Yukio's First Demon Kill
Yukio trains under Fujimoto's tutelage for about a year before his father decides to subject him to field experience.
In the past month, Yukio has witnessed countless arguments between Fujimoto and Shura, all of which revolve around him. Whenever his father and his senior think his attention is elsewhere, they attempt to discuss him discreetly. However, Shura's inability to be subtle makes Yukio painfully aware that he is their favorite subject to debate. Even with a textbook propped in front of him, he can't help but overhear the conversation taking place in the next room.
"You need to take scaredy cat out for a mission," Shura insists.
"I can't do that," Fujimoto replies. "You know that he isn't an esquire, yet. Thus he isn't sanctioned to go on missions, much less carry weapons. The Order has decided that no one under the age of ten can take the esquire exam. You saw how hard I had to fight to even get him enrolled in the cram school with a reduced course load."
Shura guffaws as if she has never heard anything more ridiculous in her life. "Since when are you the type to follow the rules? You'll do what you want, and Mephisto will turn a blind eye. More likely, he'll actually help you."
"Yukio needs more time to prepare," Fujimoto says.
"I was fighting by your side with less training than he's gotten," Shura counters. She pauses and lets out a long sigh, the tone in her voice softening, "Don't you think you ought to see if he's cut out to be an exorcist?"
"He's too young for a mission," Fujimoto reiterates. "It has nothing to do with his capabilities as an exorcist. Yukio's existence is the reason the Order made that rule about esquires being at least ten years old. He has already shattered all precedents for studying exorcism."
"Doesn't that tell you something?" Shura asks contentiously. "If the Order doesn't think an eight year old kid is ready, shouldn't you re-think his training timeline? Maybe in a couple of years he'll be more capable of handling this sort of training better."
"Yukio must follow this path," Fujimoto replies, his voice sounding tired. "He has no other option. The longer he trains, the better prepared he'll be for the future."
"I've heard this story before," Shura comments in a bored tone. "You know my opinion of scaredy-cat four eyes. Honestly, there are worse things to face than being picked on by lesser demons… If he becomes an exorcist, he'll be subjected to so many dark experiences."
"Seeing Yukio train over the past year hasn't changed your first impression of him?"
"He has gotten better," Shura admits. "But that's because he works hard. He's a smart kid, which is why he's whizzing through those classes. But he's still too soft. I'm just not sure he'll be able to handle himself in battle or cope with the things he'll see on missions. Even with as far as he's come, I'm always skeptical of people being able to change their nature. Your son is gentle, Shirou. Are you sure you want to sully his hands?"
"You're wrong about him," Fujimoto insists, his voice quiet but confident.
"You have to disagree with me," Shura states. "If you didn't have faith in your decision, you'd have to live with the fact that you've put that boy through hell for the past year for nothing. Just take him on an easy mission. Goblins, even. They usually don't get out of hand. He has enough skill for that, especially with you by his side."
While listening to this conversation, Yukio's face flushes with rage and embarrassment. Part of him wants to march into the other room and tell Shura that she's wrong and that he'd be happy to prove it. However, this decision is not his to make. Until his father tells him he is ready for combat, Yukio will continue to feign ignorance about Fujimoto and Shura's constant arguments about his suitability to be an exorcist. He drops the pretense of studying and sets his textbook down as he hears his father continue the conversation.
"I thought you said he wasn't cut out for this," Fujimoto comments dryly.
"I stand by my opinion, which won't change unless he shows me he's capable of handling himself in action. Just test the boy. You need to see for yourself if he can pull the trigger when he needs to. If you keep on ignoring the practical side of this occupation, he's never going to learn, and he's going to end up getting himself killed!"
Yukio cringes at the harshness in Shura's tone and the implications of her words. Although Shura's approach seems callous to Yukio, he can't help but admire her ability to get her way, as he finds himself accompanying Fujimoto and Shura on his first, unauthorized mission that night.
As Yukio checks to make sure he has extra clips and holy water on him, his father approaches him out of Shura's ear shot. "Don't tell your classmates I took you out. It'll be our secret."
"Yes father," Yukio responds, his obedience automatic.
"And Yukio, you know you can do this. You've worked hard and trained well. And, well, I'm proud of you."
Yukio manages a watery smile. He tells himself, 'I cannot disappoint father. I have to prove Shura wrong, so I can keep training. Giving up now would be letting Rin down. I cannot let that happen; I will not let that happen.' With his intentions clear in his mind, Yukio walks towards the door where Shura lounges lazily.
"Hey, scaredy-cat four eyes," Shura says through heavily hooded eyes. "You understand what tonight is about, right?"
"It's a test," he replies tightly, meeting her gaze with a glare.
"At least you're a smart one," she comments, unfazed by his withering look. "I've never made it a secret that I don't think this is the path for you. You're too young." She lets out an exasperated sigh. "It's more than just your age. Your whole personality doesn't agree with being an exorcist. You're too gentle. You just don't have that toughness inside you." She shrugs as if she has no other words to explain her thoughts with.
Yukio narrows his eyes but says nothing.
Shura continues, "Let's make a wager. If you manage to kill one of the demons tonight, I'll stop trying to dissuade you from training. I'll even stop bugging Shirou about this subject. However, if you can't manage to kill a single demon tonight, then you quit studying exorcism."
Yukio contemplates the challenge. Not having Shura constantly interfering with his studies certainly has its appeal. "Fine," he answers. "You have yourself a deal."
