When I'm Missing You
Chapter 4
...
It was wrong, my obsession with her.
I had a girlfriend. A girl I loved more than anything in the world.
A girl that made me good.
And I was fantasizing about another.
Every touch, every kiss, every goddamn look, I found myself thinking of the stranger girl. Her black hair and forever legs and charcoal eyes locked with secrets. And Clary would stare at me with her wide, knowing emerald eyes and wild red hair.
She knew.
She knew I wasn't really thinking about her when I said "I love you". She knew in my mind I wasn't really touching my lips to hers, but to another's.
She knew I did not dream of her, that it was not her face I saw when I went to sleep. She knew that my thoughts constantly strayed to her, the other woman. The stranger woman. The woman neither she nor I had ever met.
She knew.
But she didn't say anything.
And I knew.
But I didn't say anything either.
Because everything we had rested on a knife's edge, and the ground beneath it was unsteady. A single nudge, a stray breath, and it would fall, tearing everything I thought I cared about and everything I knew she cared about down with it.
O.o
Simon was a nice boy. A vampire, yes, but that was part of the attraction.
But I didn't want a nice boy.
I wanted a golden boy.
The kind of golden boy that had dark things hidden behind his eyes.
He haunted my dreams, invaded every waking moment with his constant absence and unattainability. I wanted to see him again, I wanted to find out the dark things hidden his bright eyes.
I wanted him.
And I hated him for it.
But oh how I wanted to see him again. I did not want to admit it, but I had gone to that small music shop, most of the time by accident, to see if I could at least catch a glimpse of him, but he was never there.
I needed to see him. Even if he was as impossible as a dream.
Hope this was ok. Next chapter they meet. Yay!
Review...please?
Blue :)
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Mortal Instruments Series.