Prompt #13: Condom; July 2011. Rating: PG-13. A/N: Spoilers for Twilight: Breaking Dawn. Avert your eyes! Thank you Bleached-Whale for the review. :)
Condom
"Tatsuki-chan," stammered Orihime. "I don't think—"
"You read Breaking Dawn. Do you want a blood-thirsty hybrid baby breaking your spine and gnawing its way out of your guts?"
"But Ulquiorra-kun isn't a vampire—"
"He was dead, wasn't he?"
"Yes—"
"And now he isn't, is he?"
"But—"
"He's pale. He moves at superhuman speeds. He changes into a bat. He has a tragic and tormented backstory."
"We're just going for ice cream—"
"Orihime! Do you want a half-undead baby breaking your spine?"
"Well, no..."
With grim satisfaction, Tatsuki pressed the box of condoms into Orihime's hands.