As the trio heads out into the night, Yukio keeps a watchful eye on his surroundings. The tall buildings, bustling with life during the day, seem ominous when cloaked with the dark of night. Autumn has long since stripped the trees of their leaves, so when the winds blow, the branches knock against each other. To Yukio's over-active, eight-year-old imagination, the sound reminds him of rattling bones. However, the image that unnerves him the most is the moon, its sickly orangey glow reminiscent of the flesh of a rotting melon. Every observation about this night fills him with dread and triggers internal warnings that scream "danger." Pressing his trembling lips together, Yukio grips a gun tightly in his hand and hopes he doesn't look as nervous as he feels.
"Relax, scaredy cat," Shura says, thumping Yukio on the back more forcefully than he likes. "You won't be able to do anything if you're too tense."
Looking up at Shura, Yukio feels both annoyed and awed by the older girl. A part of him simply cannot understand her calm attitude towards impending peril, while another part wishes he could muster the same confidence that she radiates. Yukio reasons that no harm can come from him acing assertive, so he squares his shoulders and says, "I'm just being observant. There's nothing wrong with that."
"It'll okay, Yukio," Fujimoto assures him. "You'll be fine. Do you see those three goblins over there?"
As his father points, Yukio's eyes follow the direction being indicated. "Yes, father," he says. "Are they our target?"
"Yes. There's a stray dog that has died in that alleyway, so they're getting a bit rambunctious."
"Let's go!" Shura exclaims, interrupting the explanation. "Scaredy-cat four eyes, do your best to take them out."
The manner in which Shura addresses him has always annoyed him in the past. Tonight, with his pride and future on the line, his blood boils at her dismissive words. "That's what I plan to do," he retorts, his tone short.
"That's the spirit," she says, flashing him a barbaric smile.
So, the three of them approach the goblins quietly with Yukio in the lead. As they near the alleyway where the goblins are congregating, one of the demons notices their presence and heads towards them with a speed that catches Yukio off guard.
"Yukio!" his father encourages. "Aim and shoot!"
Yukio stares at the approaching demon, momentarily dazed. 'I can't do this. I'm not cut out for violence like this. Even if they're demons, they're still alive. So to shoot would mark me as a murderer.' These irrational thoughts render his motor skills useless, and his grip on the gun weakens.
"Oy! Scaredy-cat four eyes, it's getting close!" Shura warns. "If you don't shoot, you're going to lose."
'I don't want Shura to be right,' Yukio realizes. The intensity behind this thought surprises him. 'I've already decided to do this. My resolve is who I am. I've put so much effort into training so I can protect Rin in the future. I have to do this for myself, my father, and most importantly for my twin.' The adrenaline coursing through his body finally allows him to move again. Raising a shaking hand, he aims his gun at the quickly approaching target. With a deep breath, Yukio shuts his eyes and prepares to squeeze the trigger.
"Idiot!" Shura reprimands. "What are you doing closing your eyes for? They're quick. They can dodge."
Shura's words jolt Yukio back to reality. As his eyes spring open, he finds himself face-to-face with the goblin. Instincts take over, and Yukio fires twice in quick succession. His immediate reaction of joy at having won his wager with Shura is short-lived, because the impact of the bullets causes the goblin in front of Yukio to explode, drenching him with its remains. Shock holds Yukio's body hostage, and he barely notices his father and Shura springing into action to take care of the other two goblins in their proximity.
Yukio can't move, think, or speak. He is only aware of the fact that he's covered in goblin guts. Blood, having the color of grape juice and the viscosity of honey, soaks his clothing, saturates his hair, and streaks his glasses. Pieces of demon carcass feel wet, thick, and slimy as they run down the side of his face. The putrid smell that surrounds Yukio reminds him of decaying flesh. Overwhelmed by these gruesome sensations, Yukio starts to panic. 'The smell is so awful. I don't think I'll ever be able to get rid of this odor. I'll forever smell like a corpse. I'm so sticky and slimy. I'll never feel clean again.'
Whatever tenuous grasp Yukio has over his emotions vanishes, and a horrified shriek rips out of his throat and echoes eerily off of the alley walls. Yukio immediately regrets his actions, as demon flesh and blood drip into his opened mouth. The taste and texture of the goblin carcass is even worse than the smell. He feels as if he's tasting death.
Nausea washes over Yukio, and his grip on the gun loosens, which sends it crashing to the ground. Soon, he follows suit, dropping to his hands and knees, while coughing and gagging at the taste in his mouth. Yukio's throat convulses, and his stomach churns violently. In his bowed position, he retches until he rids himself of his dinner. Once his body stops heaving, he sits upright and takes in one deep breath after another. However, he can't keep his gaze from settling on his hands, which are covered in demon remains. Disgusted by the sight of those hands -his murderous hands- the events of the night rush over him again sending his emotions into overload. He finds himself sobbing and screaming uncontrollably, unsure if he will ever be able to stop. Even through his hysterics, he is vaguely aware of Fujimoto picking him up and hugging him tightly and of Shura's laughter ringing in the background.
'Is this what I'm doomed to face every night for the rest of my life?' he wonders, sickened by the prospect of his own future. Then blissfully, Yukio's world fades into darkness.
Author's notes: Much thanks to analineblue for the beta (and for assuring me that I'd achieved the mood I wanted to).
A couple of notes:
(1) I struggled with how to portray Shura's speaking and decided not to use slang. (I had trouble with "yer" substituting for two different words, 'you're' and 'your'. =p) I think consistency is more important, yes?
(2) Both the anime and manga gloss over Yukio's path to becoming an exorcist, so I had a lot of trouble (and fun) trying to reconcile my speculations with given canon. (For example, would the Vatican sanction a seven year old kid to carry weapons? I really didn't think so… )
Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed. As always, thoughts, comments, and con-crit are much appreciated. (Next up, I'm going back in time – Shura and Yukio's first meeting. They hit it off right away. Can you hear the sarcasm? =p)