fingers under the Doctor's chin and tipped his head back, dipped his own head and took a kiss. Not one of his 'you've been hurt and I was so worried' kisses either. A good, proper, patented Jack Harkness kiss, one tailored especially for his beautiful Time Lord. "Don't you worry, sweethearts. If you seem well enough after we go out, I'll make it up to you. Promise."
The Doctor smiled sweetly, but with just a hint of naughty humor. "I'll be good and eat all my dinner. Cross my hearts." He batted his eyelashes outrageously.
Laughing heartily, Jack caught the finger the Doctor had been tracing on his chest with. "You were doodling in Gallifreyan, weren't you?" He brought the tip of the Doctor's finger to his lips, kissing and nibbling it.
The Doctor blushed a little and nodded.
"What did it say?" Jack said, kissing the top of his head.
"I was writing my name," he replied.
"Your true name?" Jack asked.
The Doctor nodded. "I told it to you that first night. But you didn't understand it. You mustn't tell anyone. Not ever. It's for you and me only…and it's the only time I would ever say it. The night we became pair-bond-mates. I bet you thought I was talking dirty in Gallifreyan."
"Wasn't sure…thought you'd translate for me, but you didn't. Now I know." He bent and kissed the Doctor again. "Bet I can make you say it again tonight."
"I'll hold you to that, husband," replied the Doctor. "And I promise, I'll behave. Just…don't ignore me any more?"
"Not on your life!"
"Can Gwen and Rhys come too? Make it a triple date?"
"Someone has to stay here and keep an eye on things. But we can go out with them next time," Jack murmured into the Doctor's still-wet hair. "Now go and get yourself ready, yeah?" He gave the Doctor a nudge. The Time Lord stood, giving Jack an adoring look, then swaggered off to the bathroom to finish his ablutions.
"And you," he looked over his shoulder at Jack. "Get ready. I can't wait!"
Jack leaned against the bed, watching him walk away, a fetching wriggle to his bottom beneath the damp towel. He grabbed his clothing and left the TARDIS, strolling un-self-consciously past his friends in nothing but a towel and a smug smile.
As he walked past Martha and Ianto he said, "Get ready, you two. The pair of you, me, and the Doctor. Double date. Cuore della Casa."
Ianto grinned. "You'll love it," he said to Martha. "And I'm thinking things are going to only get better now."
Cuore della Casa turned out to be small and intimate with a little jukebox in the corner and a small empty space that had to make do as a dance floor. Jack led the Doctor to a table in the back, hand at the small of his lover's back. He pulled out a chair in a chivalrous manner and seated the Time Lord, then bent and kissed his cheek.
The Doctor's eyes flitted around the room. "Is that all right?" he asked worriedly. "This is still the 21st century…aren't there still homophobes around?"
Ianto reached across the table and patted the Doctor's hand. "They know us here," he said. "Jack and I rescued their grandson from a couple of Neanderthals once. He's bisexual and ran into some trouble at a club. A pair of bullies followed him. He was trying to get back here where he would be safe. Jack and I could hear them calling him names and threatening to castrate him. We put a stop to it and escorted him safely here. Since then, this place has been a favorite of ours. The Castangnas have helped us out a few times, giving refugee aliens jobs in the back where they won't be singled out. And everything here is delicious. Jack's favorite is their lasagna. I know it sounds run-of-the-mill. And then…you taste it. It really is great."
"Don't worry," Martha added. "I'm sure Jack and Ianto wouldn't take us to a place where people aren't understanding and accepting."
Jack took the Doctor's hand in his, stroking the back of it with his thumb. "We're fine," he reassured. "And here's Antonio! He's the grandson. I'll have my regular, Antonio, and the same for my sweetheart here. And wine all around! You know what I like."
Antonio nodded, smilingly appraising the Doctor. "And this is the lucky fellow, then?"
"I'd say it's me that's the lucky one," Jack replied. "In fact, he's not just my sweetheart. He's my husband."
"Congratulations! Wine is on the house!" Antonio pocketed his pen and pad and shook first Jack's hand, then the Doctor's. "Call me Tony," he said, smiling widely. "And you are?"
"John." The Doctor said, flicking his eyes at Jack. "Doctor John Smith Harkness."
"A doctor!" Tony beamed. "That's nice! I hope you two are happy together, even if you did break my heart! I had hopes. Jack is quite a catch!"
Jack smiled and squeezed the Doctor's hand. "This time," he said to Tony, "It's me who's the lucky one. The Doctor is the catch of many, many lifetimes, Tony. In fact, he's the catch of all time."
Tony chuckled. "You're a naughty man, Captain Harkness, making your husband blush like that! You make a great couple."
While Ianto and Martha ordered their meal and chatted with Antonio, Jack stood, took the Doctor's hand, tugging until the Doctor stood. Jack led him over to the jukebox and fed the machine coins. It began to play Midnight Sun.
He pulled the Doctor into his arms, nuzzling the Doctor's ear, and began to dance. "I love this song," he said. "It's so romantic. And it reminds me of you." He kissed the Time Lord's cheek and gazed into his eyes, singing along. "Each star it's own aurora borealis, suddenly you held me tight, I could see the Midnight Sun. I can't explain the silver rain that found me-or was that a moonlight veil? The music of the universe around me, or was that a nightingale…"
"Pulling out all the stops, Captain?" The Doctor grinned. His tone was a bit on the smart side, but his eyes sparkled like smoky topaz shot through with gold.
Jack tightened his arm around the Doctor's waist. "Hey, this is our first real date," he admonished. "Can't a fellow romance his sweethearts a little?"
"Not exactly putting up a fight, am I?"
"Not that it would help if you did," Jack teased. "I'd just have to chase you down and romance you back into my arms." He picked up the tune again. "But after you were gone," he sang softly, "There was still some stardust on my sleeve…"
"Just look at you," grinned the Doctor. "For all your flirting and sleeping around, you're still just a romantic at heart."
"Hey! Not for everyone!" He looked at the Doctor, drinking in every detail of his face. "When I get us back home, I'm going to count every single freckle on your face and kiss each and every one."
The Time Lord looked deeply into Jack's eyes, looking like he had fallen into their blue depths, trapped there happily. "My Jack," he whispered. "My Captain. How far we've come, you and I."
"And there's so much more to come," Jack replied, kissing the soft skin of the Doctor's temple. "So very much more."
"Jack?"
"Yes, sweethearts?"
"Prydonian."
"What?" Jack couldn't help chuckling at the unexpected and totally out-of-context word.
"Prydonian," The Doctor said again. "You said that's our safety word. For when I want you to stop? I s'pose I should eat something soon, I feel a bit weak."
Jack pulled him close, chuckling, then kissed the top of his head. "We really need to work on the definition of the phrase 'safety word,' sweethearts. Come on, we'll sit you down and see if you feel better after you eat, yeah?" He guided he Doctor back to their table and into his chair just as fresh bread and salad arrived.
After their meal, the Doctor perked up, pulling Jack back onto the dance floor. Martha and Ianto joined them. As Ianto pulled Martha close, she whispered in his ear. "You were right," she giggled. "Little cartoon hearts!